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Stories of terrible teachers

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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    tomorrow's gonna be fun

    call my mom and borrow 500 bucks so I can continue to have a place to live and classes to go to

    wait for another day where my job doesn't fucking return my calls (I've called them about 12 times, they're "waiting for the higher ups to approve it")

    maybe get drunk, we'll see

    Raneados on
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    DefenestratorDefenestrator Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    My 12th grade English teacher was also the coach of the girls' soccer team.

    We had this stupid pep rally sort of thing where all the different teams performed these little skits and shit.

    The girls' soccer team did a pretty. . . let's say risque dance number to the tune of "Pour Some Sugar on Me".

    At the end of this dance, the girls all crowded around my teacher and poured a handful of sugar over his head.

    Two of the girls on the team were his daughters.

    Defenestrator on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    girls are so dumb sometimes

    Raneados on
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I had a teacher in speech class which, despite the name, was all about the study of human behavior. The guy was hilarious, and really had a way with words.

    Once he told us, and I'll never forget this; "In my class, there are no rules against cheating. However, there are rules against getting caught cheating."

    One day the lesson was about the seven elements of human contact, and how seemingly-harmless differences in ordinary body language can make someone else very uncomfortable.

    He had some of the students come up to demonstrate, and showed us a few examples. He gave one kid a normal handshake. He then repeated the handshake, but wiggled his thumb along the back of the kid's hand, and the kid almost spazzed out, like "WTF ARE YOU DOING?!"

    He did this a few times, and the whole class was cracking up over and over.

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    NarbusNarbus Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Oh this is close enough to a teacher story.

    I went through Catholic Confirmation when I was 18, mostly because I wanted cash from my relatives, and to get confirmed, since I wasn't in the Catholic school in town, I had to go through a weekly class for about 3 months.

    The class was taught by a married couple. She was a construction worker, he was a pastry chef. The first sign of trouble that I remember was when they started oversharing about their son, and their relationship with him, and how much money he owed them for the truck they gave him, and how he wasn't paying because of etc etc. Every class had at least one story where they tried to make us all their therapists.

    But the most vivid memory was when they decided to talk about pre-marital sex. This was awesome for two big reasons: 1. The pregnant 17 year old in the room turning some very remarkable shades of red. 2. They put a list up on the board for pros and cons of having premarital sex. Since we were all in a church basement for this, and no one wanted to be the church skank, we all quickly started throwing out cons. Then, she (keep the Construction worker/pastry chef physical dynamic in mind) says, "Well, you all have cons, what are some pros? You know, IT DOES FEEL REALLY GOOD."

    Narbus on
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    alivatnaalivatna Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Worst teacher(s) for me:
    -My financial accounting professor. This was an intro class, btw. His philosophy was that he had to make us into accountants at the end of the semester, regardless of how little(none) we knew--in 4 MONTHS time. The amount of work he gave us to achieve his goal was horrible... He made us do a project where we had to scout a company, acquire some BS 150+page document and scour the entire thing and pluck out specific information regarding the financial past, present and future of the company. Then he had us group up with several other students to compare/contrast our findings. HOWEVER, if any of the data was incorrect/misinterpreted/misunderstood--regardless of which group member screwed up--the entire team was failed. Needless to say, I skipped that final.

    -My chemistry professor. I dislike foreign professors... I'm sorry it's mean but I do. They're brilliant, don't get me wrong-- but I can't for the life of me put up with their arrogance, lack of leniency, and language butchering. If I can't understand a word the teacher says and if I ask for help from another student and she yells at me for not paying attention/listening I yell back. She never smiled in my general direction again and I ended up getting an F in that class as well.

    Coolest teacher ever:
    -My freshman comp professor. She was a real cute 20-something about to go for her doctorate in English and she was just so awesome. She made writing 10352398092384 times more interesting and approachable than I ever dreamed. She was so passionate about her work, too. Every paper that she returned to us was FILLED with red pen notes. She gave feedback on nearly every sentence we typed. Also, she was a huge fan of indie music so when I found out her and I had the same favorite bands I was ecstatic. The day she added me as a friend on Facebook and I saw that her default pic was her drunk out of her gourd was the day I finally felt like a teacher understood me. And I got an A. Whatupppp.

    Most lenient teacher:
    -My high school physics teacher. He basically realized that half the class only took it because they needed an extra class for their senior year. So after making catapults and trying to teach us physics for like 2 months he decided to F the curriculum. He still taught, but in the middle of lectures he basically told us his stories from when he was in the Navy. When final time came around the school rule was kids who had >=85% were exempt from taking it. So, when the rest of us (who no doubt had significantly less that an 85 avg.) showed up we were pleasantly surprised to find out that he didn't have a final for us, just some more stories. And as a parting gift he gave us all a C on our final grade because "I was a high school senior once..."

    alivatna on
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    alivatna wrote: »
    -My chemistry professor. I dislike foreign professors... I'm sorry it's mean but I do. They're brilliant, don't get me wrong-- but I can't for the life of me put up with their arrogance, lack of leniency, and language butchering. If I can't understand a word the teacher says and if I ask for help from another student and she yells at me for not paying attention/listening I yell back. She never smiled in my general direction again and I ended up getting an F in that class as well.

    Ugh.

    There was an idian professor teaching advanced web design. She wasn't the original teacher, she just took it over when the original got extremely sick and couldn't continue with the class for a while.

    It was bad enough that the way she explained everything didn't always make sense (not really sure if it was more of a language barrier thing, or a personal problem on my end), to make it worse I coudl barely understand her half of the time.

    I'm sitting at my computer, tinkering with some code in notepad, when behind me I hear

    Teacher:"Crappy!"

    Me: What?!

    Teacher: "Wrap it!"

    Me: Oh. o_O

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    George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    My 7th Grade teacher was Indian. One of the smartest people when it comes to cells and biology and stuff..
    end of last year one of her students had a hammer (I don't know why), swung it back, and the head flew off, deciding a nice place to land would be her forehead.

    George Fornby Grill on
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    Myself980Myself980 Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Last semester, one of the profs took a disliking to me. I know why, but it wasn't intentional, I swear.
    We we're making users accounts and folders in some command-line variant of linux, and I got bored and decided to be immature. This is fine, normally, but that day something went wrong and i was forced to ask questions.

    He was not happy that index.html was stored in /Ass/Butter and belonged to Fudgepacker (password Pedo7), who belonged to the user group NAMBLA.

    To be fair, this was after 5 hours in the same classroom listening to drone about either Windows Server 2003 or Apache server.

    Myself980 on
    Bad command or cheese. Abort/Retry/French?
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Crawford wrote: »
    My 7th Grade teacher was Indian. One of the smartest people when it comes to cells and biology and stuff..
    end of last year one of her students had a hammer (I don't know why), swung it back, and the head flew off, deciding a nice place to land would be her forehead.

    What happened to her? She didn't die or get brain damage or anything, did she?

    Centipede Damascus on
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    CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    In 10th grade I had a female P.E instructor. I don't know what her deal was, but she seemed to not think very much of me. One day everybody buddies up to check eachother's posture, I check out alright by my classmate, but as I go to start on something else the teacher walks by with a couple girls and ridicules me about how I'm standing.

    Then in dance the teacher saw me dancing with a girl different than usual and later asks her if she was helping me, but I was the one showing her what to do. So after that the teacher makes some big apology in front of everyone about how she thought I was a terrible dancer (given no evidence that I was).
    Man, I'm awesome at dancing, stupid teacher.

    Campion on
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    KessaKessa Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I have a list of good and bad teachers that you could read for days, so I'll keep it brief with a simple question:

    Are AP classes just specifically designed to let smart kids not do anything, and then get college credit for it? I mean, in mine, the AP classes were much easier than the honors and regular classes (due to a lack of projects and busywork), and a hell of a lot more interesting (because the teachers actually taught). Did everyone else have a similar experience, or is Florida just really that awesome?

    t Rane: I'd be careful of that painting class. A friend of mine signed up for one of those intro classes, which was photography, and she was told to go get $1000+ of equipment... for an elective. I dunno how much easels and canvas are these days, but if paintbrushes are anything like make-up brushes, good ones are gonna be $Texas.

    Kessa on
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Half of our AP English class dropped after the first week because the teacher was a dried up mummy husk of a woman whose only joy was shitting on everyone.

    But then every other AP class was pretty sweet. So I dunno.

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    seizureorbsseizureorbs Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    in second or third grade we had this substitute named ms. novak who had fallen off the fucking wagon

    she got so angry at people doing minor things like talking that she slammed two kid's heads together, threw whatever was on her desk at us (balled up paper, erasers, pencils), screamed, and smacked a kid with a ruler

    it was pretty funny to be honest

    about a month later she was arrested for choking a kid

    WHOOPS.jpg

    seizureorbs on
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    in second or third grade we had this substitute named ms. novak who had fallen off the fucking wagon

    she got so angry at people doing minor things like talking that she slammed two kid's heads together, threw whatever was on her desk at us (balled up paper, erasers, pencils), screamed, and smacked a kid with a ruler

    it was pretty funny to be honest

    about a month later she was arrested for choking a kid

    ahahahah

    Jesus Christ

    Goatmon on
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    HylianbunnyHylianbunny Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I haven't really had many bad ones, but the best teacher I had did a killer velociraptor impression.

    Oh, wait, I can think of one terrible one; a professor for Spanish who didn't bother showing up half of the time, and showed up a half hour late the other half. That was...yeah, that wasn't fun.

    Hylianbunny on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    My 8th grade geography teacher pinned me to a wall of lockers by my throat for jokingly pantomiming the act of stealing his wallet from his hand (he had it held up in the hall as he was buying a fund-raiser candybar from a girl). He screamed something at me while he did it. Something along the lines of "you little shits".

    I was just shocked to silence, honestly, but my mother made sure he kept his ass in line for fear of the administration finding out about it.

    Fucker got his though. I hid his teacher's edition for a solid month before he found it again. It threw his whole world out of whack like in that Simpsons episode. He was even crazier than usual that month.

    TankHammer on
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    Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    So I told the admin staff that I was pulling out of my computer animation course. It's been a huge disappointing shambles and I'd probably have achieved more if I had just studied and animated on my own for the last 5 months rather than working through their ass-backwards methods.

    Synthetic Orange on
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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    My fifth grade teacher slapped me so hard in the back of the head that I saw stars. Then I had a panic attack.

    Metzger Meister on
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    ForkesForkes Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I had a teacher in grade 7 who was a real dick to anyone who didn't play sports. I did play sports, but he was still a big dick to me.

    In grade 9, he hit me with his van.

    Cementing the idea that he is a dick.

    Forkes on
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    transistorsecttransistorsect Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    In 7th grade, I had this really sleazy history teacher. He would always flirt the underage girls. I'm mean, I though he was a cool dude and funny. He threw a stress ball at me when I fell asleep in his class once.

    He does porn now though. So in hindsight, he was pretty creepy.

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    L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    In 7th grade, I had this really sleazy history teacher. He would always flirt the underage girls. I'm mean, I though he was a cool dude and funny. He threw a stress ball at me when I fell asleep in his class once.

    He does porn now though. So in hindsight, he was pretty creepy.

    haha that is fantastic

    I had an english teacher last year who thought that everyone should value English over every other subject, especially sciences, so I made a point of showing up about 5 minutes late and saying that I had to clean up after an experiment in chemistry about half of the time. Honestly it was more fun baiting her than it was annoying that she was such a bitch.

    I had a history teacher who really helped to put me off the subject, he tried to back up the aforementioned english teacher in the idea that arts subjects are somehow better (obviously wrong). He also told one of my friends to stop hanging out with me because I was a bully about a week after I got told to fuckoff by the group of guys that I hung out with.

    Then I stole his door.

    L|ama on
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    What did you do with the door after stealing it?

    Goatmon on
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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    It was a red door, so he painted it black.

    Metzger Meister on
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    My 6th grade teacher got arrested for having child porn last year.

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited July 2008
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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    JoonJoon Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I'm taking a few classes at a local community college over the summer, just for some extra units. Part of my grade in psychology is based on how often we post on the class discussion boards. Our only instruction was that we would be graded on the "quality and quantity" of our posts. We're about two weeks in to the class and our professor finally decided to grade our discussion participation up to this point. Now she decides to tell us that she wants at least 4 posts per topic and prefers anecdotes to information we learned from the book or other sources. Since she just now decided to give us actual instructions, the class average for discussions is 33%.

    I'm pretty sure that if the class gets 33% due to lack of information, it's your fault you bitch.

    Joon on
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    Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I had a chemistry teacher who tried to convince us that if you could lower the pressure of water to below 1 atmosphere, you could easily breathe it.

    Synthetic Orange on
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    The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I had a chemistry teacher who fucked a group of students who were good friends with her daughter who was in the school. She tried to top herself and is still in the mental ward after a year

    Our PE teacher was also charged with some sex thing aswell, no-one knows what happened with him.
    His wife was my english teacher for 2 year.

    The Black Hunter on
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    SaphSaph Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    Saph wrote: »
    At my school you brought in your own books to read at the start of the day. When I was 10, Pokemon was all the rage so I brought in a Pokemon book, which she confiscated. Why? "Because it teaches the theory of evolution"

    Also I'm a pretty talented cartoonist and this same teacher would tell me to 'stop drawing like that' for work which we were allowed to illustrate.

    were you drawing with a kawaii anime manga style ^_^

    because high schoolers who do that shit need to be slapped
    Absolutely not.

    And I was 10, not a high schooler.

    Saph on
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    SaphSaph Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I can't believe I never thought of my ICT teacher.

    He joined in my second year at secondary school, replacing the only ICT teacher we had and up to my left was the only ICT teacher in the school. ICT was always poor at this school, I left a year ago but even to this day the computers still run on Windows 98. Not that it mattered, they could've gone forward in time and got Windows Vista and the teaching standards still would've been poor.

    His name was Mr. Chaggar. From day one, he was a figure of fun. But he soon established himself as a complete moron.

    Once, he lost Microsoft Word. Just plain lost it. Wouldn't show up in the programs. He was like "I have no idea where I put it" and we had to open old documents to access it.

    He would turn monitors off if you were caught on the internet or you were just plain misbehaving. I can only conclude that he thought this would turn the computer off, because he would just walk away and we would immediately turn it back on.

    He fell down the stairs.

    Once he made a database and it meant to represent the stock of a shop. There was one item in the list that confused everyone, "Umberla". Turns out he tried to write "umbrella". And this wasn't just a typo because it was repeated throughout the database.

    He would talk for about 30 minutes at the start of each lesson about utter crap. He was a terrible public speaker. He wasn't nervous, but he was incapable of explaining himself. He'd do this each lesson even if we were working on an ongoing project, and one time this kid just held up his hand and said "Sir, Can we get on with our work now?" and he shouted back "NO YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T"

    He once said we didn't have to enter city names into a database because "thats an american thing".

    The most baffling spelling mistake he made was "shoo" instead of "shoe". This was written, not typed.

    He would blatantly come across a word he couldn't say in textbooks, tell someone off for misbehaving, then move on to the next word.

    He thought I was on the internet and turned my monitor off. I wasn't on the internet, I was on word.

    I was lucky to get a C in that class. Most people weren't so lucky.

    Saph on
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    PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2008
    He, I like the pokemon evolution thing.

    PotU on
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    SaphSaph Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Because we all know that species become other species once we reach a certain level or traded to another version.

    Saph on
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I can only cum when I hang around this one rock outside of seattle at night

    Shorty on
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    SaphSaph Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    It took me a while, but I got it.

    Saph on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I'm off to my painting class

    I will let you dudes know if my teacher is a loon

    Raneados on
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I fight off the other monsters with my wood hammer attack

    Shorty on
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    SaphSaph Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    God help us all when the amount of Pokemon reaches 666.

    Saph on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    knowing japan, it will be a devil

    it will

    Raneados on
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    MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    My teacher in elementary school didn't just let other students be shitheads to me, she led the charge.

    I had a teacher in middle school who, when told "aint aint a word" as a joke, would respond with "No, aint isn't a word." Also, she was an abrasive harpy in general. She would not just flip her wig, but crap it out at this post.

    All my teachers in college have been great.

    MKR on
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