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Captain Planet Phalla (Postgame Show)

GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, ProbablyWatertown, WIRegistered User regular
edited July 2008 in Critical Failures
Captain Planet Phalla- 52 players

Lisa Ling: Welcome to Ultimate Explorer. I'm Lisa Ling. As the green movement, and the planet, continue to heat up, many around the globe debate the proper method of saving the Earth, or whether it even needs to be saved at all. On the frontlines of this debate stand a rare few, chosen by a goddess to lead the masses to salvation. But something went wrong, and now those rare few have been reduced to a rare few of those rare few. These are the remnants of the Planeteers. I recently traveled to their war-torn home island to speak with one of the survivors...

Man: My name is Grant McCormick. I live- or used to live, anyway- in Red Wing, Minnesota. 10 years ago, the fallen goddess of the Earth, Gaia, charged me with defending my home ecoregion, the Upper Midwest forest-savanna transition, from all who would destroy it.
Ling: Why fallen?
McCormick: Gaia, she has been stressed out a tad. She's been focusing her energies as of late into trying to fight back against those who would ruin her planet. But it hasn't worked out too well. The head-on attack on the United States and nearby offshore oil platforms she sent in 2005 in the form of a hurricane- you know it as Hurricane Katrina- only served to contaminate the water and cause some particularly despicable individuals to engage in price gouging. She realized, one day, that she cannot do this alone.

Ling voiceover: Gaia recalled a TV show that aired in the early 1990's called Captain Planet and the Planeteers, and got an idea. She didn't have the resources to create a singular guardian, but she could make rings, she could make an island and she could recruit some Planeteers. Five, though, was not going to be nearly enough. She settled on the number 867- the number of land-based ecoregions mapped and agreed upon by scientists. She recruited one person per region, from that region whenever possible, and charged all her recruits with defending their given region. As a base of operations, she created an island in the Atlantic Ocean, about halfway between Recife, Brazil, and Dakar, Senegal. By a vote amongst the Planeteers, they named their home base Gilman Island, after American environmentalist Robert Gilman.

For about six months, the 867 Planeteers for the most part did their duty. Gaia had given them little instruction past 'just get this done', so most went with pamphlets, protests and similar activities. The more daring Planeteers went with the occasional citizen's arrest of someone engaging in poaching or illegal clear-cutting.

Then, of course, things went wrong.

McCormick: A number of the Planeteers were, how you say, extreme in their methods. Nobody told Nicaragua's Claribel Solorzano (Central American pine-oak forests) that tree spikes are not cool. Seven dead lumberjacks later, she was arrested and jailed. (Her second mistake was smuggling another tree spike into the prison. It wound up lodged in her throat.) Nobody told Hong Kong native Tony Shanghui (South China-Vietnam subtropical evergreen forests) not to chainsaw a pro-industry government official (though they really shouldn't have had to). Needless to say, he was never seen again. Nobody told Russian Ivan Petrov (Sarmatic mixed forests) that perhaps bombing a nuclear plant was a bad idea. His body was later ruled to have been "accidentally" stabbed 79 times in the crotch. And the less said about American Michael Johannen (Colorado Plateau shrublands) and what was dubbed the Cream Pies In Arizona Incident, the better.

Long story short, Gaia did about as good a job of recruiting as the Arizona Cardinals.

Ling VO: Several industrialized nations, many of which were not in line with Gaia's policies, went after Gilman Island, painting the extremists as representative of the entire group. The Planeteers were referred to as 'dissidents,' 'enemies of the people', 'enemy combatants', 'infidels', and 'unbelievers', as Gaia had- correctly- declared herself a goddess. The Planeteers quickly found themselves an endangered species, as one by one everyone from extremist to pacifist to former Dalai Lama candidate were jailed, gunned down or otherwise incapacitated. Gaia called a press conference in Geneva, Switzerland begging the planet to calm down, but she, in her latest and ultimately last mistake, had taken mortal form to do so and was herself assassinated by a Ukranian national.

McCormick: At this time, only 52 remained free. I had been arrested at Mitchell International Airport in Milwaukee trying to get the hell to somewhere safe, and was currently being questioned.
Ling: Did they ever ask you about being a Planeteer?
McCormick: For some reason, no. Turns out you could only have 3 ounces worth of liquid in your luggage and I had a 5 ounce bottle of hand lotion. For this I got a ride in the electric cart. I was later released, but too late to participate in what happened next.
Ling: Which was?
McCormick: With her last bit of godly strength before passing out, Gaia summoned the 52 survivors to a sanctuary- Attenborough Hill, that big hill right behind us- and instructed them not to leave the island until they had rooted out the remaining extremists and either turned them in or handled things themselves. If even one good Planeteer remained after this was all over, perhaps they could restore things to some degree. But if the extremists, who do not realize that what they're doing is wrong, should overwhelm the good, Earth is surely doomed.

Ling VO: The 52 had mostly not met since the original island-naming vote, though the extremists turned out to have formed an informal social group. In fact, everyone had taken codenames for self-preservation purposes. They knew they didn't all agree with each other or who Gaia wanted gone. But they knew what had to be done.

ROLES:
*Planeteers. The good guys.
*Extremists. The bad guys. The only people that know each other. There are 8 of them (the number I calculated to be the sweet spot).
SIDE ROLE:
*Ring seekers. Five of these guys, alignment is irrelevant. Each ring seeker is looking to claim a specific ring for whatever reason. Should they get their hands on it, the power of that ring will increase, but only as long as it is in the hands of its seeker. Should it be taken from the seeker, the ring will return to normal strength. They may begin with a ring of their own, but you can be assured that no seeker starts the game with the ring they seek. The Heart seeker will not start with Heart, but they may start with Earth, Fire, Wind or Water.
Boy, that was easy.

SPECIALS:
Okay, Gaia couldn't make a single guardian, but she could make rings. Five rings, corresponding to the show, were created and given to five of the Planeteers. These rings can be removed and given to another Planeteer. Should a Planeteer in possession of a ring be eliminated, their ring will be given to the first person to cast a vote against them in a round (after retractions). Should the Planeteer recieve no votes in the round of their elimination, the ring will be re-awarded at random, so all five rings will always be in play. No Planeteer can possess more than one ring at a time, so if you want a different ring, you'll either have to trade with another holder, or give up your ring and then start looking for the one you want. (In the event the field should get below five before a result is reached, only then will excess rings be removed.)

One more thing. Extremists could start with rings too, and can gain and lose them like everyone else. So giving someone your ring is not proof of innocence.

One more thing. Since you're all on a hill in full view of each other, and since usage on the show generally requires thrusting the ring hand out and yelling the name of the element, there's really no way to use them in secret. ("FIRE!" "Hey, who did that?" "It's a mystery!") All ring uses are done in broad daylight in front of God and everybody. (All anyone's going to know is that you have that ring. It's no hint as to your alignment.)

One more thing. What the ring actually DOES, though, is something only the holder, any previous holders, and the person that wants that ring know. You have to shout the name of your ring in the thread in its corresponding color, PM your specific action, and it will be taken care of. The rest of you will be left to figure it out yourself.

THE NUMBERS GAME:
*One vote-out a day. Two Extremist whacks a day.

ROSTER:
For reasons that can only be described as a personal bout of madness, I've made sigs consisting of your character's name placed on top of their home nation. They'll all look similar to mine. I'd like that the players use them while they're in the game. Just because you have codenames in narration doesn't mean you get to hide behind them in the game. I'll be posting them all; simply take yours and sig up.

Once you're gone, you're gone, so you're free to change it back upon your elimination, should that befall you. If there are any special aspects to your role, they'll be mentioned in your bio. If all you get is a description of your character, you can safely assume you're a garden-variety Planeteer.

RULES:
STANDARD RULES: The usual. Kill in red, retract in green. No screenshots to prove stuff, etc. No deadposting past the normal accepted amount. Just however you people play elsewhere in the land of networks and oooooos.
Oh, and no speaking in code. Whatever you do, no speaking in code.
HOUSE RULES:
1. Gaia, in selecting her Planeteers, valued a keen sense of wit- an ability to think on your feet. Therefore, tie votes will be broken by a battle of wits between the tied parties. The loser of the battle of wits will be eliminated. (There may be more than one type of battle in the works.) And let it be known that, whatever you guys want to do with your votes, I'm rooting for the battle of wits. However, in order to qualify for the battle, you must be online at the time of elimination. The daily deadline will be set at noon US Central time, or 1 PM US Eastern. (It'd be closer to something standard, but, you know, work and all.)
2. Extremists must collaborate and give me a single kill order. If we recieve more than one set of names, we will carry out whatever was sent to us last. So if one of your group decides to go rogue at the last minute and give two names the group has voted down 30 seconds before I call time, that's your problem. Get your troops in line.
3. Players may miss one vote without penalty. A second missed vote, consecutive or not, will result in elimination.
4. Gorilla Salad and I will attempt to let you know who's in charge on a given day, but just in case, be redundant about it and send the crucial stuff to both of us. We'll get things figured out easier that way.
5. In order to be considered a 'winner' you must do two things:

* Survive to the end of the game.
* Be on the winning side.

So if you sacrifice yourself "for the good of the team", you, personally, still lose. It's like Survivor: your alliance may have gotten to the end, but if YOU'RE sitting in the jury box at that point, fat lot of good that alliance did you. If you are asked to sacrifice yourself, please refer the person making that request to these win conditions, then laugh derisively.

You die, you lose. That simple.

I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
Gosling on
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Posts

  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    The roster:

    1- amateurhour (voted out, Gameday 10)
    2- Celebrim (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 5)
    3- LaOs (killed by Extremists, Gameday 2)
    4- JPants (winner)
    5- real_pochacco (killed by Captain Planet, Gameday 3)
    6- Gumpy (killed by Extremists, Gameday 4)
    7- Cynic Jester (killed by Extremists, Gameday 10)
    8- Hoggish Greedly (voted out, Gameday 1)
    9- Elki (eliminated for inactivity, Gameday 9)
    10- Arkas (killed by Captain Planet, Gameday 3)
    11- SpeedySwaf (killed by Extremists, Gameday 5)
    12- Medopine (winner)
    13- iamtheaznman (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 1)
    14- Seriously (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 7)
    15- Ragnar Danneskjold (voted out, Gameday 7)
    16- Varcayn (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 12)
    17- Rainfall (voted out, Gameday 9)
    18- Variable (killed by Extremists, Gameday 6)
    19- duallain (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 11)
    20- Al Baron (voted out, Gameday 8)
    21- TehSpectre (killed by Extremists, Gameday 1)
    22- Edcrab (killed by Extremists, Gameday 4)
    23- Infidel (voted out, Gameday 11)
    24- MrBlarney (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 9)
    25- El Skid (killed by Extremists, Gameday 9)
    26- NATIK (voted out, Gameday 4)
    27- Niceguy Myeye (killed by Extremists, Gameday 7)
    28- FunkyWaltDogg (killed by Captain Planet, Gameday 3)
    29- FreeAgent (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 2)
    30- Toxic Toys (kiled by Extremists, Gameday 9)
    31- Exarch (voted out, Gameday 2)
    32- TheLawinator (killed by Extremists, Gameday 5)
    33- Quoth (killed by Extremists, Gameday 7)
    34- Elldren (killed by Extremists, Gameday 1)
    35- Look Out it's Sabs! (voted out, Gameday 12)
    36- Archr5 (voted out, Gameday 5)
    37- thetheroo (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 2)
    38- precisionk (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 4)
    39- Kilroy (killed by Extremists, Gameday 8)
    40- Lignisse (killed by Extremists, Gameday 2)
    41- DamnedLibrarian (killed by Extremists, Gameday 11)
    42- enlightenedbum (killed by Captain Planet, Gameday 3)
    43- evilbob (voted out, Gameday 6)
    44- FrostMist (killed by Extremists, Gameday 6)
    45- stormwind (killed by Extremists, Gameday 8)
    46- Oatway (eliminated for inactivity, Gameday 12)
    47- Dac Vin (killed by Extremists, Gameday 11)
    48- Red Bird (killed by Captain Planet, Gameday 3)
    49- Stew_Stick (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 6)
    50- DevoutlyApathetic (eliminated for inactivity, Gameday 10)
    51- KingMole (killed by Fire ring, Gameday 8)
    52- Wildcat (killed by Fire ring and Extremists, Gameday 10)

    Alternates:
    All gone!

    Contestants to your starting gates.

    NARRATIONS:
    Gameday 1
    Gameday 2
    Gameday 3
    Gameday 4
    Gameday 5
    Gameday 6
    Gameday 7
    Gameday 8
    Gameday 9
    Gameday 10
    Gameday 11
    Gameday 12, Part 1
    Gameday 12, Part 2

    ROLE PM'S:
    1-10
    11-20
    21-30
    31-40
    41-52

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    ohshit yes signup

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    !Sign up, please!

    Wildcat on
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Oh, shit man. I was going to post this today. Beat me to the punch.

    Gorilla Salad on
    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I wasn't going to bother with the next CF game, but that OP and nostalgia has kicked in. Damn you and your momentum indices!

    !Sign up

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    You must select a number before I can seat you.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    In that case give me 28.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Ah, well, my nerdiness demands 42

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
  • iamtheaznmaniamtheaznman Registered User
    edited July 2008
    !sign up as 13 (oh god please don't make me heart)

    iamtheaznman on
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    !sign up as 13 (oh god please don't make me heart)
    Ah, but such is the beauty of selecting your own jersey number. I don't make you anything. You choose your own fate.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • Niceguy MyeyeNiceguy Myeye Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    !sign up as heart(that number is 27)

    Niceguy Myeye on
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    !Sign up as number 32

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • Dac VinDac Vin S-s-screw you! I only listen to DOUBLE MUSIC! Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    !Sign up, number 47!

    Dac Vin on
    CyBmbtG.png QTldVuB.png

  • InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Cmon people, let's do signups properly.

    !EARTH

    Infidel on
    OrokosPA.png
    Play D&D 4e? :: Check out Orokos and upload your Character Builder sheet! :: Orokos Dice Roller
    The PhalLounge :: Chat board for Critical Failures IRC! :: #CriticalFailures and #mafia on irc.slashnet.org
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Infidel wrote: »
    Cmon people, let's do signups properly.

    !EARTH
    They are. You didn't pick a number. Can't seat you till you do.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Niceguy gets it. Pick new number.

    Gorilla Salad on
    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    !Sign up as number 22

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • TehSpectreTehSpectre @PixelateJake on TwitterRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    !Wind (21)

    TehSpectre on
    Sloth_Sig.png
  • InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    (gimme number 23, but you can just randomize/fill those that don't pick ya know)

    (and Quoth knows how we roll)

    (edit: :^: Spec)

    Infidel on
    OrokosPA.png
    Play D&D 4e? :: Check out Orokos and upload your Character Builder sheet! :: Orokos Dice Roller
    The PhalLounge :: Chat board for Critical Failures IRC! :: #CriticalFailures and #mafia on irc.slashnet.org
  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    ELEMENTAL SUPREMACY

    or the ability to make bad guys feel better about themselves

    YOU DECIDE!

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Well, #21 is obviously an extremist position :P

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS
    edited July 2008
    ahmg 12 plz

    Medopine on
  • ThetherooThetheroo Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Sign up with the power of Heart and number 13!

    Thetheroo on
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    enlightenedbum thank you for reminding me of Animaniacs because they are awesome

    Quoth on
  • Dac VinDac Vin S-s-screw you! I only listen to DOUBLE MUSIC! Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Cmon people, let's do signups properly.

    !EARTH
    !Wind (21)
    !FIRE
    BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED I AM wait what is going on there

    Dac Vin on
    CyBmbtG.png QTldVuB.png

  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    It's my current avatar because I'm in the Mafia in the D&D game (good mafia) and our fearless leader demanded Godfather avatars. I couldn't resist tweaking that idea slightly.

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • Toxic ToysToxic Toys Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I !sign up 30!

    Toxic Toys on
    3DS code: 2938-6074-2306, Nintendo Network ID: ToxicToys, PSN: zutto
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    There's one number out there I'm really amused by the prospect of someone selecting for themselves.

    Which one is it?

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I need to finish reading the PM's, but I think I know which one.

    Gorilla Salad on
    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I still say 21, because Spectre is "always evil."

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I would love to Sign Up for #12 please.

    Thanks.

    LaOs on
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    13 got swept up by ToxicToys, thetheroo. I saw that edit.

    You get 37

    Gorilla Salad on
    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • Gorilla SaladGorilla Salad Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    12's taken.

    Gorilla Salad on
    Organichu wrote: »
    The main rub is that, fuck, I'm already paying some to upgrade the length... why not pay a little bit more to upgrade the length AND width?
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    This seems like a good opportunity to break out the colored text.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
  • ThetherooThetheroo Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Wait, Toxic has 30 not 13.

    Thetheroo on
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    LaOs wrote: »
    I would love to Sign Up for #12 please.

    Thanks.

    12's taken.

    Damn you Medopine!!...

    Could I have #3 then, please?

    LaOs on
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Quoth wrote: »
    FWD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

    The power is YOURS!!!

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
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