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Let's Think Up The Worst Possible Super Powers

1235

Posts

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Dayspring wrote: »
    Ejaculating laser beams would be problematic, whether you wanted to fight crime with your power or not.
    Let's go one step further and Cyclops up this power.

    You ejaculate laser beams, and you can't stop. So you have to wear ruby depends for the rest of your life to prevent you from obliterating anything in front of you.

    see317 on
    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • ServoServo Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    ahh, now there's a terrible power for you. you'd be swimming in debt from destroyed bathrooms before a week was out

    Servo on
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  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Servo wrote: »
    ahh, now there's a terrible power for you. you'd be swimming in debt from destroyed bathrooms before a week was out
    Is that REALLY the worst part of the power?

    The Muffin Man on
  • CJTheranCJTheran Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    The ability to heal others would be the WORST power ever.

    RESTO SHAMAN

    CJTheran on
  • ServoServo Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    Servo wrote: »
    ahh, now there's a terrible power for you. you'd be swimming in debt from destroyed bathrooms before a week was out
    Is that REALLY the worst part of the power?

    no

    Servo on
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  • PunkBoyPunkBoy Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Well...if you had the money, you could get diamond toilets in your home/base. At the very least, you'd have the classiest toilets ever.

    As for the other problem...yeah, that would suck a lot.

    PunkBoy on
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  • DayspringDayspring the Phoenician Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Unless you go gay for this guy, and get to have some hot loving and take out a whole team of bad guys at the same time.

    Dayspring on
  • ServoServo Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    the power to cause random plague outbreaks by thinking about or seeing pretty girls

    Servo on
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  • CyvrosCyvros Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Random teleportation. As in completely random. You can end up anywhere at any time.

    Cyvros on
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Bloods End wrote: »
    Burrito vision.

    man, fuck you

    that power sounds delicious

    "BURRITO JOHNSON, WE NEED YOU AT THE STATION IMMEDIATELY!"

    Calamity Jane on
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  • SagaxusSagaxus Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    Bloods End wrote: »
    Burrito vision.

    man, fuck you

    that power sounds delicious

    "BURRITO JOHNSON, WE NEED YOU AT THE STATION IMMEDIATELY!"

    As well as actually useful in combat, getting hit with flaming lava hot burritos could kill a man.

    Sagaxus on
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  • AibynAibyn Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    How about the power to kill a yak? From 200 yards away? With mind bullets!

    How about the power....to move you?





    Sorry, but it had to be done. I regret nothing!

    Aibyn on
    "Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil...prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon..."

    -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)
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  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I think I'm just going to go with this guy.

    dogwelder-intro.jpg

    Yes, that man is about to weld a dog to that other man's face.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    You'd be surprised at how effective the Dog Welder actually was. I'd say that he was one of the most dangerous members of Section Eight (although I guess that's not really saying all that much). The most dangerous was, without a doubt, the Defenestrator:
    Hitman18-06.jpg
    Later on, in combat, the Defenestrator carries a window frame (with, you know, window glass in it), and picks people up and throws them through it.

    If you were to go with ineffectual powers, I'd go with one of the other Section Eight members, Jean de Baton-Baton, who defeats evil with the power of Frenchness.

    Delduwath on
  • Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Dog welding? That's not even a power it's just a... a sick thing.

    Regina Fong on
  • DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    But it gets results.

    As for sick things: Bueno Excelente, another member of Section Eight, is an overweight, balding Latino in an overcoat (with nothing underneath, as far as I can tell) who fights crime with the power of perversion. He's often seen sweating, with his hands under his overcoat. The only thing he ever says is "Bueno", an occasional "Bueno excelente", and lots of creepy chuckling.

    Hitman really was the best thing.

    Delduwath on
  • VirralVirral Registered User
    edited July 2008
    Aibyn wrote: »
    How about the power to kill a yak? From 200 yards away? With mind bullets!

    How about the power....to move you?





    Sorry, but it had to be done. I regret nothing!

    That's telekinesis baby!

    Virral on
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  • CyvrosCyvros Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Delduwath wrote: »
    Later on, in combat, the Defenestrator carries a window frame (with, you know, window glass in it), and picks people up and throws them through it.

    Please tell me that there is a game where you can play as this guy.

    Cyvros on
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    jeepguy wrote: »
    Dog welding? That's not even a power it's just a... a sick thing.
    It's a super power if anything is.
    Do you know how hard it is to weld a dog to anything, let alone a screaming face attached to a body that's trying to run away?

    An average mundane would wind up with a smoking pile of charred puppy and a severly burned perp. But the dog welder actually welds the two together, and that is a super power right there.

    see317 on
    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I discussed this with people once

    Blowing bubbles out of your fingertips was one

    Also, summoning ghost raptor that only you could see and interact with

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Delduwath wrote: »
    But it gets results.

    As for sick things: Bueno Excelente, another member of Section Eight, is an overweight, balding Latino in an overcoat (with nothing underneath, as far as I can tell) who fights crime with the power of perversion. He's often seen sweating, with his hands under his overcoat. The only thing he ever says is "Bueno", an occasional "Bueno excelente", and lots of creepy chuckling.

    Hitman really was the best thing.
    The fact that he may well have 'met' Kyle Rayner just made me D:

    Wildcat on
  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Virral wrote: »
    Aibyn wrote: »
    How about the power to kill a yak? From 200 yards away? With mind bullets!

    How about the power....to move you?





    Sorry, but it had to be done. I regret nothing!

    That's telekinesis, Kyle!
    That's levitation, homes.

    The Muffin Man on
  • EeevilEeevil Registered User
    edited July 2008
    The power to look terrible in spandex

    Eeevil on
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2008
    I imagine that if you lived in the right place, the power to kill a yak 200 yards etc would come in fairly handy
    The middle of NYC? Not so much

    Me Too! on
  • ServoServo Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    it would probably depend on how loosely you could play the definition of "yak"

    Servo on
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  • FaynorFaynor Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Or if 200 yards was a maximum distance, or an exact requirement.

    "Damn it, 180 yards! Move people, I need to back up!"

    Faynor on
    do you wanna see me eat a hotdog
  • CyvrosCyvros Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    The ability to wipe people's memories.

    But this ability invariably backfires.

    Cyvros on
  • Mostlyjoe13Mostlyjoe13 Evil, Evil, Jump for joy! Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I once was playing FASERIP Marvel and had a guy with Shift X Waterbreathing. The way we ruled it he could breath water on other planets.

    Mostlyjoe13 on
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  • DyingfatDyingfat Registered User
    edited July 2008
    The ability to controle snails with your mind.
    "Fly my minions and crush my enemies AAAA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!"

    Dyingfat on
  • DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Cyvros wrote: »
    The ability to wipe people's memories.

    But this ability invariably backfires.

    Well, let's just be more explicit about it: The ability to wipe your own memory.

    I guess after the first time, you'd forget you had the ability to wipe your memory.

    Delduwath on
  • CyvrosCyvros Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Delduwath wrote: »
    Well, let's just be more explicit about it: The ability to wipe your own memory.

    I guess after the first time, you'd forget you had the ability to wipe your memory.
    Yes. Did I also mention that it doesn't need to be deliberately triggered?

    Cyvros on
  • HayasaHayasa Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Having chocolate flavoured snot, but only you can tell its chocolate flavoured.

    Hayasa on
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  • CyvrosCyvros Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Or everyone else can tell it tastes like chocolate, and you're just missing out.

    Doesn't stop you from trying, of course.

    Cyvros on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Hmm

    The ability to stutter nervousely at random

    The Black Hunter on
  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Another one we thought of was the ability to make your poo smell like any person's favorite smell

    So if someone really liked strawberries, your poo would smell like that to them. And also your farts.

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
  • DeicistDeicist Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Ability to nullify superpowers on a huge scale (any superhumans in the same solar system have no access to their powers.)

    You're born as one of the first super humans to appear on your world.

    Because of you, none of the literally hundreds of super-humans born over the course of your life even know they have powers.

    You go to your death bed having lived an utterly insignificant life, being completely ignorant of the marvels you have prevented.

    Deicist on
  • HayasaHayasa Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    But wouldn't the day after you die be spectacular.

    Hayasa on
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  • Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    At what point does it stop being a power and start being a rare disability?

    Robos A Go Go on
  • Mr PinkMr Pink I got cats for youRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Another one we thought of was the ability to make your poo smell like any person's favorite smell

    So if someone really liked strawberries, your poo would smell like that to them. And also your farts.

    I think there was a SNL skit that was close to that once.

    Mr Pink on
  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    The ability to pass wind through an orifice of your choice.

    theSquid on
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