Top researchers at the Hershey’s Advanced Choclateering and Experimentation Laboratory released their startling findings today from years of advanced and highly secretive study of chocolate. The laboratory, located underground in the Nevada desert to avoid spreading dangerous levels of cocoa and chocolately goodness to the outside world, has developed an entirely new kind of chocolate. Scientists have been hush hush about the chocolately delight, but today’s press conference spilled the – cocoa beans, so to speak.
Lead researcher Barry Andrews announced the lab had synthesized a new kind of chocolate, a variety so unstable and dangerous that it was thought to be purely theoretical. The new treat, name Dark Matter Chocolate, is said to be so dark and so rich, that not even light can escape its smooth, delectable surface. The lab produced a candy bar sized chunk of the dark matter chocolate deep within the secretive lab just last week. In order to contain the sheer chocolateliness and rich flavor of the Dark matter chocolate, it was immediately doused in over 10,000 gallons of ice cold milk. Researchers were reportedly excited but cautious about their discovery. Said Barry Andrews:
“We have developed an entirely new paradigm of chocolate – the next dimension of chocolate if you will. What we have locked away in our protective milk vault is a substance which contains more rich, dark chocolate then all of the cocoa beans, candy shops, and chocolate factories in the world. Willy Wonka declared such a substance an impossibility – today I think he has turned over in his chocolate grave.”
The small bar of chocolate, which is reported to weigh over 20,000 tons due to its sheer density and high cocoa content, will change the way the world eats chocolate reported Barry Andrews. The single bar is enough to satiate millions of single women watching Sex in the City. It can simultaneously end the midnight sweet snack craving of billions. Scientists warned of the danger of the chocolate – it’s form was so concentrated, that it kill every dog on earth if unleashed from its milk containment field.
The Dark Matter Chocolate owes its rich flavor to its high cocoa content. While fancy chocolates have approached 80 and even 90% cocoa rates, Dark Matter Chocolate is comprised of over 140% cocoa, a percentage which defies conventional logic and physics. Researchers at the lab slated that the Dark Matter Chocolate would be ready for mass production sometime in the next decade – a move that could forever satisfy humanity’s craving for chocolate – or destroy civilization as we know it.
Very very few things that people do anymore is 'natural'
Says the gay.
I kid because I .
Being gay is natural. The bible says "thou shall not lie with another man"
so as long as you tell the truth and do it standing up you're okay.
Gooey on
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AlectharAlan ShoreWe're not territorial about that sort of thing, are we?Registered Userregular
edited July 2008
I'm not sure about Eddy. I think he might be a part of that "militant gay agenda" that Jesse Helms was telling me about before his hateful old ass finally kicked it. I mean, look at his avatars, he's always fighting the war on something.
How long can it be before he shows his true colors and begins the war on heterosexuality!
In other news, I'm going to steal Gooey's sigbanner and use it elsewhere, because it is cool.
Your entire world is made up of objects (most of them probably man-made if you’re in a town or city — imagine that, a completely manufactured environment!) and you have a couple of senses to feel them out with.
Hey, guys, if I wanted some philosophical arguments from Podly on the nature of the word natural and the inherent merits held by the conclusion reached by those arguments, I would have punched myself in the face for having such a bad idea.
TavIrish Minister for DefenceRegistered Userregular
edited July 2008
Last year when he got the computer, he was hyper conscious about computer safety. I was so offended when he went to my brother first to ask him to install anti-everything software. My brother lived about 30 mins away, and wanted him to come up just to install free software. The only thing my brother said to that was "Gary can double click on icons as well as I can, probably better with all the games he plays. Make him do it and ask him to do your stupid shit from now on" and now my Dad asks me about every little thing.
I was playing WoW once and was just after starting a raid when my Dad wanted me to help him set up a hotmail account. It took 45 mins. I was not in said raid when I returned to the computer.
Posts
*tear*
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Lead researcher Barry Andrews announced the lab had synthesized a new kind of chocolate, a variety so unstable and dangerous that it was thought to be purely theoretical. The new treat, name Dark Matter Chocolate, is said to be so dark and so rich, that not even light can escape its smooth, delectable surface. The lab produced a candy bar sized chunk of the dark matter chocolate deep within the secretive lab just last week. In order to contain the sheer chocolateliness and rich flavor of the Dark matter chocolate, it was immediately doused in over 10,000 gallons of ice cold milk. Researchers were reportedly excited but cautious about their discovery. Said Barry Andrews:
“We have developed an entirely new paradigm of chocolate – the next dimension of chocolate if you will. What we have locked away in our protective milk vault is a substance which contains more rich, dark chocolate then all of the cocoa beans, candy shops, and chocolate factories in the world. Willy Wonka declared such a substance an impossibility – today I think he has turned over in his chocolate grave.”
The small bar of chocolate, which is reported to weigh over 20,000 tons due to its sheer density and high cocoa content, will change the way the world eats chocolate reported Barry Andrews. The single bar is enough to satiate millions of single women watching Sex in the City. It can simultaneously end the midnight sweet snack craving of billions. Scientists warned of the danger of the chocolate – it’s form was so concentrated, that it kill every dog on earth if unleashed from its milk containment field.
The Dark Matter Chocolate owes its rich flavor to its high cocoa content. While fancy chocolates have approached 80 and even 90% cocoa rates, Dark Matter Chocolate is comprised of over 140% cocoa, a percentage which defies conventional logic and physics. Researchers at the lab slated that the Dark Matter Chocolate would be ready for mass production sometime in the next decade – a move that could forever satisfy humanity’s craving for chocolate – or destroy civilization as we know it.
Absolutely not.
Yes.
Edit: Church is objectively wrong.
Steam | Twitter
Yes. Yes it is.
You fucking deviant.
Battle.net
Says the gay.
Steam | Twitter
none are natural. It's a pretty meaningless statement.
Being gay is natural. The bible says "thou shall not lie with another man"
so as long as you tell the truth and do it standing up you're okay.
How long can it be before he shows his true colors and begins the war on heterosexuality!
In other news, I'm going to steal Gooey's sigbanner and use it elsewhere, because it is cool.
Battle.net
Steam | Twitter
No coincidence that "unnatural" is used so similarly to "wrong".
Worth reading the post, by the by.
And usually by people who make no study of "nature."
Steam | Twitter
Much like "wrong" is often used by people who make no study of morality.
Hey. Hey. I don't post in [chat] for the philosophy, okay? Dumb it down.
Battle.net
I just wanted some opinions on pepper. Damn.
Damn.
rabblerabble
Steam | Twitter
If you think about it, all we're really doing is calling philosophers gits.
At least, that's what I'm doing.
What?
Steam | Twitter
I think you're both just making up words.
Steam | Twitter
He was using IE and clicked an ad for a free Anti-virus.
I'm really not sure why I didn't remove his computer from the wireless connection months ago :?
I'm not sure why you let this man on the internet. That's like letting your 3 year old run around in a busy street.
Battle.net
it's fun to rile him up about it.
Well Played...
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I was playing WoW once and was just after starting a raid when my Dad wanted me to help him set up a hotmail account. It took 45 mins. I was not in said raid when I returned to the computer.
It’s been nice