[chat]aholics annonymous

Zen Vulgarity

TQILA

Greeper

It's for the best.

I'm in no condition to be witty.

neither is Zen apparently.

Senjutsu

I think somebody needs an Intervention

Zen Vulgarity

hey

hay

gck you greps

and the hore you roge in on

Screampunk

This may be the best chat yet.

Zen Vulgarity

see
set thia ig wht i love tehspectre

but i was suppsed to be youlre santa and i had no money

fcuk

im lkie a thrd world secret sanya

Greeper

like you could even try to gck me.

Zen Vulgarity

youtt lke what 15/

that
s younh enouh gor ]edojoler

Screampunk

I forgive you, Zen.

Maybe next time.

Senjutsu

third world satans send pleas for food and penicilin

Church

To: Human Resources, Armdale Tea Room
Re: Dishwasher (Casual)

I am writing to apply for the position of "Dishwasher (Casual)" because, let's face it, dishwashing isn't a career. I'm not going to sit up all night and worry about the stats on my quarterly dishwashing report. I want to show up for my shift, wash gross half-eaten food off plates for a few hours, and then go home. It sounds like the sort of job that I don't even need to think about while I'm doing it. I can think about weird sex things or about what if zombies were racist, would they not eat you if they hated the colour of your skin? Would you be safe? Or would they eat you out of spite? I need to make a few extra dollars to pay rent, to buy groceries. I don't want to have to care what your company stands for, or try and make myself sound like some kind of inhuman perfect employee.

It's like meeting girls. A relationship is just another kind of job, isn't it. In the beginning you pretend to be that perfect employee. You lie in the interview and then you do your best for a while. You never step out of line. You always wait until you go home to use the bathroom if it's number two. You shave and brush your teeth every day. When you're kissing you never pull out the pen and write "whore" on her body unexpectedly. You behave. But how long can that go on before you start going crazy? You have to be yourself. That's why it's called being yourself.

And soon you start slipping up. You think, "Oh, I'll just use the bathroom a little bit. Just a bit of a number two, to hold me over until I get home." You start chewing gum just before you see her, because you forgot to brush today. You find yourself writing, "who" on her confused face, and you scramble for a weak explanation. "Oh, I just didn't want to forget to look something up, later. Who, uh... Who played the girl in The Apartment? Was it Shirley MacLaine?"

In the end it never works out. You are who you are, no matter what you pretend at the beginning. So I'm not pretending. I drink to ignore my problems. I spend more time with my computer than with my friends. I don't have a very good relationship with women. I am angry and lonely, but I can wash dishes just fine. I'm being honest. Please don't be an asshole about this.

Zen Vulgarity

fck penicilian

they need condons

lots of fckinl goin; on

Elki

That's enough drunk-posting, for tonight. *kibosh*

Zen Vulgarity

whau tha fuck chrch

that lonh blov\\ck of tevt at 1 in tha morning

the uck is wronh witj you

Church

Zen Vulgarity wrote: »

whau tha fuck chrch

that lonh blov\\ck of tevt at 1 in tha morning

the uck is wronh witj you

It's two in the morning.

Senjutsu

Church wrote: »

To: Human Resources, Armdale Tea Room
Re: Dishwasher (Casual)

I am writing to apply for the position of "Dishwasher (Casual)" because, let's face it, dishwashing isn't a career. I'm not going to sit up all night and worry about the stats on my quarterly dishwashing report. I want to show up for my shift, wash gross half-eaten food off plates for a few hours, and then go home. It sounds like the sort of job that I don't even need to think about while I'm doing it. I can think about weird sex things or about what if zombies were racist, would they not eat you if they hated the colour of your skin? Would you be safe? Or would they eat you out of spite? I need to make a few extra dollars to pay rent, to buy groceries. I don't want to have to care what your company stands for, or try and make myself sound like some kind of inhuman perfect employee.

It's like meeting girls. A relationship is just another kind of job, isn't it. In the beginning you pretend to be that perfect employee. You lie in the interview and then you do your best for a while. You never step out of line. You always wait until you go home to use the bathroom if it's number two. You shave and brush your teeth every day. When you're kissing you never pull out the pen and write "whore" on her body unexpectedly. You behave. But how long can that go on before you start going crazy? You have to be yourself. That's why it's called being yourself.

And soon you start slipping up. You think, "Oh, I'll just use the bathroom a little bit. Just a bit of a number two, to hold me over until I get home." You start chewing gum just before you see her, because you forgot to brush today. You find yourself writing, "who" on her confused face, and you scramble for a weak explanation. "Oh, I just didn't want to forget to look something up, later. Who, uh... Who played the girl in The Apartment? Was it Shirley MacLaine?"

In the end it never works out. You are who you are, no matter what you pretend at the beginning. So I'm not pretending. I drink to ignore my problems. I spend more time with my computer than with my friends. I don't have a very good relationship with women. I am angry and lonely, but I can wash dishes just fine. I'm being honest. Please don't be an asshole about this.

Overqualified.

Church

Senjutsu wrote: »

Church wrote: »

To: Human Resources, Armdale Tea Room
Re: Dishwasher (Casual)

I am writing to apply for the position of "Dishwasher (Casual)" because, let's face it, dishwashing isn't a career. I'm not going to sit up all night and worry about the stats on my quarterly dishwashing report. I want to show up for my shift, wash gross half-eaten food off plates for a few hours, and then go home. It sounds like the sort of job that I don't even need to think about while I'm doing it. I can think about weird sex things or about what if zombies were racist, would they not eat you if they hated the colour of your skin? Would you be safe? Or would they eat you out of spite? I need to make a few extra dollars to pay rent, to buy groceries. I don't want to have to care what your company stands for, or try and make myself sound like some kind of inhuman perfect employee.

It's like meeting girls. A relationship is just another kind of job, isn't it. In the beginning you pretend to be that perfect employee. You lie in the interview and then you do your best for a while. You never step out of line. You always wait until you go home to use the bathroom if it's number two. You shave and brush your teeth every day. When you're kissing you never pull out the pen and write "whore" on her body unexpectedly. You behave. But how long can that go on before you start going crazy? You have to be yourself. That's why it's called being yourself.

And soon you start slipping up. You think, "Oh, I'll just use the bathroom a little bit. Just a bit of a number two, to hold me over until I get home." You start chewing gum just before you see her, because you forgot to brush today. You find yourself writing, "who" on her confused face, and you scramble for a weak explanation. "Oh, I just didn't want to forget to look something up, later. Who, uh... Who played the girl in The Apartment? Was it Shirley MacLaine?"

In the end it never works out. You are who you are, no matter what you pretend at the beginning. So I'm not pretending. I drink to ignore my problems. I spend more time with my computer than with my friends. I don't have a very good relationship with women. I am angry and lonely, but I can wash dishes just fine. I'm being honest. Please don't be an asshole about this.

Over-qualified.

Da. It's pretty much the best thing ever.

Zen Vulgarity

its 2?

shti

Church

Zen Vulgarity wrote: »

its 2?

shti

Go home, Grandma.

You're drunk.

Zen Vulgarity

I am nto drnk

i'p'm happy1

see317

Church wrote: »

Zen Vulgarity wrote: »

its 2?

shti

Go home, Grandma.

You're drunk.

Not to your home though Grandma.
You're coming home with me.:winky:

Zen Vulgarity

holy shti there;s eyes in da box runnnnnnnnnnnn

Senjutsu

step 1: cut two holes in a box

Incenjucar

Senjutsu wrote: »

step 1: cut two holes in a box

On the same side or on different sides?

Zen Vulgarity

ste] two: put dick in boz

its mah dck in a box

Church

see317 wrote: »

Church wrote: »

Zen Vulgarity wrote: »

its 2?

shti

Go home, Grandma.

You're drunk.

Not to your home though Grandma.
You're coming home with me.:winky:

Don't you feel guilty that you're attracted to the elderly? Senior citizens are more at risk of illness, injury, or even death, than any other demographic of the population. I mean, ask a doctor. They will all tell you that being old just is not healthy. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should seek professional help.

Zen Vulgarity

oh fck

se==

whats goin on therr

Kagera

Why must stupid songs like this be popular?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAp9BKosZXs

I mean, I know being a pop musician nowadays is about being an attention whore but for christ's sake this gets on my nerves something fierce.

Incenjucar

You know, Loren is a nice guy, and I would totally hang out with him, but if he was ever in a position to decide policy, I'm pretty sure I would have to have him replaced with someone suitably cynical.

--

Kagera: I love that song. But all my girlfriends and exes and close friends are/have been bisexual.

Also I like kissing girls.

And she has a kitty!

Also I want to see a gay dude sing that song.

--

That said, those girls who kiss girls just to attract guys are gross.

Zen Vulgarity

im storry

thay video suckz soo bad its no longer on

see317

Church wrote: »

see317 wrote: »

Church wrote: »

Zen Vulgarity wrote: »

its 2?

shti

Go home, Grandma.

You're drunk.

Not to your home though Grandma.
You're coming home with me.:winky:

Don't you feel guilty that you're attracted to the elderly? Senior citizens are more at risk of illness, injury, or even death, than any other demographic of the population. I mean, ask a doctor. They will all tell you that being old just is not healthy. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should seek professional help.

They're also more likely to put you in the will after a good roll in the hay.

Look, I'm not saying I'm proud of what I do. I'm just saying it'll pay off in the long run.

Senjutsu

Incenjucar wrote: »

Senjutsu wrote: »

step 1: cut two holes in a box

On the same side or on different sides?

If you have any questions or concerns about these instructions, call our toll-free Global Help Line at 1-877-345-4532

Incenjucar

I do agree the video sucks.

--

Senj: All I got was a recording of Fapfapfapfapfapfap. And it was on repeat.

Church

see317 wrote: »

They're also more likely to put you in the will after a good roll in the hay.

Look, I'm not saying I'm proud of what I do. I'm just saying it'll pay off in the long run.

Just to be safe, you get the joke, right?

Incenjucar

There needs to be a system that allows a user to shut down their account for a night so they don't drunk post.

Wonder_Hippie

Or drunk report as awesome. Because I just did.

God I hope everybody else thinks it's as funny as I did.

Screampunk

Way to get banned, Zen.

see317

Church wrote: »

see317 wrote: »

They're also more likely to put you in the will after a good roll in the hay.

Look, I'm not saying I'm proud of what I do. I'm just saying it'll pay off in the long run.

Just to be safe, you get the joke, right?

I avoid reading Windbit's H/A threads. That way only lies madness.

Now, let's go back to talking about octogenariaphilia. Cause there aint no party like an 80+ party...

Wonder_Hippie

God, this Katy Perry shit is positively terrible.

Incenjucar

So hey I guess this means I have an opening for my D&D game.

Church

see317 wrote: »

Church wrote: »

see317 wrote: »

They're also more likely to put you in the will after a good roll in the hay.

Look, I'm not saying I'm proud of what I do. I'm just saying it'll pay off in the long run.

Just to be safe, you get the joke, right?

I avoid reading Windbit's H/A threads. That way only lies madness.

Now, let's go back to talking about octogenariaphilia. Cause there aint no party like an 80+ party...

You and Zen should get together after he sobers up.

Or before. Both have potential for hilarity.