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Family obligations suck

13

Posts

  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Fallout, I love you. Come back to portland and lets hang out.

    okay!

    portland owns

    Fallout on
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  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    so here's a question

    let's say a close relative with obligations as parents or caregivers etc is diagnosed with a disease

    let's say this disease will kill them within a few short if they don't get treated

    and let's say that the treatment is very non-invasive and relatively simple, like taking a handful of pills every morning with minimal to no interference in other aspects of life

    finally, let's say that person refuses to get treated for reasons akin to "they just don't feel like it"

    being that person's kid, how's that make you feel?

    being that person's spouse, how's that make you feel?

    Vixx on
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  • bowlofpetuniasbowlofpetunias Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    to answer both questions: angry

    bowlofpetunias on
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    As a parent it is their obligation to maintain their health so they can take care of their kids. Even as a child I understood that my parents had an obligation to care for me until I was an adult. If my parents did this to me I would get extraordinarily pissed. To me it seems that they are shirking their responsibility to their children because they are fantastic cunts - that is the only way I can feel about it.

    If you're a bus driver you make sure you have a license. If you're a chef you make sure you sanitize your hands. If you're a parent you sure as shit take your Goddamned medicine. Refusing treatment in this case represents a failure to behave as a functioning and responsible member of a society.

    If I were the person's spouse I'd probably scream at them for being self centered. A simple, noninvasive treatment? You have no reason not to take it. At that point you're fucking insane.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • WileyWiley In the dirt.Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I would have to think about making sure they weren't bat shit insane. If they were deficient mentally I would take the necessary steps to enforce their treatment.

    Wiley on
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  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    I don't know. No treatment is 100% effective and perhaps they're concerned that it won't significantly extend their lifespan while reducing their quality of life. I don't know what you're talking about because you were intentionally vague, but my father chose not to pursue chemo when he found out he had cancer.

    Druhim on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    This thread has taken a turn for the very depressing.

    Fandyien on
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  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I feel like as a the person's kid, I'd be torn between wanting my parent to live their life as they saw fit, as it is their life and not mine, and the desire to want them around. This becomes especially true as I hit adulthood. Do I want to let my parents live their life how they want being that they just spend the last twenty years taking care of me? Or do I value their presence more than that?

    As a spouse, I think I'd be infinitely more upset, just because in the case of such a relationship, your lives are intertwined and you can't really "go it solo." Sacrifices and compromises were made on both sides to make the (presumably functional and stable) relationship work, and to throw in the towel and walk away from your spouse after all that seems very cowardly. For myself, it would be selfish of me to think so, but I would be lost without the other person around, simply because, as mentioned, I'm half of a two-man team and my life was built around being with that other person.

    And yeah, Dru, I was intentionally vague so as to encourage people to sort of think of various scenarios and such.

    Vixx on
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  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Moriveth's a redneck.

    No, I got there late, there were lots of people, every seat was taken up, so I had to stand out in the sun.

    So you turned into a redneck.

    Defender on
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    I don't know. No treatment is 100% effective and perhaps they're concerned that it won't significantly extend their lifespan while reducing their quality of life. I don't know what you're talking about because you were intentionally vague, but my father chose not to pursue chemo when he found out he had cancer.

    If its as simple as a few pills, you should feel a responsibility to pursue treatment. Chemo can be ugly, and for that reason, I don't feel anybody should feel obligated to choose it. Thats a far bigger choice than a capsule and water every meal.

    Also when I thought of the word "kid" I thought of somebody like... 7 years old.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    few life threatening conditions can be treated effectively with just a regimen of pills that apparently don't have any significant side effects, so I'm really curious what viv is talking about
    not that you're in any way obligated to sate my curiosity

    Druhim on
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  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Defender wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Moriveth's a redneck.

    No, I got there late, there were lots of people, every seat was taken up, so I had to stand out in the sun.

    So you turned into a redneck.

    Exactly. Learn to differentiate.

    Moriveth on
  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Defender wrote: »
    Moriveth's a redneck.

    No, I got there late, there were lots of people, every seat was taken up, so I had to stand out in the sun.

    So you turned into a redneck.

    Exactly. Learn to differentiate.

    So now, you're a redneck.

    Defender on
  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    few life threatening conditions can be treated effectively with just a regimen of pills that apparently don't have any significant side effects, so I'm really curious what viv is talking about
    not that you're in any way obligated to sate my curiosity
    Antibiotics usually don't have any significant side effects and can have a pretty huge effect on certain diseases.

    Gafoto on
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  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Guys am I insane for expecting people to behave certain ways based on an arcane sense of responsibility and obligation?

    Like, even to the point of a burgeoning sense of noblesse oblige to which I hold myself accountable?

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Stop having expectations of people Volyu, that'll screw you every time.

    Gafoto on
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  • WileyWiley In the dirt.Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Expectations just fuck things up.

    Wiley on
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  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Well, uh, Goddamn.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Guys am I insane for expecting people to behave certain ways based on an arcane sense of responsibility and obligation?

    Like, even to the point of a burgeoning sense of noblesse oblige to which I hold myself accountable?

    I think you're just not an asshole.

    Framling on
    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I am totally an asshole.

    I'm just very selective about who I go after.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • cheshirecheshire Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I never see my mom's side of the family and I don't see my dad's side of the family if I can help it. They are all a bunch of drunks and I like to stay away from that.

    I really only see my mom, my sister and my brother and his family. We hang out with my sister in law's family a lot.

    I took my niece to the science center today, I was thinking of posting some of the pics I took.

    cheshire on
    She was never meant to be a common creature
    Extraordinary takes time
  • JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    you should always hold people accountable to the same degree you hold yourself.

    Javen on
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Javen wrote: »
    you should always hold people accountable to the same degree you hold yourself.

    Those are some ridiculous standards to hold others to, in my case.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    I absolutely disagree with Javen. I don't think it's at all fair to expect others to live by my standards that they usually aren't even aware of. To me that speaks of an inability to appreciate other people's point of view and an unyielding belief that you know best. Which honestly, is horse shit.

    Druhim on
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  • RinderRinder Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    That seems like a good way to isolate yourself.
    I'd end up being the biggest asshole ever if I did that.

    Rinder on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    there is no reason to expect any other person on the planet to adhere to any sort of standard whatsoever

    Fallout on
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  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I love Dru for loving me even though I want to gay-marry my pets. <3

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I have no family (other than parents) no closer than like... 10000 miles away, so even less obligations for me. And my parents never make me do anything these days, now that I am an "adult". And I have no siblings.

    So uh... not really, no.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    I do love you Volu

    As long as you abide by the restraining order my dog filed against you after that unfortunate incident

    Druhim on
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  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    I do love you Volu

    As long as you abide by the restraining order my dog filed against you after that unfortunate incident

    That "signature" could have been any dog's pawprint.

    I've already filed my appeal.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • eric.eric. __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2008
    half my large (immigrant) family hates us and apparently hates each other and themselves, so we don't do much with them.

    yeah.

    :D

    eric. on
  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Campion wrote: »
    Wiley wrote: »
    Tell off color jokes about pedophiles around the parents, you won't have to worry about being invited next year. Also I hate any kinda obligation, because I am the laziest fucker around.

    I've got some good ones for that idea.

    The pedophile was sent to jail, not for pedophilia, but for
    Excessive violets

    I don't get it

    Off color joke hyuk hyuk hyuk.

    Campion on
    4484-7718-8470
  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    This might be a cultural thing but I get all :( when I read about people not wanting to be close to their families. (Regardless of physical distance, that is.)

    Then again I guess I'm lucky that I have a relatively stable family.

    Vixx on
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  • FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    My sister is really cool, but she's literally on the other side of the country (NYC).

    My mom was really cool, but she died.

    My dad's crazy, and he's 1500 miles away.

    Framling on
    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
  • cheshirecheshire Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I am very close to my mom, brother and sister. After my dad died his family wanted nothing to do with us. I still talk to one or two of my cousins but that is only every once in a while.

    cheshire on
    She was never meant to be a common creature
    Extraordinary takes time
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    i have a large extended family thanks to a few deaths or divorces and the subsequent remarriages

    i know some of them decently at best

    i never hung out with my cousins even when i lived with them

    i don't think i've ever had a real conversation with my brother or sister

    Fallout on
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  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I love my family but I am glad I do not live near them anymore

    I am looking forward to and dreading the week I plan to spend with them in equal measure

    Kuribo's Shoe on
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  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    This might be a cultural thing but I get all :( when I read about people not wanting to be close to their families. (Regardless of physical distance, that is.)

    Then again I guess I'm lucky that I have a relatively stable family.

    I would love to be close to my family

    if they weren't all fucking assholes.

    sarukun on
  • RinderRinder Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I love my mom but she has PTSD which makes her an emotional wreck.
    My dad is a good guy but is emotionally distant a lot of the time.
    My sister was a good person but drugs I think have damaged her brain and now she is just a mess.
    Grandparents on both sides are wonderful and I love seeing them as much as I can.

    Rinder on
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    That is like the polar opposite of my family.


    My parents and sister are the only sane people in my family


    my dad's uncle used to be on that list but he literally has alzhiemer's now, so it's difficult to have meaningful experiences with him any more.

    sarukun on
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