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Funny how things present themselves at the worst times (Girl Thread)
GreasyKidsStuff
MOMMM!ROAST BEEF WANTS TO KISS GIRLS ON THE TITTIES!Registered User regular
MOMMM!ROAST BEEF WANTS TO KISS GIRLS ON THE TITTIES!Registered User regular
So I'm in a bit of a situation right now, and I'm hoping I can get some advice from people who aren't involved in any of it. Let's start from the beginning.
Last night, I went to a girl's (for the purpose of this thread we will call her Lauren) house with some other friends, two girls and a guy (again, for the purpose of this thread, we'll call them Valerie, Betty, and Jim). Basically we were just gonna drink the night away and have a fun time.
About an hour and a half into our extravaganza, all of us except Jim are rather tipsy, and we realize that WE ARE GONNA RUN OUT OF ALCOHOL. Somebody's gotta go get some! So we send Jim, the sober one, and the only one who can drive, with Lauren and Valerie to the liquor store, about a ten minute drive.
I am left with Betty. Now here's where the backstory comes in. Betty and I are super tight friends, and we've always had a sort of chemistry with each other. Any feelings we may have had for each other stayed pretty well under wraps (I guess neither of us thought it was a possibility). But those feelings have always been there (for me at least, I learned last night it was the same for her), even when we've been with other people. Again, they just stayed buried.
So here we are, drunk, and I'm yelling at her to stop playing with the damn iPod speakers and come sit on the couch with me. Eventually she does, and I begin to be all brave and try and get close for... well I don't really know what I was going for. I think that whole night I knew something might happen, and kind of wanted it to happen. These last few weeks some stuff has gone on with her that has led me to suspect ulterior motives :P
Where was I? Oh right. So anyways, I can't quite remember the details, but after some flirting, we ended up making out. Like... this wasn't nervous first time kissing kind of garbage, it was pretty full-on tongue-down-my-throat making out.
The friends come back, we are apart in an instant, but not fast enough for Valerie to not notice. She fuckin' comes up and high fives both of us (she told me later she totally knew it was gonna happen). Betty and I just play it cool and let the night continue.
Later, after some more fun and adventures with alcohol, Betty and I end up making out again, only in front of everyone. Aaaaaaaaand then everyone kind of made out with everyone on the floor (it was quite the night). This is when Betty and I left for somewhere more private, and we ended up on a couch in the basement where basically I went from a guy who had no experience with women at all to "Holy flying shit, she's not wearing her shirt or her bra". Yeah. Funny how things happen.
After that, we ended up just cuddling on teh couch, and I told her that I hoped what happened meant something. She told me it did. And there was some other romantic blah blah blah. Fell asleep.
Woke up the next morning, and things were fine. She had no qualms with lying there next to me, it was quite wonderful to be perfectly honest.
SO IT LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE GOING PRETTY GOOD I'D SAY, RIGHT? Here's the problem.
She's leaving to go live in Peru for six months. In less than 4 weeks. Fuck my life and it's shitty timing.
I heard today from Valerie, having talked to Betty at work, that everything that happened last night was the real deal. Betty really really likes me, I really really like her, but there is that little issue of her going away for six months. Here's where I come to you guys.
I really don't know what the best way to do this is. I don't wanna just drop it and say we can't act on this cuz she's leaving, but it'd be so hard to let the relationship escalate and then have to be put on hold while she leaves
And when she gets back, what then? Do I just wait for her? Shit!
Tl;dr: Ended up hooking up with a girl I've always liked, she likes me back, but she's going away for half a fuckin' year in less then a month.
Last night, I went to a girl's (for the purpose of this thread we will call her Lauren) house with some other friends, two girls and a guy (again, for the purpose of this thread, we'll call them Valerie, Betty, and Jim). Basically we were just gonna drink the night away and have a fun time.
About an hour and a half into our extravaganza, all of us except Jim are rather tipsy, and we realize that WE ARE GONNA RUN OUT OF ALCOHOL. Somebody's gotta go get some! So we send Jim, the sober one, and the only one who can drive, with Lauren and Valerie to the liquor store, about a ten minute drive.
I am left with Betty. Now here's where the backstory comes in. Betty and I are super tight friends, and we've always had a sort of chemistry with each other. Any feelings we may have had for each other stayed pretty well under wraps (I guess neither of us thought it was a possibility). But those feelings have always been there (for me at least, I learned last night it was the same for her), even when we've been with other people. Again, they just stayed buried.
So here we are, drunk, and I'm yelling at her to stop playing with the damn iPod speakers and come sit on the couch with me. Eventually she does, and I begin to be all brave and try and get close for... well I don't really know what I was going for. I think that whole night I knew something might happen, and kind of wanted it to happen. These last few weeks some stuff has gone on with her that has led me to suspect ulterior motives :P
Where was I? Oh right. So anyways, I can't quite remember the details, but after some flirting, we ended up making out. Like... this wasn't nervous first time kissing kind of garbage, it was pretty full-on tongue-down-my-throat making out.
The friends come back, we are apart in an instant, but not fast enough for Valerie to not notice. She fuckin' comes up and high fives both of us (she told me later she totally knew it was gonna happen). Betty and I just play it cool and let the night continue.
Later, after some more fun and adventures with alcohol, Betty and I end up making out again, only in front of everyone. Aaaaaaaaand then everyone kind of made out with everyone on the floor (it was quite the night). This is when Betty and I left for somewhere more private, and we ended up on a couch in the basement where basically I went from a guy who had no experience with women at all to "Holy flying shit, she's not wearing her shirt or her bra". Yeah. Funny how things happen.
After that, we ended up just cuddling on teh couch, and I told her that I hoped what happened meant something. She told me it did. And there was some other romantic blah blah blah. Fell asleep.
Woke up the next morning, and things were fine. She had no qualms with lying there next to me, it was quite wonderful to be perfectly honest.
SO IT LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE GOING PRETTY GOOD I'D SAY, RIGHT? Here's the problem.
She's leaving to go live in Peru for six months. In less than 4 weeks. Fuck my life and it's shitty timing.
I heard today from Valerie, having talked to Betty at work, that everything that happened last night was the real deal. Betty really really likes me, I really really like her, but there is that little issue of her going away for six months. Here's where I come to you guys.
I really don't know what the best way to do this is. I don't wanna just drop it and say we can't act on this cuz she's leaving, but it'd be so hard to let the relationship escalate and then have to be put on hold while she leaves
And when she gets back, what then? Do I just wait for her? Shit!Tl;dr: Ended up hooking up with a girl I've always liked, she likes me back, but she's going away for half a fuckin' year in less then a month.
GreasyKidsStuff on
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Either way, it's much easier to say than to do.
You can try the long distance thing, but that is very hit or miss. You can also try and wait, but she might not, and who's to say you two will feel the same way about each other when she gets back?
Take it as it goes.
I'm gonna talk to her tomorrow and we will hopefully sort this out.
Failing that, I suggest, if you really care for her, you tell her so. Enjoy a great relationship with her for the next few weeks, then tell her to have fun in Peru and that you can't wait to see her again when she gets back. Maybe trade emails and write her often. It's not like she's going to Peru for ever and ever.
She's coming back. Wait for her.
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
Shogun Streams Vidya
And I've regretted it ever since. Seriously, go for it man. The only real chance I'll have to hang out with her will be a week in which I might be able to make, depending if I can get the time off work or if I'll even be able to afford the trip back. Go for it.
That would be hillarious. And possibly make for a poor teen movie.
Anyway, fuck it man, go for it. You said you haven't had much experience with women so nows your chance to increase your ability and confidence which will only serve to help you in later life. Plus it's with a close friend so something even better could come of it.
So yeah man, go for it.
Now that she's back, the've been living happily together in their own house with their newborn daughter.
So, really, just wait it out. It's totally doable.
14 months apart (school)
3 months apart (her doing research)
3 months apart (me getting visa)
None of it is easy to begin with. But it gets easier as you get into it and realise that like doesn't stop. If you're serious about it, you can probably call her quite regularly on Skype. Skype pretty much saved our relationship.
I agree that you should do what you can while she's here, and play it by ear. Make sure you're on the same page as others have said. Also the Skype thing is a good idea. Unlike if she would be going to Europe, Asia, or Australia your time zones will be similar, so it shouldn't be hard to chat every couple of days before bed, or whatever.
Long distances are completely workable, especially if they're of limited duration, but you want those things hammered out in person before she leaves. And if you can't come to an agreement on those sorts of things, then maybe this isn't the right idea for the two of you. The last thing I'd want to see is another thread in this forum three months down the road with you worrying about her fidelity, or the stability of the relationship.
Really the only downside I see here is that with only a month to move things along (and likely a busy month for her as she's off to another country), you may find it difficult to create a strong enough connection for you and her to feel confident in. If things don't seem shiny, there's no harm in a six month "let's see where we are" break.
But I digress, OP, appreciate the time you have left with the girl. There's absolutely no need to get too attached right now as six months is a long time (and terribly short, as well). Not to say long distance relationships don't work, but it's absolutely a strain on both the romantic side of things, and the friendship itself. Keep things casual, it's much simpler for everyone involved. I'm sure she'll appreciate not feeling pressured to make something work in such little time.
Others may disagree with me on this, and I will say there is no right party, but I'd suggest not waiting for someone that is going to be gone for half a year. Your friend is going to be in a new country (as far as I know) with new people, no matter how close she may be to you, I doubt that she'll put her life on pause for you - you shouldn't either.
Stay in touch, be friends, appreciate the little time you have now for some casual fun but don't get attached in the moment. When she returns in six months, if you're both single and willing, pick it up then.
6 months isn't that bad though, these 3 times I've managed to pull that shit the people in question were gone for closer to a year.
I wouldn't recommend trying to maintain any sort of long-distance romantic relationship during that time, they don't work at all in my experience.
Keep in touch , but don't let it be(come) a burden for either of you.
My boyfriend and I were two classes apart in college, so he graduated and moved away two years before I could. It was tough, though I don't think I ever had to go 6 months in a row without seeing him, since we visited each other a few times a year. Don't worry about the six months. It will be tough, especially since you say you've had no experience with women, so this is probably your first serious relationship, but it will be over eventually. I don't think something that is, in the grand scheme of things, a minor inconvenience should stop you from entering into a relationship with her.
This sounds like the beginning of a great story to tell your friends one day.
For maximum emotional health, do something for yourself during those six months. Travel. Volunteer. Do something new. You don't want her coming back and telling you about the amazing things she did and all the personal growth she experienced, while you sat at home and kept up with the latest reality shows.
You seem to really like each other, so I think it have a good chance of working out for you guys