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Weird roommates?
Scrumptious
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm just going to cut to the chase.
In my school system, their's a week-long "camp", (Not really a camp, it's like being at college for a week.) for students gifted in the arts. So, I nearly shit myself when I was accepted, and it had to be the best experience of my life. Except for one little thing.
My room-mate.
I'm hope anyone in college never had, or will have this experience.
I walk into the main hall, fresh faced and doe-eyed. 'This fucking rocks.' I thought. 'No parents, man. For a week.' and soon wedge my way into the social circle of another school, (All in performing arts.), since I was the only one from my school going, besides someone I barely knew the name of, I had to find a group to stick with. Noone wants to be a loner for a week.
Soon, they all start assigning us rooms. I didn't want to be a little self-inviting ass, so, I decided to get a random room-mate, instead of going with the group from the other school. Biggest mistake of my life.
I grab my suitcase, and head on up to the third floor.
Wait.
My door's open. My room-mate's already inside.
I walk in. He looks Philipino. Black hair, rat-tail, short, and his posture resembles that of a midget. His eyes are...odd. The ends of his eyelids are folded out, and he has a souless stare. He's wearing a tye-dye shirt and grey sweatpants, with a see-thru pouch hanging off his neck, with all of his money, and his driver's license inside. He had to be 16, if not older. I quickly greet him, and shake his hand. Let's call him Ed. I tell him my name, and claim my bed next to the window, overlooking the grim forest surrounding the building.
Some part of my mind tells me that I'm majorly fucked.
I eat with the same group as before. They're really good people, but alot of them are in there final year of high-school, so more than likely, this is the only week I'll know these people. Another part of my mind tells me that I could have roomed with any of these people, and I should have. I'm done eating dinner, so I say good night to everyone, and go off to my room. I was in a bus for 6 hours. I was exhausted. The door is slightly ajar. Oh no. The same part of my mind tells me to turn back.
Now.
I knock on the door.
Nothing.
I open the door. CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
At this point in time, I should inform you that the shower is located in front of the door, and has a fucking shower-curtain obviously placed on the shower railing.
He's nekked. Bare. He lacks clothes at this current time. My eyes fucking burn. I think I saw the antichrist. He puts on one of those fucking surprised, "Oh, whoops!" acts on. Most of you would say, that I was being immature. This is an exception. He intended for me to see that. It's okay when you're in the shower room with the rest of the football team, but this? No.
I scream an obscenity out loud, adding: "There's a showercurtain and a doorlock for a reason!" He throws on clothes, without a hint of embarresment. I go to sleep.
I'm going to cut to the chase.
It's the 7th day. I'm half dead from craining my neck over a Macbook for 5 hours. He's under the belief that I am out cold, and begins talking to himself. Talking to himself. All of his shit is meticulously labled. He picks up his CD player: "Ed...that's a cool name." At this point, I'm staring at the wall in disbelief. He's starts spewing complete sentences. Not lyrics. These were sentences made up on the spot. He was talking. I fall asleep. It's a few hours later, and I feel a breath on my neck. The fucker is leaning over me. He's leaning over me. I quickly coughed, and he dived for his bed. Making the loudest fucking commotion ever.
It's the next morning. I pack my shit as fast as I ever had. I haul ass, throwing my suitcase into my bus. I hug all of my new friends good bye, and plant my ass on the bus.
Now, to the question. Have you guys ever had weird roommates?
In my school system, their's a week-long "camp", (Not really a camp, it's like being at college for a week.) for students gifted in the arts. So, I nearly shit myself when I was accepted, and it had to be the best experience of my life. Except for one little thing.
My room-mate.
I'm hope anyone in college never had, or will have this experience.
I walk into the main hall, fresh faced and doe-eyed. 'This fucking rocks.' I thought. 'No parents, man. For a week.' and soon wedge my way into the social circle of another school, (All in performing arts.), since I was the only one from my school going, besides someone I barely knew the name of, I had to find a group to stick with. Noone wants to be a loner for a week.
Soon, they all start assigning us rooms. I didn't want to be a little self-inviting ass, so, I decided to get a random room-mate, instead of going with the group from the other school. Biggest mistake of my life.
I grab my suitcase, and head on up to the third floor.
Wait.
My door's open. My room-mate's already inside.
I walk in. He looks Philipino. Black hair, rat-tail, short, and his posture resembles that of a midget. His eyes are...odd. The ends of his eyelids are folded out, and he has a souless stare. He's wearing a tye-dye shirt and grey sweatpants, with a see-thru pouch hanging off his neck, with all of his money, and his driver's license inside. He had to be 16, if not older. I quickly greet him, and shake his hand. Let's call him Ed. I tell him my name, and claim my bed next to the window, overlooking the grim forest surrounding the building.
Some part of my mind tells me that I'm majorly fucked.
I eat with the same group as before. They're really good people, but alot of them are in there final year of high-school, so more than likely, this is the only week I'll know these people. Another part of my mind tells me that I could have roomed with any of these people, and I should have. I'm done eating dinner, so I say good night to everyone, and go off to my room. I was in a bus for 6 hours. I was exhausted. The door is slightly ajar. Oh no. The same part of my mind tells me to turn back.
Now.
I knock on the door.
Nothing.
I open the door. CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
At this point in time, I should inform you that the shower is located in front of the door, and has a fucking shower-curtain obviously placed on the shower railing.
He's nekked. Bare. He lacks clothes at this current time. My eyes fucking burn. I think I saw the antichrist. He puts on one of those fucking surprised, "Oh, whoops!" acts on. Most of you would say, that I was being immature. This is an exception. He intended for me to see that. It's okay when you're in the shower room with the rest of the football team, but this? No.
I scream an obscenity out loud, adding: "There's a showercurtain and a doorlock for a reason!" He throws on clothes, without a hint of embarresment. I go to sleep.
I'm going to cut to the chase.
It's the 7th day. I'm half dead from craining my neck over a Macbook for 5 hours. He's under the belief that I am out cold, and begins talking to himself. Talking to himself. All of his shit is meticulously labled. He picks up his CD player: "Ed...that's a cool name." At this point, I'm staring at the wall in disbelief. He's starts spewing complete sentences. Not lyrics. These were sentences made up on the spot. He was talking. I fall asleep. It's a few hours later, and I feel a breath on my neck. The fucker is leaning over me. He's leaning over me. I quickly coughed, and he dived for his bed. Making the loudest fucking commotion ever.
It's the next morning. I pack my shit as fast as I ever had. I haul ass, throwing my suitcase into my bus. I hug all of my new friends good bye, and plant my ass on the bus.
Now, to the question. Have you guys ever had weird roommates?
Scrumptious on
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"Andy... it's getting late, bro. You want to get to the dining hall by close?"
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeell buddy... it's cold out there."
"Oh... yeah, it is. I'm pretty hungry, though. You sure you don't want to go?"
"Buuuuuuuuuuuddy... budddddddddy, that's not what I was saying. I'll go for you. What do you want? Write it down."
We had pillow fights and everything. I miss Andy.
So, we'd take turns cooking. One evening I'm watching TV, and he's in the kitchen. He gets out some chicken and a packet of some premade sauce... All's well. He starts reading the packet... Grabs the bottle of cooking oil... Reads the packet some more... Heads for the Microwave.
Me: "Nick..."
Nick: "Yeah?"
Me: "What are you doing?"
Nick: *Nodding to the cooking instructions* "It says 'Heat Oil'..."
The fucker was going to put the bottle of oil in the microwave... He registered genuine surprise when I pointed out that they meant in a frying pan before you add the ingredients.
He used to go out studying, and we'd elaborately boobytrap the house for his return. Man those were fun days.
A crackhead studying American literature, whose father owned the place, so he didn't do anything except smoke pot and shoot coke.
A redneck studying aerospace engineering, whose only goal in life was to own as many cows as he can. He didn't smoke or consume alcohol because "alcohol corrupts your brain".
A 300 lbs. New York who thought he could become a professional football player (NFL) after graduating from college at age 26. He was a chemical engineering student and thought getting his college degree was a smart investment just in case his NFL dreams failed.
Yeah, I shoulda moved out after my first year there but the rent was cheap and we had good parties.
On the other hand, he was also really weird in a few ways. He only wore button-down dragon shirts. Nothing else. He was also the biggest weaboo ever. He only hung out with Asians. He did nuclear engineering so he could go live in Japan. We would have a few debates whenever he would go on about how Japan was like God's gift to mankind or whatever.
Also: OP, slowly step away from the [New topic]-button now.
*shudder*
I know a girl like that. She's always on and on about Japan. She's really socially awkward but she has the most amazing body ever, and she eats what she wants and doesn't exercise. I'm serious, like a 23 inch waist, wide, full hips, a flat, almost concave stomach, and nice, full Ds.
It's crazy and bewildering.
Everyone knows a girl like that.
Mine was 16, mormon, and really naive. You're like, "Whoa, I'm totally in her pants!" But no, you're not. Because that would be more work, and pain, and soulcrushing activities and conversations than you ever imagined.
As for roommates, I really enjoyed my first roommate. I kinda had another roommate my senior year, in that our two rooms shared a bathroom.
The funniest thing would be him coming over to borrow money, or ask for a ride. One sunday night he came over and asked, "Hey man, do you have a quarter I could borrow? I'm really hoping to eat dinner tonight..."
I told him I didn't have any money and he went away.
He was totally clueless about the sock rule.
I walked in on him banging some whale's ass. Seriously about 250 lbs and short.
That is all.
Which isn't weird so much as it is her being a bitch.
I never tried to get into this girl's pants. She's just too goddamned strange.
This is not a bad roommate story, but semi-related. My roommate and I freshman year had a habit of leaving our door unlocked at night (a semi-paranoid "gee, if there's a fire I don't want to deal with unlocking that shit when I'm half-asleep" thing.) One Saturday night at around 3:30AM, we're both asleep, and some wasted girl bursts into our room, flips the lights on and does like 5 laps around the table in the middle of our room, yelling the whole time, then turns the lights out and runs out. I was basically asleep for the whole thing, and the next morning I thought something had happened and dismissed it as a dream. Later that day we were both in the room doing homework quietly, and out of nowhere my roommate goes "uhh, question: did someone go tearing around our room last night?" - we had both thought it was a dream.
Wow, after typing that, that story really doesn't deliver.
My first room mate in college was a friend of mine who was gay. He got harassed a few times, I stuck up for him, but he decided to move back home.
They replaced him with a guy who jerked off constantly. Like, every time I left the room. I'd come back and all of the dead bolts would be locked.
I know what you're doing.
You don't have to live by yourself to do that. Although in one room dorms it's a little weirder.
He stared at my array of frying pans for a few minutes before coming back into the living room and asking which one was "butter safe."
Extrapolate from there.
He reeked, he stunk, he exuded death and decay.
It was horrible, and no language is strong enough to explain what it feels like to wake up in the morning and smell decaying guts before your morning coffee.
But it turns out it wasn't his fault, he did shower regularly, but it was some kind of medical condition.
I still got out of there as quick as I could.
knew a girl like that in highschool. Super hot, but obsessed with "the rave scene" and for some inexplicable reason the power puff girls. Tried my best to get into her pants, and right when i was on the verge a friend of mine took me t the side and pointed out that i was wearing those stupid fucking raver pants that look like a FF characters outfit, and a shiny shirt. "chasin tail and lookin like an ass" he said to me, and for some reason that phrase struck a chord with me and i pulled back, stopped hanging out with her, in hindsight she was unbalanced as all hell and had a started sleeping with her it would have been a nightmare of epic proportions.
Also retarded roomates. First place i moved into out of my mom's house was a trailer with two friends that it turns out i didn't know all that well. I was asured that the trailer was "nice" and not a nasty shithole. Well it was not the former but very much the latter. The previous tenants had nearly destroyed this place when they were told they needed to continue paying money to live there any longer. Ripped-a-tub-out-of-the-floor destroyed, took-a-shit-in-one-of-the-bedrooms destroyed, I had never seen anything like it, and I had to live there. We did our best to clean it up, and it was liveable, but stil a fucking cess pit. The roomates never cleaned anything that i saw, They just let shit pile up in the sink until i grew so disgusted with the smell that i would wash it. I tried every night to straighten up after they went to sleep, and somehow every morning the place was messy as hell again... before they would even wake up. Like they were hardwired to make a fucking mess in their sleep. The breaking point was when i woke up to go to work and there were two people i had never met passed out naked on the living room floor with a used condom lying between their heads. It like some sort of disgusting protrait attempting to find the essence of whit trash, I took the day off work packed all my shit up and moved back into my moms basement before the sun had set that day.
That's him in the background, doing his thing.
According to that form, I like to stay up until 5a.m. smoking cigarettes, drinking about 3 times the recommended weekly intake and listening to death metal and jazz.
I end up getting a single room with an en suite shower and, as I was in the newly built block that get's rented out for conferences, I had a stream of girls coming to borrow my shower as the water heater in the main building had broken down. Back of the net!!
It doesn't matter who you are in person, on paper you should always make yourself the least pleasant person possible without being anything that can actually be used against you. Ideally you should aim for a racist homophobic baby-eater, but one that can be easily explained away as a comical misunderstanding once you've got your single room.
Obviously, we should make porn together.
And actually, I look a little different now. China has slimmed me the fuck out, and it shows a bit in my face.
I did the shoe outside the door thing so my room mate never had to see me pole smoking. I maybe wanked a bit too often but hey I get bored a bit.
My first room mate was okay. He was gorgeous, very tan and had long blond fabio hair which ordinarily would be odd but it worked for him. We barely communicated however, and after a couple of weeks he simply did not come to the room for many many days. I got used to having the room to myself when I saw him online. Curious, and wondering what the deal was, I IMed him and he said he had withdrawn from school. Not all that interesting, but my first room mate was only around for a month or so of the year.
my second room mate was fantastic. He was fine with being sexiled for gay sex, he would share his food and drink, and he was above all else extremely friendly. I feel a little bad though because apparently the room smelled sort of bad. I showered daily and wore deoderant (I am well known for my usually fragrant and pleasant aroma actually) but some how I made the room sort of smelly. I'm living with him and the rest of my suitemates this year, but in seperate rooms. Maybe I should give him a fruit basket or something.
yeah Loren you look quite a bit skinnier
Whackage is not a problem. Lack of basic human decency is.
That is just awesome, I'm still laughing. At work. Loudly.
whoa whoa, wait... he's jerkin it in that picture? There is absolutley no reason to jerk off with someone else in the room. It's not like your dick is gonna burst if you don't jerk it RIGHT THEN. Some people surprise me. Athough i guess i have seen people screwing on the couch at a party with a sheet pulled overthem for "privacy" but that's a wee bit different.
I've only ever shares apartments/houses... Sharing a room would drive me crazy.
Does this happen anywhere else?
It's sort of expected at any dorm in the US. Other than there, nope.
EDIT: In dorms for Chinese students here, having 6-8 people to a room is common. (international dorms are a different story)
There's somebody reading this thread right now going, shit, he knew!
Dorm rooms are just one small room, I think mine was 11x15, where two or more people live. They generally don't have bathrooms and are pretty much just for sleeping, drinking before going out and playing video games.
He was polite enough to wait until I was turned around (using my computer, as in that picture) or in bed. If I got up for anything once he started, it didn't really faze him. He just ignored me and I just pretended that I didn't see anything.
I guess its not a big deal if you're used to it?
Its just that some of my "flatmates" scared the shit out of me without having to share the same goddamn room.