Also at the wedding some friends of ours decided that even though we got a sheet cake and were being pretty informal Brian and I were going to do the cutting of the cake and feeding each other bit. Well Brian was trying to feed me a chunk of cake but I felt that he was trying to shove it up my nose, so being the wonderfull wife I am I smoosed his piece into his face and up his nose insted of letting him bite and chew. Turns out he wasn't sure I was getting some, 'cause I was backing away, well I was backing away because I allready had a mouth full. I felt like a tool.
You did exactly as my wife did to me, except that I was trying to stuff the cake up her nose. Its one of the only times you're expected to shove food all over your spouses face, there was no way I was going to pass that up.
I'm planning on messing with whoever is crazy/desperate enough to marry me. I'm torn between the classic, "HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE! OPEN THE HANGAR! NEEERRROOOOAARWWW!" and the equally fun "Keep Away" Oh you almost had it, try again! *pull* Whoops, my arm twitched! *pull* c'mon, don't you want any?
The Black HunterThe key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple,unimpeachable reason to existRegistered Userregular
edited October 2007
This one time I was in JBhifi looking at CDs, I looked over my shoulder and saw a massive anime collection.
One title caught my eye solely because it was bizarre, though could just have been some romantic hollywood style comedy.
I was jjust about to walk over and look at the back, thinking, "Hey, anime can't be so bad", then just before I lifted my foot off the ground, I noticed at the top of the case were the words "Senpai hentai collection".
After work, I wandered down to the EB Games in the mall in order to pick up The Orange Box. While standing at the cashier's counter, I hear a girl and a guy behind me having a conversation. The guy says something, and the girl responds with "No, see, I don't play video games, I go out and have a life."
I couldn't help it.
I laughed, and looked over my shoulder. She notices me, and says "Sorry."
To which I smiled and said "No offense taken, I was just surprised to actually hear someone say that and mean it."
At which point I turned around, got my credit card back and walked out of the store. I was chuckling most of the way home over that whole adventure.
The best part was that her friend/boyfriend then walked up to the counter to inquire about Guitar Hero 2. Just a little bit sheepishly, I might add.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
If he's just looking for a lay and has no actual respect for the 'friend' in question? I guess just she should, and if she's not caring, it's game on!
But if he's looking for an actual relationship, it's probably best not to start things off by screwing over the current beau. I mean, what would that say about her, and how she treats her boyfriends? Might mean that some day down the road, he'd get to find out that the shoe was now on the other foot. His foot.
Simply put, if she's willing to sneak/screw around on Guy A (current) with Guy B, it may only be a matter of time before Guy B is replaced in a similar fashion by Guy C.
I guess I should phrase this in the framework of the thread; I find it strange that people who begin relationships by one or both parties cheating on a current significant other act surprised when one of them begins cheating on THEM.
Based on personal experience that is.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
If he's just looking for a lay and has no actual respect for the 'friend' in question? I guess just she should, and if she's not caring, it's game on!
But if he's looking for an actual relationship, it's probably best not to start things off by screwing over the current beau. I mean, what would that say about her, and how she treats her boyfriends? Might mean that some day down the road, he'd get to find out that the shoe was now on the other foot. His foot.
Simply put, if she's willing to sneak/screw around on Guy A (current) with Guy B, it may only be a matter of time before Guy B is replaced in a similar fashion by Guy C.
I guess I should phrase this in the framework of the thread; I find it strange that people who begin relationships by one or both parties cheating on a current significant other act surprised when one of them begins cheating on THEM.
Based on personal experience that is.
Interesting point, and people bring that one up a lot when talking about pursuing a relationship with someone who is already in one. But, I think that it is not necessarily true. It could be that if a girl does that, she just doesn't like the person she is currently with. Or, that she thinks you are a much better catch. There are a multitude of reasons, and to assume that it happened once, and therefore will definitely happen again doesn't really seem like a logical assumption.
Anyhow, perhaps we should start a thread on relationships in general? I'm have an amateur interest in social dynamics. I find it to be a really interesting, and infinitely useful subject. So, sorry for the short de-rail.
Embarrassing moment: I was once sitting in a Chem class in High school, and we happened to be taking a test that day. I was done, and a few other students were done, so we kind of quietly talked to each other, etc. I've always been a very teasing kind of guy, but I rarely cross the line that gets me in trouble. However, this time I had crossed that line.
I was talking to some girl, and she said she was having a bad day. Without thinking, I lean over to my friend and say "she's on her period *wink wink*" Oh fuck. I will never do something like that again. She stood right up the next second, and ran out of the room crying. It was dead silent before, and dead silent afterwards. Even my teacher (who I was pretty cool with) gave me that "What the fuck?" look.
Since that I day, I have never doubted my capacity to become an asshole.
Anyhow, perhaps we should start a thread on relationships in general? I'm have an amateur interest in social dynamics. I find it to be a really interesting, and infinitely useful subject. So, sorry for the short de-rail.
Anyhow, perhaps we should start a thread on relationships in general? I'm have an amateur interest in social dynamics. I find it to be a really interesting, and infinitely useful subject. So, sorry for the short de-rail.
A new guy started here a couple weeks ago, we share an office. He just audibly farted and then laughed.
...
He laughed? Awesome.
Yeah we've had some winners here.
A girl who no longer works here apparently shat all over the bathroom stalls in the lady's restroom during her first week. It's freaky because she was this short, skinny asian chick with glasses.
The guy who trained me for my old shipping/recieving job advocated being honest and pretty much was this location's golden boy, clocking in overtime and doing favors for everyone. Yeah he got fired 2 weeks ago for shafting $18,000 from the company's books. On top of being investigated from the feds. He's 23 by the way.
There was this temp that brought weed brownies to work and offered one to our supervisor who used to be a Parole Officer.
I was in the break room (which is also the kitchen) lying down on the comfy leather couch and a chick who is talking on her celphone walks in and she starts saying something along the lines of "...ok we'll do anal tonight..." around the same time she finally realizes I'm on the couch.
A new guy started here a couple weeks ago, we share an office. He just audibly farted and then laughed.
...
He laughed? Awesome.
Yeah we've had some winners here.
A girl who no longer works here apparently shat all over the bathroom stalls in the lady's restroom during her first week. It's freaky because she was this short, skinny asian chick with glasses.
The guy who trained me for my old shipping/recieving job advocated being honest and pretty much was this location's golden boy, clocking in overtime and doing favors for everyone. Yeah he got fired 2 weeks ago for shafting $18,000 from the company's books. On top of being investigated from the feds. He's 23 by the way.
There was this temp that brought weed brownies to work and offered one to our supervisor who used to be a Parole Officer.
I was in the break room (which is also the kitchen) lying down on the comfy leather couch and a chick who is talking on her celphone walks in and she starts saying something along the lines of "...ok we'll do anal tonight..." around the same time she finally realizes I'm on the couch.
You misheard her. She said "anile"
Pronunciation: \ˈa-ˌnī(-ə)l, ˈā-\ Function:adjective Etymology:Latin anilis, from anus old womanDate:1652 : of or resembling a doddering old woman; especially: Senile
Clearly she and her significant other were going to visit her great aunt.
The place I worked at for my co-op had a phantom shitter in the men's room. The cleaning crew described it to the administration and it trickled down to my ears. Apparently, it occurred multiple times in a variety of different ways. One time it looked as though someone stood over the toilet and just blew shit everywhere. One time, he shat in the sink. One time, the shit was in places that seemed impossible unless you were awkwardly positioned to be blowing fecal matter upward.
Turns out they eventually found out who it was and he had a medical condition. Spoiler'd for the conclusion not being as hilarious as the set up.
The place I worked at for my co-op had a phantom shitter in the men's room. The cleaning crew described it to the administration and it trickled down to my ears. Apparently, it occurred multiple times in a variety of different ways. One time it looked as though someone stood over the toilet and just blew shit everywhere. One time, he shat in the sink. One time, the shit was in places that seemed impossible unless you were awkwardly positioned to be blowing fecal matter upward.
Turns out they eventually found out who it was and he had a medical condition. Spoiler'd for the conclusion not being as hilarious as the set up.
We had one of those at my job for awhile. He was never caught, but it hasn't happened in a long time so either it was someone who has left the company, or he works in some other area of the building now and I just don't hear about it.
Too bad, too. We had launched a pretty high scale investigation on our own. There were charts and graphs.
I started taking classes this semester in a building on campus that I'd never been in before.
Sitting in building's lounge one day, a friend came back from the restroom and launched into this tale about some kid who apparently is always, to quote him, "talking and/or singing to his penis" in the restroom. Now, I've known this friend of mine for a couple years, and I know he likes to exaggerate for the sake of humor or an interesting story, so I figured this could be attributed to that.
Well, I wouldn't be posting this if I'd been right, would I?
A couple days later, I'm in a stall in the empty bathroom doing my business when I hear the door swing open, followed by loud, boisterous singing that was either Chinese or gibberish. It could have been either, I wish I could tell you. The voice finds its way through the bathroom and into the stall next to me, where it then devolves into eccentric (and slightly maniacal) laughter. Creeped out and more than a little disturbed, I finish up, wash my hands and get out of there without ever actually seeing the guy. However, as I'm walking down the hall, I hear the door open again and then some footsteps following me to the computer lab.
I get inside where I meet my girlfriend, the only other person in the lab, and the guy shows up a minute later. He's toned down his personal monologue, but he's still mumbling rather loudly to himself in a way that no one else could ever decipher. He sits across the lab from us, and continues mumbling for the entire straight hour and a half that we were in there alone with him. Eventually I left to go to class, but I have it on my girlfriend's good authority that he then proceeded to rip several high-decibel farts once it was just the two of them. I had the pleasure of experiencing that a few days later, too.
So, yeah. He's in there almost every day, apparently, and it just gets better each time. The lab was nearly full a couple days ago when he let loose another fart that I'm pretty sure I felt through the floor.
Also, just to be clear, I'm fairly certain he's not disabled, or at least nothing else about him would suggest it. I think he's just really weird.
While we're on farts, there were these two asian guys on our dorm floor who boasted their loud farts. One time my roommate offered 10 bucks to whomever could bust out the loudest, nastiest fart. We had ordered chinese/pizza earlier (yeah there's this one place that does both) so we were set up in the lounge (balcony, couches, pool table, etc). The first guy drops a 5 second bomb that is a raunchy as it is loud. It was like someone shuffling a deck of extra large playing cards.
The next dude (small, short cambodian) proceeds to rip one out. Now, words fail me for the most part. But it started light and slow kinda like how a toddler would normally fart, then a pause, and then is was like a sperm whale beaching itself and proceeding to puke out its guts in the most violent way. Loud and smelly enough to make the lounge room clear out.
As he danced happily he had an aftershock fart that made him stop dancing and stand still. Then he proceeds to screech out "OH GOD NO!" and runs to the restroom. Apparently, he sharted something fierce.
One of the most awkward experiences I've ever had...
I was friends with this guy, B, for a while. We had a kind of tumultuous relationship, all "I want to date you...no I don't" on both ends. It was always weird, but we were really close friends for about a year or so.
Well, he does a bunch of dickish things in a row over the summer, and I decide that he doesn't give a shit about me at all, so I'm considering avoiding him.
Problem: At the beginning of summer (when everything was fine) I'd bought a plane ticket to visit him and then drive the 14 hours back to school with him. At the end of summer, suffice it to say we were arguing more than a little often. Also, he decided to introduce me to his girlfriend, when weeks before he had called me, telling me he wanted to marry me (I didn't even know he was dating someone). So the few days I spend at his house are more than a little weird, and we have a few heated arguments.
On the way to school, we don't talk at all. For 14 hours. Alone in a car. I have never been more relieved to get somewhere in my life.
So I tell him I don't know if we should hang out, drama drama, blah blah, we're not really close, but still see each other a lot since we have almost all the same friends, and one of my other really close friends is his roommate.
One time maybe a month after the silent drive, I am in his room with another friend of ours, who is B's really close friend. He's reading, so I decide to upload some pictures on B's computer. We had talked since then, and everything was still a little strange but we were trying to be friends.
I click on the file that's under my name, but accidentally click on the file above it.
I find porn.
Not that I thought he didn't look at porn, it's just weird that I looked at it and so did he.
Posts
Oh. Well, I know quite a few people who honestly do think bros before hos means you never EVER get with a guy's girlfriend, no matter who he is.
And I know quite a few people who do believe in hos before bros.
So its hard to tell.
I had a friend who just got the girl he was chasing, and then ditch the rest of us to hang out with her.
All I heard for the next half hour was another guy going on about Bro's before Ho's.
Well yeah, there's that meaning too.
I'm planning on messing with whoever is crazy/desperate enough to marry me. I'm torn between the classic, "HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE! OPEN THE HANGAR! NEEERRROOOOAARWWW!" and the equally fun "Keep Away" Oh you almost had it, try again! *pull* Whoops, my arm twitched! *pull* c'mon, don't you want any?
I am so getting my ass kicked.
STEAM
One title caught my eye solely because it was bizarre, though could just have been some romantic hollywood style comedy.
I was jjust about to walk over and look at the back, thinking, "Hey, anime can't be so bad", then just before I lifted my foot off the ground, I noticed at the top of the case were the words "Senpai hentai collection".
NARROWLY AVOIDED
His thumbs up on the matter didn't help at all.
With a name like that, I imagine it could be a lot worse.
Haha, really though, I'm surprised a mod hasn't made me change back yet.
Trust me, this particular young lady is a source of constant perplexity for me.
It's almost H/A worthy.
Shit, at least it's only one particular young lady for you.
But it's a frighteningly recurring one.
But hey, who cares if I'm a hopeless romantic and head-over-heels as long as it's only for one girl!
But then, higher level thinking of that nature never really enters into the equation, does it?
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
"Okay, the chair’s not doing it now, but lately it’s been giving out as soon as I lean back."
After work, I wandered down to the EB Games in the mall in order to pick up The Orange Box. While standing at the cashier's counter, I hear a girl and a guy behind me having a conversation. The guy says something, and the girl responds with "No, see, I don't play video games, I go out and have a life."
I couldn't help it.
I laughed, and looked over my shoulder. She notices me, and says "Sorry."
To which I smiled and said "No offense taken, I was just surprised to actually hear someone say that and mean it."
At which point I turned around, got my credit card back and walked out of the store. I was chuckling most of the way home over that whole adventure.
The best part was that her friend/boyfriend then walked up to the counter to inquire about Guitar Hero 2. Just a little bit sheepishly, I might add.
Much gayer
Well I do look in a mirror just about everyday.
how strange and embarrassing
wait, am i doing this right
most of all, most of all
someone said true love was dead
but i'm bound to fall
bound to fall for you
oh what can i do
When she said "nice catch," you should have said "Actually, I think I'll throw this one back." Smile while you say it, and push her away.
Who cares if she has a boyfriend?
If he's just looking for a lay and has no actual respect for the 'friend' in question? I guess just she should, and if she's not caring, it's game on!
But if he's looking for an actual relationship, it's probably best not to start things off by screwing over the current beau. I mean, what would that say about her, and how she treats her boyfriends? Might mean that some day down the road, he'd get to find out that the shoe was now on the other foot. His foot.
Simply put, if she's willing to sneak/screw around on Guy A (current) with Guy B, it may only be a matter of time before Guy B is replaced in a similar fashion by Guy C.
I guess I should phrase this in the framework of the thread; I find it strange that people who begin relationships by one or both parties cheating on a current significant other act surprised when one of them begins cheating on THEM.
Based on personal experience that is.
...
Interesting point, and people bring that one up a lot when talking about pursuing a relationship with someone who is already in one. But, I think that it is not necessarily true. It could be that if a girl does that, she just doesn't like the person she is currently with. Or, that she thinks you are a much better catch. There are a multitude of reasons, and to assume that it happened once, and therefore will definitely happen again doesn't really seem like a logical assumption.
Anyhow, perhaps we should start a thread on relationships in general? I'm have an amateur interest in social dynamics. I find it to be a really interesting, and infinitely useful subject. So, sorry for the short de-rail.
Embarrassing moment: I was once sitting in a Chem class in High school, and we happened to be taking a test that day. I was done, and a few other students were done, so we kind of quietly talked to each other, etc. I've always been a very teasing kind of guy, but I rarely cross the line that gets me in trouble. However, this time I had crossed that line.
I was talking to some girl, and she said she was having a bad day. Without thinking, I lean over to my friend and say "she's on her period *wink wink*" Oh fuck. I will never do something like that again. She stood right up the next second, and ran out of the room crying. It was dead silent before, and dead silent afterwards. Even my teacher (who I was pretty cool with) gave me that "What the fuck?" look.
Since that I day, I have never doubted my capacity to become an asshole.
He laughed? Awesome.
Cheating (ie relationships)
Though, it seems to be pretty dead.
Yeah we've had some winners here.
A girl who no longer works here apparently shat all over the bathroom stalls in the lady's restroom during her first week. It's freaky because she was this short, skinny asian chick with glasses.
The guy who trained me for my old shipping/recieving job advocated being honest and pretty much was this location's golden boy, clocking in overtime and doing favors for everyone. Yeah he got fired 2 weeks ago for shafting $18,000 from the company's books. On top of being investigated from the feds. He's 23 by the way.
There was this temp that brought weed brownies to work and offered one to our supervisor who used to be a Parole Officer.
I was in the break room (which is also the kitchen) lying down on the comfy leather couch and a chick who is talking on her celphone walks in and she starts saying something along the lines of "...ok we'll do anal tonight..." around the same time she finally realizes I'm on the couch.
You misheard her. She said "anile"
Pronunciation: \ˈa-ˌnī(-ə)l, ˈā-\ Function:adjective Etymology:Latin anilis, from anus old womanDate:1652 : of or resembling a doddering old woman; especially: Senile
Clearly she and her significant other were going to visit her great aunt.
We had one of those at my job for awhile. He was never caught, but it hasn't happened in a long time so either it was someone who has left the company, or he works in some other area of the building now and I just don't hear about it.
Too bad, too. We had launched a pretty high scale investigation on our own. There were charts and graphs.
And I really want to unload.
As to the "throw this one back" person, that would have been awesome but I was a bit too much "wait why did she say that oh god oh no".
But yeah I really want to vent in a general relationship thread.
Sitting in building's lounge one day, a friend came back from the restroom and launched into this tale about some kid who apparently is always, to quote him, "talking and/or singing to his penis" in the restroom. Now, I've known this friend of mine for a couple years, and I know he likes to exaggerate for the sake of humor or an interesting story, so I figured this could be attributed to that.
Well, I wouldn't be posting this if I'd been right, would I?
A couple days later, I'm in a stall in the empty bathroom doing my business when I hear the door swing open, followed by loud, boisterous singing that was either Chinese or gibberish. It could have been either, I wish I could tell you. The voice finds its way through the bathroom and into the stall next to me, where it then devolves into eccentric (and slightly maniacal) laughter. Creeped out and more than a little disturbed, I finish up, wash my hands and get out of there without ever actually seeing the guy. However, as I'm walking down the hall, I hear the door open again and then some footsteps following me to the computer lab.
I get inside where I meet my girlfriend, the only other person in the lab, and the guy shows up a minute later. He's toned down his personal monologue, but he's still mumbling rather loudly to himself in a way that no one else could ever decipher. He sits across the lab from us, and continues mumbling for the entire straight hour and a half that we were in there alone with him. Eventually I left to go to class, but I have it on my girlfriend's good authority that he then proceeded to rip several high-decibel farts once it was just the two of them. I had the pleasure of experiencing that a few days later, too.
So, yeah. He's in there almost every day, apparently, and it just gets better each time. The lab was nearly full a couple days ago when he let loose another fart that I'm pretty sure I felt through the floor.
Also, just to be clear, I'm fairly certain he's not disabled, or at least nothing else about him would suggest it. I think he's just really weird.
The next dude (small, short cambodian) proceeds to rip one out. Now, words fail me for the most part. But it started light and slow kinda like how a toddler would normally fart, then a pause, and then is was like a sperm whale beaching itself and proceeding to puke out its guts in the most violent way. Loud and smelly enough to make the lounge room clear out.
As he danced happily he had an aftershock fart that made him stop dancing and stand still. Then he proceeds to screech out "OH GOD NO!" and runs to the restroom. Apparently, he sharted something fierce.
XBL : lJesse Custerl | MWO: Jesse Custer | Best vid ever. | 2nd best vid ever.
I was friends with this guy, B, for a while. We had a kind of tumultuous relationship, all "I want to date you...no I don't" on both ends. It was always weird, but we were really close friends for about a year or so.
Well, he does a bunch of dickish things in a row over the summer, and I decide that he doesn't give a shit about me at all, so I'm considering avoiding him.
Problem: At the beginning of summer (when everything was fine) I'd bought a plane ticket to visit him and then drive the 14 hours back to school with him. At the end of summer, suffice it to say we were arguing more than a little often. Also, he decided to introduce me to his girlfriend, when weeks before he had called me, telling me he wanted to marry me (I didn't even know he was dating someone). So the few days I spend at his house are more than a little weird, and we have a few heated arguments.
On the way to school, we don't talk at all. For 14 hours. Alone in a car. I have never been more relieved to get somewhere in my life.
So I tell him I don't know if we should hang out, drama drama, blah blah, we're not really close, but still see each other a lot since we have almost all the same friends, and one of my other really close friends is his roommate.
One time maybe a month after the silent drive, I am in his room with another friend of ours, who is B's really close friend. He's reading, so I decide to upload some pictures on B's computer. We had talked since then, and everything was still a little strange but we were trying to be friends.
I click on the file that's under my name, but accidentally click on the file above it.
I find porn.
Not that I thought he didn't look at porn, it's just weird that I looked at it and so did he.
Even worse was when it came up later. Oy.