Seven months ago I was really close to being a badass.
In the last seven months my primary goal has to become MORE badass.
Where did it go wrong? Why am I slipping back?
I need to retreat into myself and reforge the elements of my personality anew. The caterpillar retreats into itself and is reformed into a beautiful specimen.
Both graceful and persistent. Both humble and confident. I see the traces of what I want to become in every flickering shadow.
In the stories, men's transformation always comes about through some awful impetus, but in real life, sometimes it's as simple as just... making that leap.
I assume because I have a gift with words is why it's well composed.
No why would you want to be a badass?
Man you're no fun.
Why does anybody do anything? I wanna become a man the people who care about me can become proud of. My family loves me no matter what, and my friends too, but I don't deserve them. They think I'm better than I am, and I want their beautiful delusions to become true. That I'm who they expect me to be, who they think I am. That grain of potential hidden within. I've put these people through shit, for once I want to be the shoulder they can freely cry upon, to repay them for their patience and understanding so they can feel they helped shape a man who deserves to live upon this world.
When I went back to the country I was born in, for the first time in my memory, I was no longer among my immediate family, but my extended family, who barely knew me. Cousins and grandparents all but forgotten and some never met at all. I realized that I was defined by the people around me. Maybe everybody is. I was disturbed to find that the only constants in my personality were selfishness and apathy. If people expected me to be afraid, I felt fear. Alone, I was little more than an empty shell, a somehow vampiric entity that fed off the personality of others.
I assume because I have a gift with words is why it's well composed.
No why would you want to be a badass?
Man you're no fun.
Why does anybody do anything? I wanna become a man the people who care about me can become proud of. My family loves me no matter what, and my friends too, but I don't deserve them. They think I'm better than I am, and I want their beautiful delusions to become true. That I'm who they expect me to be, who they think I am. That grain of potential hidden within. I've put these people through shit, for once I want to be the shoulder they can freely cry upon, to repay them for their patience and understanding so they can feel they helped shape a man who deserves to live upon this world.
When I went back to the country I was born in, for the first time in my memory, I was no longer among my immediate family, but my extended family, who barely knew me. Cousins and grandparents all but forgotten and some never met at all. I realized that I was defined by the people around me. Maybe everybody is. I was disturbed to find that the only constants in my personality were selfishness and apathy. If people expected me to be afraid, I felt fear. Alone, I was little more than an empty shell, a somehow vampiric entity that fed off the personality of others.
That shit won't stand.
A lot of people tend to want to acquire a badass status for all of the wrong reasons. You do seem to be entirely justified in the endeavor and perhaps I was looking at the term in the wrong light.
Why did you break up with your girlfriend? Did she morph into some sort of nanocube hating she-Satan?
We grew apart. Also she doesn't share my politics. Also I don't think I'm a particularly useful person when divorced from a large well equipped electronics lab like I have at my parents house. So essentially a multitude of factors summarized as "ultimately our interests are incredibly divergent".
This is why I am now dating the girl from my uni course instead. But I didn't see her this weekend because she had the flu, and also gave it to me when I saw her last Thursday. Only now my body is being raped by said flu whereas she is apparently better.
The new plan is to strongly resist moving in with said girlfriend - if I move anywhere its into my own solitary apartment where things are mine so I can implement my own whacky schemes to solve trivial problems. This may take a while though since research monies are slender.
This newspost delay was brought to you by AT&T's sterling Cable Internet service.
We were not especially struck by any of the news out there, at least, not in a comic way, so we took advantage of that fact and decided to do whatever we wanted. Technically we do whatever we want whether or not we have an excuse to, but it rarely reaches this threshold of elaboration when we're just messing around. Also, apparently the Japanese stuff at the top actually says what it is supposed to - so obviously, we had nothing to do with it. The strange characters that make up Japanese fill me with a vague unease. No, that's all Kiko, who apparently has some faculty with it. And he's not Japanese, either, that's the thing. In fact, if there is a name less Japanese than Francisco Villasenor I would be surprised to see it.
One piece of news did have a certain flavor, but at this point we were already done with the comic so it didn't have a chance to germinate. Courtesy of The Magicbox (compulsory daily reading) we have shots of the console specific characters for each version of Soul Calibur II. If you didn't already know, just go look and be overcome with emotion. By all available information, it sounds like we're in for the same luxurious treatment Namco has always given home conversions of this series. Soul Calibur for the DC remains a top contender in virtually every scoreable category, even categories you make up on the spot, like "Best, uh... Spelunking." The only thing you could fault it for, really, was that it did not include the exhilarating weapon collection of its prior iteration - and it's back for Soul Calibur II. Come to think of it, I've never even seen Soul Calibur II at a Seattle arcade, or anywhere else for that matter, so it seems likely that my first experience will be with the lavish home version on the console of my choice.
I started using ICQ again for some reason, I hadn't used it in maybe two years, and all these people I used to talk to apparently never pruned me from their lists. It's like opening a time capsule every time I connect to it, I don't know who half these people are, and I don't have the logs from back then but apparently I logged off in the middle of a conversation. I was talking to Soup last night, I guess he's made a dark pact with continuity of all things. People change, you know? I had a friend back in the day named Brad who ran a humor site called Lowpass.net, he was written up in Wired for promoting it via spoofed Eminem tracks. It turns out he's still alive, and when he's not maintaining his sites Strip Creator or In4mador he puts out some really catchy songs. You see, he's kind of a renaissance dork.
I wanted to thank Nexon for sponsoring Penny Arcade this month, they just moved from the front page to the strip page. Shattered Galaxy 1.5 has a really interesting take on Real-Time Strategy, and it's been doing things since version 1.0 that other games in the genre would do well to learn from. It has a free trial, and it only costs ten bucks to upgrade the demo to retail status if you find yourself hooked. Give it a try, see if it does it for you.
Posts
How much is that? €0.7? :P
later [chat]
Never understood why they didn't have them when they had them at AS level.
In non-UK education related news, I've just discovered a new radio show. Electro East. It's really nice upbeat electro-stuff.
Someone up there really hates me.
Also, it was a letter to my dad, not an exciting parcel.
In the last seven months my primary goal has to become MORE badass.
Where did it go wrong? Why am I slipping back?
I need to retreat into myself and reforge the elements of my personality anew. The caterpillar retreats into itself and is reformed into a beautiful specimen.
Both graceful and persistent. Both humble and confident. I see the traces of what I want to become in every flickering shadow.
In the stories, men's transformation always comes about through some awful impetus, but in real life, sometimes it's as simple as just... making that leap.
And
not
looking
back
I assume because I have a gift with words is why it's well composed.
No why would you want to be a badass?
It can't always be a cow-cushion. ;-)
It is so sexy.
*edit what drama?
Hello, Aldo.
Man you're no fun.
Why does anybody do anything? I wanna become a man the people who care about me can become proud of. My family loves me no matter what, and my friends too, but I don't deserve them. They think I'm better than I am, and I want their beautiful delusions to become true. That I'm who they expect me to be, who they think I am. That grain of potential hidden within. I've put these people through shit, for once I want to be the shoulder they can freely cry upon, to repay them for their patience and understanding so they can feel they helped shape a man who deserves to live upon this world.
When I went back to the country I was born in, for the first time in my memory, I was no longer among my immediate family, but my extended family, who barely knew me. Cousins and grandparents all but forgotten and some never met at all. I realized that I was defined by the people around me. Maybe everybody is. I was disturbed to find that the only constants in my personality were selfishness and apathy. If people expected me to be afraid, I felt fear. Alone, I was little more than an empty shell, a somehow vampiric entity that fed off the personality of others.
That shit won't stand.
I'm holding out tentative hope it might actually be better than Sands of Time.
It certainly may rival like... Ico for sheer Awesome Companion Syndrome.
I thought the sands of time kind of felt sloppy.
Then again I played it for PC.
Edit: Yet!
And hello herr Haps.
I want to get laid.
Go to the middlish pages.
NO!
Do you mean the year when DNF will be released?
But it made up for it by being fuckawesome.
This is why I am now dating the girl from my uni course instead. But I didn't see her this weekend because she had the flu, and also gave it to me when I saw her last Thursday. Only now my body is being raped by said flu whereas she is apparently better.
The new plan is to strongly resist moving in with said girlfriend - if I move anywhere its into my own solitary apartment where things are mine so I can implement my own whacky schemes to solve trivial problems. This may take a while though since research monies are slender.