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Bored and depressed (suggest what book for me to read on pg 2)
Grundlterror
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Tomorrow, both my brother and sister are moving to a college town while I'm stuck at home. All of us go to college (I'm a senior, my brother is a sophomore/junior and my sister is a freshmen) but I'm the only one who has to stay at home since I don't have a scholarship and I have a bit of credit card debt. The credit card debt is going to be paid off easily (I've almost got it all taken care of) and I have student loans, but my parents are still advising me against moving out to be closer to campus (my school is about 45 minutes away).
Recently, the place where I was working got shut down without any notice. Luckily for me, I was the only one working there that was eligible for unemployment (more specifically the Emergency Unemployment Compensation). Since it calculated my last job (HP) instead of the job I just lost (Pizza Place) I'm making more than I would if I found a new job. My school starts up next week and I won't have time for a job... so getting unemployment on top of my student loans is a fantastic deal for me.
For the last month, I haven't had a license other than a work and school permit. It sucks, but I save money on gas (for now). Also, I had my brother to drive me around to places that I wanted to go. Now that my brother is gone I'm pretty much on my own. I have one friend around my house to hang out with, but we don't have too much in common really so we just hang around and watch TV. Everywhere else to hang out are peoples houses in the city (I'm about 30 - 40 minutes north of the city) or similar distances away. This has actually been a huge factor in breaking up with my girlfriend, since she lives in the city and only owns a scooter we had to get a chaperone whenever we go out. Things weren't going stellar at the time and we decided to take a break especially since this issue has been adding so much stress. I'll have my license back in a few months, but right now it's killing me.
I haven't really made any friends at school, I'm a senior in Computer Science at a tech school (not GT) and while I am a dork I'm not really up to par with most of the people at my school. Outside of school I tend to like social situations and such. And forget about girls, there was actually an article in my school newspaper (April Fools Edition) about the lack of ladies on campus. It will be good once school starts, that should occupy a bit of my time but if I have nothing else I'll go insane.
Recently, I think I've been having panic attacks (I'll freak out about something that isn't a big deal... to the degree of slapping myself in the face, talking crazy talk, pacing around my room and not being able to sleep) and I've just been really really bored and depressed. Before I lost my license I was hanging out with friends 4 - 6 days out of the week. Now I'm lucky if it's 1. I play video games all the time and watch TV constantly. I try to get out and exercise (take a walk, ride a bike) but I'm just unmotivated. I haven't even shaven, even though I've had plenty of time to.
Just a disclaimer, I know that in the future I'll have a shit ton of stress to deal with in the job market and I should be happy I still live at home for free and blah blah blah... but I'm just so bored and depressed that I know something needs to change.
Should I try to move out? I'm sick of living at home (being 23) and I think it adds to my depression.
How can I get out of this funk?
tl;dr - brother and sister both getting to go live in a college town, im 23 and stuck at home with my parents with no job and I shouldn't get one.. basically on house arrest because I have no license at the moment. Bored, depressed and maybe going a bit crazy.
Recently, the place where I was working got shut down without any notice. Luckily for me, I was the only one working there that was eligible for unemployment (more specifically the Emergency Unemployment Compensation). Since it calculated my last job (HP) instead of the job I just lost (Pizza Place) I'm making more than I would if I found a new job. My school starts up next week and I won't have time for a job... so getting unemployment on top of my student loans is a fantastic deal for me.
For the last month, I haven't had a license other than a work and school permit. It sucks, but I save money on gas (for now). Also, I had my brother to drive me around to places that I wanted to go. Now that my brother is gone I'm pretty much on my own. I have one friend around my house to hang out with, but we don't have too much in common really so we just hang around and watch TV. Everywhere else to hang out are peoples houses in the city (I'm about 30 - 40 minutes north of the city) or similar distances away. This has actually been a huge factor in breaking up with my girlfriend, since she lives in the city and only owns a scooter we had to get a chaperone whenever we go out. Things weren't going stellar at the time and we decided to take a break especially since this issue has been adding so much stress. I'll have my license back in a few months, but right now it's killing me.
I haven't really made any friends at school, I'm a senior in Computer Science at a tech school (not GT) and while I am a dork I'm not really up to par with most of the people at my school. Outside of school I tend to like social situations and such. And forget about girls, there was actually an article in my school newspaper (April Fools Edition) about the lack of ladies on campus. It will be good once school starts, that should occupy a bit of my time but if I have nothing else I'll go insane.
Recently, I think I've been having panic attacks (I'll freak out about something that isn't a big deal... to the degree of slapping myself in the face, talking crazy talk, pacing around my room and not being able to sleep) and I've just been really really bored and depressed. Before I lost my license I was hanging out with friends 4 - 6 days out of the week. Now I'm lucky if it's 1. I play video games all the time and watch TV constantly. I try to get out and exercise (take a walk, ride a bike) but I'm just unmotivated. I haven't even shaven, even though I've had plenty of time to.
Just a disclaimer, I know that in the future I'll have a shit ton of stress to deal with in the job market and I should be happy I still live at home for free and blah blah blah... but I'm just so bored and depressed that I know something needs to change.
Should I try to move out? I'm sick of living at home (being 23) and I think it adds to my depression.
How can I get out of this funk?
tl;dr - brother and sister both getting to go live in a college town, im 23 and stuck at home with my parents with no job and I shouldn't get one.. basically on house arrest because I have no license at the moment. Bored, depressed and maybe going a bit crazy.
Grundlterror on
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hiking trails? just things you can do that don't "require" other people?
3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348 www.Twitch.TV/cooljammer00
Battle.Net: JohnDarc#1203 Origin/UPlay: CoolJammer00
I was going to suggest a bike ride, but he said in the OP that he has a bike, and just doesn't ride due to lack of motivation.
But yeah, man. Scenic routes?
3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348 www.Twitch.TV/cooljammer00
Battle.Net: JohnDarc#1203 Origin/UPlay: CoolJammer00
Also, when you get your money and license situation together, I would look into moving out. If you've only got a little more college to go to, finish that up, but if you've got a lot, you should talk to your parents about your need to get out on your own.
You set your alarm to go off 3 hours earlier than you have to be up. If you have no set time at which you must be out of bed, you just set it for 5 AM. You make sure you've got a pair of shorts or sweat pants and a t-shirt and some sneakers waiting for you, with the alarm clock behind them. When that alarm goes off, you go and get dressed, then turn it off. This will motivate you to both dress quickly and make it harder for you to fall back to sleep.
Now you're gonna get on that bike and you're gonna ride it as fast you can until you can't go any further. Just see how far your legs can take you. Once you've honestly and seriously given up, pull over and sit down for a while, where ever you are, and just take in the scenery. Once you've relaxed a bit, hop on the bike and pedal it home. You can go home as slowly as you like.
You do that every morning and every day you'll be able to go further, and you'll get into progressively more impressive shape and guess what, you'll feel fucking awesome.
When you feel fucking awesome, it doesn't matter how much money you've got. When you feel fucking awesome, you're more fun to be around and it'll come naturally that you find yourself surrounded by people again. The best part of all?
This doesn't cost anything and you can get started for the very first time in only a few hours. Hell if you're really serious about feeling great, you can go RIGHT NOW. Seriously. No one will stop you. You can turn off your PC, put on your shoes, and get on your bike. You have my permission.
I'm not even kidding. If you think I'm wrong, you just go and do this five days straight and then come back and tell me what an asshole I am for tricking you so horribly.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
Yeah bikes can go that far, I just google mapped it and it's 6.4 miles with most of it on a highway. I suppose I could do that for sure, I just can't do that every day... plus I don't have a helmet, how likely am I to get a ticket for riding without a helmet? I get freaked out riding in the street so I usually look for sidewalks and I hear that you can get a ticket for that too.
I've got two full time semesters left.
edit - Pheezer, that's an amazing idea actually... it will definitely give me something to do.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348 www.Twitch.TV/cooljammer00
Battle.Net: JohnDarc#1203 Origin/UPlay: CoolJammer00
If the president had any real power, he'd be able to live wherever the fuck he wanted.
If the president had any real power, he'd be able to live wherever the fuck he wanted.
I've just been watching the Olympics all day and playing HL2.
But the solution is right there for all to see: do something!
No motivation? Don't care. Do it anyways. Beating depression means doing stuff you don't want to do when you don't want to do it. It's about thinking positively even when you don't believe yourself. Because if you do it for long enough, you will want to do those things and you will actively think positively and you will believe it.
Take it from someone who has been there many times and just finally found it in himself to actually beat it. I couldn't have done it any other way then to put up with it. For a while, my life goal was literally to be completely apathetic about everything. I just wanted to float through life for a few weeks. I did that and quickly moved into a much more positive atmosphere. Has my environment changed? No! There's still nothing for me to do at home, so I don't hang around. The solution to beating depression is so stupid it's almost painful to think about. Don't wait until you're motivated, because you won't be motivated at first. Do it anyway.
Well you might have to bike for a few minutes and spend a little money to do stuff. Riding your bike isn't going to hurt you and 2-3 miles can take less than 10 minutes. It's a poor excuse to want something you can get to in 3 minutes and spend no money on. You might find those things every once in awhile, but fun usually isn't free.
Electronic composer for hire.
Kudos to you getting your debt under control. Your parents may be trying to drop you a subtle hint about moving out; possibly try to make some plans (or if you don't have the means "look like your making plans")
You have no license, no means of transportation, and you live in the sticks. Odds are against you here, my suggestion to you would be to buy a scooter yourself. (I'm not a 100% on the laws in your state, but this is how my state plays out) You don't need a license to operate a scooter that goes <60mph. This will get you moble and out of the same routines everyday.
I myself know all too well what its like not to have any friends. Your best bet would be to find people with like interests. You said you were a Comp Sci major right? So you must bear some kind of interest in your major. I would attempt to hang out the ones that are "dorkier" (as you descirbed it) then you and goof around with something that your both interested in. If thats not the ticket, go do something (alone if need be) where you can meet some people. For example if you are a video game geek hit up a local lan party or something.
Girls. It sucks when the male:female population is disproportionate. Try and find 'that special someone' somewhere else besides school (if you implement the aforementioned scooter idea, you would be plenty moble).
You have to break your routine, it's gonna drive you mad. Change your scenery the best that you can. Take that walk, ride your bike, etc. Cut down on TV and Video Games, being dormant all day/night isn't good for you. When you do make the changes hopefully your boredom and depression will subside.
Life is stress. I wouldn't want to meet the person who has had a stress free life. I know I'm pushed to the max (I have a job I hate, Make crap money, have to take care of my newborn son and my 5 yr old by myself while wife goes to work (don't get me wrong I love my son, but its just a lot of work), try and keep up with school, plus all the house cleaning, the list goes on but I don't want to bore you). My point is that stress is something that has to be managed, is possible. If things get too overwhelming then there is always help.
You'll get through this rough patch. Best of luck.
You have to decide whether or not living at home is detrimental to your being.
After I'm over this sick spell I'm gonna start riding my bike a lot.
Here's the deal about moving out. I have been awarded 10.5k in student loans. I have 2 semesters left. My tuition for each semester is a little under 2.5k. With books we'll call it an even 3k per semester before any other expenses to be safe.
In total I'd probably move out from September to May. 10.5k - 6k = 4.5k / 9 (months) = $500 a month... is that enough to live on? I mean I could get a job to pay for groceries and stuff but the loans factor in an "expected family contribution" that just isn't there.
Excuses, Excuses. Don't procrastinate; the quicker your life gets into gear the quicker you can enjoy it.
I wouldn't suggest moving out until a stable source of income can be found. If I were you I would bank the extra 7.5k and see where your degree takes you in the immediate future. Once you have a steady job/source of income then budget everything. I'm going to use my living expenses as kind of an example since we are so close in age (I'm 24).
1. Rent: My rent is 1k a month for a 2 br townhome in a semi-decent area. Since you are single you would probably want a single br place. Around my way they run from $700-$800 a month. *Remember I'm using the cost of living around my way as an example.*
2. Utilities: Gotta light your living space. My Gas/Electric bill on average is about $200-$250. I raise a family of what I suspect to be eskimos when it comes to the AC. I would factor your G/E bill to be around $100-$150. Expect this number to jump if like to run the heat in winter.
3. Food: Shopping at a grocery store for 1 and eating out can be comparatively close in price imo. Lets just say you consume $10 worth of food a day multiply that by 30, you get $300.
4: Miscellaneous Expenses: This varies from month to month so I won't bother putting a number on it. Just remember the small stuff (medical, car repair, gas, clothes, etc) those little things you don't think about, but still happen anyway.
Lets see what we have as a monthly total of expenses:
$700+$150+300=$1150 Thats a lot of effing money to kick out a month if you really don't have anything to replace it with. I know the sting of living with parents and wanting to prove yourself in the world. It will happen, but all good things in time.
So in the effort of keeping busy I just bought a ton of books today (used book stores are so awesome) so I've got some good stuff to read now... any suggestions on where I start? Pic in spoiler.
but do it while you're doing Pheezer's biking thing (which I can vouch for), because most of those books are really fucking depressing.