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Movies today SUCK
Bucketman
Call meSkraggRegistered User regular
Call meSkraggRegistered User regular
Ok, I don't mean ALL movies, but man theres been some real stinkers lately. And plenty of suck on the horizon. Lets take a closer look at this massive suckage:
Star Wars: Clone Wars
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
The House Bunny
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
Disaster Movie
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
College
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
Death Race
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
And thats just a few. I know there are more, and lets discuss. Shitty movies comming out, or that have been out recently. Why do they suck? Is there any salvation from the suckage now that Iron Man, Hulk, Batman, and Tropic Thunder are out? I need to talk about this with some intelligent people and everyone I work with at the theater is like "MAN DID YOU SEE THE TRAILER FOR DEATH RACE LOOKS OFF THE HOOK!" and "DISASTER MOVIE IS GOING TO MAKE ME LOL" and other things that make me want to punch them.
Star Wars: Clone Wars
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
Ok quite honestly, I know this was targeted at kids. But man, the Clone Wars cartoon series was pretty kick ass. Why was this movie so glame?
Oh hey, they give Anakin a padawan (or however you spell it) RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR. Also shes like 10. They say shes a kid, like freaking out of grade school. And still in training, and they giver her a giant ass laser sword and put her in the middle of a war. Also, she calls Anakin, Sky Guy the whole fucking movie, and I can't help but say "Man its akward watching this when I know shes not in the movies at ALL and Anakin must somehow killer her/get her killed like every other Jedi.
Also they spent way to much time on the Droids. Like hey, were having this important conversation and heres a close up of R2D2 beeping for no reason.
Oh hey, they give Anakin a padawan (or however you spell it) RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR. Also shes like 10. They say shes a kid, like freaking out of grade school. And still in training, and they giver her a giant ass laser sword and put her in the middle of a war. Also, she calls Anakin, Sky Guy the whole fucking movie, and I can't help but say "Man its akward watching this when I know shes not in the movies at ALL and Anakin must somehow killer her/get her killed like every other Jedi.
Also they spent way to much time on the Droids. Like hey, were having this important conversation and heres a close up of R2D2 beeping for no reason.
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
Man...do I really need to get into this? Ok, appearently its about this rich dog who rejects the love/lust of this poor dog and then gets dog napped in Mexico because her owner figured it would be a good idea to buy a dog a diamond studded collar, then leave her in the care of some regular family member/employee. Great idea. Now the poor dog goes to save the rich dog with his rag tag team of dogs.
Its like if Lady and the Tramp had a baby with Oliver and Company after several night of binge drinking.
Its like if Lady and the Tramp had a baby with Oliver and Company after several night of binge drinking.
The House Bunny
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
Ok I won't lie, this movie had some parts in the trailer that made my chuckle a bit.
However, beyond that all I see is a movie that took the concept of Revenge of the Nerds but decided being yourself is for pussies, and that everyone loves whores, so why not dress and act like one? Its the best version of yourself.
However, beyond that all I see is a movie that took the concept of Revenge of the Nerds but decided being yourself is for pussies, and that everyone loves whores, so why not dress and act like one? Its the best version of yourself.
Disaster Movie
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
I don't know if anyone here saw Superhero Movie, but basically all the scenes that looked slightly interesting in the commericals where throw away jokes that where edited out of the movie and put in durring the credits. This looks the same, they just take every movie thats been out over the last year or so and just hit characters with shit. Seriously its been a long time since ANY of these guys movies wern't complete disasters. Pun intended.
College
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
I am so fucked tired of all these movies that paint this picture about college as some super amazing place where nothing but sex and drinking happen. I mean yeah theres plenty of sex and drinking, but none of the shit in these movies happens and I'm so tired of meeting people who are dumb enough to actully think this shit is real. Animal House, but less realistic and with bad actors.
Death Race
Trailer:
Why it sucks:
I'm sure there was some point where Jason Statham did good movies, but I'm having a harder and harder time remembering it. It might have a few interesting action scenes, but most likely not enough to drown out the shaky plot and bad dialogue
And thats just a few. I know there are more, and lets discuss. Shitty movies comming out, or that have been out recently. Why do they suck? Is there any salvation from the suckage now that Iron Man, Hulk, Batman, and Tropic Thunder are out? I need to talk about this with some intelligent people and everyone I work with at the theater is like "MAN DID YOU SEE THE TRAILER FOR DEATH RACE LOOKS OFF THE HOOK!" and "DISASTER MOVIE IS GOING TO MAKE ME LOL" and other things that make me want to punch them.
Bucketman on
0
Posts
SOME THINGS AREN'T AS GOOD AS OTHERS
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
UTAH POISON CONTROL CENTRE REMINDS PEOPLE NOT TO TAKE POISON
I liked the Transporter, Crank...was OK. I just think his movies have been declining in quality lately.
Titanic?
Its about a Beverly Hills Bunny who must driver her car through a Death Rave durring a tornado to get to her College where she will make clone soldiers.
Sure Daniel Day-Lewis is great and the score and directing were edgy but I didn't order delicious tangy appetizers. I ordered a steak. I want my god damn steak.
Oh god and the part with the fire hose. Fuck that was awesome
a bit cheesy at times but plenty of ass kicking
that would be an incredible movie
the true answer is in fact man
you go to almost any theater in the country right now, you can watch Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, or Wall-E
and what's coming out later this year? Hamlet 2, Burn After Reading, Choke, Miracle at St. Anna, City of Ember, Max Payne, Synecdoche New York, The Brothers Bloom, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Quantum of Solace, Australia, Soul Men, The Road, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button...
Yes, we live in desperate times indeed.
Yeah but see. I have to watch EVERY MOVIE. I HAVE TO. Its my job. I bare this burdon of terrible movies on my shoulders and the only ones I can talk to about it love shitty movies.
Though ok, I loved Bank Job. I just get tired of movies that do great action but throw everything else out the window.
They aren't hard to avoid, really.
edit: see
Liam Neeson will kick the shit out of you son
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
I'm still not sure who soled their soul to get that movie to sell so many tickets.
I have a sneaking suspicion it was the same 100k women going to see it over and over.
Also you have some of the funniest headlines I've seen #pipe.
http://islesofscion.net - Updated every day!
And then those women bring their boyfriends/husbands to it over and over
Hamlet 2? Seriously?
You are an awful person
how does it feel?
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
See:
Sex in the City
Any non porno movie with the word Sisterhood in the title
Mamma Mia
Have you not seen the trailer or what?
Yes. Hamlet 2 is going to be pretty amazing.
Also I hadn't heard of Zack and Miri and man it looks great.
too bad they got slapped with the nc17
They already made Disaster Movie.
a bit masturbatory
Let's take 1999, for instance. One of the finest years in recent memory. Being John Malkovich, Fight Club, Election, Magnolia, Three Kings.
But that same year gave us Dudley Do Right, Wild Wild West, Three to Tango, Simply Irresistible, My Favorite Marian, The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human, Idle Hands, Blue Streak, Blast from the Past, Big Kahuna.
Newsflash - every year has a few good films and a whole lot of shit. Sturgeon's Law, motherfucker