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Dowry's all paid up, looks like I'll be a woman soon!
babyeatingjesus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey everyone! Because you know and I know that you want to know every insignificant facet of my amazing and incredible life, here's some great news about your favorite* forumer**
I'm getting married! To a girl! With boobs and everything!
The romantic story of our engagement is as follows:
I went shopping with my mom, who is pretty much the most fantastic woman on the planet and we picked out a ring. My mom knows and adores my girlfriend, so she wanted to make sure I was going to make a proper story out of things.
"She's been incredibly patient to stay with you this long, don't fuck it up" she said, bolstering my already untameable confidence.
So I got home, sat on the couch, and waited. Like a Lioness waits for the mighty Canadian Moose to lower its guard.
She got home, I had forgotten what I was doing and was watching tv and drinking on the couch. I was no longer wearing pants.
Things went normally, she greeted me, and made a sandwich. I didn't get one.
Undaunted, I snuck to the kitchen as she went to the bathroom and hid the ring under some mouldy bread that she'd left out, deciding it unfit to be part of the sandwich she'd made. I took half, to signify our shared lives together after this day.
She got back, I'd made it back to the couch so she'd not noticed I had moved.
"The kitchen is really gross, what's with all this old ass bread on the counter??" I asked
"Shut up, I'm cleaning it"
She cleaned the counter. Any minute now.
I sat and waited.
No response.
I got up and looked around...
She'd thrown the ring in the garbage.
Thinking quickly, I fished it out and put it under the old lettuce she'd left out from the sandwich. No way the same thing could fail twice!
"What the fuck is this?" she asked. Success.
"What the fuck is what?" I replied
"What the fuck is this?" The ring was in my face now. Clearly she'd discovered it.
"Oh that. I thought we should get this down on paper in case you try and take my couch or something."
And now we have a place, music, photographer, food and booze to get married with next June.
THE END.
*maybe top 100
**members with "Jesus" in their name. Spelled correctly.
tl;dr
I'm getting married! To a girl! With boobs and everything!
The romantic story of our engagement is as follows:
I went shopping with my mom, who is pretty much the most fantastic woman on the planet and we picked out a ring. My mom knows and adores my girlfriend, so she wanted to make sure I was going to make a proper story out of things.
"She's been incredibly patient to stay with you this long, don't fuck it up" she said, bolstering my already untameable confidence.
So I got home, sat on the couch, and waited. Like a Lioness waits for the mighty Canadian Moose to lower its guard.
She got home, I had forgotten what I was doing and was watching tv and drinking on the couch. I was no longer wearing pants.
Things went normally, she greeted me, and made a sandwich. I didn't get one.
Undaunted, I snuck to the kitchen as she went to the bathroom and hid the ring under some mouldy bread that she'd left out, deciding it unfit to be part of the sandwich she'd made. I took half, to signify our shared lives together after this day.
She got back, I'd made it back to the couch so she'd not noticed I had moved.
"The kitchen is really gross, what's with all this old ass bread on the counter??" I asked
"Shut up, I'm cleaning it"
She cleaned the counter. Any minute now.
I sat and waited.
No response.
I got up and looked around...
She'd thrown the ring in the garbage.
Thinking quickly, I fished it out and put it under the old lettuce she'd left out from the sandwich. No way the same thing could fail twice!
"What the fuck is this?" she asked. Success.
"What the fuck is what?" I replied
"What the fuck is this?" The ring was in my face now. Clearly she'd discovered it.
"Oh that. I thought we should get this down on paper in case you try and take my couch or something."
And now we have a place, music, photographer, food and booze to get married with next June.
THE END.
*maybe top 100
**members with "Jesus" in their name. Spelled correctly.
tl;dr
babyeatingjesus on
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Posts
its when he gets all married i think
This is one of my favorite sentences to say.
Oh, Trell!
I can't believe she still said yes after finding her ring in garbage.
I told her later that now she has to constantly clean up messes because now there's a precedent! Could be Diamonds in there!
Top notch romancin', Lord.
Hide the ring in her towel before she gets out of the shower.
Favorite part of the story.
Well told.
Congrats
Put it in the reservoir tip of the condom.
It's for sure rip, so she'll have to say yes!
THE CHEEK OF YOU PEOPLE
Everyone she tells is going to ask "how did he propose", and she's gonna have to tell all about you and your no-pants trash ring.
my friend's older brother proposed by putting the ring on top of the bar of soap in her shower
I wish men would just man up and do the on one knee regular style for once. It is tried and tested.
Under mouldy bread? Really.
Also, congratulations. You recovered with a pretty damn decent line.
I skipped her family dinner the next weekend and she had to tell the story and she came back and was like "Your such an asshole"
I give it a year.
All I did was a little thing involving a christmas tree and Leanna got frustrated with explaining it. But she said yes anyways, so the drugs are working, and congrats!
start coughing
and bam
like a pelican feeding its young
all
hey hey i think theres something wrong you wanna look at this
yeah no i dont think diamonds are naturally occurring inside the thigh
What
What's this
BAM it's a ring
Actually, have it the other way around, and she pulls her hand out and oh look the ring is already on there we're hitched!
I gave her a good running start and any diamonds that hit her she got to keep.
Unfortunately for my budget, I didn't take into account the fact that she's not a very fast runner and that I would enjoy it so much.
and then steal the tip
Aww yeah. 8-)
Why did Shibby shit on the bed? Was it a sickness or a sex thing?
Fucking her, pull out cum in my hand, place the ring in it and throw it in her face as I'm screaming 'Marry me bitch!'
Hey, you were already on your knees.