As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

Dowry's all paid up, looks like I'll be a woman soon!

babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
edited August 2008 in Social Entropy++
Hey everyone! Because you know and I know that you want to know every insignificant facet of my amazing and incredible life, here's some great news about your favorite* forumer**

I'm getting married! To a girl! With boobs and everything!

The romantic story of our engagement is as follows:

I went shopping with my mom, who is pretty much the most fantastic woman on the planet and we picked out a ring. My mom knows and adores my girlfriend, so she wanted to make sure I was going to make a proper story out of things.

"She's been incredibly patient to stay with you this long, don't fuck it up" she said, bolstering my already untameable confidence.

So I got home, sat on the couch, and waited. Like a Lioness waits for the mighty Canadian Moose to lower its guard.

She got home, I had forgotten what I was doing and was watching tv and drinking on the couch. I was no longer wearing pants.

Things went normally, she greeted me, and made a sandwich. I didn't get one.

Undaunted, I snuck to the kitchen as she went to the bathroom and hid the ring under some mouldy bread that she'd left out, deciding it unfit to be part of the sandwich she'd made. I took half, to signify our shared lives together after this day.

She got back, I'd made it back to the couch so she'd not noticed I had moved.

"The kitchen is really gross, what's with all this old ass bread on the counter??" I asked

"Shut up, I'm cleaning it"

She cleaned the counter. Any minute now.

I sat and waited.

No response.

I got up and looked around...

She'd thrown the ring in the garbage.

Thinking quickly, I fished it out and put it under the old lettuce she'd left out from the sandwich. No way the same thing could fail twice!

"What the fuck is this?" she asked. Success.

"What the fuck is what?" I replied

"What the fuck is this?" The ring was in my face now. Clearly she'd discovered it.

"Oh that. I thought we should get this down on paper in case you try and take my couch or something."

And now we have a place, music, photographer, food and booze to get married with next June.

THE END.

*maybe top 100

**members with "Jesus" in their name. Spelled correctly.

tl;dr
fuck-off-smokers.jpg

hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
babyeatingjesus on
«1345

Posts

  • TrellTrell __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2008
    not reading this take it to your livejournal or whatever

    Trell on
    ori's modding is stupid and arbitrary and based on no actual rule system but rather wind patterns and astrology.
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    HI5

    Kovak on
  • JohnHamJohnHam Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    trellllll noo

    JohnHam on
    signature.png

  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    man if there's like one time a dude gets to make a thread about like his shitty life

    its when he gets all married i think

    Kovak on
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Congratulations Jesus!

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    Congratulations Jesus!

    This is one of my favorite sentences to say.

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    Did she know you got the ring out of a trashcan?
    Congrats

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    HI5! Thanks

    Oh, Trell!

    I can't believe she still said yes after finding her ring in garbage.

    I told her later that now she has to constantly clean up messes because now there's a precedent! Could be Diamonds in there!

    babyeatingjesus on
    hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Wow, now this is the stuff of a Nicholas Sparks novel right here.

    Top notch romancin', Lord.

    NotASenator on
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    hurray marriage!

    Tossrock on
    sig.png
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    If I ever propose to a lady, I want it to be in some awkward way.

    Hide the ring in her towel before she gets out of the shower.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    "She got home, I had forgotten what I was doing and was watching tv and drinking on the couch. I was no longer wearing pants."

    Favorite part of the story.
    Well told.

    Congrats

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
  • babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    If I ever propose to a lady, I want it to be in some awkward way.

    Hide the ring in her towel before she gets out of the shower.

    Put it in the reservoir tip of the condom.

    It's for sure rip, so she'll have to say yes!

    babyeatingjesus on
    hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Congrats!

    Ringo on
    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    What is it with you people and hiding things in strange places for girls to find. My husband was on the can and he shouted at me to put the wet laundry in the dryer and I was all "lazy ass mofo can't do it himself when he stops shitting" so I go to do it like a good little wife and the asshole had put a Wii Fit in the dryer.

    THE CHEEK OF YOU PEOPLE
    Congratulations! That is a good story. A++ would read again.

    Quoth on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Here's the thing.


    Everyone she tells is going to ask "how did he propose", and she's gonna have to tell all about you and your no-pants trash ring.

    NotASenator on
  • bowtiedsealbowtiedseal Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    congratulations!

    If I ever propose to a lady, I want it to be in some awkward way.

    Hide the ring in her towel before she gets out of the shower.

    my friend's older brother proposed by putting the ring on top of the bar of soap in her shower

    bowtiedseal on
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I swear the amount of people who want to hide the ring somewhere and oh boy what a surprise the bride to be throws it out or it gets lost or stolen or whatever.

    I wish men would just man up and do the on one knee regular style for once. It is tried and tested.

    Under mouldy bread? Really.

    Also, congratulations. You recovered with a pretty damn decent line.

    The_Scarab on
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    If I ever propose to a lady, I want it to be in some awkward way.

    Hide the ring in her towel before she gets out of the shower.

    Put it in the reservoir tip of the condom.

    It's for sure rip, so she'll have to say yes!
    What the hell is a condom?

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Damn this is like the third damn marriage thread.

    Moriveth on
  • babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Here's the thing.


    Everyone she tells is going to ask "how did he propose", and she's gonna have to tell all about you and your no-pants trash ring.

    I skipped her family dinner the next weekend and she had to tell the story and she came back and was like "Your such an asshole"

    I give it a year.

    babyeatingjesus on
    hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    congratulations!

    If I ever propose to a lady, I want it to be in some awkward way.

    Hide the ring in her towel before she gets out of the shower.

    my friend's older brother proposed by putting the ring on top of the bar of soap in her shower
    Maybe put it in her shampoo bottle.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Here's the thing.


    Everyone she tells is going to ask "how did he propose", and she's gonna have to tell all about you and your no-pants trash ring.

    I skipped her family dinner the next weekend and she had to tell the story and she came back and was like "Your such an asshole"

    I give it a year.

    All I did was a little thing involving a christmas tree and Leanna got frustrated with explaining it. But she said yes anyways, so the drugs are working, and congrats!

    NotASenator on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    im going to propose by throwing the ring up onto her

    Kovak on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    go down on one knee

    start coughing

    and bam

    like a pelican feeding its young

    Kovak on
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2008
    I figure paying the shipping charge counts as a proposal

    Me Too! on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    have it ooze out of your leg wound, Kovak

    NotASenator on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    have it ooze out of your leg wound, Kovak

    all

    hey hey i think theres something wrong you wanna look at this

    yeah no i dont think diamonds are naturally occurring inside the thigh

    Kovak on
  • bowtiedsealbowtiedseal Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    my brother proposed at the hot springs somewhere around here and probably did the whole down-on-one-knee-say-a-lot-of-sappy-things bit. he's getting married on saturday

    bowtiedseal on
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Throwing a ring up sounds classy

    Monkeyfeet on
    sig1.jpg
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2008
    While you're fingering her be like
    What
    What's this
    BAM it's a ring

    Me Too! on
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Lol! wrote: »
    While you're fingering her be like
    What
    What's this
    BAM it's a ring

    Actually, have it the other way around, and she pulls her hand out and oh look the ring is already on there we're hitched!

    The_Scarab on
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I hate you

    Monkeyfeet on
    sig1.jpg
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Actually, I came swooping in, hanging off the side of a Huey, firing a custom built M50 machine gun fitted to 1/2 carat shells.

    I gave her a good running start and any diamonds that hit her she got to keep.

    Unfortunately for my budget, I didn't take into account the fact that she's not a very fast runner and that I would enjoy it so much.

    NotASenator on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    im going to shit the ring out on a hotel bed

    and then steal the tip

    Kovak on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I proposed in bed.

    Aww yeah. 8-)

    Moriveth on
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    So i guess this a good time to clarify.

    Why did Shibby shit on the bed? Was it a sickness or a sex thing?

    Monkeyfeet on
    sig1.jpg
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    Maybe I'll pull a spider-man and hide the ring in my hand.

    Fucking her, pull out cum in my hand, place the ring in it and throw it in her face as I'm screaming 'Marry me bitch!'

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    So i guess this a good time to clarify.

    Why did Shibby shit on the bed? Was it a sickness or a sex thing?
    Food poisoning.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Damn this is like the third damn marriage thread.

    Hey, you were already on your knees.

    NotASenator on
Sign In or Register to comment.