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So, I'm depressed in an easily solvable situation
LibrarianThorne
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I've just moved to Austin, Texas. I'm roughly 1150 miles from any family and friends. I know no one here, and have no one I can lean on for help. I am, for the first time in my life, totally alone and I'm fucking terrified. I've never owned an apartment before nor had to subsist on my own savings for longer than 3 months. I find myself gripped in crippling fear and a devastating sense of loss as I've ended my previous life in Ohio. I'm worried because I don't have a roommate (and my listing on craigslist has not brought forth... sterling applicants) and I've got this $750/mo. place to support by myself. Also, I don't drive (total fear grips me whenever I see oncoming traffic and I'm behind the driver's seat, to the point that I drive extremely recklessly) and I don't have a job yet.
Now, the hell of it is, this move is what I needed to do. There are jobs in this city that I desperately want to work, and there's a ton more room for economic advancement and success here than in Ohio. Also, the three months I was subsisting on my own funds? Those were in Japan. I'm extremely confident in my ability to eventually work all of this out. I've never before experienced such a clash between what I know and what I feel emotionally.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Now, the hell of it is, this move is what I needed to do. There are jobs in this city that I desperately want to work, and there's a ton more room for economic advancement and success here than in Ohio. Also, the three months I was subsisting on my own funds? Those were in Japan. I'm extremely confident in my ability to eventually work all of this out. I've never before experienced such a clash between what I know and what I feel emotionally.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
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Other than that, all I can say is, be fucking glad you got out of Ohio. Worst state of the North by far.
Really, the only thing Indiana has on Ohio is Indianapolis and GenCon. Michigan is, IIRC, a bigger shithole than Ohio but that particular title is up for grabs this year, I think.
Still, I knew tons of people in Ohio. I keep thinking that I could take the $14,000 I'm using for my move in and living in Austin to start a political career there in Ohio and work my way into Congress. I moved to Austin to find jobs in the video game industry, and within the past two weeks two major game companies (NCSoft and Midway) have shuttered offices here. So, basically, I've bet all my startup capital on my dream job and I'm incredibly worried about blowing all of it on a pipe dream.
You are not going to find that dream job right off the bat. Especially in a college town like Austin, where there are a buttload of college educated people who are pouncing on every job out there.
And there's still EA/Bioware and Retro studios for your dream job. Your best bet is getting a job at Dell or one of the many semiconductor companies in Austin. What do you have a degree/ work experience in?
Also, you're going to have to get over your fear of driving. Unless you are right downtown or just a little off 183, Capital Metro isn't going to help you.
Really, just slap yourself in the face, and get a job at any place to pass the time/pay for your apartment, and get your bearings on the city. You'll be just like half the other people in the city since next week is the start of the new semester for UTA/St. Edward's. You're just sulking right now with buyer's remorse.
Also, definitely get over your driving thing. We have okay public transport here, but the city's still pretty spread out. Make liberal use of Google's public transport mapping anyway, but I sure wouldn't want to be without my car and bike here.
The really grating thing about all of this is that I know I'm better than what I'm feeling. I know that I can land the jobs I need to. But I'm all emotionally fucked right now. The more distance I have from the move-in date, the better I'll feel, and I know that. Really, I suspect that once I find a local comic or gaming shop I'll be fine, I'm just incredibly uncomfortable by myself.
First thing is, get into a routine. Spend some time jobhunting every day, spend time working out, hitting the game store, whatever it is you do. Getting a routine established is something that really helps me stay productive, which helps me stay happy.
The advice about public counseling is good; there are more resources out there than you probably realize, even in Texas.
Last, dude, you got the internet, it shouldn't be too hard to find stuff you like to do, whether that's a game store or a gym or whatever else. This kinda dovetails with getting a routine established.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
try to find a job any and every way you can. online job searches, sending resumes directly to companies that might need you, scanning newspapers, etc.
Hmm, the only comic/games store I can think of up in your area is Wonko's, which is more comics than games. Even then, not the most awesome store in the world. If you can manage to get over to Burnet and 2222, that's where Dragon's Lair is, and that's the biggest/best store of its type that I've found here.
If you're really hard up for a job, I can get you the info to get a shitty data entry job at the company I work for, running the Children's Health Insurance Program for the State. It's certainly not game development, but it pays the bills (~$23,000, plus almost certain mandatory overtime this time of year). A lot of younger people work there, so it's great for meeting new people. It's in South Austin, but there's a bus stop right next door. PM me if you're interested.
If you're dead set on getting a dev job right away, there are a ton of smaller companies here that will take people with less experience if you can impress them. You might be making cell phone games, but you'll be getting that valuable experience to get your dream job later.
Anyway, the class wasn't even that expensive, and it gets me a good break on my insurance. Maybe you could try that?
Now I'm a regular car enthusiast, and when I'm actually behind the wheel it's almost therapeutic.
I haven't lived in Austin since 2004, but I remember Austin Books being a lot better for comics, at least. And, it's right off Lamar so if OP can get to the 1 Bus (I think that's the Lamar line) it's right there. Austin's mass transport isn't that bad, but expect to make multiple transfers and such judging from where you are. Austin driving is really easy if you avoid rush hour. I had a friend who lived out at Lakeline during our senior year, and he managed to get onto campus via mass transit. It's possible, just crazy inconvenient (his 25-minute drive became a 70 minute bus ride). I used to take the PRC bus from Burnet/183 to get to campus my senior year, too. Well, for a week, then I just decided to drive.
Also, isn't Austin getting a light rail system at some point?