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General problems, tldr at bottom.
Lackadaisical
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
In the last three years I’ve been treated for (and am still undergoing treatment for thyroid cancer.) I’ve gone on three dates with a girl I really liked, but she stopped picking-up after the third date just before a cancer related surgery, and one date with yet another girl I really liked—she stopped picking up after that.
I’ve become a borderline alcoholic, hell, who am I kidding? I am an alcoholic. I think about it all of the time, drink it when I can afford it, and it does get in the way of both my hobbies, and sometimes even my family.
I’m twenty-one years old and going off to a wonderful college, but I have yet to meet my roommates and in preparation I moved in with some friends (to get used to the not being at home thing.) In the course of this I’ve gained ~fifteen pounds which puts me at a total of ~330 (I’m only 6”2’ [is this right? I forget if the quotations go after the feet or the inches…fuck.]) I know I should exercise, I know about it so well that I think about doing it constantly. Hence the problem, I think I should, you know, tomorrow.
I’m insanely depressed all of the time and my inadequacies prevent me from admitting it to people when they ask the seemingly common question of, “What’s Wrong?” I’m incredibly lonely, a general fuck-up, and have often thought of, and wished, of dying (not healthy, I know.) Although I've thought about suicide I've elected on general principle that it would be wrong to take my own life, as it would just be one large fucking cliche. (On a side-not, how do you do the e with the little mark above it for cliche?)
TLDR: Lonely, depressed, alcoholic, virgin, general pussy seeks help from random forum strangers.
PS: Still addicted to WoW. Was a losing battle for me, and I think it will be until the end of time, or a greater distraction (hopefully Diablo 3) comes along.
I’ve become a borderline alcoholic, hell, who am I kidding? I am an alcoholic. I think about it all of the time, drink it when I can afford it, and it does get in the way of both my hobbies, and sometimes even my family.
I’m twenty-one years old and going off to a wonderful college, but I have yet to meet my roommates and in preparation I moved in with some friends (to get used to the not being at home thing.) In the course of this I’ve gained ~fifteen pounds which puts me at a total of ~330 (I’m only 6”2’ [is this right? I forget if the quotations go after the feet or the inches…fuck.]) I know I should exercise, I know about it so well that I think about doing it constantly. Hence the problem, I think I should, you know, tomorrow.
I’m insanely depressed all of the time and my inadequacies prevent me from admitting it to people when they ask the seemingly common question of, “What’s Wrong?” I’m incredibly lonely, a general fuck-up, and have often thought of, and wished, of dying (not healthy, I know.) Although I've thought about suicide I've elected on general principle that it would be wrong to take my own life, as it would just be one large fucking cliche. (On a side-not, how do you do the e with the little mark above it for cliche?)
TLDR: Lonely, depressed, alcoholic, virgin, general pussy seeks help from random forum strangers.
PS: Still addicted to WoW. Was a losing battle for me, and I think it will be until the end of time, or a greater distraction (hopefully Diablo 3) comes along.
It's a warm feeling when you realize that people share your views...
Sandra Lee and Rachel Ray raped food.
Lackadaisical on
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As for the virginity thing...that will work itself out.
I like WoW too, don't beat yourself up over it. Can't wait for D3 either.
Edit: sorry, virginity? Respect it dude. Really. Don't let society pressure you into it it. I let myself get pushed into it at a younger age, and I do regret it sometimes.
Aside from that, exercise. You already know its a good idea, and it IS hard to start, but this is something that is critical. Many of your issues are tied to your own sense of self-worth, which in turn is tied to how you view your appearance. Start that exercising, FORCE yourself to do it, not later, but today. Right now. Start reading the Fitness thread, theres plenty of exercises big guys like yourself can start doing that dont need any equipment at all. Theres also plenty of diet advice in there. Accept that you will have to make some BIG changes in your life. Trust me, you will look better fairly quickly, but you will FEEL better very quickly. A better life is not something that just happens to you, it takes concentrated effort, and you need to start straight away.
As for suicide? Think of it as the last, and biggest, mistake you could ever make with your life. One which you never get a chance to fix or redeem.
Other things can be more fulfilling and I encourage you to explore your options and the world around you - hobbies and the like.
I was pressured into it by a girl who I will unabashedly call absolutely batshit insane. I was extremely drunk (yay for underage drinking) and couldn't really say no even if I wasn't (because I used to be a pushover and was taken advantage of in many ways daily). No protection was used (I was drunk and had no idea what was going on. She, as I have said, is batshit crazy)
Guess what the result was?
She got pregnant, and sprung this news on me pretty much a month before she decided something very insane which I will not reveal the details of.
She lost the baby, and I was lumped with an absolutely horrifying first experience, as well as a very unhealthy case of guilt that I couldn't do anything.
Virginity is a delicate thing, and you shouldn't lose it until you're ready.
I wouldnt sweat the virgin stuff, and the weight problem. Both of them are not permanent afflictions. Your school probably has a nicely equipped gym, and college environment is ideal for meeting new and interesting people. And a combination of both of these things can a lot of times yield a romantic rendezvous.
Don't beat yourself up over playing WoW. I played WoW for 2-3 years, during which time I had almost 200 days /played (I spent about eight months pretty much playing WoW and nothing else). Then I quit because of relationship stuff, and haven't looked back since. I don't regret the time I spent playing it. I enjoyed it, I was happy. If you enjoy it, you don't need to feel guilty about it. Hell, if you're like me, it's probably saving you money because you don't need to buy new games every other week. Just try not to let it get in the way of college.
And I strongly recommend counseling. Being depressed sucks and isn't something you can always just shrug off. Talking to someone that knows how that stuff works helps. They may be able to help you with your drinking too, or if need be, refer you to an alcoholic support group.
i know the sex thing sucks. hormones and all... but suck it up. when you get out of college you'll be sitting pretty with a nice job and a nice car. girls like guys that have their shit together. if yer lucky you'll have a woman sometime in college. it's bound to happen if you just put yourself out there.
And yes, I am 100 percent serious.
Sounds like we have a volunteer mentor here:P
I made the decision to quit cold turkey. This is something you have to do. You have to want to get better in any addiction case. So my solution was to sell my account. I had a very powerful character at the time that I spent a lot of effort on. And losing that, through any means, would completely deter me from ever wanting to go back to the game. Now my account wound up getting stolen when I tried to sell it but it was the best thing to ever happen. The only time I think about WoW now is when there's news on a gaming site. You could also do things in game to get yourself perma banned, that's another way of getting rid of the game.
Also, someone mentioned exercise in this thread. I can't tell you how good exercise is. I personally hate gyms and repetative exercise. What do I do? Bike ride. Everywhere that's reasonable. I need to go the store up town? Get the back pack and get on the bike. It's great exercise, it's stress relieving and it's cheap. By not driving, I've saved so much money in gas and lost 20 lbs this summer alone riding 2-3 times a week. I've also discovered a lot of random trails in my area that are great explorations of the neighborhood. I know that part doesn't really work if you live in an urban area, but off roading is a great challenge. Keeping the bike steady, avoiding rocks that'll wipe you out and it's just more difficult than street biking (plus, no lycra necessary, I shudder at the thought).
TLDR: Quit WoW cold turkey and start exercising. You'll feel a lot better about yourself.
Really, asking for help is going to be tough for you, but once you get that part down, I think you'll do better in general. You're going through cancer, for christsakes; you shouldn't be doing this alone.
Two addictions at once are notoriously hard to battle. If I were you, I'd work on quitting drinking, since that one will directly improve your health. Taking a guess, I'd say you're seeking out an escape from your depression and your other, more concrete problems, but alcohol and obsessive gaming only get you away from things temporarily. Seek out an AA group and, again, see a therapist.
It sounds like you have a tough road towards getting better, but if you want to turn your life around, you absolutely can do it. I know it seems like a big knot of problems right now, but start untangling them steadily and it'll get easier and easier.
You can develop a mental dependency for it. It works on the same areas of the brain that gambling or shopping does. When you buy an item, you feel good. When you order an item and find the package waiting on your step, you feel good. When you win at a slot machine, you feel really good.
When you find a stone of jordan in diablo 2...oh you better bet you feel good.
There's also the feeling of not being alone because you're surrounded by many others doing the same thing.
It's just a mental addiction to the feel good sensation provided by the experience. That is really diminished once you leave the game though and realize how much time you've spent with it.
I have a mental addiction to diet coke and some games, but my method of dealing with it is - out of sight, out of mind. If you don't have it in your house, you won't use it, and will ultimately be more productive because of your decision.
a video game addiction is nowhere near the same as a chemical addiction. but, i guess if you can call gambling an addiction, you can call this that too.
Your problems can be overcome, but you have to take the shot.
First, go see a therapist or counselor. You're going to college, and most colleges have free services available for such things, check into them.
Second: about the weight issue. Get on a regular exercise program, if it's 2-3 times a week it will see you through. I'd say focus more on cardio and light weight exercises in the beginning, as your endurance for the exercises increases, your endurance for other things will as well.
I will add this; you have actually been on dates with people. I will be turning 24 soon, and my experience in that direction is absolutely 0. So when it comes to that, you actually have a leg up on me.
I know that it may seem like a lot of weight to lose, but it can be done. There's been a couple of threads about weight here in PA and I'm always surprised by how many people share their stories of losing weight.
As to the weight thing, you might try buying a bathroom scale and logging your weight daily as well as a general summary of what you ate that day. Some people, especially gamers, get addicted to logging and categorizing stats, so it can start to be kind of fun if you're realistic about it. Also find out the calorie count in some of the foods you eat most of, and most importantly cut soda straight out of your diet. (Go to the workout thread for all sorts of help in this dept.)
Oh yeah...and therapy for sure. Having a non judgemental person listen to your problems can help wonders.
For me, I recognized the social aspect of WoW to be a big draw. How much time do you actually spend doing things compared to how much time you spend talking to your guild on vent while doing circles 'round Shattrath? If that's the case, then just surrounding yourself with your real life friends rather than your guildies should help.
I'm not huge on exercise either, but if you wanted you could double your time by reading a book on an exercise bike at the gym. Personally, I took up rollerblading a few days a week and generally eating healthier without going too much out of my way. Switching from light butter popcorn to healthy pop saves more calories than you'd think for not too much of a knock to the taste. Fat free milk, having an apple and cheese stick instead of cookies or chips, eating a healthier breakfast cereal are all pretty easy changes to make that'll probably save you upwards of a thousand calories over the course of a week. Oh, and a home made meat and cheese sandwich instead of fast food for lunch is cheap, easy, and good for you.
As for suicide? Vash the Stampede disapproves of it more than anything, so that should tell you flat out that it isn't a good solution. Neither is drinking. Shit's expensive and very high in the carb/calorie department, but I think you're going to need more than just the help of a fellow forumer to break you of that chemical dependency.