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The Bad Sex in Fiction Awards (SFW)

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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Zyrelax wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    So I'm watching Mary Reilly, and oh my god Julia Roberts is doing the worst Irish accent I've ever heard. If it weren't for the fact that John Malkovich is the coolest Dr. Jekyll ever, I'd have given up five minutes in.

    You think that's bad, watch her in Michael Collins next.

    I'd rather watch her in a tub of alcohol after losing a swimming contest with Jaws.

    Darth Waiter on
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    scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Whoa, blast from the past. What it be, dude?
    I'm hangin' out on my deck, bored because I don't have a job and school hasn't started. I wish I were doing something to make money or at least, I dunno, improve myself intellectually.

    Intellectual bankruptcy must be avoided at all costs; quickly, young one, find some string theory and bat it around with your cat!

    Yeah, I'm in between jobs myself and it blows ass; on the plus side, I do have scads of time to play with myself. And by "play with myself" I mean jerking off and playing video games.

    It's a great two-for-one combo.

    Scads of time. It's good.

    The thing is, I'm hopelessly retarded. Scarlet Ave. got all the smarts and all my genes allowed were for me to grow an inch or two taller than him. I guess that's why I drink.

    I just bought all of the books for my classes in the fall, so I've got plenty to read through this next nine weeks. Goddamn things cost me $325 and almost all of them are used. That's as much as a person with a real major who will actually make money when they graduate. What the hell, lib arts.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    What the hell, lib arts.

    Don't worry overmuch about employment; the world can always use landscapers who speak English.

    Don't ask me how I know.

    Darth Waiter on
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    J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Zyrelax wrote: »
    The sex scenes in Laura Joh Rowland's Sano Ichiro series. They aren't necessarily bad, it's just difficult to believe that everyone in Edo period Japan is obsessed with kinky sex. Well, maybe slightly believeable, but even the rarely introduced "foreigner" characters have BDSM fetishes.

    Man ain't you ever read about that Edo business let me tell you they had it going on.

    Seriously hit that shit up on wikipedia or something, dashman dash.

    J3p on
    +./\ 50 ?. 50
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    ZyrelaxZyrelax Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    J3p wrote: »
    Zyrelax wrote: »
    The sex scenes in Laura Joh Rowland's Sano Ichiro series. They aren't necessarily bad, it's just difficult to believe that everyone in Edo period Japan is obsessed with kinky sex. Well, maybe slightly believeable, but even the rarely introduced "foreigner" characters have BDSM fetishes.

    Man ain't you ever read about that Edo business let me tell you they had it going on.

    Seriously hit that shit up on wikipedia or something, dashman dash.


    I freely admit that my knowledge of Edo period sex practices is at best undeveloped.

    Zyrelax on
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    God, it's like she's trying to speak Irish with a tiny Scarlett O'Hara lodged in her sinuses.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    ZyrelaxZyrelax Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Jedoc wrote: »
    God, it's like she's trying to speak Irish with a tiny Scarlett O'Hara lodged in her sinuses.

    Dude, in Michael Collins she sings like that.

    Zyrelax on
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    It looks like Michael Collins is on Netflix's streaming service, but I'm scared. I'm so scared, Zyrelax.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against Russian warships) Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Zyrelax wrote: »
    J3p wrote: »
    Zyrelax wrote: »
    The sex scenes in Laura Joh Rowland's Sano Ichiro series. They aren't necessarily bad, it's just difficult to believe that everyone in Edo period Japan is obsessed with kinky sex. Well, maybe slightly believeable, but even the rarely introduced "foreigner" characters have BDSM fetishes.

    Man ain't you ever read about that Edo business let me tell you they had it going on.

    Seriously hit that shit up on wikipedia or something, dashman dash.


    I freely admit that my knowledge of Edo period sex practices is at best undeveloped.
    It doesn't matter what they were actually doing in the Edo period, the scenes in her books are still atrocious. I think I literally sat there for a minute, going, WTF just after going through a scene where a woman ponders on just how wet having a physical altercation with her husband-to-be made her.

    Gabriel_Pitt on
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    ZyrelaxZyrelax Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Zyrelax wrote: »
    J3p wrote: »
    Zyrelax wrote: »
    The sex scenes in Laura Joh Rowland's Sano Ichiro series. They aren't necessarily bad, it's just difficult to believe that everyone in Edo period Japan is obsessed with kinky sex. Well, maybe slightly believeable, but even the rarely introduced "foreigner" characters have BDSM fetishes.

    Man ain't you ever read about that Edo business let me tell you they had it going on.

    Seriously hit that shit up on wikipedia or something, dashman dash.


    I freely admit that my knowledge of Edo period sex practices is at best undeveloped.
    It doesn't matter what they were actually doing in the Edo period, the scenes in her books are still atrocious. I think I literally sat there for a minute, going, WTF just after going through a scene where a woman ponders on just how wet having a physical altercation with her husband-to-be made her.

    Things like this, which are a regular event in her books, is mainly what I was talking about.

    Zyrelax on
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    ZyrelaxZyrelax Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Jedoc wrote: »
    It looks like Michael Collins is on Netflix's streaming service, but I'm scared. I'm so scared, Zyrelax.

    Don't do it, aside from the ultra-violence it's a crap-fest.

    Zyrelax on
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    scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I'll keep you guys updated with the sex I find in this selection of Chinese and Japanese lit

    Photo141.jpg

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    my bet's on Southern Exposure

    Skull Man on
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    scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    $325

    fuck that

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
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