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My boss just found out about my criminal record (and other tales of employment)

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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    that makes you:

    some whiny fag from the internet

    CrackedLens on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    ps you'se a big sluuuuuuuut

    lostwords on
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    DeicistDeicist Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    i like when my cat is laying on top of some comforters, and i sneak an arm or a leg underneath, then start messing with him through the comforters and he starts attacking the comforter and going crazy and haha sucka, your bites and scratches won't work on me.

    He will kill you in your sleep and eat your fucking flesh.

    Deicist on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    My new kitten has taken to sliding under the covers like some covert toe biting assassin. The only thing that gives her away is the loud purring as she's about to attack my feet.

    Hunter on
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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I have no problem with cats sitting on my knee but they always like to make bread on my bare skin

    Janson on
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    Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Okay. I read this last page first and was like "mildly amusing"

    Then I went back to page 14 and was readin.

    Then I came back...and busted out laughing. Tearing up too. Good stuff.

    Anyway, anyone know anything about what a broker should do/say?

    Goose! on
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    DeicistDeicist Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Janson wrote: »
    I have no problem with cats sitting on my knee but they always like to make bread on my bare skin

    Boobs?

    My cat always goes for the squishyist part of the body. On me, embarrassingly that's my tummy. On my missus it's the boobs.

    Deicist on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Tallus wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    i like when my cat is laying on top of some comforters, and i sneak an arm or a leg underneath, then start messing with him through the comforters and he starts attacking the comforter and going crazy and haha sucka, your bites and scratches won't work on me.

    He will kill you in your sleep and eat your fucking flesh.

    then he won't have anyone to open the cans of catfood for him. i better watch myself when he finally learns how to use a can opener or that tin can peel back thingie

    lostwords on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Yesterday morning when I woke up it felt like I was lying on a lump so I roll over and I'd been half lying on top of the dog. She was just "whatevs"

    Weaver on
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Janson wrote: »
    I have no problem with cats sitting on my knee but they always like to make bread on my bare skin

    My parent's cats do that. I'll be layin on the couch at their place and up hops Dufus, starts kneading away at my gut.

    Thanks Dufus, yes I know I have a bit of flab.

    Ruckus on
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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Tallus wrote: »
    Janson wrote: »
    I have no problem with cats sitting on my knee but they always like to make bread on my bare skin

    Boobs?

    My cat always goes for the squishyist part of the body. On me, embarrassingly that's my tummy. On my missus it's the boobs.
    The cat I am thinking of likes the non-squishy parts

    If I am wearing a skirt, he attacks my bare knees

    If I am wearing trousers, he attacks my wrist/lower arm

    If I am in bed, he attacks my head

    Attacks = making bread which is cute but not quite so cute when it's done with sharp claws on bare skin owww

    Janson on
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Evolution, Baby. (thread evolution)

    Ruckus on
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    DeicistDeicist Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Ruckus wrote: »
    Janson wrote: »
    I have no problem with cats sitting on my knee but they always like to make bread on my bare skin

    My parent's cats do that. I'll be layin on the couch at their place and up hops Dufus, starts kneading away at my gut.

    Thanks Dufus, yes I know I have a bit of flab.

    Cats: no friend to tact.

    Deicist on
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    an ex girlfriend's cat used to climb up on the couch behind me and lick/gnaw on my head for some reason

    Druhim on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    my sister had a cat for hears that would slobber and try to find a nipple to suck on anytime it kneaded bread

    this cat was like 16 years old and doing this

    CrackedLens on
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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Oh man, dogs

    My parents' dogs are such clumsy creatures

    They're always banging into things and people but don't seem to care

    Their favourite place to nap is under the dinner table (dropped scraps + we get to rub their bellies with our feet when we're sitting down), all tangled up with the table and chair legs. So many paws have accidentally been trodden on

    Lara likes to sleep on shoes. She'll pick out four or five of the pointiest, hardest shoes and plonk herself down on them

    Both dogs wag with their entire bodies. Wag-crash-wag-crash as they manoeuvre in and out of the furniture

    Janson on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    our youngest cat is affectionate as hell but also clingy as balls. like he'll always come up to you when you're just chilling on the couch, and lay on your lap. but heaven forbid you try to get up because he'll hang on to your jeans or shirt with his claws and doesn't let go.

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    DeicistDeicist Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Dogs are awesome: big clumsy stupid slobbery woofties.

    Cats are pretty cool, but you always feel like they're hiding something. Like their ultimate disdain for you.

    Deicist on
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    some old friends in boise had several dogs and one of the females they liked to joke was lesbian because she'd try to hump anything and if you were sitting and crossed your legs so one foot was in midair, she would back into it and hump it
    it was hilarious unless it was happening to you

    Druhim on
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    our youngest cat is affectionate as hell but also clingy as balls. like he'll always come up to you when you're just chilling on the couch, and lay on your lap. but heaven forbid you try to get up because he'll hang on to your jeans or shirt with his claws and doesn't let go.

    My parents live in a small town so the cats are allowed out whenever, and pretty much range where ever they want. When Dad or myself goes down to the street to the Fire Station, if Dufus is outside she'll follow us there, come inside, play around in the hall, then follow us back home again.

    Whenever my siblings or myself are out, we are either careful to shut our car windows or check our vehicle for hitchhikers before we leave.

    Ruckus on
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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    ben_02.jpg

    Janson on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    hahaha

    CrackedLens on
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    RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    JESUS LOOKOUT KITTY HE'S GOT A FORK

    Ruckus on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    synthetic orange is gonna eat that cat

    CrackedLens on
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    RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    synthetic orange is gonna eat that cat

    Well he is korean




    Maybe

    Redeemer on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    i was hoping somebody would pick up on the asian/cat eater joke

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    RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I love SO

    Just throwing that out there

    Redeemer on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    as do i

    also, deemer, i miss your jerri blank theme

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    MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Janson wrote: »
    Oh man, dogs

    My parents' dogs are such clumsy creatures

    They're always banging into things and people but don't seem to care

    Their favourite place to nap is under the dinner table (dropped scraps + we get to rub their bellies with our feet when we're sitting down), all tangled up with the table and chair legs. So many paws have accidentally been trodden on

    Lara likes to sleep on shoes. She'll pick out four or five of the pointiest, hardest shoes and plonk herself down on them

    Both dogs wag with their entire bodies. Wag-crash-wag-crash as they manoeuvre in and out of the furniture

    Are they labs?

    My dog does this. it's especially funny when she hits the cats in the face.

    MikeRyu on
    Ranmasig5.png
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    RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    If it helps, I like to imagine that Jerri is pretty much what Ms. Marvel would be without powers

    Redeemer on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    i'm glad this turned into a pet thread

    IMG_0748.jpg

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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    ha

    it actually does help a little

    CrackedLens on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    i'm glad this turned into a pet thread

    IMG_0748.jpg

    that cat wants to engage in fisticuffs

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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    he was so serious about grabbing the little dangly camera cord. then he fell flat on his face

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    RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I should've gotten a cat instead of a dog

    Now that I'm out most of the day I have to keep Rocky in his crate, and it tears me apart, because I hate him being in there for so long

    Redeemer on
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    MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    A crate?

    MikeRyu on
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    you know, a dog carrier

    Druhim on
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    RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Something like this

    remingtonDogCrate.jpg

    Makes me feel so bad

    Redeemer on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Tallus wrote: »
    Furries are a weird breed.

    Like some are "Oh my god what are you doing." furries. People who wear costumes and so forth. "Fursonas."

    And then some are like "I could see myself getting behind this." Like the totally hot furries that you see in some anime and jRPGS.

    Here's a question for you. If I consider myself to be homosexual, but I occasionally see attractive women and for one reason or another rationalize attraction to cartoon animal people, what does that make me?

    Typical SE++ poster?


    Tallus, there was a dude at PAX wearing the flat earth shirt the same day I was wearing my Paramecium cowboy SCIENCE! shirt, but that guy refused to high five me.

    I was upset

    for science.

    NotASenator on
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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Science will teach him a lesson


    with AIDS.

    Dr. Frenchenstein on
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