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My boss just found out about my criminal record (and other tales of employment)

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Posts

  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    ldraw, I was pointing out that it was cool that you had the name ldraw and a minifig in your sig/av

    NotASenator on
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I've decided to leave work today.
    I'm finally going to China tonight yay.

    Blake T on
  • Brodo FagginsBrodo Faggins Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    One of my bosses looked me up on Facebook, found me, and added me as a friend.

    The internet makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

    guess who doesn't show up on facebook searches!

    that's right, it's me!

    I have seven bosses. They have a Facebook group along with all the former interns. Guess who got 7 friend invites? Guess who has recent pics of topless partying?

    woops

    Brodo Faggins on
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  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    One of my bosses looked me up on Facebook, found me, and added me as a friend.

    The internet makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

    My current boss is a friend of mine on facebook. It's awkward when I mention things about rehearsals and he responds

    Fiz on
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  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Blaket wrote: »
    I've decided to leave work today.
    I'm finally going to China tonight yay.

    Is the tunnel ready? How long did it take to dig?

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I just got offered a new job at JT3, defense contractor

    So they're having me do the forms for a Secret/Top Secret clearance, and I come to this question pair:
    a. Have you ever been an officer or a member or made a contribution to an organization dedicated to the violent overthrow of the United States Government and which engages in illegal activities to that end, knowing that the organization engages in such activities with the specific intent to further such activities?
    b. Have you ever knowingly engaged in any acts or activities designed to overthrow the United States Government by force?

    Now on the one hand, the reason they're asking is pretty obvious

    But on the other hand did they really just ask me that?

    Ledneh on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Have you ever made an attempt to overthrow the United States Government... THROUGH INTERPRETIVE DANcE?!

    Fiz on
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  • ldrawldraw Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    ldraw, I was pointing out that it was cool that you had the name ldraw and a minifig in your sig/av

    Yeah, I'm pretty cool like that. 8-)

    ldraw on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    AKA: mdraw, dux, milkman
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    Blaket wrote: »
    I've decided to leave work today.
    I'm finally going to China tonight yay.

    have fun attaching yourself to cliff faces!

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    This thread has taken an unfortunate turn so I'm going to talk about how the kitchen at work has five kinds of loose leaf tea

    I was honestly awed

    Redeemer on
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  • Brodo FagginsBrodo Faggins Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Regarding resume objectives? Most schools of thought now say you don't need one.

    If you're submitting a resume, it's safe to assume you're looking for a job. The cover letter is far more important.

    Early this year I was looking for a summer internship. My résumé is very unimpressive in the field of work I want to go into, as I have little experience. However, in my cover letter, I explained that I am "in extraordinary physical shape, and as such, I guarantee I will never get sick. Thus, I will always be available for coffee runs". I got four job interviews.

    Brodo Faggins on
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  • ldrawldraw Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Regarding resume objectives? Most schools of thought now say you don't need one.

    If you're submitting a resume, it's safe to assume you're looking for a job. The cover letter is far more important.

    Early this year I was looking for a summer internship. My résumé is very unimpressive in the field of work I want to go into, as I have little experience. However, in my cover letter, I explained that I am "in extraordinary physical shape, and as such, I guarantee I will never get sick. Thus, I will always be available for coffee runs". I got four job interviews.

    I think that people find well-executed humor very refreshing, particularly when they've been subjected to functionally identical statements across the past bajillion competing applications.

    My line of work is such that when I apply to jobs my [work] experience is largely meaningless. Luckily I needn't come up with clever responses such as yours to accommodate the general sparseness that, in my estimation, will riddle every section of my resume.

    ldraw on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    AKA: mdraw, dux, milkman
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    It depends on the job, if it's for a low level position then yeah, a joke like that would be good.

    Applying for a more senior role? Don't think it would be too apt.

    Blake T on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    The choir director at the church had me stay after today. I was kind of afraid they were gonna fire me for being gay (because they very well might), but what she needed to say was much worse.

    One of the members of the bass section is pretty close to dying. I would guess his age to be 96 right now, and it really shows. His hearing is starting to go as well and it is making it difficult for him when people are being noisy during rehearsals. They'd ask him to stop singing with the group except I think it is the only thing he is doing now and they really love him.

    But I need to be prepared for him to die in the next few months. Okay.

    Fiz on
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  • NumeroNumero Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Fiz wrote: »
    Have you ever made an attempt to overthrow the United States Government... THROUGH INTERPRETIVE DANcE?!

    "Gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass, gonna FLY on an EAGLE..."

    Numero on
  • Uncle LongUncle Long Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    So, not this summer but last summer I graduated with my BA in English Lit (I know). Ended up taking a job stocking beer for a local distributor. I was basically like the Coke truck driver but with booze. Just pulling up in my truck, putting my shit on the shelf, maybe moving some pallets around with a hi-lo, whatever, and then I'd get the fuck out of there and onto the next store. Eventually I decided that if I was going to be doing something unrelated to my degree I'd actually get paid a decent wage for it, so I got into doing some IT work at a computer store that outsourced to a lot of larger corporations on contract basis.

    Fast-forward a couple of months and I'm still applying to jobs at least tangentially related to my degree and I make good progress with a small newspaper in Wrangell, Alaska.

    One day I'm out on a job and I get a call from the publisher. "Hey, listen, I know you don't have a lot of solid experience, but I like your stuff, and if you can be up here by friday next week a spot has opened up for you."

    I went back to work planning to let my boss know at the end of the day that I'd be leaving within a week. So I'm sitting their futzing with some guy's porn infested Dell when my boss comes back and starts to give me the "hey, you've been doing great work lately, but what would you do if I said that things weren't working out?" I said, "Uh, great. I'm headed off to Alaska. This...uh...this is great timing, thanks." Then I grab my coat and out the door before she can think twice.

    Now I'm in Alaska. I get to work from home whenever I feel like it and can pretty much spend all day either sitting around drinking coffee and working on my own shit or out in the woods trying not to get my day ruined by a bear.

    Actually, this isn't a funny story at all, I just wanted to do a little victory dance. I mean, I think I'm allowed that right? I do live in goddamn Alaska now. Alaska: where the only difference between the girls and whales is the Carhartts.

    Uncle Long on
  • Brodo FagginsBrodo Faggins Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Blaket wrote: »
    It depends on the job, if it's for a low level position then yeah, a joke like that would be good.

    Applying for a more senior role? Don't think it would be too apt.

    For sure. Then again, it is Hollywood, and people are just as interested in finding people that can make compatible co-workers.

    Brodo Faggins on
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  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I just applied for a job working as a part-time assistant manager at the Carrousel Museum (that's how they spell it, right or wrong. AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS.)

    Nothing like working at a place that's open from noon to 4pm four days a week.

    This is going to be the coolest job ever.

    Pkmoutl on
  • SWATJesterSWATJester Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    I just applied for a job working as a part-time assistant manager at the Carrousel Museum (that's how they spell it, right or wrong. AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS.)

    Nothing like working at a place that's open from noon to 4pm four days a week.

    This is going to be the coolest job ever.

    Do you actually get paid anything worthwhile though? I mean, 16 hr/wk isn't going to make you a whole lot of money, unless there's something suitably badass about that museum. Even at $20/hr which is around what a lot of part-timers I know make in academia that's not even making the rent.

    SWATJester on
    Moderator, PAX Prime 08, 09, 10, 10-East, panels on "Legal Issues in Gaming"
    Contributing Editor, http://www.gamepolitics.com
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    HOLIDAY STATUS UPDATE: 1 hour before I finish work!

    Blake T on
  • halkunhalkun Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I have 4 months of savings in the bank and I'm currently unemployed.

    I have a bachelors degree in business and have no idea what do do with it.

    I've never had a real job, and the most I've ever made was $10.00 an hour.

    I think I'm fucked, but I'm not sure. It's awful nice to be able to sleep when I want and get up whenever.

    Maybe I'll pick up WoW tomorrow.

    halkun on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    SWATJester wrote: »
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    I just applied for a job working as a part-time assistant manager at the Carrousel Museum (that's how they spell it, right or wrong. AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS.)

    Nothing like working at a place that's open from noon to 4pm four days a week.

    This is going to be the coolest job ever.

    Do you actually get paid anything worthwhile though? I mean, 16 hr/wk isn't going to make you a whole lot of money, unless there's something suitably badass about that museum. Even at $20/hr which is around what a lot of part-timers I know make in academia that's not even making the rent.

    My wife is an RN. She's the breadwinner of the family.

    Any money I make is basically playtime funds.

    Besides, what job do you think someone with all but 2 classes of an MA in English, a BA in Broadcasting and 9 years of experience in a totally unrelated field is really going to find? Other than working at Fat Fuck's Pizza?

    Pkmoutl on
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    My last day of work all alone!

    Janson on
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Janson wrote: »
    My last day of work all alone!

    All alone? Did everyone leave?

    MikeRyu on
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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    All alone in my room

    My beautiful, big office

    :'(

    Janson on
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Aw shucks. But on the other hand it's your last day and you're on your own. You can do anything!

    MikeRyu on
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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Ah, but it's not quite my last day

    I have to train the new girl next week

    Janson on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Train her to do everything wrong, and tell her that the boss likes to be called "Sweet Cheeks."

    That's what I would have done.

    Maybe that's why they didn't hire my replacement until after I left....

    Pkmoutl on
  • SWATJesterSWATJester Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    halkun wrote: »
    I have 4 months of savings in the bank and I'm currently unemployed.

    I have a bachelors degree in business and have no idea what do do with it.

    I've never had a real job, and the most I've ever made was $10.00 an hour.

    I think I'm fucked, but I'm not sure. It's awful nice to be able to sleep when I want and get up whenever.

    Maybe I'll pick up WoW tomorrow.

    Get your MBA. You won't be doing any real work anyway, so you can continue to play WoW, and be a slackass, but you'll be making more money!

    SWATJester on
    Moderator, PAX Prime 08, 09, 10, 10-East, panels on "Legal Issues in Gaming"
    Contributing Editor, http://www.gamepolitics.com
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Tonight I had a woman bring in a pair of pitbulls she calls "Service Animals" despite neither of them wearing service animal jackets and both of them sporting tumorous growths and shit.

    Yeah.

    Fuck that woman. Her dogs in the store constitute health violation unless they are service animals and she has the papers to prove it.

    Oh, and nobody uses pitbulls as service animals because they are intimidating as fuck and dangerous.

    And then who but her former landlord walks in the door, a regular customer of ours, and a generally nice dude, and she starts swearing at him and shit for kicking her ass to the curb. So there's a woman throwing F-Bombs at him, holding the leashes of two pitbulls. The dogs were luckily completely unagitated, but the dude still put his hand behind his back where he keeps a can of Mace. In the end she stormed off, and there was no incident.

    Yeah.

    I love my fucking job.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I used to work at a vet.

    Dogs are the worst thing.

    Ever.

    No Great Name on
    PSN: NoGreatName Steam:SirToons Twitch: SirToons
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  • noobertnoobert Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I went from working 6 day weeks and making a mint to studying 5 days and working 1. Now I make sweet fuck all and classes stress me the fuck out.

    Learning is hard guys.

    noobert on
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    My dad is a vet and I helped out there for a bit and one day a duck came in and this duck's bill had been bitten off by a fox - clean off - and there was just a gaping hole where its beak should have been and blood was gushing out all over the duck's white feathery chest

    Janson on
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Oh, and nobody uses pitbulls as service animals because they are intimidating as fuck and dangerous.

    The average pitbull is about as dangerous as, say a 80 lb mace in the hands lf a 10 year old.

    Unless he was trained to use it, he's not likely to hurt anybody.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Janson wrote: »
    My dad is a vet and I helped out there for a bit and one day a duck came in and this duck's bill had been bitten off by a fox - clean off - and there was just a gaping hole where its beak should have been and blood was gushing out all over the duck's white feathery chest

    Anyone got any stories about kittens?

    MikeRyu on
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  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Dear God, Janson. D:

    Goatmon on
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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Yeah I had to hold it while my dad put it down

    D:

    Janson on
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    Janson wrote: »
    My dad is a vet and I helped out there for a bit and one day a duck came in and this duck's bill had been bitten off by a fox - clean off - and there was just a gaping hole where its beak should have been and blood was gushing out all over the duck's white feathery chest

    Anyone got any stories about kittens?
    This is pablo's story:

    One day at the vet thigns were there normal humdrum with people bringing in their dogs and cats for the usual distempers and vaccinations and whatnot. Until someone comes to the door with a kitten that looks on the brink of death.

    Poor little guy had wounds all over him, and the worst was his eye. Rather, his lack of his left eye. Where his eye once was was now just a huge grub feasting on the remains of his socket.

    We removed the grub and he lived a happy life for a week in plastic jar. R.I.P Pablo.

    Also the kitten survived.

    I think. I forget.

    No Great Name on
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  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Oh, and nobody uses pitbulls as service animals because they are intimidating as fuck and dangerous.

    The average pitbull is about as dangerous as, say a 80 lb mace in the hands lf a 10 year old.

    Unless he was trained to use it, he's not likely to hurt anybody.
    That's stupid.

    You're stupid.

    And biased.

    Because you fuck them.

    No Great Name on
    PSN: NoGreatName Steam:SirToons Twitch: SirToons
    sirtoons.png
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Ok I am also biased because I hate dogs more than anything.

    No Great Name on
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This discussion has been closed.