The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
That one spectacular roll, good or bad.
Sonar
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Everyone has a war story of that one die roll which either got them exactly the result they needed and saved the day or the exact die roll they needed to screw the day over.
We had a game in which the players were disiples of good dragons. Being the fated ones the G.M. made up characters which we could play if we wanted too, and each character had decent stats and an 18 in whatever his most needed stat for his character was. I played the leader, a paladin with straight 17's.
We got captured in the underdark and forced to play in a game called "beat the thief". This was supposed to be the humorous part of the story. A light hearted romp.
I get stuck in a foot race against another prisoner which I lost because of a a bad die roll, basically I was faster and should have won but at a critical juncture the GM made us roll off to see if one of us got in the others way. We both beat the target number but I was off by one or something - it was something that shouldnt' have needed a role in the first place.
Anyway I lose. The G.M. then pulls out the punishment chart. 1 - 20 each an entertaining punishment no big deal... except for the 20th punishment.
Now mind you - this was a mature group, no "I kill her and rape her!" or that sort of thing, no toilet humor, everyone was there for the story and the game, not seeing how they could kill the rest of the party or any such rot.
Most punishments were like mud wrestle a female orc or something.
The 20th punishment was "Raped by an ogre with a nail studded club."
I already knew what the roll was going to be.
I looked over at another player and said "I'm screwed."
He responded "That is not what you want to be saying right now."
and the die hit the table, and I left the room.
We had a game in which the players were disiples of good dragons. Being the fated ones the G.M. made up characters which we could play if we wanted too, and each character had decent stats and an 18 in whatever his most needed stat for his character was. I played the leader, a paladin with straight 17's.
We got captured in the underdark and forced to play in a game called "beat the thief". This was supposed to be the humorous part of the story. A light hearted romp.
I get stuck in a foot race against another prisoner which I lost because of a a bad die roll, basically I was faster and should have won but at a critical juncture the GM made us roll off to see if one of us got in the others way. We both beat the target number but I was off by one or something - it was something that shouldnt' have needed a role in the first place.
Anyway I lose. The G.M. then pulls out the punishment chart. 1 - 20 each an entertaining punishment no big deal... except for the 20th punishment.
Now mind you - this was a mature group, no "I kill her and rape her!" or that sort of thing, no toilet humor, everyone was there for the story and the game, not seeing how they could kill the rest of the party or any such rot.
Most punishments were like mud wrestle a female orc or something.
The 20th punishment was "Raped by an ogre with a nail studded club."
I already knew what the roll was going to be.
I looked over at another player and said "I'm screwed."
He responded "That is not what you want to be saying right now."
and the die hit the table, and I left the room.
I'm building a real pirate ship. Really. Wanna help? Click here!
caffron said: "and cat pee is not a laughing matter"
caffron said: "and cat pee is not a laughing matter"
Sonar on
0
Posts
So we fight this hydra thing, and I end up getting killed by it trying to keep everyone else from getting killed by it. At the end of the fight they start going through the treasure this thing had stashed away, the GM starts rolling. It immediately starts going my way, he says no way several times and looks up in astonishment, he rolled a scroll of true resurrection and I was once again back in the saddle.
While we were interrogating her she escaped from her bonds, stabbed me in the chest and ran off, but I still feel I won the fight.
If you had agree'd to a stat mod then you would have won the thread. Also: You would have never gotten laid again.
caffron said: "and cat pee is not a laughing matter"
We're on a sail barge riding towards a town, when we get attacked.
I win initiative, roll to strike.
Natural 1.
GM has me roll for damage. 1d6x10. I roll a 6.
60 damage to the front end of the ship. I managed to blow the bow clear off.
I rolled six natural twenties at once.
The looks on their faces were priceless.
They still killed the balor, though.
Last session, our group fights our first dragon in this campaign, a green young adult.
We're all about level 9 or so and we were in no way ready for a dragon fight seeing how we were under the city of Suzial in Cormyr so I was really worried about the outcome of the encounter. We're chasing a guy we suspect is a member of the Cult of the Dragon down a cramped tunnel underground. We had been fighting for a while now and I assumed he was the "boss", so I had very little spells left to cure folks.
The "boss" finally comes to a large room and spins around to face me, just in time to get Terry Tate’d by me. I failed my STR roll though, so I just stunned him and knocked myself down. The funny thing is, our DM had me make a Will save just as I entered the room. The guy I was chasing didn’t cast anything, and no one else in that room had the time to target me for a spell, so I’m wondering why I have to roll.
What would cause a will save? Hmmm, just mind-affecting spells and stuff. So what could cause me to make a will save just by being near it?
…
…
…
Oh…dragon.
I pass the will save so as the rest of the group as they came tearing into the room after me to engage the guy we were chasing, which leaves us all grouped up in a nice little 20x20 square. I rolled high initiative (for once) and yelled for the group to scatter and I tore off deeper into the cave away from the rest of my group. My group manages to drop the guy we were chasing just in time for the dragon's turn and, sure enough, here comes the pain....in the shape of a large acid cone. He turned our sorceress into a puddle of goop and put a serious hurting on the Fleric, Paladin, and Barbarian. Now I'm really starting to get worried.
Undaunted we engaged it although the outcome didn't look good. I hit it with a Searing Ray and the pally and fleric hit it for neglible damage. It comes round to the barbarian's turn. The guy who plays him is stuck in the desert right now, so I give his character sheet to the guy who was playing the sorceress and tell him to get revenge.
(here's the payoff for the whole story)
DM: Okay, go ahead and roll to hit. Rolled a 19. That's a threat from his Large Keen Great Axe. Roll for confirmation. 20. Yep, that's a crit. Roll for damage. 3d6+15/x3. Okay, wow, that's 73 points. Go ahead and make your second attack. 20 again? Okay, roll to confirm. 19. 19 again?! Fine, roll for damage. 84?! That's a total of 157 points-- *sigh* (preturbed DM voice) You firmly plant your axe deep into the creatures forehead, dropping it to the cave floor.
The rest of us just kind of sat there, staring blankly at each other. "Oh, well, I-- I guess that's it."
I was GM'ing a Classic Marvel super-hero game, the premise of which what some madman was setting off massive Dark Energy charges with the intention of collapsing the mutliverse so they could be remade to his liking.
The were instructed (by the celestial powers that be) that they had to prevent 4 of the key 8 multiverses from being destroyed and after 2 months of gamin they had saved 4 and lost 3.
Final world, final boss who they defeated handily, but all the normal people who would disarm the bomb are out of commision.
The remaining person (played by Dorothy) attempts to disarm the bomb, pulling all available karma from the karma pool.
I consult the fumble table, and say "Whatever you do... don't roll a 2."
She rolls... she looks... she immediatly begins to pound her head on the table.
2.
The universe went *poof*.
We now refer to fumbling as "Rolling a Dot."
Second story, I was an observer not a participant.
Two of my buddies are playing Warhammer 40K, Nick is playing Imperial Guard and Rob is playing Eldar. Rob gets to go first, and charges the endmost Imperial guard with his Eldar avatar.
Killed him, one hit. Well... apparently there was (or is I don't know) a special ability for the Avatar that when he killed an opponant he got to charge another enemy unit that was in coherency with the slain unit.
Imperial guard army had to be completely in choerency or the seperated unit was "broken." And since it was first round of the game... the were ALL in coherency.
So Rob charges the next guardsman. Bam. Dead.
Next... Bam. Dead.
He finally lost an attack roll on a tank after walking through 90% of the Imperial guard and ALL the infantry.
*edit now with some speeling goodness.
Never ever ever say shit like that.
Guaranteed failure, every time.
I'm the GM, it's my job to be evil.
Vampire counts, 13 power dice. I roll them ALL for a 3d6 raise dead spell (I was getting really frustrated at failing my rolls, so it was more of a joke).
All ones. Critical miscast. Count dies. Army crumbles. The owner of the store felt really bad and let me have a box of zombies.
That is the most awesome thing I have ever heard.
(I want free Warhammer stuff
Hahahahaha, thats the best thing ever.
Worst roll I had was 5 hits on my Chaos Terminators, three 1's on the saving throws. Never based an army on an elite unit ever again, and I play horde armies in fantasy.
(This same count had earlier made 6 close combat attacks and rolled all 1s and 2s in the same game.)
The odds are 6x6x6x6x6x6x6x6x6x6x6x6x6. Or: 1 in 13,060,694,016.
Of course, in Spycraft, everyone has fun toys. I have a tooth with a radio in it, so I'm still talking to my people outside, and a GPS devise so they know exactly where I am. I also have a laz0r in my watch, so as soon as the guard steps outside, I cut through the ropes and am free. I wait for the guard to come back in and lift his gun off of him.
Initiative.
We tie for initiative, right down to the initiative modifier, so the DM rules we're going at the same time. I point my gun at the guard, and he whips out his gun and points it at the head of the hostage, and says that if I don't drop my gun, he'll kill the hostage.
Meanwhile, my team has shown up, but I can tell that they aren't going to make it to me soon enough, so it's up to me.
Pointmen aren't exactly known for their wonderful combat abilities, so it's not like I can just walk through this. But, I need to do something, so I trust my luck and roll to hit.
Natural 20.
Now, in Spycraft, there are these action dice that you get at the beginning of the mission. When you critically succeed at something (i.e. roll a natural 20), you can spend an action die to make the success a really epic one. I spend the action die, and BLOW THE GUY'S GUN HAND OFF. Since we're on the same initiative, his gun goes off, too, but since his hand is no longer attached to his body, the bullet harmlessly flies into a wall.
We climb into an air vent and make out way out of the warehouse. I tell my group to retreat, and we'll meet up with them later.
Mission accomplished.
You don't need free Warhammer anything! Now get over here and paint my guys.
Ayliana Moonwhisper Ecksus Cerazal
10, 10, 10.
It kicked so much ass.
Lets just say a natural 20 beats Robin Hood's natural 1 in an archery contest. Pwnt.
Unfortunatly then next round they all attacked me with scimitars and killed me.
I realize reincarnate can cause hilarity no matter what, but the look on his face when he realized he wasn't going to be a normal race, or kickass race, but a bandylegged waddling scarwny goblinoid was pretty priceless.
Also, your DM (if not you) is much more forgiving than I. I consider reincarnate and other resurrects to be out of character in Darksun. The only way to return from death is necromancy, hardly an improvement! >: 3
Good rolls...
Story the First
Or: Never Keep a Good Man Down
So I was playing in an AD&D 2nd edition game back in winter of '91. I get to play my favorite, which is a Halfling Theif (or Rogue for you 3e people). My Halfling Theif has been the drag-along for the entire party, since we are made up of two fighters, a Ranger/Druid a Psionicist and a Cleric. So basically, I'm the wuss in the group. Except that every time there's a god damn chest, it's "Where's the theif?"
So we get into the big fight at the end of the campaign where we get to fight the Anti-Paladin (Blackguard for you 3e people) whom the DM has unfortunately named Lord Darkbone. So Lord Darkbone gates in a bunch of shit, and combat starts. Fighter A says, "You guys take the henchmen, I'll take Lord Darkbone (laughter)!"
Well, I can't really do much against a Bone Devil with a non-magical short sword. When you're a Halfling Theif, you almost never get any decent treasure other than maybe a ring or something like that. I think I had a hand-me-down pair of Bracers of Defense. Meanwhile, the fighters both have like +233442343 Longswords and shit. I've got lousy Bracers of bullshit. Anyway. So I decide that I'm going to try to get the Sneak Attack in on Lord Darkpenis. Bone. Yeah. Anyway, so the DM let's me make my roll.
tic
tic
tic
tic tic
tictictictictic
1
Yes, I rolled a 1. So the DM rules that I jumped at him, bounced off his back and was now laying underneath Lord Darkbone, face up. Lord Darkbone puts his mighty foot on me and says to the fighter, "And when I'm done with you, I'll crush your midget friend like a grape." In response, the fighter says,
"Ok. Cool."
So it comes around to my turn.
"I'm laying on my back, right?"
"Yep."
"Under Lord Darkbone? (laughter)"
"Yes. AND KNOCK IT OFF."
"So, if I use my short sword, I can probably hit him in the leg or something and get him to step off of me, right?"
"Yeah, if you do enough damage, Mr. 1d6."
So I roll.
tic
tic
tic tic
tictictictictictic
20
Everyone stares at it in amazement. Now, back then, Crits were kind of DM"s Choice, and this DM had the rule that if you rolled two 20's in a row, you got to do triple damage.
"Roll it again."
tic
tic
tic tic
tictictictic
20
"YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME."
So I look at the DM and I say, "So I get to crit him in the balls, basically?"
I roll, get a 6. Do triple damage. Plus my Strength bonus. It was just enough to kill Lord Darkbone. So I killed Lord Darkbone by stabbing him in the balls.
Story two.
Or, How To Get Your Party Kicked Out of Town, Permanently.
So I was DM'ing this 1st edition game where I ran a series of Classic Modules. They were in the interim between A1 and A2, and they decided to go to a nearby town in the Pomarj (that's in Greyhawk). Now, the Pomarj, for those of you not savvy, is full of things like Orcs, Half-Orcs, Orcs and more Orcs. So they go to this town where basically three-quarters of the population is Half-Orc.
The Cleric is a Cleric of a Fertilty Goddess, so he goes off to the local Red Light District to spread his word--in a sense. The Ranger/Druid speaks Kobold and has decided to go drinking with a Kobold Fraternity Party down the street. The Paladin goes into the Inn/Tavern to get everyone a room and have a nice, hot meal that does not involve rats, fish or wild boar.
The rest of the party filters in to the Tavern, most of them avoiding the fuddy-duddy Paladin. The Halfling Theif decides that in order to pay for her meal, she needs to pay with someone else's money. So she decides that the perfect person to steal from is a Half-Orc Mercenary, since he has the largest bag of coins hanging from his belt out of everyone there (except her partymates, of course). Now, I had a sliding Crit scale where if you rolled a 20, you rolled again and you did a variable amount of extra damage depending on your second roll. 1 was maximum damage for the weapon, 10 was double, 16 was triple and 20 was quadruple.
So the Theif rolls her Pick Pockets and fails. Miserably, I might add.
The Mercenary grabs her hand, spins around and says, "WHAT'S ALL THIS, THEN? YOU STEALING FROM ME, LITTLE GIRL?"
The player looks at me and says, "Okay, can I backstab?"
"No, he's looking you in the face."
"Oh, okay. Then...I'll just frontstab then."
So she stabs him in the hand with her brand new +2 Dagger of Venom. And wouldn't you know it, she rolls a 20.
"Roll it again."
"20!"
"So you do Quad damage."
"Yep!"
Naturally, she rolls a 4. Plus strength bonus, plus the +2 on the dagger, plus the damage of the poison. Which she rolls max for.
This quick and easy 2nd level half-orc Fighter takes just enough damage from her attack that he dies.
This starts a riot in the tavern. Naturally, the rest of the party in attendance except the Paladin joins in. The Ranger/Druid hears the ruckus from just down the street and he drags the Kobolds into the fray with him.
The town watch shows up. One of them tries to arrest the Paladin. The Paladin then takes over the attack, killing the town watch.
So the next day, the Mayor shows up with guards from the Capitol city of the Pomarj and a judge. They are dragged into the Tavern by the guard, disarmed, and are asked what happened. After the story ended, they were kicked out of the town, permanently.
So as they are leaving, as a gesture of good intentions, the Ranger/Druid gives the Mayor the finger and casts Warp Wood on the beautiful oak bar.
Story the Third
Or: A Woman and Her Purse
We are playing Call of Cthulhu. We have switched over to the D20 version because despite the fact that we'd been playing the old Chaosium version for several years, too many people just "didn't get" the old system. IT WASN'T THAT FUCKING HARD, PEOPLE.
Anyway, I digress.
So my party is made up of your usual characters. I'm a Private Eye, we have an Archaeologist, a Linguist, a Priest a Doctor (MD), and my wife, Madame Zorah, Fortune Teller Extrordinaire. By far one of her most entertaining characters, without a doubt. So Madame Zorah is this big psychic phony (although she does have ESP, which is a blessing and a curse in CoC). I'm the only one in the group with any real combat skills, so I'm put in charge of things like killing and fighting and guns and stuff. However, there comes a time when the entire team gets jumped by Cultists or Assassins or whatever, and everyone has to do their best to pitch in.
So Madame Zorah fires her pisant revolver and hits nothing. I don't even think she fired in the same direction as everyone else. Her last shot, she rolls a 1, and the GM rules that her gun jammed. Now, we are fighting the first of the big Cultist guys in this series of adventures. So three weeks of this game leading up to this climactic fight. We get him down to just about dead, and he is about to escape when my wife pipes up, "But I go before him."
"But your gun is jammed."
"Okay...so I...THROW IT AT HIM!"
"....okay, roll it."
20, naturally.
She beans the fucking big bad guy in the adventure in the head with a thrown pistol and fucking kills him.
So now Madame Zorah has taken to keeping unloaded pistols in her purse, which she swings and hits people in the head with. So far, she's done more damage with her purse than she did with a pistol, and she's killed three people. Oh, once we had to leave the pistols behind, so she put two bricks in her purse instead. She dropped that one on a guard from a balcony and, yes, got another fucking 20 and killed him with her purse.
So our CoC group has been known to say this just before combat:
"I pull out my pistol."
"I hide behind a table"
"I pull out my gun"
"I get ready to swing my walking stick"
"I ready my purse!"
In a D&D game, my group had gotten holed up in a castle with 2 death knights. Not really a problem, since we were mostly evil. One of us actually ended up turning into a death knight.
But, being a castle of evil, an army had been sent out to destroy us. And I mean an army. Something like 5,000 soldiers, with siege weapons and calvary. So our meager force of about 7 people are sitting in this castle, looking out at what should be our inevitable doom.
However, I'm a cleric, a cleric worshipping a very evil diety. And being an evil cleric, I had an amazing spell: Raise Undead. So I go to the castle's graveyard, and go aobut the summoning.
Well, luck would have it I rolled a 20. And being a castle of evil, the ground was ripe with undeath potential. So I end up with 2 zombie lords, some giant fiery skeletons, and a respectable amount of lesser ghouls and zombies.
Now, the beautiful thing about the Zombie Lords, was that they had an aura of evil kind of thing, were everything within 30' had to make a save or fall to the ground in fear and wretching their guts. And when Zombie Lords kill, the slain rise again.
So I send them out to fight the army. Now, the undead were not a very common occurence in this world. So, a LOT of the soldiers outright shit their pants and ran away. Those that stayed... well, they soon joined MY army of undeath.
In the end, what had been certain doom at the hands of an army 5,000 strong, turned into a victory, and me having an army of undeath with over 2,000 ghouls and zombies under my control.
It was fucking badass.
I roll a 20, another 20 to 'confirm', and then roll max damage on my (+1?) rapier of shocking burst. The DM just stared at the dice...and then stammered something about her being a 'cyborg' and having a metal neck. Then she jumped up a fourty foot high chimney in the middle of the room (!?) and disappeared.
My friend made a Goliath Barbarian in a campaign where everybody started around level 3 (making him a level 2 barb). We did solo introductions with the general theme being "The beasts of the wild are revolting!" That being said, my friend was accosted by a bandle of dire badgers. Chasing them to his warren, he killed all of them with ease but one. That one was a normal badger; He already killed the grand mama badger complete with bonus HD a while ago. This last badger was a normal default dire badger, rolls go as follow.
INITIATIVE!
Barbarian 1+2=3. Badger? 17+somethingnother. It doesn't matter.
Badger attacks! 20! Critical hit! Roll to confirm? 20 again! Double crit, OMG! Roll to confirm? ... GUESS WHAT? 20 again!
The barbarian, who had slain just nigh a full warren of vicious beasts just had his heart ripped out of his chest by a lone, scared badger.
So my Paladin (Darwin, level 20) has gotten separated from his group during some trans-planar adventure. They are in a vast mostly-deserted plane that is bounded above and below by thick, giant sheets of what is basically "glass". Darwin ends up walking atop one of these sheets, while the rest of the party is below.
He manages to find where they are about the time they run into something really nasty, like a Chromatic Dragon or something. Our DM was getting tired of these characters, we'd been playing them for a long time and they were kinda ridiculously powerful together... so they often ended up traveling to exotic places, fighting improbable mosters, and living through it.
So basically this seems like the end of the road for the party. They've got something worse than they've ever faced on their hands, and without them, Darwin is doomed to forever be lost above upon this vast glassy landscape.
Darwin shouts out a prayer for righteous sacrifice to his distant god, and brings down his hammer, hoping that he can loose a chunk of glass so that he might launch one last attack, even if it means falling to his doom, hammer in hand, to lay a sacrificial blow upon the dragon.
I roll consecutive twenties. And maxed on the great-hammer.
Basically, Darwin smashed a gigantic chunk of glass from the ceiling of this plane. He and the glass plummeted downwards, destroying the dragon. I think all but one of the party made some sort of save and survived.
Darwin did not survive the fall. It was a pretty good death for a Paladin.
He was petrified by everything he ran across that could do it up until about he hit level 12, where he finally passed a save. This includes basilisks at level 2 or 3, gorgons at level 10, and at least 3 different spellcasters.
When he contracted lycanthropy (again on a one on a save), he was given 3 or 4 different methods to cure him, all of which required him to roll all of a 3 or better to pass. I failed every single one of them. Had to retire the character for a time after that until my DM could think of a way to make the character work in his campaign.
After being reintroduced, I met an old enemy from the previous campaign story arc. Hoping to tie up a lose end I charge him. Naturally, I roll a one. Which I backed up by another one. And then confirmed my ultimate failure with a third one. This DM had a house rule that if you rolled three ones you auto died (and 3 20's autokilled whatever you were hitting so it was relatively fair). So as I charged this Tannaruk and go to leap over the altar he's behind I trip on the altar, go cartwheeling through the air, get stabbed by every orc between me and him before pinning myself by the head to the back wall with my own katana.
After I got raised or however it was I was brought back to life and we wrapped up that but of story, we learn that a caravan is transporting slaves. Now, none of us were into that sort of thing and felt it our duty to smite some slave owners. So we come galloping up to this wagon and I attempt to jump up onto the wagon and smack the driver for subdual with my katana. And as I go galloping up to it I make my jump check and... 1. I jump off my pony and smack face first into the back of the wagon and slide down it, looney tunes style.
LoL: failboattootoot
Of all the stupid places to be, we end up at Mt. Nevermind. This is where the Tinker Gnomes come from, for those of you not Krynn-savvy. Now, when you are in Mt. Nevermind, they have a travel system of nets, catapults and other fun things. So what you do is you jump on a catapult or leap off a ledge and shout out which floor you want. Then the DM rolls to see if the Gnomes actually react quickly enough to catch you. So what you get is someone jumping from, say, the 20th floor and they want to get to the fifteenth. So you jump and shout "FIFTEEN!"
DM rolls, shakes his head
"er..FOURTEEN!"
"THIRTEEN!"
And so on. Eventually, someone would usually catch you before you hit the ground, which was 1. Now, you could use the stairs, but where's the fun in that?
So we go up to the top of Mt. Nevermind with a bunch of Gnomes so that they can show us the Gnome navy, which is a bunch of ships in a crater lake that are made out of floating rock. Great idea, but how do you get them out of here? The Gnomes didn't understand that concept, so we decided to leave. The Knights, Red Mage and Cleric (this was pre-Cataclysm) decide to take the stairs. The Dwarf (my wife), the Wild Elf Ranger (my Foster Brother) and I (Kender) decide to take the normal way. They tell me to go first, and being a Kender, I want to see if this really works. So I jump off at the top and shout "20" which eventually gets down to "17! WHEE THIS IS FUN!" Then I jump down to like 5 or 6 and take the stairs the rest of the way down. The Dwarf jumps off and shouts "THREE!" Naturally, they catch her. The Wild Elf, not wanting to waste time, jumps off and shouts "ONE!"
Ker-splat.
So we end up dragging what's left of him to the nearest Tower of High Sorcery. In a bucket.
So the party is standing there, pleading with the Tower Council to use a Resurrection spell. They tell us they have no such thing, but they have a Reincarnation spell, which was going to cost a shitload more money than we had. The Knights and the Red Mage walk out, but determined to bring him back, the Dwarf has me go through my pouches to see if I have anything of value (to the horror of the council). Somehow, I ended up with a gem the size of a small pumpkin worth around 50k. (In the old 1st edition, Kender had 100 pouches which you had to determine what was in them at character creation. Some were empty, some had money, some had gems, some had useless crap and some even ended up having magic items in them.) So we give them the gem, and they cast the spell.
My Foster Brother rolls. The DM checks the chart, and it says, "HOBGOBLIN."
Poing! He appears as a Hobgoblin in the middle of the room.
At which point, the Dwarf runs forward, shouts "FOR THORBARDIN!" and kills him in one shot.
So twenty minutes and one magic item later, he is reincarnated as a Male Dwarf, except that he still believes he's a female Wild Elf. Not that such a thing would stop a smitten Female Dwarf, mind you.
The wedding was lovely.
Fuck dude, your stories put my exploits to shame. I want to play D&D with you! Experience the awesome and all that!
Jordan of Elienor, Human Shaman
Anyway. So the three characters in the game wind up fighting a greater water elemental, which was a pretty rough challenge for them at the time. And this guy using the vampire monk, one of the most dextrous creatures imaginable, manages to miss on every single one of his attacks in that combat. I'm talking a series of about 14 rolls, all of which were less than 5. That was three years ago, we still give him shit about that.
Well, thanks.
Maybe PAX'08. I plan on actually going to the tabletop gaming area next time. This year was all screwy and I didn't get there.
I once got our party kicked out of town because my Half-Orc Bard went to play a song in the tavern and rolled a 1.
The song was so bad, they named a disease after my character.
Speaking of bards, one day I'd like to make a halfling bard who plays bluegrass covers of Metallica songs on the banjo.
The image of a bunch of halflings playing Fade to Black on banjos and guitars is infinitely hilarious to me.
So, I take a patrol mission with a lance of medium mechs. I end up fighting against a guy with a suprising amount of heavy mechs for our BV-level.
So, swirling melee ensues.
For about three turns, all of my mechs have a base-to-hit of 6 on at least one of his mechs at any one time.
For three turns none of my rolls exceed 5. Meanwhile one of my more favorite mechs gets legged from a lucky roll of 12 on his part.
After that, I surrender, and tell him that I'm going to shoot my pilots personally.
Well, I couldn't do that, but I fired them all, and hired a new batch after repairing, because I was that pissed.
http://www.thetributeto.com/web/8401/page.asp
I used to work Electronics at Wal-Mart, so I saw this thing every day.
it pisses me off to no return. My dice are seriously against me