Helping Girlfriend in Med School

lsukalel

I am looking for advice on what the best way is to help my girlfriend through med school. We live about 2 hours away from one another.

I visit her, clean her apartment when I am in town, get groceries, skype with her on mute to keep her company, and go hang with her while she studies at the med school when I am in town. ( She has done this for me when I have been busy in law school)

I just would like to know if there are other strategies for helping her.

I used to think one of the worst feelings was feeling helpless in regards to your own situation, but it is worse when someone you love very much, is going through a tough time and you cant really do that much for them.

I swear if I could study for her and feed her what I learn I would.

So any ideas?

Thanks in advance!

Cruix

You sound like a really great person and you already seem to be doing a ton for your girlfriend! I wouldn't feel too pressured to do any other things, but I understand you wanting to help her and that's a really great thing.

Some things that just spring to mind: When you can make the commute over to see her, I don't know if you already do this, but you could offer to make dinner for her. That way she can either just relax or do her work while you cook something up. It'll take away one of the pressures of her day and exchange it with something nice for the two of you.

It's also important to keep a little fun in these things. As much as she may enjoy your help with these every day type tasks, she might also appreciate the chance to unwind when she gets it. Maybe make up a little package of some kind for her to dig into when she takes a break from her homework? Packed with some things like a candy she likes, a letter, maybe a favorite movie on DVD. Little things that won't take up too much time.

If you package it right, she could use it as an incentive in work -- like taking one more thing out of the package for every hour she does homework or something like that.

Aside from that: Shoulder/back/neck and foot massages always help when stress is involved! So are things meant for indulging yourself -- any kinds of special bath items for taking relaxing baths, things like that.

lsukalel

good advice, thanks Cruix!

The gift basket sounds like a good idea.

keep it coming penny arcade

Steev

My fiancee is currently working on a Ph.D. and lives about 4 hours away from me. I visit her roughly every two weeks, and I think my visits are more of an escape from the rest of the school/lab "fun" she gets to deal with. It sounds like you've got the right idea. Kinda makes me feel bad, actually, because I suck at cooking.

Anyway, just keep on doing what you're doing!

Hobbit0815

You are an absolutely awesome boyfriend. ; ; Bring her treats.. girls love treats.. especially chocolate treats. Add those to the gift package.

Also, if you don't do this already, when you're not visiting her, send her e-mails or the occasional myspace/facebook message. Everybody loves getting messages, especially from those they care about. Taking 2 minutes to write a quick note to tell her how much you care/miss her etc. makes anyone feel better.

X Pr3dat0R X

At the risk of sounding like a dick, don't do too much more. Hell, what you're doing now is more than enough.
I'm coming at this from the point of view of someone who was in med school and had a girlfriend who would do all those kinds of things for him.
She eventually left me for unrelated reasons and suddenly what I had to deal with felt a million times harder.
Heaven forbid anything happens to you guys but the course is pretty much designed to be difficult, because the job is difficult and it would be a shame for her to suddenly lose that support, it'd only make things harder in the long run and she needs to be able to cope with it alone.
Obviously, let her know you're there when she really needs you, but don't smother her with too much love (as tempting as it may be)

Sarcastro

Gift basket, relaxation stuff- but really keep doing what you're doing. The trick is, as you've found, is to take the pressure off of other areas so she can focus on school, and put energy into that, with some leftover for other things. You cant lighten the school load, so lightening the overall load is a solid strategy.

As for a gift? I dunno - get her a really nice pen? Shitty pens are the bane of someone who has to write notes all the time, and she'll think about you when she uses it. I got mine from a lawyer actually, and its too bad, because I think about that lawyer all the time. He was a balding old guy who travelled a lot. Things would have been better for us all if it had come from my girlfriend.

Dman

While breaking up will make your life more difficult and the closer you are to your partner and the more they help the harder the break up will hit I don't think that is a reason to help less.

I get the impression lsukalel has been with his gf for a while and their relationship is going strong despite the distance and stresses of law and now med school.

The main thing is to be positive and supportive. It sounds like your doing well, keep it up!

lsukalel

Thanks for the advice, I will definitely take some of these suggestions.