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Need an emergency crit (for Sonic fanart contest)

StudioZELStudioZEL ConnecticutRegistered User regular
edited September 2008 in Artist's Corner
Okay, I'm working on a piece for the Sega Sonic Fanart contest (this one http://www.sega.com/sonicblackknight/contest/us/ ) that ends this Friday, and I'm in need of an emergency critique.

SonicFanArtContest_v3.jpg

Any and all suggestions are welcome.

StudioZEL on

Posts

  • jibjibjibjib Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    do the background in the same style as the rest of the pice. the super-rectangular computer generated buildings make it look...cheap, i guess.

    the rest is good though, maybe i'd like robotnic to be a little bigger/closer. There's a lot of empty space up there to fill, and hes just so damn fun to draw. I remember one stage of my life when all I drew was sonic.

    jibjib on
  • FoodFood Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I agree with jibjib about the buildings and Robotnik. It seems weird to just have part of his head in view. Why not show him in more detail? It would make the picture more exciting.

    Also, it may be because I'm not that familiar with Sonic games, but I can't tell what they're supposed to be running on.

    Food on
  • DrewDrew Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Food wrote: »
    Also, it may be because I'm not that familiar with Sonic games, but I can't tell what they're supposed to be running on.

    I imagine this is meant to be one of those crazy tracks Sonic always seems to be running on. If I were you, I'd add more of the track in the background, with tons of loops, hairpin turns, etc. Would make things a lot more interesting to see where Sonic has just come from.

    Also, the glow around Robot Sonic (or whatever he's called) is making it difficult to see what's actually going on with that character. It could use some clean-up.

    Drew on
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    You can make the background more dynamic if you kinda tilt it, or bend it into a curve. Also, would the guy behind Sonic cast a shadow on the ground if he's emitting light?

    MagicToaster on
  • happy_killmorehappy_killmore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Drew wrote: »
    Food wrote: »
    Also, it may be because I'm not that familiar with Sonic games, but I can't tell what they're supposed to be running on.

    I imagine this is meant to be one of those crazy tracks Sonic always seems to be running on. If I were you, I'd add more of the track in the background, with tons of loops, hairpin turns, etc. Would make things a lot more interesting to see where Sonic has just come from.

    While this would be a sweet thing to add, I think, from what I can see anyways, that the reason why there is no more track behind him is because Robotnik is destroying it as he is chasing him. I definately think you have to work more on the background, although my brain isn't thinking at all right now so I apologize for not being more helpful with any ideas on how to go about it.

    BTW, as a SEGA fanboy growing up and all around Sonic fanatic, this piece tickles me just right and I must say I think you did a perfect rendition of Sonic.

    Please keep us updated.

    happy_killmore on
    avatarbannercopy.gif
  • PolksterPolkster Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Make it take place in Green Hill Zone from that perspective. Palm trees and crap. More colorful.

    EDIT: If Mecha Sonic is glowing like that, he shouldn't be casting a shadow.

    Polkster on
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    The background reminds me of the Mirimax logo and seems completely out of place to the rest of what's happening. Outside of that, I'm not really feeling whatever it is Sonic is running on, or how it kinda gets muddled and disappears around Metal Sonic. If it's suppose to be spiraling back into the distance, a more suitable background should accompanying it to help "sell" it.

    Also, the term "Emergency Critique" cracks me up.

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
  • StudioZELStudioZEL ConnecticutRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    SonicFanArtContest_v7.jpg

    Reworked taking criticism into account. Please advise, tomorrow is the last night I can work on it.

    StudioZEL on
  • GodfatherGodfather Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Try and sharpen the edges of the environments a bit, everything looks rather doughy.

    Godfather on
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    A lot better, though I'm still not entirely clear what I'm looking at in regards to what Sonic is running on. It still just gets muddled up Metal Sonic and there is nothing in the background to indicate what I'm looking at either.

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Second the hilarity inherent in "Emergency Critique". I think the first thing that would improve this image is restricting the pallette a little bit; the blue thing he's running on? I'd make that a similar shade to the sky (or vice versa).

    What is that handle thing to the left of sonic? Is it supposed to be attached to the side of the 'slide' he's running through? If so, the perspective is completely incorrect.

    The lines on the 'slide' indicating where the metal joins are should be getting closer and closer to one another as they recede back towards that glowing metal sonic explosion in space-time (whatever is happening there, I have no idea).

    Whats the blue metal splash behind sonic?

    Why is Robotnik attacking Metal Sonic? Isn't Metal Sonic robotniks own creation?

    desperaterobots on
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    Also, your shadows don't react as they should to the light source being provided by Robotnik's lazer-gun. There should be more blue used in the shadows since the lazer-gun is an orange color. Instead it looks as though you've only used black to make a shadow, and all that's done is desaturated the colors.

    I agree with DR, and not just cos he's a Doctor on TV, but because he's right about the color palette: You should give some consideration overall to what you want the color palette to be before starting. I would go with something that especially makes Sonic's blue fur pop from the rest of the picture, helping facilitate him as the focal point.

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    The big mystery in this image for me is... What the fuck is he running on? I mean, this chase appears to have been going on for some time. Where were they running around before this image was snapped? Where are the tubes and spirals and slides (or whatever) in the background?

    I wish I wasn't at work, I'd love to do a quick edit on the composition. I don't think the composition is helping the feeling of the chase -- These characters should be overlapping, with sonic closer to the viewer, and metal sonic directly behind, and then chasing behind we can see robotnik... You could really push the perspective and make it feel 'fast'.

    Also I think the composition is naturally fighting against what the image is trying to achieve; We normally read images left to right, and so for me I feel like I'm reading this image backwards. Instead of Sonic being the focus, my eyes are drifting from Sonic in the foreground to discover he's being chased by metal sonic, and then there's robotnik as the full stop of the visual sentence.

    This might be improved if the composition started at the top left with robotnik, which led to Metal Sonic, who is chasing Sonic. Just in the composition alone you'll have better told the story by running these characters from right to left in order of the chase, with Sonic being the full stop.

    There's a lot of dead space in your composition too. Maybe try chopping off the top and bottom of your canvas to make it more CinemaScope?

    desperaterobots on
  • sonictksonictk Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Stardust speedway had a lot more than just a simple track, btw. Also I'm pretty sure the track he was running on didn't have a blue organic-looking rim to it. It would fit a lot better if the track itself were a lot more industrial looking and menacing as per the actual scene in the game.

    Also a little debris showing that the track is actually being destroyed would help make it clearer why the track doesn't go on in the background.

    sonictk on
  • prismeclipserprismeclipser Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    You should really show the debris from the laser blowing stuff away. Like having the beam and then outside the beam you should show chunks of the track flying away.

    I think the clouds need to be reworked. I would make it seem like a storm was rolling over the city, and to make them a different colour. Perhaps a darker greyish red would work? Also, I think the perspective of Robotnik is off. I don't think we should be able to see the top rockets from the angle we are seeing him from.

    Lastly, it feels to me like there should be another building between Sonic and Metal Sonic. I don't know why.

    prismeclipser on
  • bboyKRILLINbboyKRILLIN Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Here's my two cents, i hope this is clear, i just quickly drew over the top of your art

    SonicFanArtContest_v72.jpg

    Sonic's leading foot shouldn't be flat on the ground, when running your leading foot makes contact on the surface with the heel, it's only when your foot is directly below your hip does your foot go flat, then you end up on your toes as you power off into the next stride, as a result his leg looks awkward at the minute.

    Hands normally power back and forth at 90 degree angles, Sonic's lead hand, outstretched like it is look unnatural, i'd bend it more and put it up by his face, so it looks like he's putting maximum effort into this run.

    The image looks very still to me right now, i'd add a load of speed lines as i've shown here, the platform Sonic is on curves nicely and with the speed lines added it really helps to draw you in.

    There is too much going on with the Metal Sonic, i couldn't really tell at first the the platform is being blown away by Robotnik, if i were you i'd have the platform going off a bit further into the distance then disintegrating and falling apart.

    Hope this helps, remember, it's just my opinions, feel free to use what you agree with and discard the rest. :D

    Peace.

    Oh, one last thing, i'd try make his head a little larger and bearing down more, again, anything that emphasizes the speed at which he's traveling only helps to sell the image more.

    bboyKRILLIN on
    BBOY KRILLIN's ART cause i likes to draws an stuff
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    instead of making the shadows just a darker version of whatever color you're using, try using different colors
    and currently i think what's really making each element seem disjointed is a lack of unifying color.
    sonic is really blue and just blue
    the thing he's running on is grey and just grey
    the sky is red, just red
    get what i'm saying?
    throw some other colors into the mix, try to tie it all together.

    here, quick and gritty, all i did here was put a texture on it, and then added in a bit of unifying color in the form of the light coming off that dude that's glowing

    using a texture is a pretty easy way to add a unifying color and kinda tie everything together, but it should be paired with good color choices in the first place, it shouldn't be used as a substitute but as sort of like an accent:

    SonicFanArtContest_v7_changed.jpg

    beavotron on
  • Castle_BuilderCastle_Builder regular
    edited September 2008
    I love the dynamic posture of the piece.

    And the redrawn buildings on the left side are great ...

    But the buildings in the background on the right and the reflection of them are just totally out of place.

    They just dont fit in with the rest of the art.

    I think itd be better witha couple buildings like the ones on the left side on the right ... or even if you dont have time just take them out all together.

    As it is now they just contrast to the main arts style and detract form the flow of the picture.

    Good luck.

    Castle_Builder on
  • StudioZELStudioZEL ConnecticutRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Well, I'm about out of time. Sadly all I was able to do was adjust the clouds, add some reflection to Robotnik, and add a trail to Sonic to give him some speed. I appreciate everyone's help, and given more time I'd have redone the whole damn thing. ^^

    SonicFanArtContest_v10.jpg

    StudioZEL on
  • Castle_BuilderCastle_Builder regular
    edited September 2008
    I think the fix you did to the background city works pretty well.

    All in all a very nice piece mate.

    Good luck with it!

    Castle_Builder on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    If it's not too late, try adding some slight flare (I think it's called supernova or something) and/in a very slight blueish tint to each of those windows in the far background and a very slight warm (red or orange) tint to Sonic's forward glove.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
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