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Recurring nightmare?
Rend
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
My girlfriend has a problem.
Occasionally when she is about to fall asleep, but she claims she is still awake, in that in-between state, she will see an intruder (may be either a man or woman) come into our room and stand over us, sometimes just standing, sometimes doing something, once even dropping the clothes hamper upon us.
The clothes hamper was, after said case, obviously unmolested, and she will often wake me up to investigate after these phantoms, but they do not exist outside of her mind.
These visions have increased in frequency for her, up to the point where this past week it has happened every night, and I'm beginning to get very worried. What is this? I'm becoming convinced that there is something definite which is the cause of these pseudo-nightmares.
I'm asking for help, H/A, in general. What is she experiencing? Why? How can I help? How can this be remedied?
Occasionally when she is about to fall asleep, but she claims she is still awake, in that in-between state, she will see an intruder (may be either a man or woman) come into our room and stand over us, sometimes just standing, sometimes doing something, once even dropping the clothes hamper upon us.
The clothes hamper was, after said case, obviously unmolested, and she will often wake me up to investigate after these phantoms, but they do not exist outside of her mind.
These visions have increased in frequency for her, up to the point where this past week it has happened every night, and I'm beginning to get very worried. What is this? I'm becoming convinced that there is something definite which is the cause of these pseudo-nightmares.
I'm asking for help, H/A, in general. What is she experiencing? Why? How can I help? How can this be remedied?
Rend on
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis
I've only had the hallucinations a handful of times, but they were always of someone standing right next to me. Not being able to move was the alarming part for me, though.
I don't know why it would be happening more often, but like I said, it's harmless except for sometimes scaring the shit out you.
Also, as already mentioned, sleep paralysis is often associated with terrifying dreams and feelings of helplessness.
The bottom line for me is that the whole "all psychological problems are caused by latent unresolved emotional trauma" is just so much bunk. That kind of exclusionary thinking causes therapists to go looking for things like repressed memories while ignoring all other possible causes (such as medical or environmental factors). There have been many cases where long after someone has been charged with rape or child abuse based on a "recovered memory", the entire repressed memory story is effectively debunked. By that point though, it's too late. The charge has been made, lives have been destroyed, and families have been ripped asunder. I'd recommend being extremely wary of any therapist who insists that a problem is being caused by some latent unresolved emotion or trauma, with no investigation of alternative causes.
Full disclosure: I have a BA in Psych, which leaves me 4-5 years of school plus 1-2 years of residency short of what would be required to diagnose anyone with anything. Also, while I've done a lot of reading on and around this subject, I'm fairly out of date on it by now. I'd recommend talking to your family doctor (if you have one), asking for a referral to a psychologist, psychiatrist or specialist in a sleep clinic. What you've described sounds like absolutely classic sleep paralysis with hallucinations, it's not exactly a rare phenomenon, so it shouldn't be hard to get qualified help for this problem.
How long have you two been sleeping in the same bed? It can be a bitch to get used to, and the constant awareness of someone else there with you can result in some pretty strange symptoms.
Also, did she move in with you? Because often a change in surroundings can spur on these latent feelings of insecurity, heightening anxiety and disrupting sleep patterns. You may just need to bring in some familiar comforts, and give her free reign on making a few personal touches.
About 8 months now we've been sleeping in the same bed, and she didn't move in with me, we kind of moved in together. We did both move, though.
Sounds sort of like she's experiencing sleep paralysis and the halfstate is causing her dreams (lucid, vivid) to switch over to helplessness scenarios. When she manages to shake it off by waking up all the way, the dream fades, but the sensation and memory are left behind. Feels real because something real is happening.
Out of my field for a cure though, I'm not sure what they give for sleeping paralysis.
For me I know my eyes are a little open, because I can see the room I'm in (though it is blurry). Generally the dream manifests itself as a will match where I will struggle to get up, in the dream accomplish this, and then snap back down to my original position (I guess from the optic input).
It's very discouraging.
Has she tried to use a night mask? I know that my dreams like that seem to be connected to having my eyes slightly open. Perhaps a night mask would alleviate her problems.
Couldn't hurt atleast.
I however can move. And move I do.
ALWAYS I will jump out of bed screaming fuck fuck fuck fuck ever since I was three-ish (not sure I said fuck then but it was one word over and over)... then when someone tries to talk to me I will explain what I *think* is happening.
The funniest (not for me but for the girlfriend) was when I assured her a blue dragon (yes, the video game blue dragon type blue dragon) was in the bed with me.
Once I convinced myself there was a 5 foot tall invisible lizard in my bed with me.
What doesn't help is that I have been on and off meflaquin for the last five years which causes these type dreams .
I am honestly afraid to go see someone because I would be scared that I am somehow not normal. Tread lightly is my advice when dealing with her and her dreams.
Usually, I see a spider or something similar on the cieling, or forming a web in front of my face. I dont freak out, pass my hand through the fake apparition to make sure its really not real, and then blink a few times and its gone.
Every now and then I have scary ones that involve said intruder, or snakes in my bed or something that make me jump out of bed.
In the end, I think your girlfriend will just get used to seeing things every now and then like I do and will be able to differentiate the hallucinations from reality. At least thats how it was for me. I dont think you need to involve any sort of shrink for something like this. It's just a persons brain that has trouble changing the dream state to an awake state.
So, just a theory, but if she's eating like an hour before going to bed, tell her it needs to stop. Sugary kind of drinks too.
But I usually have the same experiences as your gf. I'll often feel the presence of someone close or standing over me when I'm positive I'm the only one in the house. I can't move my body or even open my eyes but I'm fully aware of whats going on around me because I can remember whats on the TV because I can hear it while this is going on.
EDIT: On that note I don't believe there is anything they can give you for SP, although I believe my doc said it was hereditary as my father has the same condition and also suffers from sleep apnea.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[EDIT] After looking at it, sleep paralysis almost exactly describes what is happening to her, the only odd thing is that she doesn't feel like she can't move, just that she is scared enough that she does not want to move. Does this happen?
I don't know if this is meant as a joke or not, and I completely am not suggesting such bollocks, but it was the first thing to occur to me also because of some whack experiences my mother's had with exactly the visions mentioned in the OP. Although she also had a series of them with the same guy, who she'd never seen, whose face she remembers so vividly she can still draw it years later.
The mind is fucking weird.
It's not always the same person, not always a man or a woman, it doesn't always do the same stuff. From what I've read about hauntings in the past (assuming the sources out there aren't blowing smoke) would that not rule out a haunting?
First, I'm pretty sure it's not, I don't generally believe in those types of things. At the VERY LEAST, not in sub-urban apartment complexes. Second, I was of the impression that hauntings were always the same people coming back to do the same things over and over.
And third, I don't want this to devolve into an argument about what a haunting is.
So, that being said, the sort of people, those of you who have sleep paralysis, or have experienced this sort of thing, do you have a history of paranoia or abnormally frequent nightmares?
Sleep paralysis is fairly common when you're using certain techniques to try and induce a lucid dream, yes.
The more she can recognize that the paralysis is a normal body function (always happens during REM sleep, whether you're aware of it or not), the less frightening it will seem. The accompanying hallucinations are a result of hanging in between the border of being asleep and being awake.
That all said, I still agree that it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to a professional, if only for peace of mind.
It is not a haunting, period. As a couple people said now, the brain is farking weird, and can come up with a whole range of completely insane mixed-up imagery all on its own. As mentioned before, the images are almost certainly a form of hypnagogia
With me this happens sometimes but the vast majority of the time I have a burning desire to move but simply cant. I'll lay there trying to open my mouth to scream or just move my pinky because there someone standing right over me but usually I have to wait until a loud noise wakes me or someone else does. I think out of the many times this has happened to me the most I could make myself do anything was to slide my leg down off the couch but after achieving that I went into total lockdown mode. I usually wake up screaming and breathing heavily after my episodes.
EDIT: And about your frequent nightmares and paranoia question my answer is yes and no. I really don't have nightmares too often and I'm not really paranoid about anything except for one subject really. This might sound silly but I am a firm believer in extra-terrestrials and most if not all of my nightmares and paranoia are about UFOS. Fun fact, most reports of people being abducted my UFOS are actually cases of sleep paralysis being that the experiences people describe having match the condition. The subject alone freaks me out and is the only thing I'm really paranoid about.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Likewise; I was just being silly.
Well, that's certainly a relief.
I was thinking to myself: o_O
...
...
o_O
Or some Rabbids were hiding out in your room.
I had night terrors as a kid. It was like being half awake, but feeling the worst possible feelings ever, like everything is just bad and nothing is good. Also you want to cry and throw up and are vaguely afraid of something but you don't know what. I wouldn't wish them on anybody.
But anyways, good luck with getting help.