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My wife and I are getting a divorce

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  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    also, LARPing may not be the best dating pool to dip into considering that your soon to be ex-wife cheated on you with the aid of an MMORPG. Seems like you could repeat this whole fiasco down the road.

    Yea, im not really looking for a serious relationship with anyone there. Hell, probably not even a romantic one. Just chill with some nerds running around with lightsabers yelling "FORCE LIGHTNING!"

    Well see how it goes. Im still pretty raw inside, so I wouldn't want to get in a serious relationship for a while, especially with my trust completely shattered.

    Spherick on
  • KingMooKingMoo Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Spherick wrote: »
    As much as I can. We still live in the same place for now (moving this weekend) and she sleeps in the bed, but we dont see/talk to each other much. As she works 11-12 hour days right now.

    I also try to leave the room when shes on the computer as her and her new man talk on vent like a couple of newlyweds.

    I'm sorry to tell you this, but your soon-to-be ex-wife is a bitch. Leaving you for a guy she's met in person once after a 4.5 year relationship, as well as talking on vent with him when you're in the room? No thanks.

    Until now I thought that she was relatively normal, the love was lost, and she just moved on. But doing this is absolutely cold hearted.

    KingMoo on
    ![▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓]!
    !!!!▓▓▓▓▓Gravy?▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!
    !!!!!!▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!!!!
    of doom
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Oh, trust me. It pisses me off to no end and I have to restrain myself from cutting the cable to mic of putting a screwdriver through her monitor.

    Spherick on
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited October 2008
    Only for a few more days, I guess..

    I would come home for a little while each night to put some things in boxes that you can take in your car, and bring them elsewhere, then spend the night somewhere else. Because this is some shit and she's a lousy person.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • jhunter46jhunter46 Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Spherick wrote: »
    Oh, trust me. It pisses me off to no end and I have to restrain myself from cutting the cable to mic of putting a screwdriver through her monitor.

    If it is an old CRT, don't put a screwdriver through it. Vacuum tubes and what not.

    In all seriousness, talking to the guy on vent is just coldblooded. Get out of there as quickly as you can.

    jhunter46 on
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Nah, its an LCD, so I wont get shocked by a huge semi-conductor.

    And yea, its incredibly fucked how she talks to him and laughs and flirts and calls him babe ALL the time over vent with me less than 2 feet away.

    Im like the modern age Seneca

    Spherick on
  • NargorothRiPNargorothRiP Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Man for you a one time offer. I will beat the shit out of both of them for you free of charge!

    NargorothRiP on
  • DeathwingDeathwing Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    And yea, its incredibly fucked how she talks to him and laughs and flirts and calls him babe ALL the time over vent with me less than 2 feet away.

    Sweet Zombie Jesus, that is farked up. If nothing else, that should show you that you're making the right choice by getting out of there - there's no other reasons to do that with you around but pure malice and/or total insensitivity. And apparently her new guy is just as messed up, if he knows you're around still also.

    I'd offer to buy you a drink (or several) if I wasn't several hundred miles away.

    Deathwing on
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  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Also, apparently - the same thing happened to this guy. Except it was his fiancee, not his wife. So he should know how this feels and what hes doing to me.

    Its completely wrong on both of their counts and drives me crazy. Thankfully tonight is my D&D night, so I will be over at some friends.

    Spherick on
  • redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Spherick wrote: »
    Also, apparently - the same thing happened to this guy. Except it was his fiancee, not his wife. So he should know how this feels and what hes doing to me.

    Its completely wrong on both of their counts and drives me crazy. Thankfully tonight is my D&D night, so I will be over at some friends.

    I'm going to mirror nap here, and say that i'm happy that you're moving forward in a constructive, positive manner.

    I've been there, kinda, and I know the pain involved.
    Anyway, you're almost in the clear, you'll be ok.

    redfenix on
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Yea, now its just packing up, moving the furniture to storage, get my name off the lease and electricity, and leave her. It still seems like miles away, but one step at a time. It still breaks me up when I actually stop and think about it. Loneliness terrifies me - always have, so this is a big step.

    Also overcoming the stigma of moving in to your parents, no matter how short the stay may be.

    Spherick on
  • redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Spherick wrote: »
    Yea, now its just packing up, moving the furniture to storage, get my name off the lease and electricity, and leave her. It still seems like miles away, but one step at a time. It still breaks me up when I actually stop and think about it. Loneliness terrifies me - always have, so this is a big step.

    Also overcoming the stigma of moving in to your parents, no matter how short the stay may be.

    fuck that, it makes sense to live with your parents for a bit.

    there's people that perpetually live w/ their parents (in their basement olol) that are lik 35 and damn that's sad.

    then there's those who are doing it not out of sheer laziness, but out of familial appreciation, and understanding. No reason to be embarrassed about it, hell, many cultures have like 3+ generations under the same roof.

    You're doing good, dude. For reals.

    redfenix on
  • DynagripDynagrip Break me a million hearts HoustonRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2008
    Your parents didn't fly across the country to fuck around on you behind your back. You'll be better off at their place.

    Dynagrip on
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Your parents didn't fly across the country to fuck around on you behind your back. You'll be better off at their place.

    Excellent logic. Im definately better off ANYWHERE than where I currently am. I was weighing the pros and cons of living alone (w/ kitty), or at my parents. Thankfully I can bring Natasha with me, so im not forced into a place on my own. Also bankrolling the 3 months of free rent can let me either

    a. Pay off my car
    2. go on a crazy vacation for december break
    III. Get a nicer place/down payment on a cheap house around january

    Spherick on
  • redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Your parents didn't fly across the country to fuck around on you behind your back. You'll be better off at their place.

    haha, nice

    redfenix on
  • EriosErios Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Spherick wrote: »
    Also, apparently - the same thing happened to this guy. Except it was his fiancee, not his wife. So he should know how this feels and what hes doing to me.

    Its completely wrong on both of their counts and drives me crazy. Thankfully tonight is my D&D night, so I will be over at some friends.

    Give it time, it will end badly for both of them and you will be living a happy, well adjusted life. If you lived in Manhattan I too would have taken you out for a drink.

    Erios on
    Steam: erios23, Live: Coconut Flavor, Origin: erios2386.
  • KingMooKingMoo Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Spherick wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Your parents didn't fly across the country to fuck around on you behind your back. You'll be better off at their place.

    Excellent logic. Im definately better off ANYWHERE than where I currently am. I was weighing the pros and cons of living alone (w/ kitty), or at my parents. Thankfully I can bring Natasha with me, so im not forced into a place on my own. Also bankrolling the 3 months of free rent can let me either

    a. Pay off my car
    2. go on a crazy vacation for december break
    III. Get a nicer place/down payment on a cheap house around january

    maybe it's not in your interests but with the amout of shit she's puting you through maybe you should invest in that lawyer and put her through some shit.

    KingMoo on
    ![▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓]!
    !!!!▓▓▓▓▓Gravy?▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!
    !!!!!!▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!!!!
    of doom
  • EriosErios Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    KingMoo wrote: »
    Spherick wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Your parents didn't fly across the country to fuck around on you behind your back. You'll be better off at their place.

    Excellent logic. Im definately better off ANYWHERE than where I currently am. I was weighing the pros and cons of living alone (w/ kitty), or at my parents. Thankfully I can bring Natasha with me, so im not forced into a place on my own. Also bankrolling the 3 months of free rent can let me either

    a. Pay off my car
    2. go on a crazy vacation for december break
    III. Get a nicer place/down payment on a cheap house around january

    maybe it's not in your interests but with the amout of shit she's puting you through maybe you should invest in that lawyer and put her through some shit.

    I wouldn't be vindictive, don't stir the hornet's nest, just go for asshole protection and getting what's fair to you. I would advocate spending your money responsibly (maybe 1 or 3, rather than 2), especially in our current era of volatility.

    Erios on
    Steam: erios23, Live: Coconut Flavor, Origin: erios2386.
  • DenadaDenada Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Pay off your car. It feels really good when you write that last check. The positive effect on your credit rating is useful too if you're looking at a house in the future.

    Denada on
  • RubickRubick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Almost a year ago, I went through a break-up where my boyfriend fell for another woman. I had moved cross-country for him, and due to the break-up, was getting my job transferred back down south. As such, there was about a week where we had to still live in the same house - myself having no one to stay with, and him refusing to go stay with family. I had to listen to his chats on the phone with the other girl, as we had really thin walls, and he was a complete asshole during that entire time period. I wound up staying in a hotel a couple of nights - I would consider this, if you have the means at all. It was really nice to just sleep and trying to stop myself from listening to stuff I didn't need to hear.

    Rubick on
  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I agree with Rubick if I would in your situation I would have to stay in a hotel. I would seriouly end up stabbing people. I ust say your a strong dude, thats pretty sweet. If it was me you would hear about it on the news.

    Your doing pretty awesome though man, keep up the good attitude. Maybe bring some people back to your house after D&D and everyone can give her dirty looks and tal really quite to make her feel uncomfortable. Unhook your internet if you pay for it, thats what I would do...

    Dixon on
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Spherick wrote: »
    And yea, I could save literally about 3 grand living with my parents. But how the hell do you date while living at your parents?
    You don't. Dude, I wouldn't advise jumping into the dating saddle just after a divorce. It can seriously screw with your head, whether you're living with your folks or not. You don't have to wait a year and a day or something, but I would definitely say the 3~4 months you're recovering at your folks' house should be spent on getting yourself straight, and not concentrating on a new relationship. Even if you think you just want to be fuck-buddies, going through a divorce is hard shit and it's easy to get confused.
    Spherick wrote: »
    Still havent decided what to do with my ring yet, most likely going to keep it in a box as some have suggested.
    Melt it down and use it to put a gold coating on a set of ben-wah balls.

    GungHo on
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    GungHo wrote: »
    Melt it down and use it to put a gold coating on a set of ben-wah balls.

    I like this idea the best so far - only my ring is white gold.

    Spherick on
  • KingMooKingMoo Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    What’s was wrong with the "pawning it" idea? that's 2 birds with one stone right there. You get some closure and you get some money

    KingMoo on
    ![▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓]!
    !!!!▓▓▓▓▓Gravy?▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!
    !!!!!!▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!!!!
    of doom
  • Peter PrinciplePeter Principle Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Spherick wrote: »
    While she lied about one thing, I doubt she would actively fuck me over like this.

    You are probably OK since it seems you are separating amicably at her request, there is no reason for her to want revenge.

    maybe she thinks he'll drop loot.

    Indeed. How much alimony would you be willing to pay to make a DV protection order go away?

    Peter Principle on
    "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business." - Eric Hoffer, _The True Believer_
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    So, in an effort to make my life 1000x easier, I decided to leave the furniture (except for the computer, TV, and consoles) and sell it all to her. This gives me the needed cash flow to pay off the car AND saves me the hassle of moving all the furniture and storing it.

    All of the furniture was used anyways or gotten used, so im not too worried about finding more when I move out. My parents have already offered to help when that time comes, so well see what happens.

    Im getting my name off the lease, electricity, and brighthouse today. The leasing office just needs a form filled out and nothing more thank god.

    Im also going to be going to her bank, pay off the car loan in full and having them mail my parents the title. From there I can put it in my name and well be square on that.

    We've discussed it and shes going to sign everything and not cause a huge hassle.

    Especially since im selling her the furniture and saving her and him a great deal of effort with shopping around, buying it, and delivering it here.

    Good clean break, where im only keeping the things I cherish - books and gadgets! and clothes of course. But ill be shopping for a new wardrobe soon. Im still wearing shirts I wore in high school. Im a graduate student.

    Spherick on
  • NargorothRiPNargorothRiP Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    good man, smart move, streamlines shit for you and gives you the ability to sever all ties with her clean and fast.

    NargorothRiP on
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Well turns out she didnt get off of work early, so can't get my name on the lease today. Thankfully the office is open on Saturday as well.

    Spherick on
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    UPDATE:

    1. Got my name off the lease
    2. Paid the car off in full and am having the title mailed to me
    3. Moved out to parents
    4. Started divorce paperwork
    5. Bought tickets to north carolina to visit a good friend and chill

    Overall, things are progressing without much trouble, other than emotional. I left yesterday for good and it was extremely hard on both of us. It hurts alot and I often find myself being reminded of everything about her by alot of mundane stuff. For example, my pay stub has Marital Status: Married on it and I just stared at it for a good 5 minutes fluctuating between anger and sadness.

    Spherick on
  • SeeksSeeks Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Thumbing through small parts of this thread have convinced me to never get married. Not that I need a shitload of prompting, but eh.

    Edit: Also, condolences.

    Seeks on
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  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    See, I don't view marriage as a horrible act in and of itself. Hell, the happiest day of my life is still the day I got married. Its a wonderful institution that shows a great deal of commitment and love for the other person.

    Its just unfortunate my wife didn't take the vows as seriously as myself.

    Spherick on
  • SeeksSeeks Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I guess. It's just way too easy to get fucked over, though, especially if you're a guy and your wife wants to be a cunt about things. If it ever happens, I guarantee there'll be a pre-nup.

    Anyway, I don't want to derail this thread or anything. Er, anymore. I suppose that you, having been fucked over so terribly, are still willing to give marriage a fair shake says something for it.

    Seeks on
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  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    good work Spherick

    good luck with all the rest =)

    Xaquin on
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Good luck.

    Take some time, but do look for your own place.

    Also, as your cat was mentioned, is the kitty pictures rule in effect? Considering the OT, we may let it slide this time.

    MichaelLC on
  • SpeakeasySpeakeasy Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Bob Dylan - Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

    Hope all goes well with you, Spherick.

    Speakeasy on
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  • noir_bloodnoir_blood Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Seeks wrote: »
    Thumbing through small parts of this thread have convinced me to never let my partner play WOW. Not that I need a shitload of prompting, but eh.

    Edit: Also, condolences.

    Fixed that for you. Seriously, this isn't the first time I heard of something like this happening.

    My condolences Spherick, but like someone else said, take heart in the fact that their relationship probably won't last either. Let's ignore the fact that they're both cheating douchebags, they haven't really spent a lot of physical time together, most of it has been through computer phone, meaning they probably don't have a good idea of what they really are like.

    Man, I think we should all go to wherever Spherick lives and buy him a couple of drinks. Then we could take the show on the road. The PA Pickerupers!

    noir_blood on
  • SpherickSpherick Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Well I live in Clearwater/Tampa right now and will be in Greensboro for a few days in about 2 weeks.

    i'll take everyones liquor :)

    Also, it is a small consolation that they will not last, but im actually sad that she is fucking up her life like this. Im also glad she decided to stay in town and not go to California as when things get fucked, she wont be alone in some state 3,000 miles from home and feel obligated to stay with him for fear of not having anywhere to live.

    Spherick on
  • GirlPantsGirlPants Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I can't reccomend getting a lawyer enough. You don't want this girl hitting your for alamonie or pulling some bs down the road. Really sorry to hear this happened but just don't let her stick it to you anymore than she already has.

    GirlPants on
  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    From me to you Spherick:
    guinness_tulip_pint_glasses_2_pack_reviews_235502_300.jpg

    Best that I can do since I am about 20 hours away. Should you ever find yourself in the Maryland area, shoot me a PM and I will treat you to a beer in real life.

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • EriosErios Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Best that I can do since I am about 20 hours away. Should you ever find yourself in the Maryland area, shoot me a PM and I will treat you to a beer in real life.

    Same but New York City for me.

    Hell, if any of you want a drink in real life in New York PM me :P!

    Erios on
    Steam: erios23, Live: Coconut Flavor, Origin: erios2386.
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