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Who the fuck steals bikes anyway

OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
edited September 2008 in Social Entropy++
Dear DubDub++,

It was supposed to be a fun night out with friends. We left on our journey to the local cinema to see a free showing of Pixar's latest hit, Wall-E. It turned out to be a night of sheer terror.

The gang and I left the theater upon the completion of the movie. It was close enough that we decided to ride our bikes there, the lovely weather may have played a part in the decision as well. We made our way to the bike rack laughing and joking. "I fucked your mom last night" someone says. "Yeah well I sliced your sister's throat open, stuck my penis in the hole and out of her mouth and then blew myself" says someone else.

It was a pretty normal conversation. Until it happened.

We stumbled upon a scene most grizzly and foul. A scene the likes of which Mr. Lovecraft himself could not have conjured up. The space that once held my bike was now empty. A hasty inspection of the area revealed no clues. The bike was gone.

Many thoughts raced through my head. Was it aliens? Was it drunken frat boys? Was it the minorities??

I would not find the answers there at that gruesome place. I hitched a ride back home with a friend, with agony filling my very soul. I had just bought a headlight for the poor thing too.

So DubDub++, tell me about things that have been stolen from you. Tell me about things you have stolen from other people. Tell me which one of you fuckers stole my bike.
I bet it was graves

tldr; Someone stole my bike. Tell me about things you've had stolen and/or things you've stolen

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OmegaTofuNinja on
«1345

Posts

  • TrellTrell __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    I stole your bike but it sucks

    Trell on
    ori's modding is stupid and arbitrary and based on no actual rule system but rather wind patterns and astrology.
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    never stole anything and nothing has ever been stolen from me.

    i've lost some stuff though.

    Nogs on
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    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I almost stole it but decided it wasn't worth my time

    Grey Ghost on
  • JaninJanin Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    If your bike is fancy enough that you care about getting it stolen, buy cheaper bikes.

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I covered this already, drunks, vagrants, and hippies.

    sarukun on
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Janin wrote: »
    If your bike is fancy enough that you care about getting it stolen, buy cheaper bikes.

    Or at least get a half-decent lock so some random schmuck can't just up and take it.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • Dee KaeDee Kae Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I was almost in the same situation as you were a couple months ago, except they managed to ride off in my bike the second I got off of work.

    Easily got it back considering he never took my bike lock (and chain) with'm, which was a huge mistake.

    Dee Kae on
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited September 2008
    someone stole my bike when I was like 8

    it was my first new bike

    the next time I had a new bike was my sixteenth birthday, the rest were all purchased at say, yard sales

    DJ Eebs on
  • Muse Among MenMuse Among Men Suburban Bunny Princess? Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I like DubDub++.

    Everyone wins.

    Muse Among Men on
  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I'd get bikes stolen way too often to bother buying new.

    Synthetic Orange on
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited September 2008
    also the gas station by my house right next to the bus stop had this thing where you had to set your bookbag so you couldn't steal shit

    I went and grabbed a pepsi, went up to the front and paid for it, and turned to grab my bag only to find it missing

    who steals an eighth grader's backpack

    DJ Eebs on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Janin wrote: »
    If your bike is fancy enough that you care about getting it stolen, buy cheaper bikes.

    trying to kill you with my mind now

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
  • HallowedFaithHallowedFaith Call me Cloud. Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Now now, consider the situation.

    It could have been some poor kid running for his life from some unlisted Men In Black type group and just happened upon your bike as a supportive tool in his escape. I mean, in the movies that shit happens ALL the time.

    Most likely though, it was the minorities.

    HallowedFaith on
    I'm making video games. DesignBy.Cloud
  • Fire TruckFire Truck I love my SELFRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Dee Kae wrote: »
    I was almost in the same situation as you were a couple months ago, except they managed to ride off in my bike the second I got off of work.

    Easily got it back considering he never took my bike lock (and chain) with'm, which was a huge mistake.

    I think something here does not make sense.

    I'm not sure what it is though.

    Fire Truck on
  • Threadbare SockThreadbare Sock regular
    edited September 2008
    stolenbikejv7.jpg

    Threadbare Sock on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    FOOT SWEATERS
  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Now now, consider the situation.

    It could have been some poor kid running for his life from some unlisted Men In Black type group and just happened upon your bike as a supportive tool in his escape. I mean, in the movies that shit happens ALL the time.

    Most likely though, it was the minorities.

    I mean that would've been a horrible idea since it was locked.

    I think this is the time when I go all vigilante on this town. What should my vigilante moniker be?

    OmegaTofuNinja on
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  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    stolenbikejv7.jpg

    love you so much

    OmegaTofuNinja on
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  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I had my whole CD collection stolen back when I was in middle school

    that wasn't cool

    Centipede Damascus on
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    stolenbikejv7.jpg

    love you so much

    I feel awful for laughing.

    sarukun on
  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    what's funny is I was just watching Whippy play punch-out

    Kuribo's Shoe on
    xmassig2.gif
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Now now, consider the situation.

    It could have been some poor kid running for his life from some unlisted Men In Black type group and just happened upon your bike as a supportive tool in his escape. I mean, in the movies that shit happens ALL the time.

    Most likely though, it was the minorities.

    I mean that would've been a horrible idea since it was locked.

    I think this is the time when I go all vigilante on this town. What should my vigilante moniker be?

    Pissbomb Joe

    Me Too! on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    bikes are fantastic for riding, not so much for stealing

    NotASenator on
  • Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    what's funny is I was just watching Whippy play punch-out

    This type of racism is not going to get back this guy's whatever he lost

    Dely Apple on
    feets.jpg
  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    My bike was stolen Freshamn year at college
    Apparently this happens to everyone there

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Man, my bike was stolen too. About 14 years ago. Who the fuck steals a 6 year old's bike. I mean really.

    Also just steal our roommate's bike lock for your next bike. The ginger can walk.

    Artreus on
    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Artreus wrote: »
    Man, my bike was stolen too. About 14 years ago. Who the fuck steals a 6 year old's bike. I mean really.

    somebody really poor who has a 6-year-old kid, maybe

    Captain K on
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    BusterK wrote: »
    My bike was stolen Freshamn year at college
    Apparently this happens to everyone there

    That's hazing.


    It's against the law.

    sarukun on
  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Artreus wrote: »
    Man, my bike was stolen too. About 14 years ago. Who the fuck steals a 6 year old's bike. I mean really.

    Also just steal our roommate's bike lock for your next bike. The ginger can walk.
    A seven year old?

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • RCagentRCagent Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I accidentally left my DS case with games in it on a table during my last year in high school.

    Do not ask why I did that, but I lost all my DS games, though my DS was saved because I put it in my pocket, neglecting the point of the case.

    RCagent on
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Goatmon on
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  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Dely Apple wrote: »
    what's funny is I was just watching Whippy play punch-out

    This type of racism is not going to get back this guy's whatever he lost

    I didn't do nothin'

    Kuribo's Shoe on
    xmassig2.gif
  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    sarukun wrote: »
    BusterK wrote: »
    My bike was stolen Freshamn year at college
    Apparently this happens to everyone there

    That's hazing.


    It's against the law.

    No it's more like
    Every Freshman at UCSB is stupid enough to buy a brand new bike
    And every Freshman is stupid enough to buy the cheapest kind of lock that is easy to break
    Also students are regularly away from their bikes for hours at a time

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    when I was a kid and my brother was a toddler some dudes in the neighborhood stole his little walking car

    2008-05-22-tikes.jpg

    (the one on the left)

    anyway, I have no idea what they wanted with it, but we later found it all mangled and thrown into the local creek

    Centipede Damascus on
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    BusterK wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    BusterK wrote: »
    My bike was stolen Freshamn year at college
    Apparently this happens to everyone there

    That's hazing.


    It's against the law.

    No it's more like
    Every Freshman at UCSB is stupid enough to buy a brand new bike
    And every Freshman is stupid enough to buy the cheapest kind of lock that is easy to break
    Also students are regularly away from their bikes for hours at a time

    Thanks for ruining my joke.

    sarukun on
  • MongooseMongoose Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Just a few weeks ago, my Wii, my remote and nunchuck, my friend's remote, the charging dock that both remotes were plugged into, my friend's SD card that was in the Wii, my Wavebird receiver and two Gamecube memory cards that were plugged into the Wii, my copy of Disgaea 2, and the case for my copy of We Love Katamari were all stolen. Fun times.

    Mongoose on
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    man i had a walking car like that.

    those things were the bomb.

    Nogs on
    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    when I was a kid and my brother was a toddler some dudes in the neighborhood stole his little walking car

    2008-05-22-tikes.jpg

    (the one on the left)

    anyway, I have no idea what they wanted with it, but we later found it all mangled and thrown into the local creek

    I have a good idea of the kind of stupid shit you can do with one of those cars

    Me Too! on
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    do you wiggin? do you have a good idea?

    Nogs on
    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    I have a very good idea
    Stupid shit is my specialty

    Me Too! on
  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    sarukun wrote: »
    BusterK wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    BusterK wrote: »
    My bike was stolen Freshamn year at college
    Apparently this happens to everyone there

    That's hazing.


    It's against the law.

    No it's more like
    Every Freshman at UCSB is stupid enough to buy a brand new bike
    And every Freshman is stupid enough to buy the cheapest kind of lock that is easy to break
    Also students are regularly away from their bikes for hours at a time

    Thanks for ruining my joke.

    You already did that when you told it
    Heyoooooo
    I watch your gift ( Seven Samurai) at least once a month ;-)

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
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