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TheFuzzyMilitia

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Shogun

Don't bother with the ex-fiance. If you want to try dating the best friend don't do it by cheating on your current girlfriend. Break it cleanly and then do what you want.

Evil_Reaver

Shogun wrote: »

Don't bother with the ex-fiance. If you want to try dating the best friend don't do it by cheating on your current girlfriend. Break it cleanly and then do what you want.

This is pretty much what I was going to say.

Inquisitor77

Shogun wins.

1. Break it off with the ex-fiance
2. Break up cleanly with your current gf
3. Give your friend a real, genuine chance without all this extra crap flying around

Grundlterror

Exactly right.

wasted pixels

I think it would be a mistake for you to dump your girlfriend on our say-so, given that you wrote 27 words about her, and 200+ about your best friend. That isn't much for us to go on.

Shogun

wasted pixels wrote: »

I think it would be a mistake for you to dump your girlfriend on our say-so, given that you wrote 27 words about her, and 200+ about your best friend. That isn't much for us to go on.

I would just like to point out that I am not telling him to dump his current girlfriend. I said if he chooses to date his best friend he should break it off cleanly with the current girlfriend first. No reason in her getting hurt over his desires. But I do not cheat on the ladies I keep company with.

eternalbl

It tells us he's 27 words into his current gf and 200 words into his best friend...

TheLawinator

I'd suggest still taking it slow with the best friend. Continue to let your friendship develop and just see what's natural.

noir_blood

How about you don't date for a while?That can maybe give you a perspective of what you really want out of a girlfriend.

Cristo

You're a prat if you keep contact with your ex-fiance. She was an idiot and blew her chance, if you go back to you, she'll probably just blow you off again. And you said something about medication? What KIND of medication? Is she a manic depressive or something, probably not something you really want to get involved with.

Clean break with your current girlfriend. It seems pretty apparent to us here you don't give a shit about her. You've known her for a month and you dated her because she liked the same books :-|

Go for your best friend, in all liklihood it might well work. You'd probably be more like a married couple anyway, since your so close and know each other well. A lot of people say their spouses (spice? :P) are their best friend, so who knows.

Rear Admiral Choco

Forget the ex-fiancee.

Break it off as cleanly as you can with the current girlfriend, and spend some time with the best friend. I don't know if you want to get into things with the best friend right away as it may seem to be a bit of a rebound, but if neither of you cares then go for it.

codetrap

Cristo wrote: »

You're a prat if you keep contact with your ex-fiance. She was an idiot and blew her chance, if you go back to you, she'll probably just blow you off again. And you said something about medication? What KIND of medication? Is she a manic depressive or something, probably not something you really want to get involved with.

Clean break with your current girlfriend. It seems pretty apparent to us here you don't give a shit about her. You've known her for a month and you dated her because she liked the same books :-|

Go for your best friend, in all liklihood it might well work. You'd probably be more like a married couple anyway, since your so close and know each other well. A lot of people say their spouses (spice? :P) are their best friend, so who knows.

There is a lot to this. My wife is by far my best friend. She was my friend before she was my lover. And we had a friendship before we fell in love. This is very very important, and I think a lot (around 50%) of people seem to miss this fact. You can very easily fall in and out of love with someone repeatedly. What carries you through the times when you're not "in love" is your friendship with your spouse. I will always "love" my wife. I will not always be "in love" with her, that takes too much energy. But I know that our deep friendship will carry us through those times when we're not "in love" with each other to that moment when we look at each other, and it blossoms all over again.

Personally, I'd go with the best friend. Just remember, she's a whole new flight. Leave all your old baggage behind.

wallabeeX

I will say the obvious:

If it doesn't work out, it's likely you'll lose your friend.

Derrick

wallabeeX wrote: »

I will say the obvious:

If it doesn't work out, it's likely you'll lose your friend.

The cards are already on the table. Chances are you lose her anyway if you don't go for it.

Trowizilla

Break up with current girlfriend.

Tell ex-fiancee that it's not going to happen.

Date best friend. Friends are the best boyfriends/girlfriends; you already know each other, so there's none of that "Wait, you like to stay up and watch MTV reality shows?" or whatnot.

Edd

Derrick wrote: »

wallabeeX wrote: »

I will say the obvious:

If it doesn't work out, it's likely you'll lose your friend.

The cards are already on the table. Chances are you lose her anyway if you don't go for it.

I'd like to point out that the risk of friend loss is, barring a particularly bad break, roughly equivalent to the maturity levels and degree of emotional honesty going in, given that those two factors will very likely rear their heads during a breakup.

It is possible for a relationship to end, and for the parties involved to be cool about one another after the fact.

Kyougu

noir_blood wrote: »

How about you don't date for a while?That can maybe give you a perspective of what you really want out of a girlfriend.

I agree with this the most.

tsmvengy

wallabeeX wrote: »

I will say the obvious:

If it doesn't work out, it's likely you'll lose your friend.

This can happen, but you know what? If it turns out you're better off friends and you both figure that out, your friendship will survive. And you can even end up being closer friends.

Donovan Puppyfucker

Shogun wrote: »

Don't bother with the ex-fiance. If you want to try dating the best friend don't do it by cheating on your current girlfriend. Break it cleanly wait a little bit to allow your feelings to go back to normal, and then do what you want.

mts

just be aware if you are that close of friends it could be like kissing your sister, and you both could realize that

JebusUD

mts wrote: »

just be aware if you are that close of friends it could be like kissing your sister, and you both could realize that

Don't jinx it.

I think he has made a very wise choice.

mts

not trying to jinx it, just wanted to post a valid arguement that goes against the romantic comedy viewpoint being expressed

codetrap

TheFuzzyMilitia wrote: »

Well, ended it with the current girlfriend. She understood actually, thought it would have been a lot messier. I told the ex fiance, that she betrayed me, my trust and I still need to work things out for myself. She wants to try for friends she's welcome to, but I can't promise anything.

Finally talked to my best friend, and told her I feel the same way for her. We're both unsure if things will work, so we are going to try going out on an actual date and see how things go from there. I was tempted to just do the alone thing but codetrap made sense. Plus, if I just stand to the sidelines, I risk losing her as a friend, or something greater.

I'll have to mark this on my calendar. I made sense. I showed the thread to my wife btw, and she agreed as well.

Bewildered_Ronin

Shogun wrote: »

Don't bother with the ex-fiance. If you want to try dating the best friend don't do it by cheating on your current girlfriend. Break it cleanly and then do what you want.

Aye. In the immortal words of Vanilla Ice,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9yaam0p_BA

Tomboys rock, IMO.

-edit-
derp! too late, but still crucial for the words of wisdom from The Ice Man.