Games ported to strange devices and other parts of your childhood raped.

maximumzero

So I was in Wal-Mart today trying to pick up some random stuff for birthday presents when this caught my eye in the toys department:



The fuck? Sonic the Hedgehog? So I had to check out the back of the box. Turns out it looks like a straight port of Sonic 2 with some random educational stuff thrown in, for this thing:



Leapfrog, the company that does all that crazy educational gaming stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90dYj2iZtcs

Man, whatever happened to Putt Putt?

slash000

That guy doesn't gesture with his hands enough when explaining things.

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

Lastly.. The most bizarre thing I ever read about porting was when Doom was ported to a digital camera. Yeah.

Also, Duke Nukem 3D on the Game.com.

Dr.Funkenstein

Putt Putt was amazing

Rent

slash000 wrote: »

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

I expect a comprehensive guide for must-have Didj games in...oh, two weeks, slash.
No exceptions.

Mustachio Jones

Dr.Funkenstein wrote: »

Putt Putt was amazing

Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo is still on my top 25 games.

I can kill as many people as I want in so many games, but in what other game can I save the fucking zoo?

I'll tell you. None.

Shady3011

Do shitty ports to great portables count? This has to be the king of shit.

Original Sonic the Hedgehog "ported" to the GBA

gunwarrior

Shady3011 wrote: »

Do shitty ports to great portables count? This has to be the king of shit.

[url=snipOriginal Sonic the Hedgehog "ported" to the GBA[/url]

wow, the camera is in way too freakin close

Einhander

I bought Sonic the Hedgehog for my phone the other day. I still remember the "Blast Processing" commercials. They touted how powerful and just plain badass the Sega Genesis was, and now I can play one of it's flagship games on a piece of shit Samsung Beat, a phone that can barely handle playing MP3s.

But then again, I remember when no one on the block had a machine that could run Quake III at more than 25fps at 800x600, and now you can play Q3 in a fucking browser.

Also, speaking of shitty ports to the Game.Com, did anyone but me play Resident Evil 2 on that piece of shit?

maximumzero

Shady3011 wrote: »

Do shitty ports to great portables count? This has to be the king of shit.

Original Sonic the Hedgehog "ported" to the GBA

I love how the music is completely off as well as none of the original sound effects being present.

Raiden333

I play Doom on my mp3 player all the time on the bus. Rockbox FTW.

Becks

what the terrible shit is a leapster

i hate the man in the didj video and every marketing message he thrummingly delivers

Masonite

Yeah. Wow, nevermind.

FyreWulff

slash000 wrote: »

That guy doesn't gesture with his hands enough when explaining things.

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

Lastly.. The most bizarre thing I ever read about porting was when Doom was ported to a digital camera. Yeah.

Also, Duke Nukem 3D on the Game.com.

Know what's even more bizarre? How some people got the firmware off some Canon cameras.

by making it's busy light blink out the firmware in binary, picking it up with a light sensor that generates a sound file on a computer running Audacity, and then converting the sound file to the firmware

randombattle

FyreWulff wrote: »

slash000 wrote: »

That guy doesn't gesture with his hands enough when explaining things.

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

Lastly.. The most bizarre thing I ever read about porting was when Doom was ported to a digital camera. Yeah.

Also, Duke Nukem 3D on the Game.com.

Know what's even more bizarre? How some people got the firmware off some Canon cameras.

by making it's busy light blink out the firmware in binary, picking it up with a light sensor that generates a sound file on a computer running Audacity, and then converting the sound file to the firmware

BUUUUUH?!


Also I remember when that Sonic GBA game came out. "Oh man Sonic 1 on the gba? WHAT COULD GO WRONG!?" Yes.. What could go wrong indeed... Oh how we look back at things and laugh.

AuburnTiger

I downloaded the original Sonic the other day on XBL and had a blast with it. I should download Sonic the Hedgehog 2 one of these days . . .

Dusda

That's...actually pretty straightforward. Unusual point of entry, but hey. These guys are creative.

randombattle

Also did anyone else notice that you can customize the questions it asks you in the kids games on that thing? Just think of the possibilities!


You could have it ask you complex math equations.. Or poop jokes!

bloodyroarxx

slash000 wrote: »

That guy doesn't gesture with his hands enough when explaining things.

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

Lastly.. The most bizarre thing I ever read about porting was when Doom was ported to a digital camera. Yeah.

Also, Duke Nukem 3D on the Game.com.

The Game.com in general had crazy ports, Resident Evil 2 and Castlevania: SotN to be exact.

I guess the first time my friend showed me doom running on a 2nd gen iPod i was very much o_O why? he replied with I 'unno just cause they can I suppose.

Ultimanecat

I had a Game.com...that was probably the console that finally convinced my parents to never purchase another console for me again. After that, it was with my own money or not at all.

It had some interesting ideas - I liked how it could hold two cartridges at once, and the internet connectivity, while horrifically underdeveloped, was also pretty forward-thinking.

What I didn't like was how all of the ports were designed specifically to look like they got the real game going on portable software, and then you got it home and realized you had been tricked. I had Duke Nukem 3D for the system, and they found perhaps the only way to make a 3D game not actually three dimension at all. Pure douchebaggery.

yalborap

Ultimanecat wrote: »

I had a Game.com...that was probably the console that finally convinced my parents to never purchase another console for me again. After that, it was with my own money or not at all.

It had some interesting ideas - I liked how it could hold two cartridges at once, and the internet connectivity, while horrifically underdeveloped, was also pretty forward-thinking.

What I didn't like was how all of the ports were designed specifically to look like they got the real game going on portable software, and then you got it home and realized you had been tricked. I had Duke Nukem 3D for the system, and they found perhaps the only way to make a 3D game not actually three dimension at all. Pure douchebaggery.

Okay, you're going to have to tell me how they pulled this off in Duke Nukem 3D.

randombattle

yalborap wrote: »

Ultimanecat wrote: »

I had a Game.com...that was probably the console that finally convinced my parents to never purchase another console for me again. After that, it was with my own money or not at all.

It had some interesting ideas - I liked how it could hold two cartridges at once, and the internet connectivity, while horrifically underdeveloped, was also pretty forward-thinking.

What I didn't like was how all of the ports were designed specifically to look like they got the real game going on portable software, and then you got it home and realized you had been tricked. I had Duke Nukem 3D for the system, and they found perhaps the only way to make a 3D game not actually three dimension at all. Pure douchebaggery.

Okay, you're going to have to tell me how they pulled this off in Duke Nukem 3D.

I too want to know.

Google failed me in this task.

Dusda

yalborap wrote: »

Ultimanecat wrote: »

I had a Game.com...that was probably the console that finally convinced my parents to never purchase another console for me again. After that, it was with my own money or not at all.

It had some interesting ideas - I liked how it could hold two cartridges at once, and the internet connectivity, while horrifically underdeveloped, was also pretty forward-thinking.

What I didn't like was how all of the ports were designed specifically to look like they got the real game going on portable software, and then you got it home and realized you had been tricked. I had Duke Nukem 3D for the system, and they found perhaps the only way to make a 3D game not actually three dimension at all. Pure douchebaggery.

Okay, you're going to have to tell me how they pulled this off in Duke Nukem 3D.

Ask and you shall receive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcxbR8xzQw8

UncleSporky

That's kind of what I figured, basically it's like the old first person RPGs, locked to a grid.

Raijin Quickfoot

It's not a port of a game per se but my fiance has a Palm Centro and there is a snake game on it that completely steals the graphics from Zelda: A Link to the Past. Same trees, bushes, walls, ground, etc...just instead of playing as Link you play as a snake eating fruit.

Waka Laka

Link on CD-i was pretty damn horrible.

Tiger electronic standalone games were also pretty terrible.

PeregrineFalcon

I looked at the "Didj" in a TRU once and thought "I wonder how long until someone hacks that thing. Could be useful."

Then I realized that Wal-Mart had DS Lites on for $99, and wondered what the fucking point of it was.

darleysam

FyreWulff wrote: »

slash000 wrote: »

That guy doesn't gesture with his hands enough when explaining things.

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

Lastly.. The most bizarre thing I ever read about porting was when Doom was ported to a digital camera. Yeah.

Also, Duke Nukem 3D on the Game.com.

Know what's even more bizarre? How some people got the firmware off some Canon cameras.

by making it's busy light blink out the firmware in binary, picking it up with a light sensor that generates a sound file on a computer running Audacity, and then converting the sound file to the firmware

That's... awesome. I will never doubt another thing I see in CSI, House or X-Files.

Einhander

Waka Laka wrote: »

Tiger electronic standalone games were also pretty terrible.

Yeah, I went to a private school when I was younger, and everyone at school had a Game Boy (except the rich kid who had a Game Gear), so showing up with the Virtua Fighter 2, Alladin, or Sonic the Hedgehog (etc) Tiger LCD games was pretty much tantamount to just shouting "Hey look everyone, I'm poor!".

Side note: The rich kid who had the Game Gear was told he wasn't allowed to bring it to school anymore after some teacher caught a glimpse of him playing Mortal Kombat.



Also that's fucking amazing with the guys getting the firmware from a camera via busy light. I knew that there is a group of people who want to get Doom (along with Linux) running on anything with a screen, but I didn't know they were that serious about it.

PeregrineFalcon

Einhander wrote: »

Yeah, I went to a private school when I was younger, and everyone at school had a Game Boy (except the rich kid who had a Game Gear), so showing up with the Virtua Fighter 2, Alladin, or Sonic the Hedgehog (etc) Tiger LCD games was pretty much tantamount to just shouting "Hey look everyone, I'm poor!".

Side note: The rich kid who had the Game Gear was told he wasn't allowed to bring it to school anymore after some teacher caught a glimpse of him playing Mortal Kombat.

I would have enjoyed the Game Gear more if it didn't eat batteries like popcorn. And this was the days before NiMH and quick-chargers.

Einhander

Yeah, the "I'm gonna eat through six AA batteries in about two and a half to three hours" thing does really blow, especially since the rechargable battery pack was so expensive, but you can use a a Sega Genesis AC adaptor to plug it in while you're in one spot.

Just make sure to find a model number MK-2103 AC adaptor, Goodwill usually has a few for $0.50 or whatever.

It was the damn screen (color and backlit, the hardware's strongest features) and the fact that power wise it was pretty much just a mobile Master System that utterly slaughtered the battery life.

FyreWulff

darleysam wrote: »

FyreWulff wrote: »

slash000 wrote: »

That guy doesn't gesture with his hands enough when explaining things.

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

Lastly.. The most bizarre thing I ever read about porting was when Doom was ported to a digital camera. Yeah.

Also, Duke Nukem 3D on the Game.com.

Know what's even more bizarre? How some people got the firmware off some Canon cameras.

by making it's busy light blink out the firmware in binary, picking it up with a light sensor that generates a sound file on a computer running Audacity, and then converting the sound file to the firmware

That's... awesome. I will never doubt another thing I see in CSI, House or X-Files.

Finally found the page detailing it again.

http://chdk.wikia.com/wiki/Porting_the_CHDK#Hardware-software_solution

randombattle

FyreWulff wrote: »

darleysam wrote: »

FyreWulff wrote: »

slash000 wrote: »

That guy doesn't gesture with his hands enough when explaining things.

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

Lastly.. The most bizarre thing I ever read about porting was when Doom was ported to a digital camera. Yeah.

Also, Duke Nukem 3D on the Game.com.

Know what's even more bizarre? How some people got the firmware off some Canon cameras.

by making it's busy light blink out the firmware in binary, picking it up with a light sensor that generates a sound file on a computer running Audacity, and then converting the sound file to the firmware

That's... awesome. I will never doubt another thing I see in CSI, House or X-Files.

Finally found the page detailing it again.

http://chdk.wikia.com/wiki/Porting_the_CHDK#Hardware-software_solution

Honestly I would love to know what made this guy sit down and think

Gee if I use the busy light I can get the camera to output the firmware in binary! Maybe then I'll rout it through a soundcard to turn it into data.

PeregrineFalcon

randombattle wrote: »

FyreWulff wrote: »

darleysam wrote: »

FyreWulff wrote: »

slash000 wrote: »

That guy doesn't gesture with his hands enough when explaining things.

Also, Didj is a terrible name.

Lastly.. The most bizarre thing I ever read about porting was when Doom was ported to a digital camera. Yeah.

Also, Duke Nukem 3D on the Game.com.

Know what's even more bizarre? How some people got the firmware off some Canon cameras.

by making it's busy light blink out the firmware in binary, picking it up with a light sensor that generates a sound file on a computer running Audacity, and then converting the sound file to the firmware

That's... awesome. I will never doubt another thing I see in CSI, House or X-Files.

Finally found the page detailing it again.

http://chdk.wikia.com/wiki/Porting_the_CHDK#Hardware-software_solution

Honestly I would love to know what made this guy sit down and think

Gee if I use the busy light I can get the camera to output the firmware in binary! Maybe then I'll rout it through a soundcard to turn it into data.

"Weed."

maximumzero

Einhander wrote: »

Yeah, the "I'm gonna eat through six AA batteries in about two and a half to three hours" thing does really blow, especially since the rechargable battery pack was so expensive, but you can use a a Sega Genesis AC adaptor to plug it in while you're in one spot.

Just make sure to find a model number MK-2103 AC adaptor, Goodwill usually has a few for $0.50 or whatever.

It was the damn screen (color and backlit, the hardware's strongest features) and the fact that power wise it was pretty much just a mobile Master System that utterly slaughtered the battery life.

The backlight on my Game Gear died years ago.

I was so sad.

Sonic Triple Trouble how I miss thee.

Einhander

That, along with the shitty Sonic the Hedgehog port for the GBA made me sort of think about how sad it was that Sonic the Hedgehog on the (comparitively considerably more powerful) Game Boy Advance was so goddamned shitty when Sonic Pocket Adventure for the NGPC was so goddamned awesome.

cloudeagle

Wow, Wiki says game.com sold less than 300,000 units.

Also, I love this description of the Duke port:

For example, the FPS Duke Nukem was presented in the first person, and while shooting does happen, the manner in which it is handled is far from that of the typical First Person Shooter: the player shifts around a room one tile at a time, always facing forward, and presses the fire button if an enemy happens to obstruct his gun. Turning, strafing, jumping, and the finer subtleties of aiming are thus rendered non-existent.

Apparently most development was by Tiger in-house, even on 3rd party ports.

Heh, then there's this:

At the time, the platform was almost completely ignored by the gaming press. Tiger used provocative and potentially insulting marketing, including controversial slogans such as, "It plays more games than you idiots have brain cells.", which may have lost it supporters instead of gaining them.

sir_pinch-a-loaf

Oh hi, I'm here to remind you about this amazingly shitty piece of shit.



Ugh. I had one. I think I had two games, both Saturn ports. Virtua Fighter and Panzer Dragoon. I figured, if I can't afford a Saturn, then this will be an alright way to play these games, right? I was so wrong.

minigunwielder

Becks wrote: »

what the terrible shit is a leapster

The newest way to capitalize on Jack Thompson's ravings.

UncleSporky

yalborap

UncleSporky wrote: »

Just...

minigunwielder

So that's how Friend Computer's brainscrubbing techniques work...

Look at the guy's face.

I may make that my avatar.