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No, sir. Our model is the trapezoid!
Tweaked_Bat_
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So pyramid schemes. And other forms of business. Whether they're legitimate or not, I want to hear about all the great business ideas/plans everyone has brewing in their heads... their get rich quick schemes, and grand master-plans for multinational corporate empires.
If you could run any sort of business, what would it be?
Me personally? The other day, we drove past a crematorium on a Sunday, and it was fucking packed with cars and people, and it hit me, like a brick to the face: What a fucking great business idea! I mean, it's not like you'll ever run out of business, people are always gonna be dying! Flawless! Hell, you could run a cafe off the back of it, you know, wood fired pizzas etc. You'd make a killing!
So let me hear it! What are your best methods for scamming money off senior citizens etc etc?
Tweaked_Bat_ on
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Because people are always sick.
Of you.
Because you suck.
CHA CHING.
Porn sites seem pretty profitable as well.
So, you want a simple pine box because he's going to be cremated, and the ashes spread in the rose garden at the cemetary. Okay, that'll be $11,000."
Also, anything to do with weddings.
$15,000 for catering, $10,000 for photography, $5,000 for a few bunches of flowers whatwhat. Around here the photographers are the worst, because you don't even get the negatives, or legal ownership of the photos afterwards! If you want a 6x4 reprint of a picture to mail to a relative, that'll be $100 please.
The limo hire and the celebrant are the only bits that don't seem to have an extra zero thrown on the end of the price just for fun.
My screen is all slimed up.
Ice-burn dude.
A Porn site could be profitable, Chico, but the problem is, it's so easy to get good free porn these days. You'd really need to be bringing something new to the table. What can you offer us that is new and different?
I know. That's why it's so amazing!
Most people go fucking insane when in wedding mode.
It'll be called The Sex Pad.
And it will be videos of artists drawing naughty things, only they wont know that they are being filmed. There will be one camera on the face of the artist, one camera on the pad, and one full body camera.
There will also be some non-voyeur chatroom camartist tease things.
Platinum Pad Patrons get access to live shows where they get to suggest the naughty pictures to be drawn.
They rang up a catering place and ordered I think it was 100 places of one of their standard menus for a business conference at an unrelated venue and got a reasonable quote. Then they rang back a week later and ordered everything exactly the same for a wedding, and the price was more than double.
How is that legal?
That's hot.
You could go places with that.
it's just that people keep paying that much for wedding shit, so the people providing the services can keep charging that much
and quick!
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
you know... if the art thing doesn't pan out
but that's so improbable!
Yeah pretty much. That's why, where possible, you don't mention it's for a wedding. Some things can't be avoided though. This is also why I'm reluctant to ever have what is considered a "normal" wedding. I see/hear of them being organised all the time, and I just think "ugh, I'm in the wrong business here".
Doesn't he run a pizza place as a legitimate business front / money-laundering operation?
front?
what front?
What do you think about horses, K?
i always knew it would come to this.
so, yes.
Girlfriend and I have already decided that if/when we get married we're spending as little as possible on the wedding and then going nuts for the honeymoon.
Switch: 6200-8149-0919 / Wii U: maximumzero / 3DS: 0860-3352-3335 / eBay Shop
Plenty of people are going to be coming to you!
While they watch you draw the Campbell's Soup Twins mutually masturbate.
I'm just going to bide my time and wait for the wedding cash to start rolling in.
The real cash is in heroin.
First one's always free, then you have a customer for life.
fuckin' aye this year i'm participatin'
obvious conclusion: make hospital porn
alternatively, open a porn hospital
or both, so that when people get AIDS or burst their breast implants making your hospital porn, you can treat them in your porn hospital. and then they can make hospital porn there and continue the cycle.
god, i'm so fucking brilliant
I'm gonna make some of them for the letters "O" "L" and "D."
It spells "OLD."
8-)
You could also use the same letters to spell "DOL" or "LOD".
"OOO"
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/registry/wishlist/1A4GKH199FBMU/ - My wishlist
i even went with him to one of their open houses and the entire time i was going "dude how are you not getting that these people are crooks, how?"
That sounds like a brilliant way to shit away what little money you have.
does the demand for condoms ever go down?
If they ever discovered a cure for AIDs you'd be sunk.
Luckily the companies who own the condom factories are also the giant pharmaceutical companies, so they can keep that sort of bad business suppressed.
certainly many aspects of the wedding industry seem bloated in their pricing structure, but it always surprises me when people bitch about stuff like the cost of funerals, or wedding photographers as if these people must be rolling in cash simply because their costs aren't obvious to you
the simple observation that they're not taking their private helicopter everywhere should kind of tip you off that they probably aren't making as much mad cash as you think they are
Then my plan is working perfectly!
*rubs hands together*
Muahahahahaha...
...ha.
Switch: 6200-8149-0919 / Wii U: maximumzero / 3DS: 0860-3352-3335 / eBay Shop
Great for birthday cakes at the Department of Licensing or for Road Warrior Animal.
People will always need medicine