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Sir CarcassI have been shown the end of my worldRound Rock, TXRegistered Userregular
edited October 2008
Was the party planned before she made the commitment? It sucks the timing worked out like it did, but it doesn't seem that horrible to me that she's following through on a prior promise.
I think your fiance has the right idea. Shit happens but it's no reason to let it ruin your fun.
Either way, its not worth being pissed about--but if she had made a commitment back in June, and your fiancee just made plans for this, say, a couple weeks ago, you're out of line for being annoyed.
my fiance didn't plan this. the bridesmaids (her included) have been planning it the last few months. I really don't think I'm out of line as babysitting is a pretty replaceable commitment, and she has blown off other things with suspect excuses as of late, but you're probably right that it's just best to ignore this one.
I'd say ignore. It may also be a needed source of income for her.
bowen on
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
You're getting married to what is hopefully the girl of your dreams in two weeks, seriously, don't sweat the small stuff, you're getting worked up over nothing.
Either way, its not worth being pissed about--but if she had made a commitment back in June, and your fiancee just made plans for this, say, a couple weeks ago, you're out of line for being annoyed.
This.
Life doesn't completely revolve around your wedding.
you don't know under what circumstances she is baby-sitting. Maybe she hasn't mentioned why she's babysitting, but it might be an important and personal issue for her.
Hell, maybe she's not comfortable with the whole Chippendale bachelorette experience.
Enjoy yourselves and hopefully she'll be there for everything else.
My sister got married in the middle of August of this year. I was her maid of honour, and her four best friends (two from grade school, two she met in university) were her bridesmaids.
Here's the thing both she and I noticed: having a wedding is a fucking *great* way to figure out who your friends really are. Three of my sister's friends were absolutely wonderful... two of them helped out immensely with organizing stuff, and spent hours on the phone with my sister providing reassurance and emotional support. Another one didn't have a whole lot of initiative, but she was constantly friendly and helpful and willing to pitch in with whatever she was told to do. The fourth friend, though - who happened to be my sister's oldest friend, they've known each other since they were toddlers - was pretty much a miserable shit. She complained about everything from the date of the bachelorette to the quality of the seamstress who made our bridesmaids' outfits, and she bitched about people behind their backs. Two weeks after the wedding, when my sister got back from her honeymoon, this friend called her, asked *one* general question about how things went, then started trying to fucking solicit my sister. (This friend is a lawyer, and she had some story about how she was really close to a promotion at work, I mean she had her corner office laid out and everything, but the firm just wanted to see that she could bring in new clients, so she was looking really hard... it didn't even need to be a big client, it could be something really small and simple like a will, she'd even do it for less than her usual rate if it was for a good friend...). Oh, and the lawyer's wedding gift to my sister was $50 cash in an envelope with no card.
On the other hand... my sister had a fifth friend, one she didn't think was quite close enough to be a bridesmaid. But she came to the shower, despite having to bring her infant son, and her gifts at both the shower and the wedding were incredibly thoughtful. She was always smiling and cheerful and encouraging and a pleasure to be around, and even though she wasn't part of the formal bridal party, she never for an instant showed any sign of jealousy or resentment.
So, once all the dust had settled, my sister realized that her lawyer friend was a selfish bitch who only cared about her own status, while her more distant friend was actually a wonderful person. She'll probably never talk to the lawyer again, but I can see her and the fifth friend becoming much closer over time.
My advice to you: no, you shouldn't say anything. It's not your place. But show your fiancee this thread, and let her see that weddings are a fantastic test of friendship. If somebody is constantly blowing her off and making excuses... well, for now, just smile and be polite, because there's no point in getting all stressed over it. But once the drama is over, maybe she should reconsider her friendship with that person. At the same time, though, she should be watching for any of her friends who quietly do everything they can to make life easier for her, just because they care about her. There will be one or two, at least; let her gratitude towards those people balance out her disappointment with the black sheep.
Posts
I think your fiance has the right idea. Shit happens but it's no reason to let it ruin your fun.
It does however suck and I hope that your fiancee isnt too broken up over it
I'd say ignore. It may also be a needed source of income for her.
This.
Life doesn't completely revolve around your wedding.
Hell, maybe she's not comfortable with the whole Chippendale bachelorette experience.
Enjoy yourselves and hopefully she'll be there for everything else.
Here's the thing both she and I noticed: having a wedding is a fucking *great* way to figure out who your friends really are. Three of my sister's friends were absolutely wonderful... two of them helped out immensely with organizing stuff, and spent hours on the phone with my sister providing reassurance and emotional support. Another one didn't have a whole lot of initiative, but she was constantly friendly and helpful and willing to pitch in with whatever she was told to do. The fourth friend, though - who happened to be my sister's oldest friend, they've known each other since they were toddlers - was pretty much a miserable shit. She complained about everything from the date of the bachelorette to the quality of the seamstress who made our bridesmaids' outfits, and she bitched about people behind their backs. Two weeks after the wedding, when my sister got back from her honeymoon, this friend called her, asked *one* general question about how things went, then started trying to fucking solicit my sister. (This friend is a lawyer, and she had some story about how she was really close to a promotion at work, I mean she had her corner office laid out and everything, but the firm just wanted to see that she could bring in new clients, so she was looking really hard... it didn't even need to be a big client, it could be something really small and simple like a will, she'd even do it for less than her usual rate if it was for a good friend...). Oh, and the lawyer's wedding gift to my sister was $50 cash in an envelope with no card.
On the other hand... my sister had a fifth friend, one she didn't think was quite close enough to be a bridesmaid. But she came to the shower, despite having to bring her infant son, and her gifts at both the shower and the wedding were incredibly thoughtful. She was always smiling and cheerful and encouraging and a pleasure to be around, and even though she wasn't part of the formal bridal party, she never for an instant showed any sign of jealousy or resentment.
So, once all the dust had settled, my sister realized that her lawyer friend was a selfish bitch who only cared about her own status, while her more distant friend was actually a wonderful person. She'll probably never talk to the lawyer again, but I can see her and the fifth friend becoming much closer over time.
My advice to you: no, you shouldn't say anything. It's not your place. But show your fiancee this thread, and let her see that weddings are a fantastic test of friendship. If somebody is constantly blowing her off and making excuses... well, for now, just smile and be polite, because there's no point in getting all stressed over it. But once the drama is over, maybe she should reconsider her friendship with that person. At the same time, though, she should be watching for any of her friends who quietly do everything they can to make life easier for her, just because they care about her. There will be one or two, at least; let her gratitude towards those people balance out her disappointment with the black sheep.