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Posts

  • stiliststilist Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Simon Moon wrote: »
    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender looks up at him and says, "Hey, man, are you aware that you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

    The pirate replies, "Arrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
    You're doing it wrong.
    Nah, he’s on target.

    stilist on
    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • loverockchildloverockchild Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    fundamentaly wrong

    loverockchild on
  • AlectharAlecthar Alan Shore We're not territorial about that sort of thing, are we?Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Simon Moon wrote: »
    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender looks up at him and says, "Hey, man, are you aware that you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

    The pirate replies, "Arrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

    You're doing it wrong.

    Is there a way to do that joke right?

    Alecthar on
  • stiliststilist Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Alecthar wrote: »
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Simon Moon wrote: »
    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender looks up at him and says, "Hey, man, are you aware that you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

    The pirate replies, "Arrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
    You're doing it wrong.
    Is there a way to do that joke right?
    Not tell it.

    stilist on
    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • Simon MoonSimon Moon Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    You're doing it wrong.

    You're right, let me try again.

    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender looks up at him and says "Hey, man, are you aware that you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

    The pirate chops off the bartender's head, drinks three bottles of whiskey, and finally meets his end when the rest of the bar descend upon him as he tries to rape a woman he insists on referring to as a "saucy wench."

    Simon Moon on
    Steam: simon moon
  • MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Drunk is sitting in an alley all depressed and sees a sign, "Wanted, Shaggy Dog."

    So he looks up and across from him is the shaggiest saint bernard he has ever seen in his entire life. It's huge, you can't even see it's eyes and he has to sink his arms up to the elbow to find it's collar.

    So he tramps across the city to the address and finds this really rich house. He goes around to the servants entrance and knocks on the door. This arrogant looking posh butler opens it and he goes "I found you a Shaggy Dog!"

    And the butler goes "Not that damn shaggy" and slams the door.

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    So a black man walks into KFC.

    He is a vegetarian and orders a biscuit with corn on the cob.

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Drunk is sitting in an alley all depressed and sees a sign, "Wanted, Shaggy Dog."

    So he looks up and across from him is the shaggiest saint bernard he has ever seen in his entire life. It's huge, you can't even see it's eyes and he has to sink his arms up to the elbow to find it's collar.

    So he tramps across the city to the address and finds this really rich house. He goes around to the servants entrance and knocks on the door. This arrogant looking posh butler opens it and he goes "I found you a Shaggy Dog!"

    And the butler goes "Not that damn shaggy" and slams the door.


    So it's true. Jokes in Australia suffer from the same fate as a flushing toliet.

    It does opposite of what it normally does in the states.

    Fascinating.

    Ludious on
  • MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Ludious wrote: »
    Drunk is sitting in an alley all depressed and sees a sign, "Wanted, Shaggy Dog."

    So he looks up and across from him is the shaggiest saint bernard he has ever seen in his entire life. It's huge, you can't even see it's eyes and he has to sink his arms up to the elbow to find it's collar.

    So he tramps across the city to the address and finds this really rich house. He goes around to the servants entrance and knocks on the door. This arrogant looking posh butler opens it and he goes "I found you a Shaggy Dog!"

    And the butler goes "Not that damn shaggy" and slams the door.


    So it's true. Jokes in Australia suffer from the same fate as a flushing toliet.

    It does opposite of what it normally does in the states.

    Fascinating.

    I got it from a joke book printed in america, smartass.

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Ludious wrote: »
    Drunk is sitting in an alley all depressed and sees a sign, "Wanted, Shaggy Dog."

    So he looks up and across from him is the shaggiest saint bernard he has ever seen in his entire life. It's huge, you can't even see it's eyes and he has to sink his arms up to the elbow to find it's collar.

    So he tramps across the city to the address and finds this really rich house. He goes around to the servants entrance and knocks on the door. This arrogant looking posh butler opens it and he goes "I found you a Shaggy Dog!"

    And the butler goes "Not that damn shaggy" and slams the door.


    So it's true. Jokes in Australia suffer from the same fate as a flushing toliet.

    It does opposite of what it normally does in the states.

    Fascinating.

    I got it from a joke book printed in america, smartass.
    You obviously translated it wrong, then.

    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud on
  • Simon MoonSimon Moon Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Racist.


    Two dogs are walking down the street. The first one turns to the second one and says "woof." The second one says "woof woof."

    Simon Moon on
    Steam: simon moon
  • FrosteeyFrosteey Elaise 1521-2945-8940Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Elendil...!

    You never used the picture I slaved so hard over.

    Frosteey on
  • stiliststilist Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I have an old book with jokes of various formats. There was a shaggy dog section, and it wasn’t until several years after reading it that I learned what a shaggy dog joke was.

    Early warning signs, my friends.

    stilist on
    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • evilbobevilbob RADELAIDERegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I need to find my brother's copy of Kochie's joke book. Then you'll all regret telling bad jokes in [chat].

    evilbob on
    l5sruu1fyatf.jpg

  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I guess I don't know what a shaggy dog joke is.

    Ludious on
  • MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Ludious wrote: »
    Drunk is sitting in an alley all depressed and sees a sign, "Wanted, Shaggy Dog."

    So he looks up and across from him is the shaggiest saint bernard he has ever seen in his entire life. It's huge, you can't even see it's eyes and he has to sink his arms up to the elbow to find it's collar.

    So he tramps across the city to the address and finds this really rich house. He goes around to the servants entrance and knocks on the door. This arrogant looking posh butler opens it and he goes "I found you a Shaggy Dog!"

    And the butler goes "Not that damn shaggy" and slams the door.


    So it's true. Jokes in Australia suffer from the same fate as a flushing toliet.

    It does opposite of what it normally does in the states.

    Fascinating.

    I got it from a joke book printed in america, smartass.
    You obviously translated it wrong, then.

    Har har.

    I've never understood that joke.

    Like at all.

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
  • stiliststilist Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Ludious wrote: »
    I guess I don't know what a shaggy dog joke is.
    One that’s intentionally dragged out with irrelevant details and has a silly punchline. It’s sort of a joke about jokes.

    stilist on
    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Frosteey wrote: »
    Elendil...!

    You never used the picture I slaved so hard over.

    I want a sig.

    DeShadowC on
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Simon Moon wrote: »
    Racist.


    Two dogs are walking down the street. The first one turns to the second one and says "woof." The second one says "woof woof."

    Now you're doing it right.

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
  • FrosteeyFrosteey Elaise 1521-2945-8940Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Frosteey wrote: »
    Elendil...!

    You never used the picture I slaved so hard over.

    I want a sig.

    Pick a color.

    Frosteey on
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Frosteey wrote: »
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Frosteey wrote: »
    Elendil...!

    You never used the picture I slaved so hard over.

    I want a sig.

    Pick a color.

    Dark green. Dare I say forest.

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
  • MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    stilist wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    I guess I don't know what a shaggy dog joke is.
    One that’s intentionally dragged out with irrelevant details and has a silly punchline. It’s sort of a joke about jokes.

    Oh that's what it is.

    Cos the original joke had all these extra details and things like it went on for a full page.

    I see what I did wrong there, I shortened it.

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
  • FrosteeyFrosteey Elaise 1521-2945-8940Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Frosteey wrote: »
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Frosteey wrote: »
    Elendil...!

    You never used the picture I slaved so hard over.

    I want a sig.

    Pick a color.

    Dark green. Dare I say forest.

    : (

    Frosteey on
  • Simon MoonSimon Moon Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Ludious wrote: »
    Drunk is sitting in an alley all depressed and sees a sign, "Wanted, Shaggy Dog."

    So he looks up and across from him is the shaggiest saint bernard he has ever seen in his entire life. It's huge, you can't even see it's eyes and he has to sink his arms up to the elbow to find it's collar.

    So he tramps across the city to the address and finds this really rich house. He goes around to the servants entrance and knocks on the door. This arrogant looking posh butler opens it and he goes "I found you a Shaggy Dog!"

    And the butler goes "Not that damn shaggy" and slams the door.


    So it's true. Jokes in Australia suffer from the same fate as a flushing toliet.

    It does opposite of what it normally does in the states.

    Fascinating.

    I got it from a joke book printed in america, smartass.
    You obviously translated it wrong, then.

    Har har.

    I've never understood that joke.

    Like at all.

    A shaggy dog story is one that meanders for a long time (I've heard one stretched to over 30 minutes), and has an anti-punch line. e.g. A story about a man who, every year for his birthday and xmas, asks for only a green billiard ball. The storyteller then proceeds to add as much detail as he likes, and then, as the man lies on his death bed, someone asks why all the pool balls, and he responds, "well," and then dies.

    Simon Moon on
    Steam: simon moon
  • Simon MoonSimon Moon Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    stilist wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    I guess I don't know what a shaggy dog joke is.
    One that’s intentionally dragged out with irrelevant details and has a silly punchline. It’s sort of a joke about jokes.

    Oh that's what it is.

    Cos the original joke had all these extra details and things like it went on for a full page.

    I see what I did wrong there, I shortened it.

    Which actually fit with the erstwhile theme of the thread. You told an anti-shaggy dog story.

    That you did so accidentally is pretty funny.

    Simon Moon on
    Steam: simon moon
  • evilbobevilbob RADELAIDERegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    7 hours to go until possibly the greatest 2 hours of my life so far.

    evilbob on
    l5sruu1fyatf.jpg

  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    i am watching animal cops again what the heck people imbedded collars are you that lazy that you let your dog's neck grow AROUND the collar and turn into a festering wound?

    wtf.

    seriously people. Why?

    I hate people who hurt animals. I need a burger.

    Ludious on
  • DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Frosteey wrote: »
    Frosteey wrote: »
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Frosteey wrote: »
    Elendil...!

    You never used the picture I slaved so hard over.

    I want a sig.

    Pick a color.

    Dark green. Dare I say forest.

    : (

    I'm not picky. If it goes with my AV all the better though.

    DeShadowC on
  • Simon MoonSimon Moon Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    7 hours to go until possibly the greatest 2 hours of my life so far.

    Ha. You'll be lucky if you last 2 minutes.

    Simon Moon on
    Steam: simon moon
  • MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Simon Moon wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    I guess I don't know what a shaggy dog joke is.
    One that’s intentionally dragged out with irrelevant details and has a silly punchline. It’s sort of a joke about jokes.

    Oh that's what it is.

    Cos the original joke had all these extra details and things like it went on for a full page.

    I see what I did wrong there, I shortened it.

    Which actually fit with the erstwhile theme of the thread. You told an anti-shaggy dog story.

    That you did so accidentally is pretty funny.

    Sweet.

    I have the best luck.

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
  • evilbobevilbob RADELAIDERegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Simon Moon wrote: »
    evilbob wrote: »
    7 hours to go until possibly the greatest 2 hours of my life so far.

    Ha. You'll be lucky if you last 2 minutes.

    Sigh, one day I'll stop accidentally setting people up. One day.

    evilbob on
    l5sruu1fyatf.jpg

  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Wow. John McCain...did you just say that?

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
  • evilbobevilbob RADELAIDERegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Wow. John McCain...did you just say that?

    What did he say? I can't hear the tv from here.

    evilbob on
    l5sruu1fyatf.jpg

  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    DeShadowC wrote: »
    Frosteey wrote: »
    Elendil...!

    You never used the picture I slaved so hard over.

    I want a sig.

    Me too.

    Elldren on
    fuck gendered marketing
  • stiliststilist Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Scriabin’s Opus 11 is quite pretty.

    stilist on
    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    Wow. John McCain...did you just say that?

    What did he say? I can't hear the tv from here.

    Basically

    "Yeah i'll get Osama. Barack won't. I won't tell you how i'll get Osama because then he'd know how i'm going to get him but i'll get him. Let me tell you one thing. I'll get him."

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
  • MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    Wow. John McCain...did you just say that?

    What did he say? I can't hear the tv from here.

    Basically

    "Yeah i'll get Osama. Barack won't. I won't tell you how i'll get Osama because then he'd know how i'm going to get him but i'll get him. Let me tell you one thing. I'll get him."

    Meh. He used that one back in the primary debates. Booooring.

    MikeMan on
  • DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    evilbob wrote: »
    Wow. John McCain...did you just say that?

    What did he say? I can't hear the tv from here.

    Basically

    "Yeah i'll get Osama. Barack won't. I won't tell you how i'll get Osama because then he'd know how i'm going to get him but i'll get him. Let me tell you one thing. I'll get him."

    o_OO_oo_OO_oo_O

    DeShadowC on
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Eyes of incredulous dancing!

    Elldren on
    fuck gendered marketing
  • Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    No soap, radio!

    Apothe0sis on
This discussion has been closed.