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shoot anything that has more than two legs

geckonidaegeckonidae Registered User regular
edited October 2008 in Social Entropy++
dear face paint plus plus,

I just got attacked by a cockroach the size of a man in my kitchen. I guess it's officially insect season.

Tell me some horrible insect stories so I can work myself into a gibbering wreck.

geckonidae on
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    Threadbare SockThreadbare Sock regular
    edited October 2008
    man the summertime is the insect season

    are you on the bottom of the planet?

    Threadbare Sock on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    FOOT SWEATERS
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    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    sometimes im afraid to sleep at night because i worry that a cockroach or a spider will crawl into my ear

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
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    geckonidaegeckonidae Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Westralia. Right now my boyfriend is telling me how much bigger the cockroaches get up north. But this was goddamn huge! I never even saw a cockroach back where I used to live and now it's all, charging me from across the bench.

    geckonidae on
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    bentbent Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I'm still finding giant house spiders everywhere.

    bent on
    sig1.png
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    J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I woke up only to see a grasshopper staring at me from the foot of the bed. By my best estimate, it must have been six feet high at the shoulder. I asked it for the key. It pounced. My arms returned with a smorgasbord of fish.

    J3p on
    +./\ 50 ?. 50
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO MO'FUCKIN HOUSE

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    bugs are gross, dudes.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Secretly an anti-immigrant tirade.

    MKR on
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    Threadbare SockThreadbare Sock regular
    edited October 2008
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO MO'FUCKIN HOUSE

    hes in australia

    which is not a continent but in fact a floating mass of spiders and other unpleasant things

    Threadbare Sock on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    FOOT SWEATERS
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    place I used to work had a problem with wolf spiders

    be sitting there minding my own business and this gigantic something would skitter across my desk

    and yes, I absolutely would scream like a little girl

    Usagi on
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    geckonidaegeckonidae Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Threadbare Sock wrote: »
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO MO'FUCKIN HOUSE

    hes in australia

    which is not a continent but in fact a floating mass of spiders and other unpleasant things

    We actually sprayed all our windows and stuff with that magic bug-away Mortein stuff

    but so much for that D:

    I considered squashing it but it was so big it would have made some epic crunching noise ajshdsakhdaskud

    geckonidae on
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    sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Booger CoveRegistered User regular
    edited October 2008
    My apartment complex is filled with giant fucking spiders

    It's awesome

    One of them died on my girlfriend's car and was stuck to the roof while she drove around on the freeways all day

    I told her that spiders would sacrifice themselves for their young, and that the dead one was actually an egg sac full of little baby spiders. Then I informed her that she should be very careful when getting out of the car because who knows when they might come out and crawl into the car

    That was a fun couple of days

    spono on
    640qocnq4ske.gif
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    geckonidae wrote: »
    Threadbare Sock wrote: »
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO MO'FUCKIN HOUSE

    hes in australia

    which is not a continent but in fact a floating mass of spiders and other unpleasant things

    We actually sprayed all our windows and stuff with that magic bug-away Mortein stuff

    but so much for that D:

    I considered squashing it but it was so big it would have made some epic crunching noise ajshdsakhdaskud

    if it was a roach it was probably already in your house

    set out some stuff for them to take back to their nest

    then clean out your cabinets and refridgerator and make sure there isnt any old or open food laying about

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    geckonidaegeckonidae Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    geckonidae wrote: »
    Threadbare Sock wrote: »
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO HOUSE CLEAN YO MO'FUCKIN HOUSE

    hes in australia

    which is not a continent but in fact a floating mass of spiders and other unpleasant things

    We actually sprayed all our windows and stuff with that magic bug-away Mortein stuff

    but so much for that D:

    I considered squashing it but it was so big it would have made some epic crunching noise ajshdsakhdaskud

    if it was a roach it was probably already in your house

    set out some stuff for them to take back to their nest

    then clean out your cabinets and refridgerator and make sure there isnt any old or open food laying about

    some stuff

    like, babies, dogs, pillows? What does this cockroach want from meeeee

    Also not to be an excuse maker but our house is pretty tidy, I'm choosing to blame the cockroach on Australia being a huge crawling mass of insects floating in the sea

    geckonidae on
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    MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Got any cardboard?

    MKR on
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    J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Once I tried to crush a cockroach underfoot but it was so big it didn't get crushed and it carried me around a little until I fell over.

    J3p on
    +./\ 50 ?. 50
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    geckonidaegeckonidae Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    MKR wrote: »
    Got any cardboard?

    I have much cardboard!

    But right now I am going to bed here's hoping I don't get carried away by a legion of insects in the night

    I remain hopeful that someone will have a truly terrifying story for me in the morning because insects are way creepier than ghost stories

    goodnight SE Salad Banjo


    edit: J3p's posts are my favourite thing about this thread

    geckonidae on
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    AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    yesterday i was driving and i put down my window to feel the cool breeze when i noticed a couple of huge fucking spider legs sticking out from under the side mirror and put the window back up out of fear that it would decide to crawl on inside

    no fresh air for me

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
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    ubernekouberneko Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    We just get a lot of crickets walking around the house, nothing crazy. I am awaiting the day I find a Gila monster in my garage though, I guess that happens every so often to people.

    uberneko on
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    MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    geckonidae wrote: »
    MKR wrote: »
    Got any cardboard?

    I have much cardboard!

    But right now I am going to bed here's hoping I don't get carried away by a legion of insects in the night

    I remain hopeful that someone will have a truly terrifying story for me in the morning because insects are way creepier than ghost stories

    goodnight SE Salad Banjo


    edit: J3p's posts are my favourite thing about this thread

    Cockroaches <3 cardboard.

    MKR on
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    AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    also i live in a four storey townhouse and my room is way up at the top and this year a female friend has been stayin in my brothers room way down on the bottom floor and a few times ive been chillin in my room when i get a phonecall from her because a spider walked into her room and she is crouched in the corner paralysed with fear and wants me to kill it

    usually out of laziness and spite ill try to catch it using as many of her things as possible

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
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    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    my garage is full of these lil buggers

    http://www.pestproducts.com/images/Cave-Cricket.jpg

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    I just punched a giant spider for looking at me wrong with all of it's eyes.

    I'm 6'2". What's a spider got?

    NotASenator on
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    ubernekouberneko Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    reticulategilamonstereh1.jpg

    "hey there 8)"

    uberneko on
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    MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I just punched a giant spider for looking at me wrong with all of it's eyes.

    I'm 6'2". What's a spider got?

    venom

    MKR on
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    J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    The worst part about huntsman spiders is that they're so flat that they can hide behind and in between just about anything.

    Oh don't mind me I'm just taking down this dilapidated poster oh what's thi- fuck FUCK FUCKING SPIDER FUCK

    J3p on
    +./\ 50 ?. 50
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    MKR wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I just punched a giant spider for looking at me wrong with all of it's eyes.

    I'm 6'2". What's a spider got?

    venom.jpg

    NotASenator on
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    ubernekouberneko Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Whenever I go on Wikipedia to look at pictures of spiders I always feel like there is one crawling on my foot under the desk.

    uberneko on
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    AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    oh and my old house was more in the bush and instead of more houses on the other side of the road it was just bush descending into a valley so it was a cool view and all
    sometimes the fire brigade would come along and set fire to the bush so all the little shit gets burned away to reduce the risk of bushfires, and at those times all these crazy looking fucking bizarre assortment of strange insects would escape the fire by crossing the street into our garden

    once in that house i was just lazing watching tv when this baby little scorpion decides to cross the carpet right in front of me
    i shoulda captured that fucker straight away and done some shit to it or thrown it into the bush but i went to get something and when i came back it was gone and i think i spent the rest of that night watching tv with my feet up on the couch

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
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    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    some bugs are awesome though

    check this shit out

    Giraffe_Beetle,_Perinet.jpg

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
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    MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    penisbugs are the best bugs

    MKR on
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    AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    J3p wrote: »
    The worst part about huntsman spiders is that they're so flat that they can hide behind and in between just about anything.

    Oh don't mind me I'm just taking down this dilapidated poster oh what's thi- fuck FUCK FUCKING SPIDER FUCK

    yea it was a huntsman in my mirror
    people say those things are harmless and leave them alone but fuck off they are the scariest looking bastards

    last week one appeared while i was in the living room with my mother and we went after it and it conveniently crawled between a crack in the pages of a magazine so i just had to punch the magazine to deal with it

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Insects and spiders don't really frighten me much but rats do. I fucking hate rats.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Was it wearing your shoes? Did it walk like a man?

    Centipede Damascus on
    twitter/tumblr
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    AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    sometimes when i dont go to uni or i just get back pretty early in the middle of the day ill go out for a smoke on my balcony only to be greeted by a bunch of wasps just checkin in while they fly by so i gotta duck down while smoking and hope they stay away from me and the smoke until they leave

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
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    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    Butters wrote: »
    Insects and spiders don't really frighten me much but rats do. I fucking hate rats.

    one time i was at some shitty gas station in knoxville at around midnight and as i was putting gas in my tank

    a rat comes running at me from the shadowy woods surrounding the place, picks up some junk food wrapper

    next to my foot, and just takes off into the darkness

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    My former office had someone who kept two of those big ass giant Madagascar hissing cockroaches as pets.

    Then, one day, they were both gone.

    One was found in the president's car as he was doing 80 down the highway. Once he changed his fucking pants, he returned it.

    The other was somewhere in the building. Nobody had a clue where, until it fell from the ceiling, dead, and landed in the middle of a table we were having a meeting at.

    Fucking cockroaches.

    DrZiplock on
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    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    My former office had someone who kept two of those big ass giant Madagascar hissing cockroaches as pets.

    why D:

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2008
    Butters wrote: »
    Insects and spiders don't really frighten me much but rats do. I fucking hate rats.
    with good reason
    those vermin are much more potentially harmful than the vast majority of bugs and spiders

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2008
    tsplitter wrote: »
    some bugs are awesome though

    check this shit out

    Giraffe_Beetle,_Perinet.jpg

    that thing doesn't even make sense

    potatoe on
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