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Let's talk about Army Men
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Devo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered User regular
Devo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered User regular
No, not the video games, silly, the toys that inspired the games. These things are a blast, and this website can show you how to do proper battling. http://www.thortrains.net/armymen/ Not only do they have normal army men, they have pirates, Indians, Cowboys, Scuba Divers, Space Men, Dinosaurs, Farm animals, Knights, Vikings, Romans, Monsters, Cops, Robbers, Firemen, and Ninjas. They are cheap, cheap, cheap, and pretty durable unless you screwed up with them big time. Army men are similar to Lego. There is no way that you can outgrow them.
For those too lazy to click a few links, here's the basic rules for fighting with Army Men, which you can change per your whims:
Original Introduction
Scale
Historical Accuracy
Civil War
Enemies of your troops
For those too lazy to click a few links, here's the basic rules for fighting with Army Men, which you can change per your whims:
Original Introduction
There are many ways to enjoy Army Men. The simplest and most common involves a sandpile or dirt backyard, small garden trowel and wood twigs. You can dig bunkers, fortifications and trenchlines.
Using them with electric trains (only larger O and G scale trains!) is fun. Soldiers ride in hoppers and gondolas. Do not stuff them in boxcars because it is hard to get them out. Note that a train can crash a tank, but a tank cannot crash a locomotive. So don't be a dummy: never put tanks on train tracks.
Outdoors, soldiers can be bombed with 'enemy dirt bombs." Small, dry clumps of dirt will seem to explode upon impact.
Using them with electric trains (only larger O and G scale trains!) is fun. Soldiers ride in hoppers and gondolas. Do not stuff them in boxcars because it is hard to get them out. Note that a train can crash a tank, but a tank cannot crash a locomotive. So don't be a dummy: never put tanks on train tracks.
Outdoors, soldiers can be bombed with 'enemy dirt bombs." Small, dry clumps of dirt will seem to explode upon impact.
Scale
The average Army man's scale is 1/35 to 1/25. Though most wagons, jeeps and trucks were close to scale, some were not. Tanks and half tracks were almost never to scale. Do you insist on scale accuracy? Then get into HO scale model railroading, because you won't find it around Army Men!
Historical Accuracy
Are you kidding? Knights, Indians and several other types of Army Men are the embodiment of Anachronism. And how many WW2 play sets came complete with post war tanks like the M41, M47 and M48? And helicopters? If you're into historical accuracy, take up scale models and prepare to overpay and overpay for toy soldiers that you wouldn't dare play with.
Troops
US soldiers: US Army, US Marines, Norwegian Army, Danish Army, South Koreans, ARVN, Canadians
Germans: German Army, Swedes. Some companies now sell green Germans as modern US troops in the new helmet.
British: British Troops can be used for Israelis if they are molded in Green, and Arabs if they are molded in tan. Even though the Canadians used to have British uniforms, it is considered prudent to use US troops for The Great White North's army.
Foreign Legion: in a pinch, Foreign Legionnaires can be used as Union troops.
Civil War: Union troops can substitute for foreign legion. Grey Confederates can substitute for Germans.
Cowboys can also be used for Alamo Texans.
Russians: Russians can substitute for Poles, North Koreans and Red Chinese
Japanese: it is allowable to use Japanese for Red Chinese, North Koreans or VC.
Mexicans: Alamo Mexicans can be used as War of 1812 guys. Blue go with the US, red with the British.
Pirates: Pirates can be used as Revolutionary War and Civil War sailors, and as Alamo Texans.
Commandos: a small group of soldiers, if molded in a distinctly different shade of green than your regular Army Men, could be used as Commandos or Rangers.
Special Forces: it was allowable to paint ten soldiers' helmets red and designate them as Special Forces. They acted as Commandos.
A medic can heal a man who was shot by taking out the bullet. He cannot do this if the guy was bayonetted or bombed or fired up.
Vehicles
Germans: German Army, Swedes. Some companies now sell green Germans as modern US troops in the new helmet.
British: British Troops can be used for Israelis if they are molded in Green, and Arabs if they are molded in tan. Even though the Canadians used to have British uniforms, it is considered prudent to use US troops for The Great White North's army.
Foreign Legion: in a pinch, Foreign Legionnaires can be used as Union troops.
Civil War: Union troops can substitute for foreign legion. Grey Confederates can substitute for Germans.
Cowboys can also be used for Alamo Texans.
Russians: Russians can substitute for Poles, North Koreans and Red Chinese
Japanese: it is allowable to use Japanese for Red Chinese, North Koreans or VC.
Mexicans: Alamo Mexicans can be used as War of 1812 guys. Blue go with the US, red with the British.
Pirates: Pirates can be used as Revolutionary War and Civil War sailors, and as Alamo Texans.
Commandos: a small group of soldiers, if molded in a distinctly different shade of green than your regular Army Men, could be used as Commandos or Rangers.
Special Forces: it was allowable to paint ten soldiers' helmets red and designate them as Special Forces. They acted as Commandos.
A medic can heal a man who was shot by taking out the bullet. He cannot do this if the guy was bayonetted or bombed or fired up.
Both sides had to have a fair share of vehicles. Green vehicles were generally US, and grey were German. Later, some tan vehicles were also German or Japanese. If you had only green vehicles, some had to be given to the other side. A few companies molded them in blue or other colors. Blue could mean Navy or Air Force, but usually they became the Enemy. In a pinch, which was most of the time, they enemy had Green vehicles, too.
Jeeps: a machine gun could knock out a jeep, but jeeps could drive many places. The power of Jeeps increased after the series Rat Patrol made its debut, and then a Jeep with a machine gun could knock out a half track or open self-propelled gun. You could mount a machine gun, mortar or bazooka on a Jeep. You could tow a cannon with a jeep, but not mount a cannon on it.
Trucks: trucks only carry men and tow cannons.
Half Tracks: they can go anywhere and run over Jeeps and Trucks. Half Tracks can even mount a cannon. The second best vehicle on the battlefield.
Tanks: Tanks can go anywhere, knock down any building, run over any other vehicle except another tank or a train. To blow up a tank, you need another tank, a big cannon or a bazooka.
Self-propelled guns: they are like tanks, but they have an open top and can be blown up if a guy throws in a grenade or drops a mortar on them.
Helicopters: these are rare. They could carry soldiers and drop bombs (remember - we hadn't seen Hueys gunships or Cobras yet!). They could be knocked out with machine guns or cannons.
Airplanes: airplanes could carry paratroops, strafe and drop bombs. They could be knocked out by machine guns and cannons.
Rockets and Missiles: they had the same firepower as cannons, but could be shot up and come straight down into a bunker.
Armored cars: like tanks, but could not ride all over and were vulnerable to having their tires shot out. Armored cars could only go where trucks could go.
Weapons
Jeeps: a machine gun could knock out a jeep, but jeeps could drive many places. The power of Jeeps increased after the series Rat Patrol made its debut, and then a Jeep with a machine gun could knock out a half track or open self-propelled gun. You could mount a machine gun, mortar or bazooka on a Jeep. You could tow a cannon with a jeep, but not mount a cannon on it.
Trucks: trucks only carry men and tow cannons.
Half Tracks: they can go anywhere and run over Jeeps and Trucks. Half Tracks can even mount a cannon. The second best vehicle on the battlefield.
Tanks: Tanks can go anywhere, knock down any building, run over any other vehicle except another tank or a train. To blow up a tank, you need another tank, a big cannon or a bazooka.
Self-propelled guns: they are like tanks, but they have an open top and can be blown up if a guy throws in a grenade or drops a mortar on them.
Helicopters: these are rare. They could carry soldiers and drop bombs (remember - we hadn't seen Hueys gunships or Cobras yet!). They could be knocked out with machine guns or cannons.
Airplanes: airplanes could carry paratroops, strafe and drop bombs. They could be knocked out by machine guns and cannons.
Rockets and Missiles: they had the same firepower as cannons, but could be shot up and come straight down into a bunker.
Armored cars: like tanks, but could not ride all over and were vulnerable to having their tires shot out. Armored cars could only go where trucks could go.
Weapons have distinct powers and liabilities. Know them, and make sure you have enough when you go to battle!
A rifle could shoot one guy at a time.
A submachine gun could shoot up a bunch of guys or a jeep.
A machine gun could shoot up troops, jeeps, trucks, half tracks and aircrafts. If fired from above, like on a hill, it could also blow up a self-propelled gun.
A mortar could drop bombs and blow up anything but tanks and aircraft.
A small cannon could bomb anything except tanks.
A big cannon could blast anything. Of course, its crew was vulnerable to everything out there.
A bazooka could blow up any vehicle. However, it did not blow up a bunch of troops.
A flamethrower could burn out a tank.
A missile was like a big cannon.
Hand grenades are like a mortar, but they are thrown at close range.
Airplane bombs could blast anything except tanks.
Civil War, Revolutionary War and Pirate cannons could not harm tanks, half tracks, armored cars or self-propelled guns.
Civil War mortars acted like regular mortars.
Nukes destroy both sides, so nobody can use them.
A rifle could shoot one guy at a time.
A submachine gun could shoot up a bunch of guys or a jeep.
A machine gun could shoot up troops, jeeps, trucks, half tracks and aircrafts. If fired from above, like on a hill, it could also blow up a self-propelled gun.
A mortar could drop bombs and blow up anything but tanks and aircraft.
A small cannon could bomb anything except tanks.
A big cannon could blast anything. Of course, its crew was vulnerable to everything out there.
A bazooka could blow up any vehicle. However, it did not blow up a bunch of troops.
A flamethrower could burn out a tank.
A missile was like a big cannon.
Hand grenades are like a mortar, but they are thrown at close range.
Airplane bombs could blast anything except tanks.
Civil War, Revolutionary War and Pirate cannons could not harm tanks, half tracks, armored cars or self-propelled guns.
Civil War mortars acted like regular mortars.
Nukes destroy both sides, so nobody can use them.
Civil War
Cowboys, Pirates, Davy Crockett guys and Alamo Texans could be used to supplement either side. If a figure was molded in blue or grey, however, he had to go to the appropriate side.
Cannons could blow up anything on the Civil War battlefield. If you used Civil War cannons to supplement a modern war, however, they were not able to penetrate armored cars, self-propelled guns, tanks or half tracks.
Alamo Mexicans could be used to supplement Civil War armies. Blue always went to the Union, Grey to the Confederates, and red to whichever side needed more men.
Space Men
Cannons could blow up anything on the Civil War battlefield. If you used Civil War cannons to supplement a modern war, however, they were not able to penetrate armored cars, self-propelled guns, tanks or half tracks.
Alamo Mexicans could be used to supplement Civil War armies. Blue always went to the Union, Grey to the Confederates, and red to whichever side needed more men.
Pistol-size ray guns can take out other spacemen, very small rockets and jeep-size vehicles.
Rifle-sized ray guns can take out big vehicles - anything except half tracks and tanks.
If you use tanks with spacemen (they didn't make many space combat vehicles) their cannons automatically become super ray guns.
You can use missiles, but regular guns and cannons do not work in space.
Knights, Vikings, and Romans
Rifle-sized ray guns can take out big vehicles - anything except half tracks and tanks.
If you use tanks with spacemen (they didn't make many space combat vehicles) their cannons automatically become super ray guns.
You can use missiles, but regular guns and cannons do not work in space.
Knights in plate armor are like walking tanks. It takes a lance on horseback, an axe, a mace or a direct hit with a catapult to down one with one shot. Sword and spear guys have to gang up on them and stick them through openings in the armor.
Knights in armor cannot swim or ford waterways.
If confronted by a gun, it takes 3 shots to knock down a fully-armored knight. A burst from a machine gun works, too. Fully-armored knights are vulnerable to all heavy weapons, including grenades. Flamethrowers wreak havoc on them.
Vikings are so cool that they can beat a knight as if he were an unarmored man.
Romans only have half armor. They can be used to supplement knights' armies.
Terrain
Knights in armor cannot swim or ford waterways.
If confronted by a gun, it takes 3 shots to knock down a fully-armored knight. A burst from a machine gun works, too. Fully-armored knights are vulnerable to all heavy weapons, including grenades. Flamethrowers wreak havoc on them.
Vikings are so cool that they can beat a knight as if he were an unarmored man.
Romans only have half armor. They can be used to supplement knights' armies.
Houses can stop bullets, but a hand grenade can blow a door open.
Tanks can knock down any house.
Stone walls stop everything
Wood only stops bullets
A wood fort can stop bullets and old fashioned cannons, but can be penetrated by grenades, light modern cannons and all larger weapons. Tanks and half tracks can drive through wood forts.
The easiest way to beat walls is to fire over them with mortars and grenades.
Some stone forts can be breached by tanks. Big cannons can put holes in stone forts, since a stone fort is not the same as a stone wall.
A soldier with a flamethrower or machine gun can fire through vision slits on pillboxes, if he is close enough.
Tanks plow through almost anything!
Tents do not stop bullets.
Battle Tactics for Plastic SoldiersTanks can knock down any house.
Stone walls stop everything
Wood only stops bullets
A wood fort can stop bullets and old fashioned cannons, but can be penetrated by grenades, light modern cannons and all larger weapons. Tanks and half tracks can drive through wood forts.
The easiest way to beat walls is to fire over them with mortars and grenades.
Some stone forts can be breached by tanks. Big cannons can put holes in stone forts, since a stone fort is not the same as a stone wall.
A soldier with a flamethrower or machine gun can fire through vision slits on pillboxes, if he is close enough.
Tanks plow through almost anything!
Tents do not stop bullets.
Troops can take cover in narrow places
Good cover is essential when under attack
Bricks make for a solid bunker
Even on flat surfaces in patios, army men can find solid cover.
Moving alongside a solid obstacle provides cover and concealment.
When attacking a brick bunker, lower unit provides covering fire. Advance team crawls forward as far as it can, then dashes forward to the next position with cover.
Having taken cover, one unit provides supporting fire while the other advances. Men crawl close, then dash to take cover being a brick while throwing grenades. Flamethrower is useful for attacking rifle ports.
Grenade throwers attack from one side while the rest of the squad comes around the back.
The M-15 Plastic Minesweeper not only detects mines, but defuses them.
Good cover is essential when under attack
Bricks make for a solid bunker
Even on flat surfaces in patios, army men can find solid cover.
Moving alongside a solid obstacle provides cover and concealment.
When attacking a brick bunker, lower unit provides covering fire. Advance team crawls forward as far as it can, then dashes forward to the next position with cover.
Having taken cover, one unit provides supporting fire while the other advances. Men crawl close, then dash to take cover being a brick while throwing grenades. Flamethrower is useful for attacking rifle ports.
Grenade throwers attack from one side while the rest of the squad comes around the back.
The M-15 Plastic Minesweeper not only detects mines, but defuses them.
Enemies of your troops
Ice cold - when cold, some brands' plastic got brittle. Whack them with a hammer and they shatter
Fire - when subjected to fire, Army men burn and melt.
Firecrackers - firecrackers will shatter a soldier in close proximity.
Teeth - dogs and baby brothers can chew a toy soldier into an elongated mess.
Guns - a 22 caliber bullet will usually pass through Army Men doing little more than making a big hole. Unless it hits an arm, leg or head, which it will sever.
So let's discuss and enjoy these awesome figures. If you really don't know how to get them, just go to a dollar store. They usually have fifty of each team in one bag, as well as accessories and vehicles. Fire - when subjected to fire, Army men burn and melt.
Firecrackers - firecrackers will shatter a soldier in close proximity.
Teeth - dogs and baby brothers can chew a toy soldier into an elongated mess.
Guns - a 22 caliber bullet will usually pass through Army Men doing little more than making a big hole. Unless it hits an arm, leg or head, which it will sever.
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Seriously epic battle, folks.
Or we threw stuff at them and everyone that got knocked over died.
I wasn't the one who came up with this stuff, but I thought that it was neat and felt like sharing.
Good times.
Good times.
There was also the unwritten "Last Stand" rule which would basically consist of the last remaining dude killing fucking everyone.
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...just curious.
We got rid of it when my kid sister was born. I don't exactly remember the reason but I knew I blamed her for a long time.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRxIikFok1Q
Mr.Sexy was going to get laid.
A guy is watching Ballet on TV, and the classical music is being heard all around the house.
An army man is watching from across the room, with a radio in hand.
A little green helicopter pulls up into the living room where the dude is watching TV.
The army man talks into the radio "Turn that (bleep) off."
And then the helicopter launches a missile and blows up the TV.
"Nutcracker"
My goal for next year is to fill my dorm with army men.
GW2: Hurindar
They made any elementary school diorama worthwhile.
We had an awesome setup, honestly. Would even use his model railroad set.
HOLY SHIT I had that Airplane, that thing was fuck awesome, I mean damn you brought back the best memorys, I had that and a base and some miniture starwars figures and they hated eachother. Then whenever I played with my cousin he would whip out the dinosaurs and holy shit jurassic park.
Edit: looking through that website I just found out the majority of my army were "low-grade clones" my parents couldn't afford real army men
GW2: Hurindar
The librarians had the cleaners throw them away that night, but on some of the higher shelves in the less-traveled sections of the library they lasted a long time. A line of greens along the top of a map case in government documents hung around for a year, and were still there when I moved away.
It was a pretty magical thing there for a while, for reasons I can't fully explain.
Hahaha, nice.
Whoever did that should have super glued them down.
We came up with an elaborate battle resolution system involving a pack of cards (representing efficacy and luck) and a die (representing tactics, with a bonus points system based on flanking, pincers, attacking from behind, above, etc.)
It was awesome, as is evidenced by the fact that I'd go over here every Friday.
Of course, that was also because his dad worked down the road at the gas station and had the most epic collection of porn mags stashed in his closet and Sam didn't mind sharing (this was in the days before the interweb).
The bigger the tanks the better the gun was also a good logic it seemed, and we had two tanks that were big as hell.
I still think our best idea were the NPC's that would hide in the sand and occasionally ambush your troops en route to a war.
The flamethrower guy was my favorite because he gave me an excuse to melt a couple guy's faces off.
And then as battle progressed and a squad would take the area of a "minefield" I would stomp on the stick at an angle, causing the ground to erupt. Dust would go everywhere, armymen would go flying, and there would be a huge crater.
Smaller explosions could be simulated by digging the end of a stick a few inches into the dirt and then using your hand to flip it upward.
And of course then dudes would pile into the craters to take cover.
One time I buried the end of a shovel, the handle end, and then positioned a bunch of army men on it. Then, when everything was in place, I jumped as high as I could and came down on the exposed shovel blade. Dirt clods rained down all over the place, in the grass, on the walkway, on the roof. A shower of dirt pattered on the windows like stormrain.
And then my mom yelled at me and I got my army men taken away for a week.
Poor bastards never stood a chance
I thought it was fun.
Oh how wrong I was.