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i have no clue how to read girls thread
zeppelin
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm tragically bad at reading girls. I wish girls would just flat out tell me they like me or want me to do something than coyly hinting at it. Perhaps the hesitation on my part comes from fear of failure. I don't know if they're being flirty or just friendly.
Anyway, I just started working at a retail shop, and it's literally 80% girls. All of them have been awesome and nice but I don't even attempt to flirt with a girl at work in case they slap me or have a boyfriend or I get fired or whathaveyou. Although we all have petty conversations, one girl, Lauren, has been talking to me a lot. She's at a weird place right now. She got kicked out of her house because she decided she didn't go for religion like her parents, so when she turned 18 she got kicked out. The only place she had left was her ex boyfriends. She apparently does not make a lot of friends****. Her exboyfriend, while they have been living together as exes, has threatened to commit suicide because he can't take not being with her... a lot of bold claims. He's an alcoholic too.
Now I'm drawn to her. Like every atom in my body just screams about her. I don't know if its the damsel in distress. I don't know what it is. I go to sleep thinking about her, and when I wake up I'm thinking about her. All the songs I listen to are about her. I guess I'm 'crushing'
Tonight she needed a ride home and she asked me. Of course I said yes. As the night progressed she told me that her ex couldn't pick her up because he's drunk and smoking and playing poker with his friends, and she has to sit and watch them. She has asthma and smoking gets her sick. Immediately I want to ask her if she wants to do something like go get some food or just something. keep her occupied for as long as possible. I want to take her away so she never has to go back. Immediately my inhibitions take hold and I don't, but its on my mind. It's not a courage thing I just literally don't think I should. Would it be too bold? As for the asteriks earlier, maybe she just wants a friend. I have no clue.
The ride over I was debating it. But I couldn't risk it. If she says no, well I'll know, but work will be awkward.... I don't want things to be awkward at work. I drop her off. I'm depressed. Puzzled.
The way she kept talking about how she didn't want to go with her ex-boyfriend tonight. How she keeps talking to me... I feel like it could be anything.
This was long. I apologize. The tl;dr, do you think she wanted me to ask her out, not necessarily a date, just to go out and do something? Or did I do the right thing by just dropping her off? Sorry if any of this is unclear... my mind is racing and I feel like I've made a mistake... maybe that means I did...
Anyway, I just started working at a retail shop, and it's literally 80% girls. All of them have been awesome and nice but I don't even attempt to flirt with a girl at work in case they slap me or have a boyfriend or I get fired or whathaveyou. Although we all have petty conversations, one girl, Lauren, has been talking to me a lot. She's at a weird place right now. She got kicked out of her house because she decided she didn't go for religion like her parents, so when she turned 18 she got kicked out. The only place she had left was her ex boyfriends. She apparently does not make a lot of friends****. Her exboyfriend, while they have been living together as exes, has threatened to commit suicide because he can't take not being with her... a lot of bold claims. He's an alcoholic too.
Now I'm drawn to her. Like every atom in my body just screams about her. I don't know if its the damsel in distress. I don't know what it is. I go to sleep thinking about her, and when I wake up I'm thinking about her. All the songs I listen to are about her. I guess I'm 'crushing'
Tonight she needed a ride home and she asked me. Of course I said yes. As the night progressed she told me that her ex couldn't pick her up because he's drunk and smoking and playing poker with his friends, and she has to sit and watch them. She has asthma and smoking gets her sick. Immediately I want to ask her if she wants to do something like go get some food or just something. keep her occupied for as long as possible. I want to take her away so she never has to go back. Immediately my inhibitions take hold and I don't, but its on my mind. It's not a courage thing I just literally don't think I should. Would it be too bold? As for the asteriks earlier, maybe she just wants a friend. I have no clue.
The ride over I was debating it. But I couldn't risk it. If she says no, well I'll know, but work will be awkward.... I don't want things to be awkward at work. I drop her off. I'm depressed. Puzzled.
The way she kept talking about how she didn't want to go with her ex-boyfriend tonight. How she keeps talking to me... I feel like it could be anything.
This was long. I apologize. The tl;dr, do you think she wanted me to ask her out, not necessarily a date, just to go out and do something? Or did I do the right thing by just dropping her off? Sorry if any of this is unclear... my mind is racing and I feel like I've made a mistake... maybe that means I did...
zeppelin on
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You're looking too much into it. Going out for food doesn't have to be a "date". From what you said though, it seemed like she wanted you to ask her.
I dont think you would have been out of line if you had suggested hanging out rather than her going straight home. She clearly didnt really want to be there. Whether that was a hint for you to offer some company or not remains uncertain, but it definately would have been a reasonable suggestion i'd say. Theres no reason work would be awkward, its not like you're saying "So, since you dont really wanna go home, do you wanna go back to my place for a fiveway with two midgets and a donkey???" You'd just be asking if she wanted to grab a bite to eat, or come over for a few hours and watch some TV, whatever.
Dating people you work with does carry some inherent risks. It doesnt mean its impossible. But lets not jump the gun here: theres certainly nothing wrong with being friends with coworkers, and you could definately go down that path.
I would not read too much into her possible attraction to you, however. It could be that she finds you an easy listener so she is able to share more with you because, as you said, she doesn't have a lot of friends.
Because of the job thing and the ex-boyfriend thing, I wouldn't push it. Be her friend and focus on that for the time being. If an opportunity eventually presents itself and you are confident about it, go ahead and ask. But that night, if you were to say, "hey if you wanna go grab a bite to eat just so you don't have to be there for a while, I'm down with that," that is not overstepping any boundaries at all and would have been perfectly appropriate.
Phrasing would be important, too (notice how in that line, you would've given a suggestion without directly asking while also mentioning how it benefits HER to say yes, so it's not you asking her out at all).
That said, I would still stay away at least until that ex-boyfriend situation stops being so delicate, and just be her friend in the meantime.
This is the only thing that I would be concerned with as well.
I agree with folks, and that you wouldn't have been out of line asking to get some food with her or something. It sounds like she really needed someone to talk to. Whether she sees you as something more than I friend, obviously we wouldn't be able to tell you, and maybe you will know in time. However, be careful, it sounds like this girl comes with a lot of baggage, not to mention living with her alcoholic ex-boyfriend. If she can find a way to get herself out of her situation then maybe it would be better for you to pursue.
Especially if you are working in retail, I don't see anything wrong with workplace relationships. Excuse me if I am wrong, but I assume that you are also around 18, and probably working at something like a Hollister or A&F, where there is a high turnover rate of employees anyways. If you were working for a corporate paper company or something I may suggest otherwise. The workplace, in your situation, is a good way to meet people, and drama between co-workers is probably expected anyway.
Anyways, before I get too long here . . . Be there for her, she is in a tough situation, and if you like her I wouldn't push too hard, because she probably isn't in the most stable emotional spot, and it could be dangerous for her and you with her ex-bf. Just take it slow, and if something happens, it happens . . . be a gentleman and buy her a burger!