I don't actually have time to explain the situation right now, unfortuately, but I'm mainly looking for the answer to one question at this point, and may have time to explain more/ask more questions later.
My coworker got into an argument with his long time girlfriend last night, and she ended up flipping out and attacking him. In the course of the fight, he didn't really fight back, and she did bite him on the arm. Hard. Her-incisors-peirced-the-skin-hard.
He got out of there, and a couple hours later called the cops from a friends house to get advice. The cop who came out told him that if he showed them the wound they would have no choice but to arrest her, BUT she could also, even without any sort of wound on her, accuse him of the abuse and then he would get arrested as well.
So my question is, is this cop full of crap, or is he telling the truth?
This is in Iowa, by the way.
Posts
Also, your local law enforcement is spot on. That's Iowa law. They tend to (somewhat understandably) give women the benefit of the doubt in domestic cases.
This is why he needs to get his injuries documented ASAP, file his report and mention he wants a restraining order. He has to make it very clear that this isn't him blowing smoke and that this is serious (and so is he).
He should also send her the bill for the doctor/hospital visit. In addition, he should never go near her alone again.
Limed for the mother-f'ing truth. #1 rule of self-preservation, don't put yourself in potentially terrible situations.
Obviously your coworker shouldn't make stuff up when filing a restraining order, but there is definite value to having some paperwork on file when dealing with a crazy asshole.
There are must arrest laws on the books in some states, but there shouldn't be any such thing as a must-charge law.
I host a podcast about movies.
seriously though. its not the time to be chivalrous, he should get his version out and reported, since she could throw it back at him.
don't know if he can file a report but not press charges
obviously if he is hoping to reconcile, getting her arrested is probably not the best way about it, but if not, fuck that, press charges, you shouldn't go around biting people
2. See doctor, keep documentation from doctor
3. File restraining order
4. Press assault charges
However, if she has no physical injuries while your friend does then I'd imagine it's highly unlikely that your friend would actually be prosecuted, but really your friend needs to get advice from a lawyer. From what you've said, I see no reason for the friend not to have her arrested though, even if it does involve him also being arrested. If he's innocent, he's innocent.
A restraining order is probably an excellent way to go, IME, that kind of crazy doesn't get better, it gets worse. You're probably just seeing the tip of the bitchberg here, so it would be wise to have a backup strategy of some kind.
I'm gonna have to echo this sentiment. Take the initiative on it, it makes a big difference. This is in special regard to the third and fourth options. Get a lawyer ASAP.
If he bit her, would you be suggesting she have him arrested?
Unless, of course, this has happened before.
It depends on what the fight was about and whether or not there's a history of violence. It's a bit silly to demand someone's head before we even have all the facts.
I had a friend who punched me in the stomach once. Woulda seemed like a jackass move until you found out why he punched me.
It's domestic violence and assault, both are pretty serious.
Not to mention, there's no way in hell she'll pay for shit if she doesn't have to.
'Hi, I'm not calling the cops or anything but will you pay these bills even though I can't make you?'
Definitely document very carefully, and definitely discuss options with police. People just can't go around biting people and drawing blood, even if they're really really pissed.
I don't wanna steer the thread into a discussion on what does and doesn't constitute assault, but I think we need more info before we can jump to conclusions. Basically, all we have is: GIRL BITE GUY. GUY CALL POLICE. POLICE SAY BOTH GO JAIL. GUY NO KNOW WHAT DO. Beyond that, we know nothing.
The OP wrote "long-time girlfriend." If he mistyped, and she was his ex, then I retract my previous posts.
It wasn't jsut some bite, she broke the skin. That's not easy to do unless you're trying to hurt someone. In which case you are incredibly messed up and should be arrested and prosecuted.