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PHALLANOIA!²

EvilBadmanEvilBadman DO NOT TRUST THIS MANRegistered User regular
edited November 2008 in Critical Failures
(USER WAS TERMINATED FOR THIS POST)
Alpha Complex Messaging Log
45.ds466.09nhg
From: "SQSH"
To: "EBM"
Re: Project Carousel

FC running code 6 op. Participation not advised.
PHALLANOIA!²
An EvilBadman/Squashua Joint

FyreWulff wrote: »
I should note that Badman is fucking awesome
XBL- Evil Badman; Steam- EvilBadman; Twitter - EvilBadman
EvilBadman on
«13456752

Posts

  • The ComputerThe Computer Registered User
    edited November 2008
    For immediate release, Red Clearance:
    TROUBLESHOOTER ORIENTATION GUIDE

    I. Forward

    Thank you, citizen for turning in a dangerous traitor and helping keep Alpha Complex devoid of any treasonous parties! In return, you have been promoted to the ranks of illustrious Troubleshooter! Troubleshooters one of Friend Computer's main lines of defense against the evil commie hordes and their destructive motivation to destroy the beloved Alpha Complex. Commies are not the sole enemy of Friend Computer and Alpha Complex, however. You must always be vigilante of Mutants and Secret Societies! Remember, trust no one! Keep your laser handy!

    II. The Commie Mutant Traitor (CMT) Threat , and You!

    REMEMBER! If someone is a communist, then they are definitely a traitor and probably a mutant as well. (FIG A.)

    a. Commies
    Commies wish to spread the wealth in Alpha Complex. There is no wealth to spread in Alpha Complex, as all citizens are equal. Except those of a higher security clearance.

    b. Mutants
    Unregistered mutants provide a threat to Friend Computer by not allowing Friend Computer fully access to their abilities. The only way to avoid termination for being a mutant (apart from trying to hide the fact) is to register your treasonous defect and become an official registered mutant. Registered Mutants easily identified by their yellow striped uniforms. Remember, Registered Mutants can use their powers freely and may still be dangerous.

    c. Secret Societies
    Membership in a secret society is grounds for termination. These secretive groups participate in many non sanctioned events detrimental to both Friend Computer and Alpha Complex.

    III. Clones: The Computer's Back Up Plan!

    Clones are a understated commodity in Alpha Complex, particularly high fatality rate during missions. Not every troubleshooter has, or can appreciate clones. Every Clone is a new entity, with different traits and predilections, this is an unfortunate side effect of the cloning process.

    IV. Where Do I Fit In?
    As a Troubleshooter, your responsibility is to assist Friend Computer in the ongoing fight with the CMT Threat through the apprehension of any treasonous persons you meet. Additionally, Troubleshooters are often sent on exciting missions to further the protection and maintenance of Alpha Complex.

    a. Service Groups
    A service group is your day to day job, when not actively Troubleshooting for Friend Computer. Please see attached form Troubleshooter Work History Form WH-11023 for Service Group Descriptions.
    GOOD LUCK TROUBLESHOOTER!


    Appendix A

    Troubleshooter Work History Form WH-11023
    PLEASE NOTATE YOUR PRIOR WORK HISTORY FROM THE FOLLOWING:
    Failure to comply is Treason!

    1. Technical Services (Tech)

    Tech Services are the people who fix things around Alpha Complex. They tend to have good knowledge of things electrical and mechanical, but they are unlikely to know how to reprogram The Computer (before you go getting ideas). The roles of Tech Services and Power Services tend to overlap to some extent.

    2. Research & Design (R&D)

    While Tech Services fix things around Alpha Complex, it is R&D who actually invent the things in the first place. People from R&D tend to be reasonably good at fixing some things (but not as skilled as a Tech Services engineer), but tend to be better at doing research and coming up with novel ideas than their Tech Services counterparts.

    3. Central Processing Unit (CPU)

    CPU look after the day-to-day running of The Computer, and tends to be rather bureaucratic. Only the highest members of CPU are likely to have any computer programming skills though. Having said that, CPU engineers tend to be skilled at using computer terminals to search for information quickly.

    4. Power Services (Power)

    Power Services look after the amenities (water, electricity, sewage, ventilation, etc) and associated cabling and piping within Alpha Complex. Sometimes a Power Services engineer will know a route out of somewhere (or into somewhere) involving cabling ducts or ventilation shafts.


    5. Production, Logistics and Commissary (PLC)

    PLC are responsible for agricultural and industrial production, along with the allocation of resources. Troubleshooting teams normally visit PLC to be allocated equipment before going out on a mission.

    6.Housing Preservation and Development & Mind Control (HPD&MC)

    HPD&MC look after the running of Alpha Complex when it comes to paperwork. The HPD part involves making sure everybody has somewhere to live (and that they've filled out the right forms to get it). The MC part ensures their minds are pure by providing quality vidscreen entertainment. Think what it would be like if the bureaucrats ran all the TV stations. That's what HPD&MC is like.

    The Computer on
  • EvilBadmanEvilBadman DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Rules (Check Often, adding things as I remember them)
    Standard Phalla Rules apply.
    Inactivity is strictly enforced. The Computer will terminate any troubleshooter it deems inactive. This includes posting "1st Post to not die to Inactivity posts."
    All GM PM contact will be done through the GM account THE COMPUTER.
    Communications with the deceased is prohibited, even if you yourself are dead as well.

    Narrations and Results
    Day 0 Narration by EvilBadman
    Day 1 Results From The Computer
    Day 1 Log From EvilBadman
    Day 2 Results From The Computer
    Day 2 Logs from "Sqsh" to "EBM"
    Day 3 Notice From The Computer Concerning Clones
    Day 3 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 4 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 5 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 6 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 7 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 8 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 9 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 10 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 11 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 12 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 13 Result Log from The Computer
    Day 14 Result Log from the Computer
    Day 15 Result Log from The Computer

    Player List

    The Living:
    Goose!-2 [R]
    Hellbunny [R]
    Ianator-2
    KrataLightblade-2
    moleface-2
    MrBlarney-2
    TheLawinator-3
    Toxic Toys-3

    Location Unknown:
    Orange Soda-2 has somehow escaped the Alpha Complex!

    The Dead:
    The color of a player's name is the cause of death.
    Communist Framing
    Romantic Assassination/Cultist Explosion (AFTER DAY 13)
    Internal Security
    Mutant Ability
    Popular Vote
    Mod Kill
    [R] indicates a Registered Mutant

    Abysmal Lynx [R] is Pretty in Pinko.
    Abysmal Lynx-2 [R] filled out his Little Red Book nicely.
    Altair cannot escape Double Jeopardy.
    Arasaki stumbles upon his important communist Intervention.
    B:L knows all the words to the Soviet National Anthem.
    B:L-2 converted and sacrificed by the Cultist.
    cj iwakura, struck by lightning, indoors twice.
    Crimsoncoyote lost a vital coin flip.
    Dac Vin has been terminated at his own request.
    Darian [R] blown up by Gumpy-2.
    dawningpheonix found wielding a hammer and sickle.
    Delroland captured by the authorities for wanting to milk a Moscow.
    DevoutlyApathetic found missing many vital organs.
    Doxa, head explosion.
    Drez caught wearing last year's "in" hat: an Ushanka.
    Durax [R] hears "SIC SEMPER TYRANNOSAURUS IN F-14!" and not much else after that.
    Durax-2 wrote all his R's backwards.
    Egos [R] did not vote, died.
    El Skid discovered to be in possession of contraband, "Lying, Congressional Style."
    elightenedbum crawled back into the inactivity cardboard box from whence he sprang.
    Exarch [R] is not having fun anymore!
    FreeAgent is ending all his nounskis in "-ski."
    FreeAgent-2 does his best MrBlarney impression and fails spectacularly.
    FrostMist suffered a fatal headache.
    Frostmist-2 isn't anyone's friend anymore.
    FrostMist-3 got trickled down on.
    FunkyWaltDogg, head exploded as well.
    Goose! feels the noose tighten around his neck, and opts to jam a pen in it instead.
    Gorilla Salad stuck holding with the Communist Bill.
    Gumpy hits the Daily Double.
    Gumpy-2 converted and used as a bomb by the Cultist.
    Ianator hauled off.
    Infidel did not vote, and died.
    Jpants suddenly finds himself disintegrated.
    Kime's corpse recovered with more holes in it than a thing with holes in it.
    KrataLightblade [R] tied for vote on Day 13.
    Kuhlmeye got poor Marx.
    Kuhlmeye-2 did not vote, died.
    Lady Eri determined to be a Mutant Traitor by the other Troubleshooters.
    Lady Eri-2 forcibly removed for falsely accusing fellow Troubleshooter, Durax.
    Maximus [R] found with a makeshift shiv in his throat.
    Micro [R] dismissed to attend seminar entitled, "THE COMPUTERS TRAITOR KILLATHON"
    moleface [R] killed by a B:L-2 bomb.
    Mr. Defecation is disintegrated by a electrical blast.
    MrBlarney pissed in God's eye and he blinked.
    MundaneSoul, sentenced to termination after being found guilty of treason by his peers.
    Nion's cranium suddenly bursts open.
    Oats did not vote, died.
    Obbi [R] bolts into the security group, arms flailing wildly.
    Orange Soda went to the well too many times and fell in.
    Osvik fatally reprimanded for failure to participate.
    Plutonium is blaming it all on Florida.
    precisionk [R] maimed to death by a roving band of black cats.
    precisionk-2 hits his knees and plops onto the ground, sans head.
    Rainfall assassinated.
    Rend did not vote, died.
    Romantic Undead shredded to pieces after falling through a broken mirror.
    Sheep Have Wool [R] did not vote, died.
    sportzboytjw [R] did not vote, died.
    TehSloth did not vote, died.
    The_Reflection [R] was turned over to authorities by vigilant Troubleshooters.
    TheLawinator involuntarily showers his brain matter all over the clean linoleum.
    TheLawinator-2 did not vote, died.
    Toxic Toys saw his own impeding death.
    Toxic Toys-2 tied for vote on day 13.
    UnearthlyStew drew the short straw, sketching not available to Red clearance.
    Vthornheart [R] wins an impromptu Traitor beauty contest!
    warban reduced to a pile of ash.
    weatheredclown strangled to death and no one bothered to watch.
    Wildcat also taken in for good measure.
    Witch Doctor, DBM was never really here and thoughts otherwise are incorrect.

    EvilBadman on
    FyreWulff wrote: »
    I should note that Badman is fucking awesome
    XBL- Evil Badman; Steam- EvilBadman; Twitter - EvilBadman
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !sign up R&D

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • crimsoncoyotecrimsoncoyote Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    All hail friend computer! (R&D)

    crimsoncoyote on
  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !Signing up for R&D would make me soooo happy, Friend Computer!

    Wildcat on
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    damn copycats

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • FreeAgentFreeAgent Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !I sign up to continue my loyal service to Friend Computer, in the capacity that I have extensive background and experience in - Housing Preservation and Development & Mind Control.

    FreeAgent on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !Sign up (HPD&MC)

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • MrBlarneyMrBlarney Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Troubleshooter Bla-R-NEY of the CPU division !signs up!

    MrBlarney on
    chirisigtext.png
  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !sign up, CPU division. BUT-R-Skid reporting.

    El Skid on
    mrpaku wrote: »
    my name is precisionk and i'm ten tanks

    wrath God fear traitor evil
  • IanatorIanator Delightfully mediocre! Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !sign up as HPD&MC

    Ianator on
    steam_sig.png
    Twitch | Steam
    Blizzard: Ianator#1479 / 3DS: Ianator - 1779 2336 5317 / FFXIV: Iana Ateliere (NA Sarg)
    Backlog Challenge List
  • dawningphoenixdawningphoenix Registered User
    edited November 2008
    Friend Computer! I shall !sign up for Tech Services

    dawningphoenix on
  • FreeAgentFreeAgent Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Ah ha, Jack-R-IPR is back in action. Now where in the world is my multicorder...

    Which isn't to say that I've misplaced Friend Computer's property, but rather a colloquial turn of phrase to say that I'm filming everything.

    I wonder where Savenge-R-HNT is...

    FreeAgent on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Kristmas KthulhuKristmas Kthulhu Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I'm afraid...

    Kristmas Kthulhu on
  • Toxic ToysToxic Toys Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I sign up, CPU my Friend Computer

    Toxic Toys on
    3DS code: 2938-6074-2306, Nintendo Network ID: ToxicToys, PSN: zutto
  • VThornheartVThornheart Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !sign up as PLC

    (It's usually a bad idea for me to be in two Phallas at once... but this one seems so interesting that I can't help but want to join it. =) )

    VThornheart on
    3DS Friend Code: 1950-8938-9095
  • Kristmas KthulhuKristmas Kthulhu Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Sign up...

    R&D?

    Kristmas Kthulhu on
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !Zap PrecisionK

    I mean... Sign up Power!

    Plutonium on
  • MaximusMaximus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Sign up (Tech)

    Maximus on
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Sign up Power!

    kime on
    PA HotS Group
    Battle.net ID: kime#1822
    3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
    Steam profile
  • ArasakiArasaki Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !Sign Up Tech

    Arasaki on
  • OatsOats Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Sign.Up == 1
    Oats.Department == "Power"

    Oats on
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    == is typically a comparative operation, not really an assignment.

    kime on
    PA HotS Group
    Battle.net ID: kime#1822
    3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
    Steam profile
  • JPantsJPants Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !Sign up R&D

    JPants on
  • FreeAgentFreeAgent Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    kime wrote: »
    == is typically a comparative operation, not really an assignment.

    This is a factual statement, but one has to wonder what type of clearance is needed for that sort of knowledge.

    FreeAgent on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • EvilBadmanEvilBadman DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Updated Through Kime.

    Please note the changes to the post 3, and read through the manual if you have not already.

    EvilBadman on
    FyreWulff wrote: »
    I should note that Badman is fucking awesome
    XBL- Evil Badman; Steam- EvilBadman; Twitter - EvilBadman
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !signup

    Hehehe

    Friend Computer! I have found a Communist!

    Zap Orange Soda

    Plutonium on
  • Orange SodaOrange Soda Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    O shi- you got it before I deleted it.... i didn't read the OP yet

    Orange Soda on
  • The ComputerThe Computer Registered User
    edited November 2008
    Plutonium wrote: »
    !signup

    Hehehe

    Outstanding catch, Citizen!

    The Computer on
  • VThornheartVThornheart Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Plutonium wrote: »
    !signup

    Hehehe

    Outstanding catch, Citizen!

    Plutonium, you teacher's pet! ;) =)

    VThornheart on
    3DS Friend Code: 1950-8938-9095
  • Sheep Have WoolSheep Have Wool Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !signup for Production, Logistics and Commissary

    Sheep Have Wool on
  • FreeAgentFreeAgent Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Plutonium wrote: »
    !signup

    Hehehe

    Outstanding catch, Citizen!

    Plutonium, you teacher's pet! ;) =)

    Plutonium is only doing his duty to the all knowing, all loving Friend Computer. To do otherwise is treason.

    FreeAgent on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MaximusMaximus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Friend Computer please notice edit of background.

    Maximus on
  • MicroMicro Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !Sign up - CPU

    Thanks for this

    Micro on
    signature.png
  • Orange SodaOrange Soda Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !signup - Power if I didn't already fuck it up.

    Orange Soda on
  • ExarchExarch Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !Sign up - HPD&MC

    Exarch on
    No gods or kings, only man.
    LoL: BunyipAristocrat
  • EvilBadmanEvilBadman DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Updated through post 37.

    EvilBadman on
    FyreWulff wrote: »
    I should note that Badman is fucking awesome
    XBL- Evil Badman; Steam- EvilBadman; Twitter - EvilBadman
  • DoxaDoxa Registered User
    edited November 2008
    !signup R&D

    Doxa on
  • duraxdurax Who watches the watchdogs? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !Signup (PLC)

    durax on
  • M.D.M.D. and then what happens? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    !sign up PLC por favor

    M.D. on
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