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Canadian Criminals are FAT.

GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer AAAAAUGH!!Registered User regular
edited November 2008 in Social Entropy++
http://news.aol.com/article/convict-released-early-due-to-obesity/247498
TORONTO (Nov. 13) - An obese inmate who goes by the nickname "Big Mike" has been granted early parole because a Canadian prison could not accommodate his 430-pound frame.

Michel Lapointe, 37, was released from prison earlier this week after serving 25 months in Montreal's Bordeaux Jail for conspiracy, drug trafficking and gangsterism.

The Quebec Parole Board said this week that it based its decision for an early release on Lapointe's health, along with factors such as good behavior and the support of his wife and mother.

The two-officer board stressed that Lapointe was not violent and did not pose a risk to society.
Lapointe will have to follow a series of conditions, such as finding a job and staying away from bars. He will also have to meet with a parole officer on a regular basis over the next three months.

A former chef, Lapointe was arrested on drug-related charges in 2006. In February 2008, he pleaded guilty to all of his charges. At the time of his arrest, Lapointe weighed 375 pounds.
Defense lawyer Clemente Monterosso said the prison's poor diet caused his client to gain more than 50 pounds.

Following the court's decision to release Lapointe, his mother, Claire Lapointe, said her son has always had weight problems. She said the problems were exacerbated while he was in jail.

What the fuck, Canada? Doesn't universal health care cover problems like this?

Buuut... then again...
Convicts' weight has also been an issue in the United States. In one case, a 500-pound New York man accused of selling knockoff guitars was arraigned in a pickup truck in a parking lot because he could not fit into the courthouse.

Fuckin' American fatties.

Seriously, this is stupid, but at the same time, it's not exactly a bad thing. Criminals will now hopefully get the idea to eat themselves stupid to get out of prison and won't be able to run from the cops the next time they fuck up.

GoldenSeducer on
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Posts

  • ZoolanderZoolander Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Isn't that like the average weight for an American?

    Zoolander on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fuckin' awesome as Hell.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    if i'm ever arrested i want it to be for gangsterism

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Gangsterism.

    Graves on
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    Gangsterism is an actual word?

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    Damn, triple post on gangsterism!

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    good news for the Kingpin!

    Centipede Damascus on
  • GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer AAAAAUGH!! Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Well, the Kingpin is made of muscle, not fat. He's a muscle...ie?

    GoldenSeducer on
  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    gansgterism

    OmegaTofuNinja on
    Facebook Wii: 7912 0299 8667 6601 I tweet sometimes Poetry?!
  • GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer AAAAAUGH!! Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    gansgterism

    Gangsterism++.

    GoldenSeducer on
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    I thought I had committed gangsterism once. Turned out I was just getting raped by a dude.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    i think i've seen a movie called gangsterism

    bsjezz on
    sC4Q4nq.jpg
  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    As a rule I try to commit a gangsterism at least three times a day so I can stay at the top of my gangster game.

    OmegaTofuNinja on
    Facebook Wii: 7912 0299 8667 6601 I tweet sometimes Poetry?!
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    They should ratify the constitution to mention gangsterism.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    extend the bill of rights:

    Gangsterism amendment

    right to hustlin'
    right to ridin' dirty
    right to leanin'
    right to pimpin'

    Kovak on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    the lesson here is

    if you get sent to jail

    eat everything

    Faricazy on
  • GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer AAAAAUGH!! Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    What I want to know is what gang this guy was involved in that he was gangstering for/with.

    GoldenSeducer on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    You just need to be the hard ass fucker who eats off of other dude's trays, then fucks them up if they look at you wrong.

    Graves on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    straight up eat other dudes whole

    Faricazy on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    i wish i could major in gangsterism

    potatoe on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    saw this on countdown last night

    they should just stick him in a pig pen and put a little piggie nose on him

    oinku~

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I once had a dream where I was in a bus going to prison for being a revolutionary.

    One of the other inbound inmates complimented me for my balls in "storming the Senate" so I think I did something serious.

    In any event this wizened biker dude started giving me advice on how to survive prison. He proceeded to tell me that I was too pretty for prison, and my best bet was to attach myself to a tougher guy and willingly be his bitch for protection.

    And then he told me to tell my family to bake silicon-based lube into cupcakes.

    And then I woke up in a cold sweat.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • Muse Among MenMuse Among Men Suburban Bunny Princess? Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    My neighbors got arrested for gangsterism once.

    They were obviously doing it wrong.

    Muse Among Men on
  • GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer AAAAAUGH!! Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    potatoe wrote: »
    i wish i could major in gangsterism

    "I see you have a Masters Degree in... Gangsterism?"

    "Yes."

    "What does that involve?"

    "Cappin' people, hustlin', pimpin'... you know, ganstering."

    "I'm not sure you're entirely what we're looking fo--"

    "I'mma cap yo ass! Gimme my money, bitch!"

    ... yeah, I think I'm doing this wrong.

    GoldenSeducer on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    102bigmike.jpg

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    The final exam for gangsterism is being able to wear your fedora at a crazy angle without it falling off while you run an obstacle course.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer AAAAAUGH!! Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    The final exam for gangsterism is being able to wear your fedora at a crazy angle without it falling off while you run an obstacle course.

    And wearing all manner of "bling" and carrying a TV on your shoulder?

    GoldenSeducer on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I thought the final exam was smoking mad trees then successfully performing a drive by.

    And your kicks must stay fresh the whole time.

    Graves on
  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    I thought the final exam was smoking mad trees then successfully performing a drive by.

    And your kicks must stay fresh the whole time.
    And your threads fly

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    The final exam for Gangsterism is being a black man in a white suit with a red tie and a chrome .45 tucked into your belt.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    I picture gangsterism as being less bloods and crips and more italian mafia.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer AAAAAUGH!! Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Maybe there is no final exam. Maybe the whole course is just one giant exam. Would you get hustled out if you screw up at all?

    GoldenSeducer on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I picture gangsterism as being less bloods and crips and more italian mafia.

    It would be more Cosa Nostra in like Ivy League schools.

    Community colleges get the local driving school cars for drive bys.

    Graves on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    it ain't a gangsterism graduation without a good 'ol drive by

    Faricazy on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    haha graves :3

    Faricazy on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
  • VorusVorus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    school of hard knocks yo

    Vorus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    Gangsterism 101 Class Materials List:

    1. Chrome Plated Glock
    2. Pressed Italian Silk Suit
    3. Driving Gloves (Italian Leather Mandatory. Trim can be ostrich or chinchilla)
    4. Fedora
    5. Composition Book

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Faricazy wrote: »
    haha graves :3

    There's a reason my Live tag is Prof G.

    Graves on
  • Muse Among MenMuse Among Men Suburban Bunny Princess? Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Gangsterism 101 Class Materials List:

    1. Chrome Plated Glock
    2. Pressed Italian Silk Suit
    3. Driving Gloves (Italian Leather Mandatory. Trim can be ostrich or chinchilla)
    4. Fedora
    5. Composition Book

    A suitcase for which to house your materials in.

    We do no expect to find any of the five listed items in there.

    Muse Among Men on
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