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Canadian Criminals are FAT.
GoldenSeducer
AAAAAUGH!!Registered User regular
AAAAAUGH!!Registered User regular
http://news.aol.com/article/convict-released-early-due-to-obesity/247498
What the fuck, Canada? Doesn't universal health care cover problems like this?
Buuut... then again...
Fuckin' American fatties.
Seriously, this is stupid, but at the same time, it's not exactly a bad thing. Criminals will now hopefully get the idea to eat themselves stupid to get out of prison and won't be able to run from the cops the next time they fuck up.
TORONTO (Nov. 13) - An obese inmate who goes by the nickname "Big Mike" has been granted early parole because a Canadian prison could not accommodate his 430-pound frame.
Michel Lapointe, 37, was released from prison earlier this week after serving 25 months in Montreal's Bordeaux Jail for conspiracy, drug trafficking and gangsterism.
The Quebec Parole Board said this week that it based its decision for an early release on Lapointe's health, along with factors such as good behavior and the support of his wife and mother.
The two-officer board stressed that Lapointe was not violent and did not pose a risk to society.
Lapointe will have to follow a series of conditions, such as finding a job and staying away from bars. He will also have to meet with a parole officer on a regular basis over the next three months.
A former chef, Lapointe was arrested on drug-related charges in 2006. In February 2008, he pleaded guilty to all of his charges. At the time of his arrest, Lapointe weighed 375 pounds.
Defense lawyer Clemente Monterosso said the prison's poor diet caused his client to gain more than 50 pounds.
Following the court's decision to release Lapointe, his mother, Claire Lapointe, said her son has always had weight problems. She said the problems were exacerbated while he was in jail.
What the fuck, Canada? Doesn't universal health care cover problems like this?
Buuut... then again...
Convicts' weight has also been an issue in the United States. In one case, a 500-pound New York man accused of selling knockoff guitars was arraigned in a pickup truck in a parking lot because he could not fit into the courthouse.
Fuckin' American fatties.
Seriously, this is stupid, but at the same time, it's not exactly a bad thing. Criminals will now hopefully get the idea to eat themselves stupid to get out of prison and won't be able to run from the cops the next time they fuck up.
GoldenSeducer on
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Gangsterism++.
Gangsterism amendment
right to hustlin'
right to ridin' dirty
right to leanin'
right to pimpin'
if you get sent to jail
eat everything
they should just stick him in a pig pen and put a little piggie nose on him
oinku~
One of the other inbound inmates complimented me for my balls in "storming the Senate" so I think I did something serious.
In any event this wizened biker dude started giving me advice on how to survive prison. He proceeded to tell me that I was too pretty for prison, and my best bet was to attach myself to a tougher guy and willingly be his bitch for protection.
And then he told me to tell my family to bake silicon-based lube into cupcakes.
And then I woke up in a cold sweat.
They were obviously doing it wrong.
"I see you have a Masters Degree in... Gangsterism?"
"Yes."
"What does that involve?"
"Cappin' people, hustlin', pimpin'... you know, ganstering."
"I'm not sure you're entirely what we're looking fo--"
"I'mma cap yo ass! Gimme my money, bitch!"
... yeah, I think I'm doing this wrong.
And wearing all manner of "bling" and carrying a TV on your shoulder?
And your kicks must stay fresh the whole time.
It would be more Cosa Nostra in like Ivy League schools.
Community colleges get the local driving school cars for drive bys.
1. Chrome Plated Glock
2. Pressed Italian Silk Suit
3. Driving Gloves (Italian Leather Mandatory. Trim can be ostrich or chinchilla)
4. Fedora
5. Composition Book
There's a reason my Live tag is Prof G.
A suitcase for which to house your materials in.
We do no expect to find any of the five listed items in there.