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Because there's been a drought of [girl thread]s
potpourri
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Howdy. Kinda long story here - aren't they all?
Background:
So I just got back from a 8 or 9 hour trip to see a band play. She drove us, it was her, I and a friend-couple. It was fun.
Basically, she's been treating me in a really comfortable, easy-going way. I can't tell if it's flirting or "hey we're good enough friends that I can joke around" - she tossed me a wink at one point as a joke and we can banter like none other. There's been no mention of dating or romance or anything.
So for a little while there I had some serious "this is the girl for me" shit going on with her, but lately the wishy-washyness has turned me off a bit. I still like her, and would love to date her, but I've cooled off a bit. What I want to know is, does it seem like there's anything there, or should I really just walk away? Should I entirely forget romantic anything, or keep that as a possibility? Should I gradually move our relationship to a more intimate level or just totally chill out entirely? I need guidance. I've been totally honest with her, and normally that works one way or another but here I'm in a limbo that I really hate.
Background:
I'm a freshman in college. A sophomore girl added me on facebook a few months before I came here - a lot of people (mostly freshmen) were, kinda getting to know each other before showing up. We never talked or anything until September, when she facebook wall'd me saying that she is friends with the RA on my floor and had heard good things about me and wanted to meet up. I ran into her and the RA in the campus bar a little while later (go to school in Canada), exchange quick greetings as we're both on our way places, and go our separate ways.
She facebook walls me a little while later about my status or something, I am spending the weekend in Vancouver and, thanks to my phone, we end up walling back and forth a lot a lot. Pages of conversation - mostly witty back and forth, nothing substantial. Eventually we agree for her to cut my hair someday soon, and exchange phone numbers so that our conversation moves to texts. Oh, and for what it's worth, she's definitely flirting with me. I mean, definitely. So we meet up, she cuts my hair, we promise to hang out again. Also, we start IMing - not just banal shit, but stuff about our lives and childhoods and blah blah.
A week or so passes with texting but no hanging out until I invite her over to play Risk, which she does. That weekend, we go to a party together, both drink and spend the night cuddling, kissing, watching TV. Next night, same thing happens. Night after that, same thing happens, except we're sober. On the middle night I made a crack about borrowing her car to ask her out, and when she leaves at like 5 AM that night she texts me "maybe you can borrow my car and ask me out sometime."
Monday, I IM her and tell her I'd like to take her out whenever she's free. Also, I say that I'd kinda like to know where we stand. She says that she likes me but doesn't know if she can pursue something (she got out of a 3 year relationship back in August). I say that's fine, we agree to be friends with a distinct possibility of something happening in the future. She encourages me to hook up with other girls in the meantime, I say I probably won't and that I want to be the first to know if she becomes attracted to or involved with someone else. She mentions that it's super weird that we went from e-acquaintances to "involved" with no in-between. It's amicable.
She spends the rest of the week blowing me off. I see her around, but she spends all her time with these people she met on the Sunday before. Doesn't respond to all my texts, goes from going out of her way to hang out with me to making no effort. That weekend I'm pretty down, text her saying I want to talk, she says that she kinda has been wanting to too. The next night we meet, she says that she got freaked out because she realized she was having serious feelings for me and couldn't really manage that at this point in time. We affirm the friend thing, I tell her the ball is in her court, and we spend the next week (this past week) hanging out. Chilling in my dorm, campus center, whatever. I don't see her every day, but we clearly coexist without any awkwardness or anything. She still ignores some of my texts (pretty much the ones that don't have a direct question, even "hey what are you up to"s don't get many responses).
She facebook walls me a little while later about my status or something, I am spending the weekend in Vancouver and, thanks to my phone, we end up walling back and forth a lot a lot. Pages of conversation - mostly witty back and forth, nothing substantial. Eventually we agree for her to cut my hair someday soon, and exchange phone numbers so that our conversation moves to texts. Oh, and for what it's worth, she's definitely flirting with me. I mean, definitely. So we meet up, she cuts my hair, we promise to hang out again. Also, we start IMing - not just banal shit, but stuff about our lives and childhoods and blah blah.
A week or so passes with texting but no hanging out until I invite her over to play Risk, which she does. That weekend, we go to a party together, both drink and spend the night cuddling, kissing, watching TV. Next night, same thing happens. Night after that, same thing happens, except we're sober. On the middle night I made a crack about borrowing her car to ask her out, and when she leaves at like 5 AM that night she texts me "maybe you can borrow my car and ask me out sometime."
Monday, I IM her and tell her I'd like to take her out whenever she's free. Also, I say that I'd kinda like to know where we stand. She says that she likes me but doesn't know if she can pursue something (she got out of a 3 year relationship back in August). I say that's fine, we agree to be friends with a distinct possibility of something happening in the future. She encourages me to hook up with other girls in the meantime, I say I probably won't and that I want to be the first to know if she becomes attracted to or involved with someone else. She mentions that it's super weird that we went from e-acquaintances to "involved" with no in-between. It's amicable.
She spends the rest of the week blowing me off. I see her around, but she spends all her time with these people she met on the Sunday before. Doesn't respond to all my texts, goes from going out of her way to hang out with me to making no effort. That weekend I'm pretty down, text her saying I want to talk, she says that she kinda has been wanting to too. The next night we meet, she says that she got freaked out because she realized she was having serious feelings for me and couldn't really manage that at this point in time. We affirm the friend thing, I tell her the ball is in her court, and we spend the next week (this past week) hanging out. Chilling in my dorm, campus center, whatever. I don't see her every day, but we clearly coexist without any awkwardness or anything. She still ignores some of my texts (pretty much the ones that don't have a direct question, even "hey what are you up to"s don't get many responses).
So I just got back from a 8 or 9 hour trip to see a band play. She drove us, it was her, I and a friend-couple. It was fun.
Basically, she's been treating me in a really comfortable, easy-going way. I can't tell if it's flirting or "hey we're good enough friends that I can joke around" - she tossed me a wink at one point as a joke and we can banter like none other. There's been no mention of dating or romance or anything.
So for a little while there I had some serious "this is the girl for me" shit going on with her, but lately the wishy-washyness has turned me off a bit. I still like her, and would love to date her, but I've cooled off a bit. What I want to know is, does it seem like there's anything there, or should I really just walk away? Should I entirely forget romantic anything, or keep that as a possibility? Should I gradually move our relationship to a more intimate level or just totally chill out entirely? I need guidance. I've been totally honest with her, and normally that works one way or another but here I'm in a limbo that I really hate.
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