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Life has gone to crap, but not really.[Life advice needed]
DanMach
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Quickly my stats:
22, male, make 50K+, no college degree.
Work in IT.
Over the last 3 years of my life things have slowly gone more and more downhill in every aspect except proffessionally. I was dating a girl from about 17-20.5 and I really believe I was in love with her. However, at that point in time, my life was not very stable. I had quit college to move in with my grandma who was dieing of Alzheimer. I moved in because my mother needed a helping hand dealing with her.. If you have ever lived with an Alzheimer patient, you will understand the need for more muscle then a 50 year old lady can give.
I continued to date the girl while I moved in with my grandma, as it did not move me that far away from her. We were about 15 miles away, but the conflict arose with my schedule, as you will read in a few sentences. Having to leave school because we couldn't afford it anymore and I refused to put myself into 20k+ debt at the age of 19... I went to work. I got a job fixing computers at a mom and pops... and this is where things go to hell. In short order me and my SO's work schedules were basically the reverse of eachothers. I worked about 9AM-6PM, her 4PM-11PM. I had asked her not to take that shift because it would put us at ends.. but she did. I supported it as best as I could, but in the end we couldn't make it work. We were never seeing eachother, we were both getting jealous that the other person had new people in there lifes that saw them 10X more then the other did.. etc etc.
So in december I called it off. I explained why, she of course did not agree. I tried to do the mature thing, I couldn't handle the stress of my dieing grandmother, my mother's own finicial failure, and my increasing pressure to somehow hold it together. Well we broke up. It wasn't pretty, it was a huge cluster fuck. We broke up, and about 3 months later one of her friends came to me and said she had feelings, so I tried to move on and date her.. it didn't work. Then that july a blessing/curse came. My grandmother became 100% bed ridden all the time. No longer was I required to faciliate in her daily movements.. she was put on hospice, feeding tube, etc etc. So I was "free" of that, and I prompltly moved towns and got a much better IT job. That was about a year ago(August of last year), I worked in that town for about a year(until august of this year) and I got a job with a 40% pay increase.. so naturally I took it.
So! Here I am now, sitting "pretty" money wise, pretty stable, exercising a lot, etc etc.. and I feel like my life is devoid of meaning. I am still pursuing several proffessional goals, but even they feel pretty empty.. I have dated a lot since I left that girl 2 years ago or so, longest realtonship was about 3 months.. and I have never managed to click like I did with that girl. I don't want that girl back, she has gone pretty far down hill(constantly drunk, tried to date my brother, etc etc)... but I can't really meet any girls now a days.
I work about 50 hours a week on average, which to some of you may seem horrible.. but before you cry "get a better job!!" I opt for these hours. The amount I work isn't the issue, the timeslots I work do.. I work 12 hour shifts, on varying days of the week. As such, I can't ever reliabley sign up for classes, or a soccer league, or any other of the 50 ideas I have to meet people my age. Most of my friends are engaged/long term realtonships, or are in same deal of "work work work" as I am.
So what advice do I need?(if anyone bothered to read all this).. pretty simple stuff
How can I get over that girl? I don't want her back, but god do I ever wish I could be with her again, her from 2 years ago. I tried dating, but most girls these days are frigen idiots. Even the ones with masters are morons.
What can I do to cheer my life up some? I foster homed for a puppy a few months back, and that was nice.. but caused some property damage and roommate strife.. so I can't do that again. I exercise daily(10 mile bike ride to work, one way, every day).
Am I just a person meant to be unhappy?
Booooooo life.
22, male, make 50K+, no college degree.
Work in IT.
Over the last 3 years of my life things have slowly gone more and more downhill in every aspect except proffessionally. I was dating a girl from about 17-20.5 and I really believe I was in love with her. However, at that point in time, my life was not very stable. I had quit college to move in with my grandma who was dieing of Alzheimer. I moved in because my mother needed a helping hand dealing with her.. If you have ever lived with an Alzheimer patient, you will understand the need for more muscle then a 50 year old lady can give.
I continued to date the girl while I moved in with my grandma, as it did not move me that far away from her. We were about 15 miles away, but the conflict arose with my schedule, as you will read in a few sentences. Having to leave school because we couldn't afford it anymore and I refused to put myself into 20k+ debt at the age of 19... I went to work. I got a job fixing computers at a mom and pops... and this is where things go to hell. In short order me and my SO's work schedules were basically the reverse of eachothers. I worked about 9AM-6PM, her 4PM-11PM. I had asked her not to take that shift because it would put us at ends.. but she did. I supported it as best as I could, but in the end we couldn't make it work. We were never seeing eachother, we were both getting jealous that the other person had new people in there lifes that saw them 10X more then the other did.. etc etc.
So in december I called it off. I explained why, she of course did not agree. I tried to do the mature thing, I couldn't handle the stress of my dieing grandmother, my mother's own finicial failure, and my increasing pressure to somehow hold it together. Well we broke up. It wasn't pretty, it was a huge cluster fuck. We broke up, and about 3 months later one of her friends came to me and said she had feelings, so I tried to move on and date her.. it didn't work. Then that july a blessing/curse came. My grandmother became 100% bed ridden all the time. No longer was I required to faciliate in her daily movements.. she was put on hospice, feeding tube, etc etc. So I was "free" of that, and I prompltly moved towns and got a much better IT job. That was about a year ago(August of last year), I worked in that town for about a year(until august of this year) and I got a job with a 40% pay increase.. so naturally I took it.
So! Here I am now, sitting "pretty" money wise, pretty stable, exercising a lot, etc etc.. and I feel like my life is devoid of meaning. I am still pursuing several proffessional goals, but even they feel pretty empty.. I have dated a lot since I left that girl 2 years ago or so, longest realtonship was about 3 months.. and I have never managed to click like I did with that girl. I don't want that girl back, she has gone pretty far down hill(constantly drunk, tried to date my brother, etc etc)... but I can't really meet any girls now a days.
I work about 50 hours a week on average, which to some of you may seem horrible.. but before you cry "get a better job!!" I opt for these hours. The amount I work isn't the issue, the timeslots I work do.. I work 12 hour shifts, on varying days of the week. As such, I can't ever reliabley sign up for classes, or a soccer league, or any other of the 50 ideas I have to meet people my age. Most of my friends are engaged/long term realtonships, or are in same deal of "work work work" as I am.
So what advice do I need?(if anyone bothered to read all this).. pretty simple stuff
How can I get over that girl? I don't want her back, but god do I ever wish I could be with her again, her from 2 years ago. I tried dating, but most girls these days are frigen idiots. Even the ones with masters are morons.
What can I do to cheer my life up some? I foster homed for a puppy a few months back, and that was nice.. but caused some property damage and roommate strife.. so I can't do that again. I exercise daily(10 mile bike ride to work, one way, every day).
Am I just a person meant to be unhappy?
Booooooo life.
DanMach on
0
Posts
If you enjoy dogs but you can't have one in your home you should go volunteer at the animal shelter. Or, if your roommate is okay with it, sponsor/adopt an older dog that isn't in the chewing/tearing things up phase.
Actually, it's possible either of these things could lead you to meeting women. You could meet other volunteers at the shelter, or at a dog park/dog activities.
Your income is great(in my opinion considering I'm older than you by nearly 4 years and a poor college student in debt) you should consider investing in a small motorcycle/moped/scooter. They easily get 50-80mpg and that would increase how far you could go while still being pretty green in my opinion.
but as I said, my proffessional life has been pretty stable.... but its still a lonely road lol
Some others might have comments about the various services out there like Match or eHarmony.
You can deal with this in a few ways: make friends with slightly older people, make friends and/or date people your age with the realisation that they're naturally going to be a little immature (but they'll mature soon), or switch jobs so you can go back to school and put yourself into a different mindset. All three are pretty viable, so it's up to you what seems best.
Trow: I suspected the same, I still keep close ties with a lot of my friends who are graudating this year, or freshly graduated. Most of them can't find jobs right now(due to there semi-BS degrees and the market), and a couple of them just got there officer commission for the air force.
Lately the only person I ever really talk to is my friend's fiance. She lives a few miles from me, and we chat on AIM a lot when I am at work. I think this is another issue with my personality.. I have always strived to be ahead of the pack in terms of maturity and job security.. while people who have been out there understand the difficulties in being stable and secure, most of my peers are clueless. Still living off college loans, or with parents.
I am starting a new exercise regime thats a bit more involved, and am trying to find an animal shelter to volunteer at near my place. I am hoping those two combined can help me sort through this issue.
Thanks for everyones replies
PSN: TheScrublet
Even with the fact that I may not be able to get a loan for next year, I'm having the time of my life.
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