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The Worst Attraction In The Whole Wide World (NSF56K)
Gosling
Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, ProbablyWatertown, WIRegistered User regular
Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, ProbablyWatertown, WIRegistered User regular
The goal of the thread should be quite simple. Tell us about your picks for the worst tourist attraction in the whole wide world. Hearing about godawful crap is always fun. (Obviously, bonus points if you have actually visited said attraction. Do not skimp on details.)
For me, this would be Little A-Merrick-A in Marshall, WI. Couple towns away. A place called Theme Park Review has a pretty good photo tour of it, but a few well-chosen shots should tell the story.
Let's start with my favorite, a photo taken while riding a Little A-Merrick-A rollercoaster...
See that little nub of road in the top-left corner? With the teal van pulling onto it? Just past that little nub of road, to the left, is the local slaughterhouse. Also visible from this spot.
This photo was taken in 2005. The park has been open as long as I can remember. I'm 23.
They're going to make a ride out of this wood.
For me, this would be Little A-Merrick-A in Marshall, WI. Couple towns away. A place called Theme Park Review has a pretty good photo tour of it, but a few well-chosen shots should tell the story.
Let's start with my favorite, a photo taken while riding a Little A-Merrick-A rollercoaster...
See that little nub of road in the top-left corner? With the teal van pulling onto it? Just past that little nub of road, to the left, is the local slaughterhouse. Also visible from this spot.
This photo was taken in 2005. The park has been open as long as I can remember. I'm 23.
They're going to make a ride out of this wood.
I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
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Every hour the clock is set in motion and some little statues of apostles come out and hit a little fake bell.
That's it.
And this is the crowd in front of it.
Every time, about ten minutes before "the magic happens" there is this huge crowd in front of it, waiting, cameras at the ready, keeping their children quiet, trying to find the best spot to watch the magic. And then it happens and OH GOD and everyone takes a picture and then it dawns on them - as if they form one big organism - that that was it. As they realise they just wasted a quarter of their time and probably lost their wallet too the crowd departs to one of the many fun attractions in Prague. Minutes later, the first new tourists appear and the whole thing starts over again. Hour after hour, day in, day out
The fact that we had to wander through deserted back streets in the rain at night to find him just makes it worse.
EDIT: a picture of this statute so people don't get the impression that I'm talking about some fetish show in the city's red-light district:
A new clock in Cambridge could possibly beat it in crapness for tourists, even though it's quite cool - the time-eater:
It's designed to be right only once every five minutes, and in reality it's been right fewer times than that, as it keeps going wrong. It cost one million pounds (thankfully a donation from an old Corpuscle), and took five years to build.
It's not that bad as an objet d'art, but it's on public display, on a busy corner with a narrow pavement. Tourists risk being run over by cars and bicycles, and students have to walk through the tourists who are looking at it wondering how the fuck you're supposed to work out the time.
That's an interesting story, really. Because the story is unknown in the Netherlands. It is a story written by an American author even. Only you fucked up Yanks know the story. If you'd go to the Netherlands and made a joke about it everyone would just stare at you and an awkward silence would fall.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Brinker
Worst place to go in the country as far as I'm concerned. Oh look, it's a giant god damned rock with some stupid fucking confederate heroes carved into the side of it by money that came from the fucking KKK! Let's go there every year to see the laser light show where we get to see Charlie Daniels' cross-over sensation "Devil Went Down to Georgia" animated with shitty 1970s technology!
It was all I could do to keep from laughing my ass off when we carted our entire music department over here as part of a school trip.
Yeah no, I'm a loser, but Disney World didn't thrill me at all.
I had more fun playing in the hotel elevator because oh my god it was glass and I could see myself going up and down!
Yeah, Disney World.
Also, fuck you Epcot.
That's pretty much it. Occasionally there are huge debates over how important the thing is, such as when the ruling political party refused to let the art ministry move the thing to Japan for some big, international art convention. They even wanted to transport the fucking water, so she'd carry a piece of Denmark with her!
It is a copy.
It's absurd. The only thing it's good for is being vandalized once every year.
It really is funny to me how many people live here and don't realize the whole place is a confederate memorial. It's really not a bad place though. I like the petting zoo, and the trails, and the skylift, etc. The laser show is pretty cheesy though.
They did last time I went, but that was probably 10 years ago now. It wasn't to dixie though, it was to something more generically patriotic, maybe 'I'm proud to be an American'? They also showed the two halves of the US coming back together.
Man, it has been so long since I've been there. My grandmother used to run a little bed and breakfast on the road between the village and the east entrance, I haven't gone back since she died. I should head over one saturday and just walk around.
This is true.
was kinda neat(I'm a little bit of a geek), and fantastic beer everywhere.
'Marineland of Florida' is the most god damned depressing aquarium I have ever been to. The place was filthy, all the water cloudy. Damn near everything needed a fresh coat of paint. Animals just looked miserable, and more than a few of them had capacity. Sad looking lethargic marine mammals are curiously depressing.
I thought they moved her further out to sea to avoid that.
Their whole schtick is that they are boring
There is a GREAT waffle stand right around the corner from the Mannekin Pis statue. Like, seriously good waffles loaded with fruit, chocolate and whipped cream..........
The stranger one is the female version of the statue, the Jeanneke Pis. It is located in a dead end back alley behind some bars. Really strange.
I have 549 Rock Band Drum and 305 Pro Drum FC's
REFS REFS REFS REFS REFS REFS REFS REFS
They didn't actually move the statue, they just removed some of the stones surrounding it so you can't grope her without getting your feet soaked. Relatively pointless gesture, since it isn't difficult to get over there if you really wanted to defile her.
If there's one sect you can insult on the Internet without a massive backlash, it's the Amish.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall_Drug
You go out west a ways, you start seeing signs with the exact distance in miles to this glorified strip mall all over the place. Shit, When I got off the train in amsterdam (netherlands) there was this sign pointing out to see saying "you are 5,298 miles from waldrug".
http://www.niagaraparks.com/garden/floralclock.php
Be still my beating heart.
What do we do on weekends? There isn't much. There used to be a mini golf course with go-karts. When I was young this was the best. Over time it deteriorated. In the summer of '07 my friends and I decided to go back and visit it. This is what we found. I'll spoiler it all because there are a lot of pictures.
It was a very challenging golf course. It had stuff like water traps...
Ramps!
And A ferris wheel that did not spin.
There were some difficult parts of the course, such as challenging angles
Bowling pins...
Oh wait, there were no bowling pins in that picture. Probably because they broke off ten years ago. Well, there used to be bowling pins and they used to move up and and down knocking your ball out of the way unless you had careful timing.
And deciding whether you were a QUEEN or a KING
Some of the holes were too hard for our own good
It's apparent they decided to put safety first over fun.
(those are rusty nails sticking out of some wood)
They even put some dirt on the green to make it seem like a real golf course.
My favorite part was the paddle wheel... except the paddles were kind of broken off, and had rusty nails sticking out of them. so i decided to operate a paddle on my own while my friend took a shot.
It's a shame that I am not posting a picture of the wooden airplane they had. It was difficult to get the ball around it considering it was completely elevated off the green.
Oh well, It was fun. By the time we finished we were being eaten alive by mosquitos. We won a free game in the last hole by hitting the ball into the clowns mouth. We really did not want to play again, so we gave it to a little girl with her parents. her parents didn't let her play again.
I would say it was some of the best $2.00 I've ever spent. We drove by later that fall and it was shut down.
The Clock in Prague (The hand of death is kinda cool, yes, it's totally a pickpocket's dream.)
Wall Drug (The signs are the best part of the entire experience.)
Stone Mountain (The Laser Light show in the 1980's was cool, if you like country music.)
The Denmark Mermaid (This was much smaller than the tour led me to believe it was going to be.)
Edit: I've been to the Corn Palace, Pigeon Forge, Gatlinburg, and Bronner's CHRISTmas Wonderland too.
OpryLand was lame too. I just found out that it is now it's closed. It's still got signs up across the region telling people to go there, but now there is no park. It's an elaborate joke on hicks.
What do you think the hand's coming out for?
"Witness the epic life story of the legendary Shawnee leader as he struggles to defend his sacred homelands in the Ohio country during the late 1700's. “Tecumseh!” has been labeled as one of the most mesmerizing dramas in the nation.
...
Over 2 million visitors have witnessed this great outdoor play, making it the most popular of its kind in the State of Ohio and the entire Mid-Western United States. Visit and find out for yourself why this 37-year-old production has been so widely imitated and continues to remain…"
This is fucking lying bullshit. Grandparents force children to watch it, and they can't fall asleep because bullhorns around the theater are constantly playing gunshot or horse galloping noises. It's two hours of boring history you can't hear because it's outside with bad acoustics.
Oh god that place was comically deadly
I'm pretty sure it only says "safer" because, from the sound of it, you could be flattened by flying roller coaster cars at any moment anywhere within a mile of that park.
They used to slip hapless workers like 200 to test out new rides for them
You could base an entire game around Action Park.