The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Going abroad to Japan
Talka
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'll heading to Japan in April for six months on a school-sponsored abroad program. It's three months with a homestay family as I attend classes, and then three months in corporate housing while I do a summer internship. I used to be excited about the trip, but my interest has dwindled lately and I'm trying to get myself psyched up for it. The problem is I really don't have any idea what to expect, and without any interest it's just become a source of anxiety. What do I have to look forward to? I'm nervous about the homestay, and I'm nervous about the internship. My Japanese used to be decent, but I stopped taking classes about six months ago. I know it's normal to be nervous (I've heard that if you're not freaking out you're doing it wrong), but I'd appreciate if anyone with experience going abroad or spending time in Japan could allay my fears and get me excited about going again.
I'm not a big drinker or a big partyer. I have pretty good social skills and I'm decent looking, and I'm funny around my English-speaking friends and the occasional guest. But I'm not great at meeting new people, even when they all speak English. Should I be making concerted efforts to reach out and talk to everyone and try and make as many friends as possible? That hasn't been my style with college (small group of close friends), but I'm in a rut so maybe I should just suck it up and try and go wild. I've just been dumped, so I'm going to be available with respect to hooking up--what should I expect there? Will it happen? Do I want it to happen? How do I go around meeting new people (women included) if I'm not a big party person? Should I just try and learn to enjoy partying? With programs like these, do you normally befriend the American students you're traveling with, other English speaking travelers/students you run across, or native Japanese speakers/students? I'm scared a lot of the people I'm going with are already close buddies with each other, and I might get left out for expeditions and adventures and stuff. Also, most of the people that are going with me are honestly kind of annoying (hardcore otaku nerds), so I'm especially worried about finding a good group of people to hang out with and travel with that I actually like.
I have no idea what to expect with the homestay and the internship. I'm scared my Japanese won't cut it for either situation, and I don't really have any skills that'll be useful in an internship (I'm a Psychology major). Everyone in the program normally lands an internship somewhere, but I'm worried. Does anyone have experience with abroad homestays and internships?
Again, I'm really just looking for someone to pump me up and get excited. I know I should be excited, but I'm just not anymore. The preparation (meetings, interviews, forms, etc) is stressing me out, doubly so because I'm already in a shitty mood because I've just been dumped. How do I get out of my funk and get pumped up to go abroad?
I'm not a big drinker or a big partyer. I have pretty good social skills and I'm decent looking, and I'm funny around my English-speaking friends and the occasional guest. But I'm not great at meeting new people, even when they all speak English. Should I be making concerted efforts to reach out and talk to everyone and try and make as many friends as possible? That hasn't been my style with college (small group of close friends), but I'm in a rut so maybe I should just suck it up and try and go wild. I've just been dumped, so I'm going to be available with respect to hooking up--what should I expect there? Will it happen? Do I want it to happen? How do I go around meeting new people (women included) if I'm not a big party person? Should I just try and learn to enjoy partying? With programs like these, do you normally befriend the American students you're traveling with, other English speaking travelers/students you run across, or native Japanese speakers/students? I'm scared a lot of the people I'm going with are already close buddies with each other, and I might get left out for expeditions and adventures and stuff. Also, most of the people that are going with me are honestly kind of annoying (hardcore otaku nerds), so I'm especially worried about finding a good group of people to hang out with and travel with that I actually like.
I have no idea what to expect with the homestay and the internship. I'm scared my Japanese won't cut it for either situation, and I don't really have any skills that'll be useful in an internship (I'm a Psychology major). Everyone in the program normally lands an internship somewhere, but I'm worried. Does anyone have experience with abroad homestays and internships?
Again, I'm really just looking for someone to pump me up and get excited. I know I should be excited, but I'm just not anymore. The preparation (meetings, interviews, forms, etc) is stressing me out, doubly so because I'm already in a shitty mood because I've just been dumped. How do I get out of my funk and get pumped up to go abroad?
Talka on
0
Posts
These three things i've picked out to comment upon. I dont have any experience directly with Japan, so i'll leave that to others.
a) Let yourself be involved with these people. Even if you think its not going to be fun, involve yourself and go along to everything offered. Sure, some of the things you do may not be the most fun, but if you make it out like you're not interested in being around these people they'll simply stop asking you, then you WILL miss out on potentially awesome things. Trips are great for trying out stuff you never would have tried otherwise, so just suck it up and get involved! You'll surprise yourself
b) Theres no better way to learn a language than being thrown in at the deep end. You'll pick up everything you've forgotten pretty quickly, and then some.
c) Thats normal. Breakups are hard stuff, and tend to put you in a really negative place. Just let it happen naturally, you'll move past it. Just follow the advice in your other thread and cut off all contact, put it all out of the way, and you'll recover faster. Easier said than done, but seriously try to do that.
QUITE TRUE INDEED.
But seriously, you'll be fine. Just go with the flow. If you can make lots of local friends, do that. Though I would recommend against getting into a relationship with a local, as there is a natural "time bomb" effect due to you leaving the tectonic plate. You might get a weird love/hate relationship from some Japanese. On one hand, you're this awesome American who stands out in a crowd (assuming you aren't of Japanese descent). On the other hand, you're a foreigner.
To be quite honest though, if you're living in Tokyo and take the express train from the airport into the city, it will take about 15 minutes for you to get absolutely amped for living there. The first time I rode into "the big city" I was awestruck.
Some questions I have so I can better understand your situation and give you more detailed advice:
1.) Where will you be living?
2.) What level of Japanese are you at currently? You mention it as decent, I just want to understand your skill level a bit more clearly.
3.) Are you on a budget?
I'm happy to answer questions via PM as well.
2008, 2012, 2014 D&D "Rare With No Sauce" League Fantasy Football Champion!
If your live-in sucks in regards to helping you integrate, well that's not helping and it makes it more work for you but it's still doable. It would then be up to you to make sure you make connections with coworkers and elsewhere. Everyone that I know however that stayed with a family had a great time and the family loved taking advantage of having a native English speaker, everyone learns the languages quickly that way.
My homestay is in Kyoto, but the internship could be anywhere (since I don't have one lined up yet, I don't know). Most people in the program stick around Kyoto for the internship.
My Japanese is about intermediate level. I'd taken two years of college level courses, and by the end I could communicate with my professor and my classmates pretty well. But when I listen to natural conversation between real Japanese people I just get lost. And I'm extremely rusty after taking six months off from studying. I used to be able to read about ~700 characters, but that was before I stopped studying.
And money isn't really a problem. My parents are loaded and I have a ton of spending cash I'm willing to splurge with from my last couple of jobs. My real concerns are finding people to travel with rather than being able to afford it. I know this is one of those problems it's silly to be worried about, and that I should really be grateful for what I have. But I'm anxious about the whole thing and I'm really in a rut right now.
This Christmas break is going to be my last chance to really shop around before I go. Is there anything I should be buying to get ready? New clothes, shoes, etc? Or is it more fun to shop over there?
Also, what sorts of things are going to be fun? Is it the interactions with my homestay family? The school experience? Traveling during the weekends? Meeting new people? I don't know what to be excited about and what to be anxious about.
About concerns with language deficiency: I took time off in my sophomore year, having studied the language for no more than 8 months, to live in Tokyo with some half-Japanese girl I met at school who was returning to spend some time with her dad's side of the family blah blah blah.... I flew there alone and had to navigate my way to a dingy hotel in Takadanobaba for a couple nights, exhausted and half-deranged from not being able to sleep on planes. That was probably the only time language was an issue. Sure, people will look at you quizzically if your intonation is slightly off and try to speak back to you in broken Engrish leading to clusterfucks of verb confusion, but it's nothing that will get you killed.
About making friends/hook ups: If you're in a big city (or just by virtue of going to school), chances are you'll have the opportunity to meet people from all sorts of continents. There are plenty of avenues outside partying (which usually amounts to bar hopping/kareoke, as clubs are way expensive and "keggers" non-existent), such as class, clubs (are you a musician? athlete?), hanging with your homestay.
Of the people I met in Japan, I'm really only still friends with the Americans, as they're the ones I can legitimately call up and be like "yo, let's rob a bank!". But like you, I don't drink, don't smoke, and really only have 5 or so close friends at a time, but once you're in a somewhat ephemeral situation like this I think you'll find it's much easier to just relax and I guess you could say, lower your standards, to just having very casual friendships.
As to sexual relationships, once I was better at Japanese, I found to my dick's dismay that my distinctly American ideals didn't especially mesh with Japanese culture. Of course, like I said, the Japanese are not the only ones on the island, but don't be surprised that should you find interest in some Weeaboo's Delight that you soon lose interest when you discover she mostly just babbles about horribly inane things because self-expression is a no-no and homogeneity is the way to go-go.
About the Internship: I'm not really sure what to say...is it not something that's already guaranteed? Like you're expected to find one once you're over there? Honestly, if that's the case, I'd be scared too. But I'm guessing the school you'll be attending will have guidance.
About homestays: When I went to Kansai Gaidai in my Junior year, I stayed at a dorm because I didn't want to have to deal with a two-hour commute to class in the morning. But my friends that did homestay all seemed to have largely positive experiences, formed strong bonds with their families and got into a minimum of psychologically damaging scenarios. That said, there will always be the potential for nightmares. If worst comes to worst, you should have the option of housing provided by the school.
But yeah, I had a great time on both occasions. I'd never been out of the country, nor been to an especially large city (from the Boston area, went to college in rural Vermont), so that aspect was rather mind-expanding. You'll probably find yourself laughing a lot, whether at actual jokes or just ridiculous intersections of cross-cultural buffoonery. If you're in any way intelligent, which seems likely, you'll probably find school easy. Which is awesome if your home institution is hella stressful on the mentals, giving you lots of time to ride trains and explore.
Good luck.
Depending on how tall/big you are, you may want to plan to bring extra clothes. I'm 6'4", 240 lbs and not exactly the "target size" for clothesmakers so I brought extra stuff. Probably goes without saying but bring business formal clothes for your internship, assuming you'll be working in some sort of office setting. Also depending on your current weight, fitness level, dietary habits, etc. expect to lose some weight. I dropped 25 pounds in 4 months just by eating like the Japanese do, lots of fish and rice. Plus I walked EVERYWHERE.
Soap/shampoo is OK in Japan, but I'd suggest bringing some extra western Deodorant and maybe some standard medicinal stuff such as ibuprofen, nyquil, pepto bismal, etc. Maybe it was placebo but I always felt the stuff from home was a bit more powerful.
I was most nervous about my homestay, and truth be told it did not go as well as I had hoped. The host father had a disdain for Americans (great!) and held W's policies in Iraq against me. Host Mom was awesome, and the Host Brother was quiet and cool most of the time but didn't go out of his way to show me around. It was an excuse for me to just use my home stay as "base camp" for food, sleeping, showers, etc. and spend most of my time experiencing Japan.
Pretty much everything you mentioned up there will be a ton of fun but a lot of it is what you put into it. If you make an effort to travel around the country, you will be rewarded. If you make an effort to meet people you will have lifelong friends whom you can share this experience with. REmember, they're all in the same boat as you in the school: away from home in a strange land, looking for someone to share in the journey.
2008, 2012, 2014 D&D "Rare With No Sauce" League Fantasy Football Champion!
The non drinking might limit you a little bit with social interaction with Japanese, espcially men. They love to drink, but that doesn't mean you cant go with them, just have something non alcoholic. They may ask "Hey do you drink?" if you flat out say no, they won't invite you to anything, but if you say "Well I wouldn't mind going out, but I don't feel like alcohol tonight". Something along those lines.
I have done two homestays, and they are a mixed bag. One homestay I did was like living with a family in the 50's. Mom did everything, dad was home at a reasonable hour, we ate dinner together, talked about the days activities there was a tv we watched together and we might have went to an amusement park.
The one I did in Kyoto was like I was staying with some mid 40's who didn't want to admit they were old. We went drinking every night, and caused a ruckus driving to different places they liked to eat, we went to the hot springs together, stayed up late etc. Pretty wild I thought but still enjoyable.