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Story thread with a story in it

FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
edited November 2008 in Social Entropy++
You guys ever start your day off with a pre-noon series of bizzare events? Do you guys think that strange goings on can set the tone for the whole day? Because if they can, today is gonna be weird

So I am sitting in my room, smoking a bowl-pack and listening to buffalo springfield, much like any other morning at 9:50; the doorbell rings. Ain't no thing, I think, I see a lawnmower in my driveway and assume it's some dude just tryin' to mow my lawn. I ignore it.

I go into my kitchen, and the dude with the lawnmower is in my fuckin' driveway, fucking with my fence and looking into my garage. Okay, I think at first, this ain't nothin', he's just seeing if we're in the yard to ask if we need work done, right?

So he comes back around and rings the doorbell like ten times in a row, super fast. I don't answer again, because I'm all like, "What is this big 20 something year old black guy doing lurking around here". So anyway, I let my dog in because I don't want her to get friendly with this guy if he tries to come into the house via our back door or anything, and this fucker comes around, opens up the gate (leaving his lawnmower in my driveway and the gate open) and starts cracking around inside my garage.

At this point I call the cops, they get there while I'm on the phone with the operator within like five minutes of the dude going into my garage, and they kick down the door with their guns drawn and shit all yelling and stuff. They can't find the dude and another officer tells them the guy apparently dipped the fuck out and they nabbed him for a sec down the street, but he got away again.

So at this point I have to be in class, so I get a ride from my girlfyfriend to school and assume it's over. But then I get a call from a strange number, and it's a goddamn detective trying to pick me up at campus and drive me by the perp so I can identify him. Homeslice picks me up, we drive past the asshole who has changed clothes but is clearly the exact same dude, and I am all "10-4 dogg" and he's all "KSSSH BRING HIM DOWN TO PRECINT" and it was pretty cool.

But the real point of my story is that, for the first time ever, I have been stoned off my ass in the front seat of a cop car.

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Fandyien on
«13

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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    sorry, you lost me at "stuffing my face full of evil satan drugs"

    EDIT: Yes, my avatar has appeared!

    NotASenator on
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    the real crime is that you didn't offer the cops a hit off your bowl

    you asshole

    Druhim on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Did the cop let you taser the guy?

    Hunter on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    but nas it's a good story really

    Fandyien on
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    I woke up this morning, ate a bagel, fed the baby, changed him, watched some Sportscenter followed by First Take, took a shower, and just made this post.

    I live a life of danger and intrigue.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    the real crime is that you didn't offer the cops a hit off your bowl

    you asshole

    I dunno man they looked like narcs to me

    Fandyien on
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    zimfanzimfan Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    that's a pretty awesome story Fandy

    zimfan on
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    BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    fandy you should have told him it was a giant instect head man trying to rob you

    Balefuego on
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    FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    that's funny that they weren't curious at all about you being high

    Futore on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    officer i would like to report a preying mantis problem

    Fandyien on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    that's funny that they weren't curious at all about you being high

    They can't tell

    Nobody can really tell except my girlfriend

    Fandyien on
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    the real crime is that you didn't offer the cops a hit off your bowl

    you asshole

    I dunno man they looked like narcs to me
    man that's just the weed talking

    Druhim on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    what if it wasn't the same guy, you racist?

    but really, cool story

    lostwords on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    also, what the hell, a lawnmower is the worst getaway vehicle

    lostwords on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I am 99% sure it was the same guy

    I feel bad enough about potentially sending that dude to prison, I can't imagine it being an innocent dude D:

    Fandyien on
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    LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    That is a rad story, 'specially the end

    Ledneh on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    so this guy's a neighbor of yours, and he just decides out of the blue to raid your garage? crazy.

    Centipede Damascus on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I am 99% sure it was the same guy

    I feel bad enough about potentially sending that dude to prison, I can't imagine it being an innocent dude D:

    What if he was stealing to pay for a medical treatment to save his kid from cancer or some shit. Way to go.

    Hunter on
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    JohnHamJohnHam Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    This is the first story thread in a while where the story is threadworthy

    storythreadstorythread

    JohnHam on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    so this guy's a neighbor of yours, and he just decides out of the blue to raid your garage? crazy.

    I have no idea who he is

    I live right next to like three seperate crack ghettos

    Fandyien on
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    FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Futore wrote: »
    that's funny that they weren't curious at all about you being high

    They can't tell

    Nobody can really tell except my girlfriend

    There was a black dude afoot. You are just an innocent white boy. A victim

    Futore on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    so this guy's a neighbor of yours, and he just decides out of the blue to raid your garage? crazy.

    I have no idea who he is

    I live right next to like three seperate crack ghettos

    I bet the crack heads call your place the weed ghetto.

    Hunter on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Futore wrote: »
    that's funny that they weren't curious at all about you being high

    They can't tell

    Nobody can really tell except my girlfriend

    There was a black dude afoot. You are just an innocent white boy. A victim

    Seriously, here in Richmond, you are 70% less likely to get arrested if you're white

    This one time my girlfriend and I were trying to get into her car 'cus she had locked herself out and a cop drove by us three times while I shined a light in there and fucked with all the doors and he didn't do anything

    Fandyien on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Hunter wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    so this guy's a neighbor of yours, and he just decides out of the blue to raid your garage? crazy.

    I have no idea who he is

    I live right next to like three seperate crack ghettos

    I bet the crack heads call your place the weed ghetto.

    if only the crackheads and the potheads could learn to live in peace

    Centipede Damascus on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Hunter wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    so this guy's a neighbor of yours, and he just decides out of the blue to raid your garage? crazy.

    I have no idea who he is

    I live right next to like three seperate crack ghettos

    I bet the crack heads call your place the weed ghetto.

    if only the crackheads and the potheads could learn to live in peace

    Centuries of strife

    They are the mordor to my gondor

    Fandyien on
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    JohnHamJohnHam Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Why would anyone do crack? Has anyone ever, in the history of all things, seen a person doing crack, and thought, "hey that looks fun"

    JohnHam on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Futore wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Futore wrote: »
    that's funny that they weren't curious at all about you being high

    They can't tell

    Nobody can really tell except my girlfriend

    There was a black dude afoot. You are just an innocent white boy. A victim

    Seriously, here in Richmond, you are 70% less likely to get arrested if you're white

    This one time my girlfriend and I were trying to get into her car 'cus she had locked herself out and a cop drove by us three times while I shined a light in there and fucked with all the doors and he didn't do anything

    tangentially related story: my friend lives in baltimore and locked his keys out of his car one tuesday morning. so he's looking around all confused, and this 12 year old kid comes up to him, asks him if he locked himself out. friend says yup. then the kid reaches into his backpack, gets out one of those thin metal crowbar thingies, and jimmies the lock open in about 10 seconds, says that'll be $5. my friend gives him $20 and goes along his merry way, hoping the extra tip means his car won't be robbed any time in the future, hopefully.

    lostwords on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    One time two years ago I accidentally smoked crack and it sucked.

    Fandyien on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    so this guy's a neighbor of yours, and he just decides out of the blue to raid your garage? crazy.

    I have no idea who he is

    I live right next to like three seperate crack ghettos

    I bet the crack heads call your place the weed ghetto.

    if only the crackheads and the potheads could learn to live in peace

    Centuries of strife

    They are the mordor to my gondor

    more like the sodom to your gomorrah

    the capulets to your montague

    the las vegas to your reno

    Centipede Damascus on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Futore wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Futore wrote: »
    that's funny that they weren't curious at all about you being high

    They can't tell

    Nobody can really tell except my girlfriend

    There was a black dude afoot. You are just an innocent white boy. A victim

    Seriously, here in Richmond, you are 70% less likely to get arrested if you're white

    This one time my girlfriend and I were trying to get into her car 'cus she had locked herself out and a cop drove by us three times while I shined a light in there and fucked with all the doors and he didn't do anything

    tangentially related story: my friend lives in baltimore and locked his keys out of his car one tuesday morning. so he's looking around all confused, and this 12 year old kid comes up to him, asks him if he locked himself out. friend says yup. then the kid reaches into his backpack, gets out one of those thin metal crowbar thingies, and jimmies the lock open in about 10 seconds, says that'll be $5. my friend gives him $20 and goes along his merry way, hoping the extra tip means his car won't be robbed any time in the future, hopefully.

    That kicks ass

    That kid is a new type of gray market entrepeneur

    Fandyien on
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    DerLustigeBosniakDerLustigeBosniak Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    If I was smoking a bowl and then saw a black guy breaking into my garage, I think I'd be too paranoid to even call the cops. Fandyien, respect.

    DerLustigeBosniak on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    JohnHam wrote: »
    Why would anyone do crack? Has anyone ever, in the history of all things, seen a person doing crack, and thought, "hey that looks fun"

    it makes more sense than someone who considers doing meth, at least

    Centipede Damascus on
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    Sara LynnSara Lynn I can handle myself. Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Oh Fandy

    Sara Lynn on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    If I was smoking a bowl and then saw a black guy breaking into my garage, I think I'd be too paranoid to even call the cops. Fandyien, respect.

    It's not like they were gonna search my house and arrest me for a dude breakin' into my ga-rage.

    I gotta be a responsible citizen, wut wut

    Fandyien on
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    JohnHamJohnHam Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    JohnHam wrote: »
    Why would anyone do crack? Has anyone ever, in the history of all things, seen a person doing crack, and thought, "hey that looks fun"

    it makes more sense than someone who considers doing meth, at least

    I can at least imagine a practical reason for that; like if you need to do your taxes in forty seconds or so

    JohnHam on
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    fandy how the fuck do you accidentally smoke crack?

    Druhim on
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    DerLustigeBosniakDerLustigeBosniak Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    If I was smoking a bowl and then saw a black guy breaking into my garage, I think I'd be too paranoid to even call the cops. Fandyien, respect.

    It's not like they were gonna search my house and arrest me for a dude breakin' into my ga-rage.

    I gotta be a responsible citizen, wut wut

    Yea, I was going to say.

    But then again, I smoke in my garage and it'd be an incredibly interesting situation if someone was breaking into my garage while I'm sitting there in my recliner.

    DerLustigeBosniak on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    i can understand crack. its cheap and plentiful and hey life sucks, why not. i feel like an authority on it, having watchedd the wire about a bajillion times.

    lostwords on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    fandy how the fuck do you accidentally smoke crack?

    I was at some dumb party, these guys had put rocks in blunts and they were putting the blunts into a bong. It didn't make any sense. I hit the bong/blunt/crack whatever thinking it was just weed, started feeling really weird, and then noticed that the blunts were really wet with something that wasn't pot. Wet and nasty with crack.

    Fandyien on
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    DerLustigeBosniakDerLustigeBosniak Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    lostwords is a white dude

    DerLustigeBosniak on
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