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Alien vs Sexual Predator

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Posts

  • McClyMcCly Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    if twilight had come out like a month ago edward would've been the costume every pathetic 14 year old boy looking to get laid would've worn to school

    it would've been so hilarious

    instead they all just dressed up as the joker

    and Mario and Luigi.

    McCly on
    kbellchewiesig.jpg
  • MarshmallowMarshmallow Swish SwishRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Robcham wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    also high school girls like lots of stupid things

    for example

    that god awful twilight movie

    Fuck Twilight.
    Fuck it so hard it dies.

    While I was working someone asked me if I was familiar with the whole Twilight craze.

    because "you look just like a little Edward, the girls are going to be all over you."

    I will never :x any harder then I did right then.

    hey

    use it to your advantage, man

    I want nothing to do with folks attracted to this series. I will put up with coworkers talking about how much they love WoW Paladins or whatever, but I don't care how hot the girl in Twilight is I do not want to hear it.

    Marshmallow on
    img]
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    also high school girls like lots of stupid things

    for example

    that god awful twilight movie

    Fuck Twilight.
    Fuck it so hard it dies.

    While I was working someone asked me if I was familiar with the whole Twilight craze.

    because "you look just like a little Edward, the girls are going to be all over you."

    I will never :x any harder then I did right then.

    This reminds me of a time when a girl said that I looked like someone from 'N Sync.

    I didn't stick around to find out who she was talking about.

    Macro9 on
    bO0v7.png
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I am so glad I've been oblivious to Twilight up until now

    would you like to know more?
    ok

    there are werewolves as well in the twilight books
    only they turn into actual wolves

    and somehow are a match against vampires
    who have super strength, speed, magic powers aghjadgjsfgak what the fuuuuck

    Robcham on
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Robcham wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I am so glad I've been oblivious to Twilight up until now

    would you like to know more?
    ok

    there are werewolves as well in the twilight books
    only they turn into actual wolves

    and somehow are a match against vampires
    who have super strength, speed, magic powers aghjadgjsfgak what the fuuuuck

    But does their fur sparkle in the sunlight?

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • McClyMcCly Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Robcham wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I am so glad I've been oblivious to Twilight up until now

    would you like to know more?
    ok

    there are werewolves as well in the twilight books
    only they turn into actual wolves

    and somehow are a match against vampires
    who have super strength, speed, magic powers aghjadgjsfgak what the fuuuuck

    Sounds like some Furry shit.

    McCly on
    kbellchewiesig.jpg
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    BYToady wrote: »
    Robcham wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I am so glad I've been oblivious to Twilight up until now

    would you like to know more?
    ok

    there are werewolves as well in the twilight books
    only they turn into actual wolves

    and somehow are a match against vampires
    who have super strength, speed, magic powers aghjadgjsfgak what the fuuuuck

    But does their fur sparkle in the sunlight?

    Can they become Werewolves at anytime?

    Is one of them blue?

    Macro9 on
    bO0v7.png
  • MarshmallowMarshmallow Swish SwishRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    "When I read it, I was convinced Stephenie was convinced that she was Bella, and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Like some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced, like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.' And sometimes you would feel uncomfortable reading this thing. It's kind of a sick pleasure in a lot of ways."

    -- Robert Pattinson in a recent interview with E!Online.

    Haha, even the main character thinks the books are terrible.

    Marshmallow on
    img]
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I told my friend that twilight looks to be terrible shit from a butt

    and he said he was gonna go see it because it looks awesome

    I am dumping this person as a friend

    Raneados on
    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I bought my brother a copy of Twilight for Christmas.

    I also got him a copy of How to Make Friends and Influence People.


    And then I got him a couple non-shitty-joke presents.

    ChicoBlue on
  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Robcham wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    also high school girls like lots of stupid things

    for example

    that god awful twilight movie

    Fuck Twilight.
    Fuck it so hard it dies.

    While I was working someone asked me if I was familiar with the whole Twilight craze.

    because "you look just like a little Edward, the girls are going to be all over you."

    I will never :x any harder then I did right then.

    hey

    use it to your advantage, man

    I want nothing to do with folks attracted to this series. I will put up with coworkers talking about how much they love WoW Paladins or whatever, but I don't care how hot the girl in Twilight is I do not want to hear it.

    Dude listen.

    Free Sex

    It doesn't matter what you or they think. Sex


    On halloween I got trashed for denying a girl who pretty much within 5 minutes of meeting me in a full Travis Touchdown costume for blowing me.

    I didn't understand at the time.

    Now I do.

    Don't make my mistakes. Sex is always good.

    Khavall on
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    "When I read it, I was convinced Stephenie was convinced that she was Bella, and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Like some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced, like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.' And sometimes you would feel uncomfortable reading this thing. It's kind of a sick pleasure in a lot of ways."

    -- Robert Pattinson in a recent interview with E!Online.

    Haha, even the main character thinks the books are terrible.

    aaawwkward

    Robcham on
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    "When I read it, I was convinced Stephenie was convinced that she was Bella, and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Like some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced, like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.' And sometimes you would feel uncomfortable reading this thing. It's kind of a sick pleasure in a lot of ways."

    -- Robert Pattinson in a recent interview with E!Online.

    Haha, even the main character thinks the books are terrible.

    I see a Misery like scenario in this guy's future.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Sexual predators have several described weaknesses, the most common being an aversion to wolfsbane. Unlike vampires, sexual predators are not harmed by religious artifacts such as crucifixes and holy water.
    Another vulnerability is to use a weapon of silver (bullet, knife etc). To stab a sexual predator with a silver dagger, or to shoot it with a silver bullet is said to not only kill them, but to also cause them agony in the time before they die, rather resembling being slowly burned from the inside.

    Dichotomy on
    0BnD8l3.gif
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    BYToady wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    BYToady wrote: »
    Jordyn wrote: »
    just buy your kid some porn.

    No Jordyn, children must be terrified of the naked body. They have to bathe in the dark because they might at some point decide to touch their dingdongs and hoohoos.

    I for one plan to glue my children's hands into fists.

    They may never be able to hold anything but I will sleep easy knowing that they will never grip their filth rod or fill their sin holes.

    Mori allow me to introduce you to a concept known as fisting.

    oh wait, nevermind, just open your fisting directory.

    Fisting isn't that disturbing, I mean, women are supposed to pass a baby through that thing

    granted a hand isn't supposed to go in there but you know

    anal fisting though, holy crap

    Moriveth on
    3ds friend code: 2036 9837 9754 Switch: 3661 4488 2896
    PSN/XBL id: Moriveth Steam: L4Mori
  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.

    Crashmo on
    polar-bearsig.jpg
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    BYToady wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    BYToady wrote: »
    Jordyn wrote: »
    just buy your kid some porn.

    No Jordyn, children must be terrified of the naked body. They have to bathe in the dark because they might at some point decide to touch their dingdongs and hoohoos.

    I for one plan to glue my children's hands into fists.

    They may never be able to hold anything but I will sleep easy knowing that they will never grip their filth rod or fill their sin holes.

    Mori allow me to introduce you to a concept known as fisting.

    oh wait, nevermind, just open your fisting directory.

    Fisting isn't that disturbing, I mean, women are supposed to pass a baby through that thing

    granted a hand isn't supposed to go in there but you know

    anal fisting though, holy crap

    I dunno, I've had some constipated dumps that I'd swear to being bigger around than my fist.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    "When I read it, I was convinced Stephenie was convinced that she was Bella, and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Like some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced, like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.' And sometimes you would feel uncomfortable reading this thing. It's kind of a sick pleasure in a lot of ways."

    -- Robert Pattinson in a recent interview with E!Online.
    Haha, even the main character thinks the books are terrible.
    this is wonderful

    Faricazy on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.
    i was going to make fun of Paramore of being in this movie (because Paramore is terrible) but Muse is there too soooo

    Faricazy on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    the twilight books are basically continuing the damage anne rice did to these noble movie monsters

    anne rice turned them into flouncing self-pitying faggots

    twilight took away all their violence and sexuality and instead replaced it with smoldering glares and partially unbuttoned shirts

    jesus christ

    you guys remember the early seasons of the simpsons when lisa was obsessed with this famous guy named Corey, a sort of pastiche of different 80's and 90's teen idols?

    twilight is basically if Corey became a vampire

    Pony on
  • McClyMcCly Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I bought my brother a copy of Twilight for Christmas.

    I can't believe you actually spent money on it. Or did you steal it? Because that's ok.

    McCly on
    kbellchewiesig.jpg
  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.
    i was going to make fun of Paramore of being in this movie (because Paramore is terrible) but Muse is there too soooo

    I'm pretty sure she actually directly thanks Muse in all of the books and in interviews and stuff. Like non-stop.

    Crashmo on
    polar-bearsig.jpg
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    here are some words that rhyme with Corey

    story

    hoary

    allegory

    Dichotomy on
    0BnD8l3.gif
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    McCly wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I bought my brother a copy of Twilight for Christmas.

    I can't believe you actually spent money on it. Or did you steal it? Because that's ok.

    it's okay if it is a gag gift

    like if chico doesn't like his brother very much

    chico is this your roundabout way of telling your brother you think he's homosexual?

    Pony on
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.
    i was going to make fun of Paramore of being in this movie (because Paramore is terrible) but Muse is there too soooo

    it was terrible
    they used it in a scene where the vampires are playing baseball

    during a storm

    because when they hit the ball the impact makes a thunderous noise

    oh god this is really just bullshit

    Robcham on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    here are some words that rhyme with Corey

    story

    hoary

    allegory

    montesorri

    Pony on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.
    i was going to make fun of Paramore of being in this movie (because Paramore is terrible) but Muse is there too soooo

    I'm pretty sure she actually directly thanks Muse in all of the books and in interviews and stuff. Like non-stop.
    i'm sort of disappointed in Muse for letting her

    Faricazy on
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Robcham wrote: »
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.
    i was going to make fun of Paramore of being in this movie (because Paramore is terrible) but Muse is there too soooo

    it was terrible
    they used it in a scene where the vampires are playing baseball

    during a storm

    because when they hit the ball it makes the sound of thunder

    oh god this is really just bullshit

    I asked my friend about this shit. I swear I could not keep a straight face when he explained it to me.

    Macro9 on
    bO0v7.png
  • McClyMcCly Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    here are some words that rhyme with Corey

    story

    hoary

    allegory

    montesorri

    regulatory

    McCly on
    kbellchewiesig.jpg
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    McCly wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    here are some words that rhyme with Corey

    story

    hoary

    allegory

    montesorri

    regulatory

    mastubatory

    Macro9 on
    bO0v7.png
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.
    i was going to make fun of Paramore of being in this movie (because Paramore is terrible) but Muse is there too soooo

    I'm pretty sure she actually directly thanks Muse in all of the books and in interviews and stuff. Like non-stop.

    What in the hell does Muse have to do with vampires?

    George Fornby Grill on
  • McClyMcCly Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Macro9 wrote: »
    Robcham wrote: »
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.
    i was going to make fun of Paramore of being in this movie (because Paramore is terrible) but Muse is there too soooo

    it was terrible
    they used it in a scene where the vampires are playing baseball

    during a storm

    because when they hit the ball it makes the sound of thunder

    oh god this is really just bullshit

    I asked my friend about this shit. I swear I could not keep a straight face when he explained it to me.

    Do they have the power of Thor?

    McCly on
    kbellchewiesig.jpg
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    i have a funny story from the release day of breaking dawn, the most recent book in that series

    but it basically turns out to be one of those "pony belittles a social inferior" type stories and people hate those

    oh well

    i think it's funny, anyway

    Pony on
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I have managed to completely sidestep this Twilight phenomena

    I think it's that I don't maintain any regular contact with girls who are dumb.

    Dichotomy on
    0BnD8l3.gif
  • RobchamRobcham Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    McCly wrote: »
    Macro9 wrote: »
    Robcham wrote: »
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Also, the author thanks Muse and all but says their name directly when she describes the people in the books listening to music

    She actually got Supermassive Black Hole in the movie, not sure if she got any others.
    i was going to make fun of Paramore of being in this movie (because Paramore is terrible) but Muse is there too soooo

    it was terrible
    they used it in a scene where the vampires are playing baseball

    during a storm

    because when they hit the ball it makes the sound of thunder

    oh god this is really just bullshit

    I asked my friend about this shit. I swear I could not keep a straight face when he explained it to me.

    Do they have the power of Thor?

    it's just from the impact but goddamn the whole thing is shit

    Robcham on
  • WrenWren Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    so a friend of mine is writing a vampire novel

    I just smiled and nodded during the whole conversation

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • ChomplinChomplin Not 100% a dick Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    i have a funny story from the release day of breaking dawn, the most recent book in that series

    but it basically turns out to be one of those "pony belittles a social inferior" type stories and people hate those

    oh well

    i think it's funny, anyway

    Oh god please tell me.

    I need my fix of pony stories.

    How do they always turn out so awesome?

    Chomplin on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    i don't even know you

    go back to your shadows, lurker

    you people freak me out

    Pony on
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    i have a funny story from the release day of breaking dawn, the most recent book in that series

    but it basically turns out to be one of those "pony belittles a social inferior" type stories and people hate those

    oh well

    i think it's funny, anyway

    and

    Seriously on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    i don't even know you

    go back to your shadows, lurker

    you people freak me out

    Goddamn it's the only love you're going to get now tell the story.

    George Fornby Grill on
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