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Anyway to control what I dream about?
DanMach
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Seriously.
For the last few weeks I have been dreaming every night about my ex, who I haven't even seen in about 8 months. We dated [for] about 3 years, had an akward "on again off again" period for a year after and have been 100% apart for over a year now.
I have dated considerably after her, but nothing ever really clicked. The longest realtonship being about 10 weeks. Its really getting me down, and honestly just frustrating as all hell.
Any ideas??
For the last few weeks I have been dreaming every night about my ex, who I haven't even seen in about 8 months. We dated [for] about 3 years, had an akward "on again off again" period for a year after and have been 100% apart for over a year now.
I have dated considerably after her, but nothing ever really clicked. The longest realtonship being about 10 weeks. Its really getting me down, and honestly just frustrating as all hell.
Any ideas??
DanMach on
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I don't think you can really control what goes on during the deep stages of sleep, but you could probably convince yourself that you're dreaming during REM and think about something else to some extent, but you also might wake up.
At least in my experience.
I've had a lot of recurring dreams lately too, some of them are fun, some are just wtf...
Aside from filling your head with something more concerning than your ex, I'm not sure there is much control over dreams.
It is entirely possible for some people to have a significant, if not complete degree of control over a dream with the right techniques and practice. Not easy, necessarily, but possible.
The key is to know it is a dream, and then having some fun. However, next time you find your ex girlfriend in your dream, do the folowing:
Stand facing her, in a loud voice tell her "I want you to disappear from my mind, from my thoughts, from my dreams", and then turn around till she vanishes.
Are you sleeping lightly? Perhaps doing some exercise during the day so you sleep more heavily, and then getting out of bed immediately once you wake up, would help? I know it helps me.
But it might be the same for you. As mentioned before, try reading a really good book, playing music or video games, whatever you're into. Your brain basically recaps what you've been doing during the day. Some recent, pretty trustworthy, theories claims that your brain is firing the synapses to repair the damage done during the active daytime and at the same time burning them into your long term memory (I'm way too lazy to go pubmed and find the papers right now). Dunno if you are thinking a lot about this girl during the days though. Might be another mechanism in your case.
Real answer: When I get recurring dreams, it's because I'm avoiding something I ought to think through. Maybe you should really sort through your feelings about your ex, possibly with a friend or a counselor or something. (If you have a good relationship with your parents, they can be good for this.)
It could be possible then that if you can control what is in your short term memory, most notably by really experiencing the kinds of things you want to experience in your dream, then you could control the information that will be moving into long term memory. This doesn't give you complete control, but should give you a rough ability to control the subject(s) of your dream.
Also, slightly related but not quite, dreams aren't just a couple of minutes long, as that myth suggests. Most studies in the area actually show evidence to support that dreams occur in real time (for example, one minute of dream time equals one minute of real time.)
Maybe in his case thats possible, but what if its something that makes no sense, like at all... but keeps happening sometimes continuing a specific theme?
Er, thats almost a question in a question thread, I ought to make a new thread I suppose.
Usually something's triggering it, you know? Like, I get recurring dreams about having to go back to high school because someone just discovered that I never graduated. (I'm 23, so :P.) It seems like it generally happens when I'm putting off dealing with something and then worried about putting it off. For example, I'd been having that dream recently because I needed to call my old boss and beg for temp work so I could pay the rent, but I haaaaaate calling people on the phone for some reason, so I hadn't done it. As soon as I sucked it up and called her, though, the dream stopped. So maybe you could kind of do a mental inventory and see if there's something on your mind before your dream shows up, even if it doesn't seem related to the dream.
Umm, well... my current themed recurring dream has to do with me being on a ship, like a galleon of sorts. First dream I boarded it and blah blah nothing major. Some people from my life were there but nothing out of place. There were guns... lots of guns.. like pistols. Dream 2 (last night) I was doing inventory of the crates or something on deck and out pops some creepy really fat round guy with a gun and hes chasing me around the boat. I get a gun to protect my self but it has no ammo. So I run to a vault full of ammo, it happens to be up a ladder. He chases me but can't climb the ladder cause he is too fat. So I look down and he lights up a cig and I wake up.
The 2 dreams connected, like I could place objects and stuff from the two dreams, the setting and colors and overall time of day (night) were identical, it was just later on in the "story line"
I wonder if I have to fight a fatman!! (The fatman was really detailed for me to remember. Large, small limbs, blue skin tight suit... like he was that kid from willy wonka that blew up like a baloon. He had a blue tophat on.) And in typical dream fashion I felt like I wasn't in complete control, like I wanted to move or try to accomplish a simple task, but my dream body couldnt manage to do it. Dreams are fun, though. I'm glad I have these really vivid dreams
Heh, that does sound fun. I think some people are just wired to have really vivid dreams, and probably if you remember them, it makes them more likely to show up again because you've moved them around in your mind from short-term memory to long-term. Now that you've thought of the dream enough to write it down, maybe it'll show up again tonight.
I get adventure-y dreams when I'm feeling bored and restless, so maybe if you want to stop having that dream, go out and do something cool. Or it might just connect to some thought you've been having, but going out and doing something cool is always a good idea.
Being unable to run or walk at full speed for no apparent reason
Severe lack of balance (no idea why this happens)
Mouth full of glass, blood, loose teeth, etc. (man am I glad I beat this one)
Falling without hitting the ground
And one time I dreamed I was back in high school and the vice principal told me I was dreaming. Best thing she ever did for me.
Also know that for a while all you'll be able to do is train yourself to lift your head off your pillow and wake up. I've only been able to start flying, controlling people, etc. a few times.
If you want to dream less, or dream more positively in general, I suggest exercise.
Or pot. Pot would work too.
Being able to recognize you're dreaming helps in attenuating fear, panic, or dread in disturbing dreams. You can increase the likelihood of this (becoming aware of the dream state) by writing down the dreams as soon as you wake up. Do not try to form it into a story, just try to get as much down as you can before you forget it or start editting it into sensibility. Your ability to remember deatils will imrove as will your likelihood of recognizing you're dreaming.
Personally I find once I become aware that I'm dreaming and start directing a dream it becomes a lot less interesting. I'd rather retain the observer status and just see what I do and try to notice details.
This must vary by individual because that interferes with my dreaming a lot (or maybe I just forgot them). So much so that quitting resulted in a flood of extremely vivid dreams (clearing the backlog?). Alcohol also seems to interfere with dreaming for me.
After I got fired from a job in a pretty fucked up way, I had dreams for about 6 months where I was suddenly working there again and everybody was peachy. Just your brain dealing with the event.
I haven't taken a maths test for 10 years!
One of the kids I take care of has a really attractive sister, and the night I saw her pick up her brother I had a dream that another kid had a sister who was a porn star.
So I don't know what that says about me.
I agree with this completely. Sort out your feelings about it. Do you still want to be with her? Is there something you never said to her, but felt you should've? Did you lead her on in some way for a physical relationship? It's deeper than just 'oh, weird dream.. hm.'