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Cuisine for the culinarily unskilled
AresProphet
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Is that even a word?
So I want to start eating healthy. I'm not overweight, I'm grossly underweight. I'm doing it because I feel like I should, not because I have to. I'd like to put on some weight via eating right and exercising, but that's more of a long-term goal. I've got another big hurdle in my way first.
I currently eat a lot of fast food. One major contributing factor is my job. I work a lot of mid-day shifts (11 to 7) which means that I wind up eating both lunch and dinner at work a lot. That means trips to the drive-thru. I could perhaps bring one meal without much trouble, but if I try to wait to get home and eat dinner, well it's close to 8:00 by the time I get home and get something cooked. I'm one of the metabolically blessed too, which means I eat a lot despite being a skinny bastard. Skipping meals, or even waiting 8 hours between lunch and dinner, just doesn't work. If the expense of it was a problem I would have found a way to solve this long ago probably.
The other reason I eat out a lot is that I can't cook worth shit. I'm pretty much incapable of properly following a set of directions. If I read something like "brown a half pound of ground beef over medium heat" I freak out. How do I know when it's done? How often do I stir it? What kind of ground beef? That's a simple freaking instruction and it's still way over my head. Whenever I try to cook something more complicated than a cheeseburger it results in tragedy. If I eat at home it's something pre-cooked which I can just heat up. I can make sandwiches and salads (the latter with a lot of panicking over how to chop veggies) but that's about it. I'm not saying I can't learn how to cook, just that every attempt to try to pick it up on my own has failed miserably. If I had to subsist on a fridge stocked with nothing but basic ingredients, I'd likely starve.
I asked my parents to help but they aren't very good teachers. They assume that I know advances techniques such as boiling water, or skinning potatoes, or defrosting chicken breast. I'm that hopeless in the kitchen.
That's all background info, so that you know my problem.
What I need is first to learn how to cook. If there's a book out there which can help me that would be awesome. Or maybe a website or cooking show which specializes in teaching the hopeless to at least be amateurs. I don't need to be a professional chef, I just need to be able to cook well enough to feed myself.
After technique I need some basic recipes. Just easy stuff which is healthy. I'm only feeding myself here, and I'm not adverse to eating the same thing 3 nights in a row. Doesn't need to be cheap, but I'm not buying steaks every night. I'll eat most anything, but I'm picky about having beef well-done and I dislike excess fat on meat. Anything else goes. Cookbooks are grand, websites are better, cooking shows work too.
So I want to start eating healthy. I'm not overweight, I'm grossly underweight. I'm doing it because I feel like I should, not because I have to. I'd like to put on some weight via eating right and exercising, but that's more of a long-term goal. I've got another big hurdle in my way first.
I currently eat a lot of fast food. One major contributing factor is my job. I work a lot of mid-day shifts (11 to 7) which means that I wind up eating both lunch and dinner at work a lot. That means trips to the drive-thru. I could perhaps bring one meal without much trouble, but if I try to wait to get home and eat dinner, well it's close to 8:00 by the time I get home and get something cooked. I'm one of the metabolically blessed too, which means I eat a lot despite being a skinny bastard. Skipping meals, or even waiting 8 hours between lunch and dinner, just doesn't work. If the expense of it was a problem I would have found a way to solve this long ago probably.
The other reason I eat out a lot is that I can't cook worth shit. I'm pretty much incapable of properly following a set of directions. If I read something like "brown a half pound of ground beef over medium heat" I freak out. How do I know when it's done? How often do I stir it? What kind of ground beef? That's a simple freaking instruction and it's still way over my head. Whenever I try to cook something more complicated than a cheeseburger it results in tragedy. If I eat at home it's something pre-cooked which I can just heat up. I can make sandwiches and salads (the latter with a lot of panicking over how to chop veggies) but that's about it. I'm not saying I can't learn how to cook, just that every attempt to try to pick it up on my own has failed miserably. If I had to subsist on a fridge stocked with nothing but basic ingredients, I'd likely starve.
I asked my parents to help but they aren't very good teachers. They assume that I know advances techniques such as boiling water, or skinning potatoes, or defrosting chicken breast. I'm that hopeless in the kitchen.
That's all background info, so that you know my problem.
What I need is first to learn how to cook. If there's a book out there which can help me that would be awesome. Or maybe a website or cooking show which specializes in teaching the hopeless to at least be amateurs. I don't need to be a professional chef, I just need to be able to cook well enough to feed myself.
After technique I need some basic recipes. Just easy stuff which is healthy. I'm only feeding myself here, and I'm not adverse to eating the same thing 3 nights in a row. Doesn't need to be cheap, but I'm not buying steaks every night. I'll eat most anything, but I'm picky about having beef well-done and I dislike excess fat on meat. Anything else goes. Cookbooks are grand, websites are better, cooking shows work too.
AresProphet on
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I currently eat a lot of fast food. One major contributing factor is my job. I work a lot of mid-day shifts (11 to 7) which means that I wind up eating both lunch and dinner at work a lot. That means trips to the drive-thru.
In the past I have figured that making a sandwich at home and taking it to work is not only healthier than fast-food, it's also cheaper. It only takes me 10 minutes to make a sandwich, and I get to put whatever I want in it.
Also:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1073834500&highlight=cooking
That said, if you know anyone who cooks a lot, your parents for example, it does help to just watch. Cooking shows will help for this too, but really there's nothing better than peering over someone shoulder and being yelled at to pick up the wooden spoon and stir those onions when they're doing something else. I guess I learnt the basics by having a keen interest and nagging my mum to let me help cook every now and then when I was growing up. It might be too late for that now, but if you can invite yourself over to someone's house when they're making food, just make it a point to hang out in the kitchen and keep an eye on what's going on.
And come on, you can boil water! Fill a pot about two thirds full, turn on the stove-top element, and wait for the bubbles to rise. So easy. Do it! I challenge you to cook a packet of instant noodles using the instructions on the back (not the microwave instructions, mind you). This basically involves opening the packet and dumping the noodles into boiling water, and putting the seasoning in a bit later. It really is easy and a step towards greater things.
Report back in 24 hours!
and realise that you really aren't going to hurt yourself by mucking about in the kitchen.
Depends on what you're doing.
That was the only real joke in my entire post. I'm a Ramen expert, thanks. That in no way qualifies me to actually cook anything.
I undercook spaghetti (or any other pasta) every time. Part of it's living at a high altitude (5500 ft.) so any time I find directions and try to compensate by adding some time, it just doesn't work right. If I don't cook it longer it's, well, it's bad. I don't think "al dente" means "crunchy in the center."
As for sandwiches, I have considered them but need some ideas. Problem is that I need a really big-ass sandwich to make a meal out of it. Like a quarter pound of meat, loaded with all kinds of extras.
That thread scares me. Stuff like this and this? Disasters waiting to happen. Honestly the only advice in that thread I see myself capable of following without messing up too badly is this.
In that case, chuck the timer out the window and just keep testing it until it's right. I usually obsess over getting the timing of my pasta right, but I have never bothered to ask myself actually how long it takes. I just pull out strings to see if it's soft enough compulsively, from when it looks like it could be getting there until it's done.
(A quick test with spaghetti is to throw a string against the wall and if it sticks it's done. This gets frowns from my girlfriend but it works for me and its great fun)
Anyway, I can at least help with browning/sauteeing. Turn the stove knob around to about 9 o'clock, stick a pan on the hotplate, squirt a squirt of oil in. or butter, depends on what you're doing. Toss a little tiny bit of whatever you're cooking (onion or meat, for example) in, and wait. When it starts fizzling a bit, chuck everything else in. In the case of meat, stir till it all goes brown on the outside and water starts to appear in the pan. Onions cook a little faster, they just need to go soft and clear, pretty much. throw in garlic/spices/whatever when the meat or veg is about halfway done, because they cook faster.
After that point, a lot of recipes are pretty similar, its just about adding stuff in order and not boiling the crap out of it :P best thing you can do is get all the chopping etc out of the way before you start, and line all the ingredients up, so you don't panic and race around trying to find things.
Some random tips: When you are cooking something, stay in the kitchen. Don't go wandering and get distracted even if it seems like you can. Pay close attention to what you are doing; it's better to undercook something than overcook it. Practice, practice, practice. Everybody has to start somewhere. My first experiments were pretty funny (can you cook the rice, cochese?) but I stuck with it and just kept trying new techniques, read as much as I could and tried not to get discouraged.
Seriously, that is some great easy food. Just start it right before you go to work, leave it, and when you come back it will be ready.
Pick it up, then go back to the cooking thread once you have a few of the basics down.
I suggest looking up cassarole recipes if you want soemthing that is cheap and will last a couple meals (not many things match Shepard's Pie for being filling).
Seriously though, I'd really like some kind of "basic cooking techniques" cookbook if it's out there. Unlike the rest of the internet I have no qualms about paying for such things, amazon.com links and such are welcome.
I'm currently writing down every decent meal idea I have. So far:
-Chili in slow cooker
-That barbecue chicken stuff from the other thread
-Salads. Have a bag of shredded lettuce and diced veggies on hand at all times, add salad dressing.
It's not much but it's a start. Going to ask my father about how he makes spaghetti sauce (his is the best meat sauce I've ever had) and then look into a pot roast since it's supposedly idiot proof.
I have a slow cooker I inherited when my parents bought a shiny new one so I'm aiming to use that as much as I can. Throw something in before I leave for work, come home to dinner. In theory it sounds like perfection but I'm worried that it'll end up being much more complicated.
On the other end of things I need some decent portable lunches too, especially creative sandwiches. Those I can make, so long as the preparation is as simple: stack ingredients, eat. I get sick of the standard deli meat + mustard/mayo + white bread sandwich really fast. I just need inspiration, here.
Anyways, as far as books
Professional Cooking by Gisslen
The CIA Core Book (A little more indepth)
This first one is the main book we used at NAIT (one of the most recognized Canadian cooking schools), it can teach you the basics and has MANY recipes.
The second is my favorite, but is slightly more advanced, it still teaches the basics and such though.
I can't wait until I'm out of this shitty industry.
If you don't have access to the show and don't feel like buying DVDs, you can check out his books - "I'm Just Here For the Food," "I'm Just Here For More Food," and "Alton Brown's Gear For Your Kitchen." The books have the same easy-to-approach attitude as the show, most of the same recipes, and lots of handy info.
(not a shill)
I cant cook worth shit.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are about the extent of my l33t skills.
So get a girlfriend. The uglier the better.
Just like the oldies song goes man
"if you want to be happy for the rest of your life get an ugly girl to be your wife"
Bonus you get your place cleaned and laundry done.
OR
Pick up "Cooking for Men"
Easy read, simple recipes and you can pick it up at hastings.
Browning ground beef=easy. The different types of ground beef just have to do with where the meat comes off the animal; I don't remember which cut is best, there's really not that much different in taste to me. Get a big skillet (non-stick will work, cast iron is better), turn your heat up to medium, and throw in the meat. Ground beef has lots of fat in it already so you don't have to add any kind of oil to the pan. If you're browning the meat for a chili and you want really small pieces, grab a spatula and wooden spoon and just poke at it for a while; the meat will fall apart. When you hear it start to sizzle, grab a spatula and turn it all over. I have no clue how much time it'll take to cook, but basically it's done when you don't see anymore pink. You can screw with the doneness of steaks, where a little pink is okay, but with ground beef you want it all to be done.
Drain the grease from ground beef before you put the meat in anything. This seems like common sense, but I just thought I'd throw it in there.
And, I'll throw out an easy recipe for you.
You'll need one massive can of diced tomatoes, three regular-sized cans of tomato sauce, and one small (tiny) can of tomato paste. You'll also need frozen meatballs (they're pre-cooked, so you don't have to worry about that) and Italian sausage--I like mild and hot, you can get whichever you like or both. You'll also need: olive oil, garlic, salt & pepper, & various spices to taste.
Start off by covering the bottom of a large pot with olive oil, and turn the heat up to medium. While this is heating up, pull out about 3 links of sausage and chop them up into small pieces (maybe a half-inch each). When the oil is hot, add in the sausage. While the sausage is cooking, pull down the garlic and mince a few cloves (you can also just buy minced garlic to save time)--amount of garlic is up to you. When it's done, throw it in with the sausage. Keep stirring this together; garlic is disgusting when it burns. You'll know that the sausage is done when it darkens and gets a bit crusty. At this point, add half the meatballs (about 6) and stir to coat.
Give that a couple of minutes, and then turn the heat to the lowest setting and add in all those canned tomatoes. Stir really well; you may want to add a little water at this point if the sauce looks too thick. Season with salt, pepper, balsamic vinegar (if you have it), and various Italian seasonings--basil, oregano, & thyme are good, but you can also just buy a bottle of generic Italian Seasoning and use that. Keep the heat on low, and walk away. The sauce will start to simmer--leave it like that for as long as possible (I let it go for at least 3 hours). Make sure that you stir it whenever you go into the kitchen, or at least every 30 minutes. You want the sauce to have a bite to it--check the flavor periodically and add spices as you like. This makes a *lot* of sauce--you can eat on it for days, and you can freeze the leftovers if you want.
Get the fuck out of this forum.
Tell you what, though.
A book entitled "Cooking For Men" exists?
As in, it's a book whose entire premise is that women somehow cook in methods differently for men... or that women already know how to cook everything ever?
Are you fucking serious?
Not exactly that title maybe, but a search in Amazon reveals amusing results.
I've seen a few. Its basically just a marketing gimmick to lure the sexually insecure into buying a cookbook. There's lots of steak recipes, see, and recipes involving beer as a main ingredient, so you won't catch girl germs if you use it, promise! I'd say the phenomenon is more about publishers being condescending stone-age gits on occasion than any huge demand.
It may be a marketing gimmick but I don't think it has anything to do with publishers being condescending stone-age gits. Basically what the title "cooking for men" is saying is that men are generally worse at cooking because they traditionally cook less often. Just like that other discussion about girls being worse at video games not because of any lack of skill related to gender, but because of the fact that fewer of them play, and they play less often.
I mean really, your average cookbook is aimed towards people who already have an idea of how cooking works. Most of those people tend to be women, again, traditionally. And I don't think there is anything particularly wrong with recognizing that and using it to specify your target audience when you name a book.
I actually know MANY girls who play much more often than guys. The girls that are BETTER than guys don't talk about it and don't go "teehee look at me I'm a girl"... THOSE are the girls who suck. The GOOD ones don't go on and on and on about their vaginas, they just sit back and play the game... and are usually genderless.
Yes, fewer of them play, but the discrepancy isn't as large as you think, nor do the majority suck at what they do.
As for cooking, that's a fair point. Business is business. I was just shocked that someone would actually WRITE a book and TITLE it that way.
Here's where the sky's the limit. I put absolutely everything in my sandwiches. Tofu, anchovies, miso, olives, pepperoncini, pickles, all kinds of pickled vegetables, bean sprouts, veggies, olive tapenade, onions, etc. There are absolutely no rules whatsoever with sandwiches. You can even throw out the meat and just go with a nice mozzarella instead or even some nice fresh mushrooms. Yum yum. Once you get some more practice in I'm sure we can help you infuse mayo with all kinds of flavors too. I know this is a lot to take in right now but don't be shy. Go with what you like and just experiment often. If you've got a foreman grill, then you've also got a cheapo panini press too(yes, the lines are ugly but it tastes good).
Now...to point you in the right direction. I usually make my best condiment finds at farmers' markets and the best bread is usually from small local bakeries. If you don't have those in your area then you're just going to have to experiment with whatever you can get your hands in.
One last thing. I just wanted to second Comahawk's recommendation of the CIA Core Book. I think it's an excellent guide to beginner/intermediate technique.
I pretty much learned how to cook from recipe books. I think I started with Ainsley Harriot's Meals in Minutes type books. Really simple to cook meals that you can prepare really quickly but which seem pretty impressive.
Stirfrys are the beginners friend. Dice some meat, cook it in some oil, garlic and ginger, dice some vegetables and toss them in, add a spalsh of soy sauce and your done.
I don't think you really need everything spelled out for you with cookery though - beginners always feel like it's this exact science that has to be followed to the letter to achieve edible results, but really most recipes amount to tossing a bunch of stuff in a pan or pot and applying heat until it's cooked enough that you can eat it. You don't even have to follow the ingredients to the letter - if you like it well seasoned, double the seasoning, if you don't like one of the vegetables, just leave it out. If you're hungry add more of everything.
Remember that cave men cooked, so it isn't difficult, and before they discovered fire, they ate everything raw, so excluding certain ingredients you aren't going to kill yourself if you get it wrong.
this is so true, and was the exact problem I used to have. Until I realised that its just a haphazzard collection of food stuffs in fire, I never cooked anything.
Now I'll just chuck any old stuff in and most of the time it turns out pretty tasty. I have the simplest lamb stew recipe that I cook quite often because it is easy, filling, cheap and delicious
I have Food Network (oddly it came with the super-basic cable package, I get like 4 news channels and Food Network, not even ESPN) and watch it pretty regularly, I love Good Eats but it's never on when I'm home. I might see if there are DVDs available.
Okay this is awesome. I was an engineering student for a while until I discovered I hated math, but I'm that kind of personality.
There are DVDs available; I think you can get them at Alton Brown's website (www.altonbrown.com) or FoodNetwork's site. He also has at least a couple of cook books out, might be a good bet to look at those, too.