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I got drunk
Alexander11
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
It was my girlfriend's 21st birthday, i am 22, we have been together for four years, we are both eachother's best friend and throughout our relationships of 4 years we are still virgins in every way.
2 nights ago we, along with 4 of her friends and 2 of mine, went to the city and got 2 hotel rooms. The first bar was fun, that was where i got drunk and so did everyone else except for (not his real name) John. I dont' know why John didn't get drunk like we did, he talks big but never puts forward his words ya know? anyways, my girlfriend had never been drunk before and I was a little more expirienced, so i acknowledged my mental state and tried to overcome it, i wanted to keep her safe.
The second bar we went to is when the trouble all started. My girlfriend, let's call her Jane, had to pee and it was up to me to assist her from the table because all of her friends were already in the bathroom. She could not walk without leaning on me or hanging onto a table or wall, so i brought her to the bathroom. She was too drunk to understand that line and walked right up to the front where i apologized to the ladies in line and explained that she was my grilfriend and she had never been drunk before.
All of her friends came out of the bathroom, each one either not hearing/seeing my calls for their attention, before i knew it i was in the oen toilet bathroom with my girlfriend. Now i am a very strong man in my principles, so i turned around and faced thecorner and let her do her thing. When she was done, she literally could not buckle her belt. She sat on the sink in the bathroom and was ready to cry about the situation, so i walked over and tried to help herbuckle her belt.
What the girls in the line saw when they opened the bathroom door on us was a dude with a chick in the bathroom alone, she is crying and his hands are on her undone belt, naturally there was a problem. The bouncer was called over, the less inoxicated girls explained what they saw, i explained i was her boyfriend and i didn't want any trouble. The bouncer said he had to throw me out and i complied without any problem. there wasn't much of a "scene" really, but it was a missunderstanding.
I stood outside of the bar waiting for my friends, everyone came out but, but John was PISSED. "What the f*** is your problem!? why the f*** would you go into the girlsbathroom" etc. etc. Apparently going into the girls bathroom is a bigger deal at bars than it is at a church, i didn't know that one. Althought i can see why it would be at this point.
Now, after 2 days he won't talk to me, he won't talk to my girlfriend. I don't know why he took me getting thrown out of a bar so personally. The worst part is this: if it was him, our other friend that had gone, or 2 of our other "hilarious" buddies, than it woudl have been the story of the year. Whereas me, I literally have lost him as a friend.
I am not that broken up about it since every time we get together, i am in a constent state of defending myself from their ridicule about my being a virigin and that I am joining the Air force.
After the second bar that i got thrown out of, we went to another one where i continued to defend myself in what I had done, that i was only trying to help her, etc. The funny thing is, i think that if we really were trying to have sex in the bathroom, he would not have such a huge problem with what happened.
Mostly, at this point, he is mad because i tried to argue with him that i had not done something wrong, but i still don't think i did the wrong thing. Jane and I have been together for 4 years, we have a future together and a past, I stand by my right to go into the bathroom with her, turn and face the corner when she is getting business done, and help her buckle her belt.
Am i wrong? Is john's fury right? When/if he calls to talk about it, should i continue to defend myself for going in the bathroom (or as I see it, helping my super drunk girlfriend). I have been his friend for a long time, and same with the other guy that was there.
the horrible part is, this guy is one of those key dudes to the group of friends we have, if i lose it with him i am pretty much out. I don't want that to happen but on the other side, i refuse to get kicked around like a dog just to keep a bunch of friends that really don't make me feel good when i am with them.
P.s. I want to stay away from the answers that go along as if i should dump them as friends because they sound horrible. They really aren't bad guys, just a little imature. Please help me. Thanks
2 nights ago we, along with 4 of her friends and 2 of mine, went to the city and got 2 hotel rooms. The first bar was fun, that was where i got drunk and so did everyone else except for (not his real name) John. I dont' know why John didn't get drunk like we did, he talks big but never puts forward his words ya know? anyways, my girlfriend had never been drunk before and I was a little more expirienced, so i acknowledged my mental state and tried to overcome it, i wanted to keep her safe.
The second bar we went to is when the trouble all started. My girlfriend, let's call her Jane, had to pee and it was up to me to assist her from the table because all of her friends were already in the bathroom. She could not walk without leaning on me or hanging onto a table or wall, so i brought her to the bathroom. She was too drunk to understand that line and walked right up to the front where i apologized to the ladies in line and explained that she was my grilfriend and she had never been drunk before.
All of her friends came out of the bathroom, each one either not hearing/seeing my calls for their attention, before i knew it i was in the oen toilet bathroom with my girlfriend. Now i am a very strong man in my principles, so i turned around and faced thecorner and let her do her thing. When she was done, she literally could not buckle her belt. She sat on the sink in the bathroom and was ready to cry about the situation, so i walked over and tried to help herbuckle her belt.
What the girls in the line saw when they opened the bathroom door on us was a dude with a chick in the bathroom alone, she is crying and his hands are on her undone belt, naturally there was a problem. The bouncer was called over, the less inoxicated girls explained what they saw, i explained i was her boyfriend and i didn't want any trouble. The bouncer said he had to throw me out and i complied without any problem. there wasn't much of a "scene" really, but it was a missunderstanding.
I stood outside of the bar waiting for my friends, everyone came out but, but John was PISSED. "What the f*** is your problem!? why the f*** would you go into the girlsbathroom" etc. etc. Apparently going into the girls bathroom is a bigger deal at bars than it is at a church, i didn't know that one. Althought i can see why it would be at this point.
Now, after 2 days he won't talk to me, he won't talk to my girlfriend. I don't know why he took me getting thrown out of a bar so personally. The worst part is this: if it was him, our other friend that had gone, or 2 of our other "hilarious" buddies, than it woudl have been the story of the year. Whereas me, I literally have lost him as a friend.
I am not that broken up about it since every time we get together, i am in a constent state of defending myself from their ridicule about my being a virigin and that I am joining the Air force.
After the second bar that i got thrown out of, we went to another one where i continued to defend myself in what I had done, that i was only trying to help her, etc. The funny thing is, i think that if we really were trying to have sex in the bathroom, he would not have such a huge problem with what happened.
Mostly, at this point, he is mad because i tried to argue with him that i had not done something wrong, but i still don't think i did the wrong thing. Jane and I have been together for 4 years, we have a future together and a past, I stand by my right to go into the bathroom with her, turn and face the corner when she is getting business done, and help her buckle her belt.
Am i wrong? Is john's fury right? When/if he calls to talk about it, should i continue to defend myself for going in the bathroom (or as I see it, helping my super drunk girlfriend). I have been his friend for a long time, and same with the other guy that was there.
the horrible part is, this guy is one of those key dudes to the group of friends we have, if i lose it with him i am pretty much out. I don't want that to happen but on the other side, i refuse to get kicked around like a dog just to keep a bunch of friends that really don't make me feel good when i am with them.
P.s. I want to stay away from the answers that go along as if i should dump them as friends because they sound horrible. They really aren't bad guys, just a little imature. Please help me. Thanks
Alexander11 on
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you really have no reason to defend yourself. were you supposed to let your GF piss herself?
if he brings it up again tell him to grow up and focus on his own life. Then stop discussing it with him.
took out her barrettes and her hair spilled out like rootbeer
Your girlfriend needed help, you helped her. It's called being an adult.
And then never defend yourself again. IF someone else comes up to you and is all "John said this dude, what the hell?"
Just say, "I've told him my side of the story and he refuses to believe me or acknowledge that I did the right thing. That's it."
If John insists on continued behavior as an ass, so be it. Alternatively, if he is a good friend, just ask him what his problem is and why he can't seem to accept that you were just trying to help your girlfriend.
That's all that really matters here. All you can really say is, well, I'm sorry you feel that way but given a second chance, I'd have rushed in there again because if she needs my help, I'm going to be there. Someday you might find someone as awesome as she is and understand it from my perspective.
Arch,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
Yeah, those damn homosexuals! Ruining all of the friendships for the rest of us! What the hell is wrong with those people!?
Ok sorry, the correct word was EMO. Seriously, he's acting a friggen wuss as if somehow this is offensive in any way.
Arch,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
If they can't drop it, they're assholes. Not just immature. They're the type of people you don't want as friends if they can't take your word or respect your desire to have them back off from a sensitive subject.
Try not to let your girlfriend get so drunk in the future.
No, faggot was right the first time.
OP - you were right. Drop your "friend" Jon.
This alone makes them huge dicks and it is not something you should have to defend yourself over.
Edit: You don't need to defend yourself to these guys. Would they let their girlfriends piss themselves in a public place, or be an adult and help them?
If you really want to stay friends with him, you're going to want to take him aside somewhere - alone, just you two - and talk it out. Take him out somewhere, and explain to him the ENTIRE situation exactly as you remember it, and point out where you think the misunderstanding comes from (the fact that you were actually doing A, and he seems to think you were doing B, etc...), and most importantly, point out that you're sad that this misunderstanding has come between you, and that you value his friendship and you also want him to know that you never intended to do (B), because that's not the kind of person you are.
Without anyone else around, if you lay it out to him, he has no one there to keep whatever sentiments or image he's putting up for other people. (note that this is the same reason that most negotiations between arguing parties are done away from the prying eyes of others. It is easier to relate to other people if neither of you have to fulfill any of the additional behavioral expectations of those around you) If he STILL keeps it, that means he doesn't even want to listen to what you have to say... which not only means nothing you can do will change his mind, but that he's just going to keep doing this to you whenever he misunderstands you, someone else, or any situation. That is NOT worth it. That's like an anti-friend.
If he does listen to what you have to say, and realizes that there was a misunderstanding... you can work with it from there. I would say it's not worth it even if he does come around, but that's from where I'm sitting right now.
With these credentials, I'm going to say it: John is a douchebag. So, you went to the girl's bathroom (to help your girlfriend pee because she was drunk, but apparently context doesn't matter with John), and the boucer asked you to leave, which you did. Big deal.
Also, I know you don't want us saying it, but I have to: These friends don't sound like good friends. But whatever. John's the issue there. And he sucks. While I read your whole post about drunken states with a bit of a rolleyes and a "tsk tsk", you did nothing wrong and he's being a douche. Fuck him.
I'm with Proto:
Firstly I would question you let your girlfriend get into that state to begin with.
Secondly ask him what you should have done. You're not supposed to go into the girls bathroom unless there is a good reason to. Such as: you are a girl, you are going to have sex (Because the girls toilets are believed to be cleaner) or you are going in to help someone.
You had a good reason to be there, ask John why there is a problem, ask him what you should have done instead, if he says you shouldn't have gone in there, ask him what your girlfriend was supposed to do.
Satans..... hints.....
Your friend needs to stop being a drama queen. A person's 21st birthday only comes once, but the stories of that night should last a lifetime.
I'm just wondering what his relationship with your girlfriend is about. Sounds like there's some funny jealousy thing going on his side of the border. (But nothing for you to worry about, I'm sure)
Also, saving yourself for marriage? Is that a religious/traditional thing for both of you?
Yeah, usually when we go out the point at which one person can't stand up is the point at which you know the night is successfully over.
I always thought 21 was a ridiculously high drinking age but after reading this story...maybe it should be higher.
Arrange to go out drinking with John again sometime soon. Buy the first round. Step up to bar and say "I'll have a beer and my friend John here would like a large glass of Grow The Fuck Up. Put one of those little umbrellas in it, because he certainly acts like a god damned girl".
I may have missed it, but what's your girlfriend's opinion of the situation?
Are you sure you're not leaving anything out of your story? It just seems like the math of the problem doesn't quite work.
Something along these lines. Play it off. Not in a vindictive, escalating into full-blown drama kind of way, though. Just make fun of him back. He's certainly acting like enough of an asshole to give you some material.
But make light of it.
It doesn't sound like John is really up for a light-hearted laugh about this.
What the fuck is his problem with this anyway? Is he some kind of prude, or is he pissed off that you got them kicked out of the bar, or what? Honestly this sounds like virgin purity bullshit to me and he needs to grow the fuck up about it. You need to just sit down and have talk with him that consists of about 4 sentences, in which you explain:
1. You dragged her to the bathroom because she couldn't stand and her oblivious girlfriends were not around/no help.
2. You ended up in the bathroom with her because she pulled you in there, she proceeded to do her business and then couldn't even dress herself, so you helped.
3. As him what the fuck his problem is with this scenario.
He definetly is not being prude about this situation, I know he isn't because he is always having sex with girls. I honostly don't know why he took my getting booted out so personally. This is actually why i started this thread, because I wanted to know if i had done anything wrong.
honostly, whenever i try to explain what happened he just keeps repeating that i went into the girls bathroom and that I am a f*** moron for doing that. I tried to exaggerate a scenario and ask him if i could go in the girls bathroom if i the place was on fire adn i was trapped, and he just stared at me and told me never to go into the girls bathroom.
For the guy who asked, I am not just saving myself for marriage, i like to think it is more personal than that. I am saving myself for my future wife, i want my gift to her to be the ability to honostly tell her that she is the only one i have ever loved physically and emotionally. granted i am christian and much of this comes from the commands of God, but not all of it.
Is there any prior history between John and your girlfriend?
I went to the girl bathroom once, because there were no other kinds of bathrooms open in a girl-only dormitory way past curfew and visits time in which I've stayed with a friend (and that is NOT permitted), and I'm still alive today to tell the story.
You should go into the girl's bathroom if there is an excellent reason to. Sometimes there is.
Edit: And yeah, when did going into the girl's bathroom suddenly become some kind of major moral issue?
Like to boink your girlfriend.
Of course he wouldn't, if offered he'll say "it's not about the money, it's the principle" because really it's about him having too many vodka redbulls and they do crazy things to your adrenaline and make you flip out at the slightest shit and now he's just going to look stupid if he admits he over-reacted.
I just think people shouldn't over-drink and by the sounds of things that's exactly what everyone was doing - except for him.
To be clear, I'm not saying he's right but I do see where he's coming from.
OK, then here's all you need to do next time you talk to him:
Hey man, I'm sorry I got kicked out of the bar and all that shit. What can we do to make this go away because I'm sick of you being pissed at me and vice versa because we're supposed to be friends.
Be the bigger man and see how he responds - don't even try to explain what happened.
P.S. if you were my friend and you got kicked out of a bar while I had a full beer on the table, you bet I'd be finishing that beer before I came to get you. Unless you were getting the shit kicked out of you or something.
I'm not saying John is justified in how he's acting about it now though. In this John is the moron.
If this guy is your friend, a real friend, not just a guy you happen to hang around with because you know the same people, the simple act of buying a couple of extra rounds yourself the next time you guys are out should make up for everything. If it doesn't there are obvioulsy some other underlying issues that John isn't telling you and maybe you aren't as close as you think.