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How do you spend your evenings with your wife/girlfriend?
TheDragon
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I live with my girlfriend. We both work the same hours, coming home at or around the same time. We have a couple shows that we like to watch together. We have netflix and watch movies once or twice a week. We cook and eat together. Have sexy fun times. Rarely we'll play a game of Settlers of Catan or chess... what I'm looking for here is more ideas of fun things we can do together.
I'm more a solitary person (and I love video games), she gets bored on her own and wants to do more together (wants me to play less video games). I don't want to watch tv that I don't care about with her because I don't want to be that couple that goes home and watches 5 hours of tv and goes to bed.
What ideas for activities do you guys have for couples to spend time together? I was thinking more of things to do at home, but if there's great ideas about things away from home I'm listening. We go to the gym together, sometimes go out to see a movie or live entertainment, or get dinner. Sometimes hang out with other couples and do something, but that's rare.
She doesn't like most video games so that's out. She'll play You Don't Know Jack... no Gears of War though.
I'm more a solitary person (and I love video games), she gets bored on her own and wants to do more together (wants me to play less video games). I don't want to watch tv that I don't care about with her because I don't want to be that couple that goes home and watches 5 hours of tv and goes to bed.
What ideas for activities do you guys have for couples to spend time together? I was thinking more of things to do at home, but if there's great ideas about things away from home I'm listening. We go to the gym together, sometimes go out to see a movie or live entertainment, or get dinner. Sometimes hang out with other couples and do something, but that's rare.
She doesn't like most video games so that's out. She'll play You Don't Know Jack... no Gears of War though.
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The same works for her. If she has some shows she enjoys and you make an honest attempt to enjoy them she should do the same for you and maybe give a game or two a try.
Other than that it already sounds like the two of you are doing most of the things a couple can do together. Maybe do it more often then?
... yes, those kinds too. But also D&D, or Spycraft or the like.
If you and her both have friends who are interested in such a thing, you two could start a campaign amongst them and that way not only socialize with each other, but also spend some time with your friends.
Also, Marathon's "Bite the Bullet" comment rings true to me as well. Lately I've been playing World of Warcraft... I hate the game... because it's what my wife wants to do in the evenings, and she wants me to be a part of it. I think it's one of those sacrifices one makes for marriage.
Perviness aside.. have you asked her what she'd like to do as a couple instead of playing videogames or watching TV? She might have some ideas. The gym thing is a great one.
Also one of my buddies was having this problem and since then we've started having a game night once a week with boardgames or CCG's or something.. and we all get into it and love it.
Also, it's perfectly okay to be in the same house as your sig. other and not be doing the same thing. It's even okay to go out without eachother and have alone time that way too.
Cause man, I live with my gf, and sometimes I'm thankful for the fact that A)we have different work schedules and B)I still have my own space I can go do and do stuff by myself, including playing videogames.
Maybe you guys should do something like eat dinner together, with tv off, talk for a while, do the dishes, do whatever other chores need doing, and then you guys can feel ok going and doing your own thing. And by all means, if you guys both like particular shows then watch those together.
My wife and I both usually share the load of making dinner/cleaning up, and between that and actually eating, we're talking about our days and other random stuff. By the time that's all finished, if she's watching something that I don't like, I don't feel bad going and reading a book or magazine or something. When we first moved in together, we both felt the need to "do things" together, but the fact is she has her stuff and I have mine, and not much overlaps as far as regular weeknight activities go besides a couple tv shows.
Join a book club? Whoever said gym thats a great idea also. Maybe try to go to a concert / sports / play event once a month?
I suppose this depends on alot of factors Like how much conflicting noise there would be (I played alot of WoW which can be soundless, or used headphones.) And How comfortable you are straddling your attention across media, but it always worked for us. We could then at least chat without engaging completely in each others activities.
I enjoy online shopping, games (you must get a Wii!), TV (mostly American as ozzie TV sucks hard!), cooking (mostly baking, I rock the roasts and scones!) and playing on my PC (learning about downloading music and TV shows etc).But my partner likes dining out, chatting to mates on the phone or online and seeing friends socially, he hates sitting still (which is something I love…) so sometimes we do my things, sometimes we do his things and a lot of the time, we do our own thing.
We have only been dating a really short time though, so it sounds different to your situation. I love living alone (have only done so for about 3-4 months now) and having him come over when I get home from uni, work or gym, is so nice and if we are apart for 2 or 3 days, I practically jump into his arms to see him (we also have so much more to talk about after a few days apart.)
On Wednesday’s my partner and I go to socialize after my uni class with my friends usually, he hates this, I think, but he likes to flirt with me until we get home, and he likes to drink “I don’t drink†so its cool he can enjoy that in his own way...
But if you really want to hang out all the time, try a group/team sport, dance classes, gym, get a pet to look after, or a social activity you both enjoy (volunteer together or work on a project together.)
"So alternate, against the grain, anti establishment - so you're just a regular joe again, right?"
The key to a good marriage or long term relationship is remaining individuals. You don't need to sacrifice your own time in order to entertain your girlfriend -- you need to get her interested in a hobby that engages her so she doesn't just feel lonely.
Watching TV is a funny thing -- for a lot of people, it's actually infuriating to watch a TV show while someone else is actually engaged in an activity, even if you can't see them. Personally, I think it causes them to reflect more on their own action (or in-action) and since they don't have anything else to do (since their "hobby" is "watch TV"), they get upset that you have something interesting to do and they don't.
So don't just "give in" and watch shows with her -- get her engaged in other stuff.
I have an awesome marriage and the TV is only on for special events (election), movies, and video games. My wife may watch DailyShow/Colbert once every other month, after a long day. Right now, I'm in here on my computer typing this, and she's setting up a new external hard drive in her room and backing up all of her important files to it. I can go in there and bug her, and vice versa, but because we're both actually DOING something, neither of us feel like we're just avoiding each other.
I also think couples don't have to do everything together. I mean, you're both individuals still. I don't mean go out and party without one another.. .but you know, she watches tv, you game a while, meet up later for dinner and then your together time starts.
As for suggestions, I think board games are really fun. There was this one that me and my husband have for couples... It's an Enchanting Evening or something like that. Really fun.
Also you can just go for walks, go out shopping (if you like that sort of thing), go to movies together (it's always more fun to go to a thearter than to stay at home imo), go to restaurants for the heck of it.. I also second getting a Wii, you guys could have lots of buddy fun time on it, and it's not GoW intensive. :P
And then I made her sit and play WoW for half an hour. Now she has two 70's, one on the way to 80 and it's me who wants to spend time with her.
I would like to submit that getting anyone, up to and including your girlfriend, addicted to WoW is not a good idea and in fact is probably a bad idea.
This.
My girlfriend and I got a Wii, and it provides a good hour or two of entertainment for us every time we're home together.
PSN: rlinkmanl
Parks are awesome.
Oh, and you might be healthier. That's bonus. You don't have to join a gym and start pumping iron. You could simply start walking. You could take up rock-climbing. You could bicycle, swim, run, Frisbee, whatever. It's fun and just good for a million reasons, and it's something to do TOGETHER.