I seem to have a problem living in the moment, and I'm always stuck in my own head. It's like I don't really feel emotions, and I just have to fake it based on a logical decision about how I should feel. I find I don't really "care" about anything. I'm also far too old to have no idea who I actually am, or what I want to do with my life.
Also I don't have any family, and I hate the holidays.
I'm not really depressed though, so that's a plus. And I have some pretty decent friends.
I find I over analyze whether or not I'm keeping good company, whether I'm entertaining or funny, etc. I'm not an inherently outgoing person but I've put a lot of effort into improving that over the years.
It's worst when I find myself worrying about whether my girlfriend is entertained or not whenever she visits, even though I know she expects nothing more than cuddles.
I don't actually dislike hugs, though I do have a large personal bubble and I don't like being touched by people I'm not comfortable with, so it's easier to just keep everyone at bay instead of playing favorites
I'm also incredibly narcissistic, though I never show it. I keep my own ego in check by telling myself that any such notions are facetious in nature, but in reality I'm pretty sure I think that I'm totally fucking awesome and if someone doesn't like me then there is something wrong with them, not me.
That's why occasionally having bouts of depression sucks. I go from feeling on top of the world to feeling like utter, total crap. I'd be happy if I spent more of my time in that middle area, instead of feeling awesome when I'm not depressed and then absolutely godawful when I am depressed.
I'm also incredibly narcissistic, though I never show it. I keep my own ego in check by telling myself that any such notions are facetious in nature, but in reality I'm pretty sure I think that I'm totally fucking awesome and if someone doesn't like me then there is something wrong with them, not me.
For a while I was incredibly egotistical, which I kept under control via a heavy dose of insincere self-depreciation. This worked really well right up until the point where, for reasons I'm still not entirely sure of, I internalized the self-depreciation.
Hooray for shattered self-confidence.
Also, BusterK probably has the best idea - it occurs to me that, while venting is nice and all, it would be fairly easy to trace these posts back to me. Oh well.
I am always lethargic. I just lay around, unmotivated and sedated. I sit there watching work pile up, and it feels great when I go finish it, feels awesome to actually be productive, but the vast majority of my time is spent watching it sit there feeling stressed about it.
Also, I can't sleep. I get about an hour a day. I usually feel pretty fried.
I like to talk to people really openly. It's one way to know that someone is a friend, if they share their secrets with you and vice versa. I draw a line at the work place, and some people are hard to talk to in that manner, but amongst friends I don't have much to hide.
Orik I don't see what the problem would be with sharing your problems
i vent about every stupid anxiety thing and people still talk to me
i hate pity parties
well the idea is that you vent, and then the thread moves past it, it gets locked, and then we start talking about which character from titan ae we'd go down on, forgetting all about the pity party
Meissnerd on
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BusterKNegativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered Userregular
I like to talk to people really openly. It's one way to know that someone is a friend, if they share their secrets with you and vice versa. I draw a line at the work place, and some people are hard to talk to in that manner, but amongst friends I don't have much to hide.
I think that depending on the secret, sometimes it's okay to not be all that open about it. I only say this because of a female friend who had some really terrible stuff happen to her that she hasn't really shared with anyone aside from myself, because she doesn't see there being much of an upside to sharing it with other people. And having sat there and comforted her while she spent a good hour crying because of it, I tend to agree!
Otherwise though, I agree, between friends there has to be a certain level of trust and openness.
I like to talk to people really openly. It's one way to know that someone is a friend, if they share their secrets with you and vice versa. I draw a line at the work place, and some people are hard to talk to in that manner, but amongst friends I don't have much to hide.
I think that depending on the secret, sometimes it's okay to not be all that open about it. I only say this because of a female friend who had some really terrible stuff happen to her that she hasn't really shared with anyone aside from myself, because she doesn't see there being much of an upside to sharing it with other people. And having sat there and comforted her while she spent a good hour crying because of it, I tend to agree!
Otherwise though, I agree, between friends there has to be a certain level of trust and openness.
Well I think I would make an exception for things that are particularly traumatic. It's not always helpful to anyone to share that information except with someone who is particularly close. Additionally, sometimes the things you say have the capacity to seriously hurt others and I would caution against being that reckless, as well.
I know I haven't held to that as well as I'd like, even on this site.
Posts
You're first in line for a slap.
things like that happen every so often
Also I don't have any family, and I hate the holidays.
I'm not really depressed though, so that's a plus. And I have some pretty decent friends.
e: Fucking totp. I'm not a whiny bitch, I swear.
finally all my dreams are coming true
How exactly did you get burns all over your cock?
Well, funny story. There was this Brit...
It's worst when I find myself worrying about whether my girlfriend is entertained or not whenever she visits, even though I know she expects nothing more than cuddles.
Secret Satan
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That's why occasionally having bouts of depression sucks. I go from feeling on top of the world to feeling like utter, total crap. I'd be happy if I spent more of my time in that middle area, instead of feeling awesome when I'm not depressed and then absolutely godawful when I am depressed.
so i've probably been doing it a lot lately
naknaknaknaknak
like this one time where
I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends
I also spend to much time watching Paid programming at 4 in the morning
i vent about every stupid anxiety thing and people still talk to me
For a while I was incredibly egotistical, which I kept under control via a heavy dose of insincere self-depreciation. This worked really well right up until the point where, for reasons I'm still not entirely sure of, I internalized the self-depreciation.
Hooray for shattered self-confidence.
Also, BusterK probably has the best idea - it occurs to me that, while venting is nice and all, it would be fairly easy to trace these posts back to me. Oh well.
If it helps I think you're a pretty awesome guy.
Also, I can't sleep. I get about an hour a day. I usually feel pretty fried.
i hate pity parties
This is SE++'s Grouphug.
Quick, somebody make a joke about dicks!
Hey, thanks Marsh.
naknaknaknaknak
a penis is walking down the street
he was
a-salted!
wait
No, no, it still works. You just have to imagine a, ah... hmm... Well.
way to go, complete stranger
Secret Satan
well the idea is that you vent, and then the thread moves past it, it gets locked, and then we start talking about which character from titan ae we'd go down on, forgetting all about the pity party
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In high school once, we asked a teacher how old he was when he decided he wanted to be a teacher. He said "Thirty-five."
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
That really sounds stupid
But it accurately sums up how I feel
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I think that depending on the secret, sometimes it's okay to not be all that open about it. I only say this because of a female friend who had some really terrible stuff happen to her that she hasn't really shared with anyone aside from myself, because she doesn't see there being much of an upside to sharing it with other people. And having sat there and comforted her while she spent a good hour crying because of it, I tend to agree!
Otherwise though, I agree, between friends there has to be a certain level of trust and openness.
my father is 59 years old
a few months ago we were in the car talking about careers and stuff and he said "Y'know, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up."
i'm a toys r us kid
Well I think I would make an exception for things that are particularly traumatic. It's not always helpful to anyone to share that information except with someone who is particularly close. Additionally, sometimes the things you say have the capacity to seriously hurt others and I would caution against being that reckless, as well.
I know I haven't held to that as well as I'd like, even on this site.
Secret Satan