Orik, your story is good and the lady in your av is pretty.
It reminds me of a time my friend wanted to piss at half time at a football game, so to clear a crowded trough urinal he dropped his pants all the way to his ankles like a little kid.
One time, this kid passive aggressively hit me in the back of the head with a power rangers axe/gun when I was like 10.
And he passive aggressively destroyed every LEGO set of mine that I had built and set up in a beautiful portrait of greatness.
did you passive-aggressively kill his dog
I did a few things to him, but he did some retarded ass shit to himself anyway, like throw his mother's car into drive while in the passenger's seat when he was 9.
And then again later on.
He is valedictorian of my class now.
Graves on
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JohnnyCacheStarting DefensePlace at the tableRegistered Userregular
So...I'm at the safeway, buyin' some food. I want the good sliced turkey from the deli. There's no deli lady. I flag one down.
"Deli lady," I say, "Could you come chop my meat?"
"Sure," she says. She turns out to be the mom of two of the kids from the kids class where I used to do judo.
We chat a little while she bags my meat.
so this is euphemism right
Hahaha yes that's pretty much all I could think of when first reading it. I was like "oh god where is this sex story going"
I've been playing fallout 3
so I was thing "HACKIN AND SMACKING AND WACKIN - CHOPPIN THAT MEAT"
IRT fuzzball
any smart safeway manager would just tell the person "OK I'll fire the bitch right away" hang up the phone and forget about it.
This is what happens every time you complain. Besides, the lady wasn't the assigned deli lady. To find out who did it, he'd have to go to tape, and see she wasn't in line.
One time, this kid passive aggressively hit me in the back of the head with a power rangers axe/gun when I was like 10.
And he passive aggressively destroyed every LEGO set of mine that I had built and set up in a beautiful portrait of greatness.
did you passive-aggressively kill his dog
I did a few things to him, but he did some retarded ass shit to himself anyway, like throw his mother's car into drive while in the passenger's seat when he was 9.
the other day i was standing at the sink, washing my hands
two preppy dudes come in with popped collars and stand next to each other at the urinals
'what are you doin?'
'oh, not much, pissin'.'
'ugh... i know, right?'
and they finish up and leave.
You could have killed them. It would have never made it to trial. I promise you that.
i saw the other dude yesterday and he was pissing and texting at top speed at the same time
it was like machine-gun fire of cell phone buttons
i was impressed
Clearly he must be hung like a light switch, otherwise he would have needed a hand to aim.
Or not and I just have a burning hatred for popped collars. However misplaced it may be. Also, my condolences for being some kind of douche bag magnet. I recommend not using that particular bathroom anymore.
I avoid confrontation entirely until I feel physical assault is justified.
I court physical confrontation. I'm very scary. To mouth off to me, especially when I'm still in my work clothes, you basically have to say to yourself, "This is the beginning of one of those redneck gone amok horror movies and if I tell this guy off I'm placing myself in the role of Winsome College Student #5"
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'm just sayin'. If I were deli lady, I'd think i was worth it anyway.
You wouldn't believe some of the asinine shit that turns into right-ups and suspensions if someone gets pissed off enough to say the right things to the right people. It doesn't help that "consumer advocate" articles are, as often as not, how-to guides for being a pain in the ass.
man you were way more subtle than I would have been.
I'd have hit her with a summer sausage.
The best thing is it is a small town and I will see her out at the bar where I will make her buy me a drink to make it up to me and then I will have her mouth and give her a fake name.
I once went off on some fat bitch who took my chair at a Baskin Robbins while I was at the counter, and then tried to argue with me about having taken my damn chair.
And another time on some lady who bought her kids these huge cones then let them eat half of them before turning them upside down onto the table, spilling some shit and getting up to leave.
I don't go into Baskin Robbins often but when I do I see the most annoying fucking people.
no offense to our canadian friends on here, but when I did customer service for Starbucks Coffee it was universally understood that Canadian customers were overall the whiniest cunt bags with the biggest fucking chips on their shoulders
I once went off on some fat bitch who took my chair at a Baskin Robbins while I was at the counter, and then tried to argue with me about having taken my damn chair.
And another time on some lady who bought her kids these huge cones then let them eat half of them before turning them upside down onto the table, spilling some shit and getting up to leave.
I don't go into Baskin Robbins often but when I do I see the most annoying fucking people.
"So I want to help you finish your shopping. The tiara polish is on aisle 9, the chihuahua chow is on aisle seven and you can find diet books next to the magazine rack, where you can get an US magazine that will tell you how to replace last year's tacky phone and stupid fuzzy boots with this year's."
I can't believe you came up with that in a few seconds. Fucking fantastic stuff.
I think I'd been happier if you just faced her and said "you passive aggressive bitch" in a flat monotone voice, cause that's probably how I would have played it. That or ignoring her entirely.
generally speaking people who eat icecream at icecream parlours are fatties or idiots
what the fuck are you talking about
I buy some ice cream and I go sit down in the parlor and chill out and eat it, usually with a group of friends
I don't see why I have to be constantly on the move while I eat my ice cream
it might just be an australian thing but every time I've actually stayed to eat at an ice cream parlour it's been all cellulite and negligent parenting as far as the eye can see
I think I'd been happier if you just faced her and said "you passive aggressive bitch" in a flat monotone voice, cause that's probably how I would have played it. That or ignoring her entirely.
There is only one word she would understand if you said that, and it starts with bitch.
Spacehog85 on
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JohnnyCacheStarting DefensePlace at the tableRegistered Userregular
no offense to our canadian friends on here, but when I did customer service for Starbucks Coffee it was universally understood that Canadian customers were overall the whiniest cunt bags with the biggest fucking chips on their shoulders
Dude.
Motherfucking german people.
TIP YOU ASSHOLES TIP WE TIP HERE YOU FUCKING TEUTON PIECE OF SHIT I'VE BEEN TO GERMANY AND YOU FUCKING TIP AT HOME AND I KNOW YOU SPEAK ENGLISH AND CAN READ THE THING ABOUT PARTIES OF 8 OR MORE DAMN DUDE
I think I'd been happier if you just faced her and said "you passive aggressive bitch" in a flat monotone voice, cause that's probably how I would have played it. That or ignoring her entirely.
but you've already explained you're a spineless coward who tries to avoid confrontation
"So I want to help you finish your shopping. The tiara polish is on aisle 9, the chihuahua chow is on aisle seven and you can find diet books next to the magazine rack, where you can get an US magazine that will tell you how to replace last year's tacky phone and stupid fuzzy boots with this year's."
I can't believe you came up with that in a few seconds. Fucking fantastic stuff.
I am a pretty glib dude. I've had to develop this talent as the spoken word is what I use to convince people that I be not Sasquatch.
I once went off on some fat bitch who took my chair at a Baskin Robbins while I was at the counter, and then tried to argue with me about having taken my damn chair.
And another time on some lady who bought her kids these huge cones then let them eat half of them before turning them upside down onto the table, spilling some shit and getting up to leave.
I don't go into Baskin Robbins often but when I do I see the most annoying fucking people.
That shit never happens at a cold stone creamery.
The difference between regular ice cream parlors and Coldstone is like the difference between your average "Funland Theme Amusement Park" and Disneyland.
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feels good man
All in a days work for Confuse a Cat services!
I did a few things to him, but he did some retarded ass shit to himself anyway, like throw his mother's car into drive while in the passenger's seat when he was 9.
And then again later on.
He is valedictorian of my class now.
I've been playing fallout 3
so I was thing "HACKIN AND SMACKING AND WACKIN - CHOPPIN THAT MEAT"
IRT fuzzball
any smart safeway manager would just tell the person "OK I'll fire the bitch right away" hang up the phone and forget about it.
This is what happens every time you complain. Besides, the lady wasn't the assigned deli lady. To find out who did it, he'd have to go to tape, and see she wasn't in line.
Sell guilt somewhere else I have no soul.
I host a podcast about movies.
I don't care what you did
as long as it was passive-aggressive
Clearly he must be hung like a light switch, otherwise he would have needed a hand to aim.
Or not and I just have a burning hatred for popped collars. However misplaced it may be. Also, my condolences for being some kind of douche bag magnet. I recommend not using that particular bathroom anymore.
But when I do I have trouble stopping.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
e: grammar bitching totps are the best totps
Ni!
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I court physical confrontation. I'm very scary. To mouth off to me, especially when I'm still in my work clothes, you basically have to say to yourself, "This is the beginning of one of those redneck gone amok horror movies and if I tell this guy off I'm placing myself in the role of Winsome College Student #5"
I host a podcast about movies.
I think you're doing it wrong.
You wouldn't believe some of the asinine shit that turns into right-ups and suspensions if someone gets pissed off enough to say the right things to the right people. It doesn't help that "consumer advocate" articles are, as often as not, how-to guides for being a pain in the ass.
I'd have hit her with a summer sausage.
Oh man, grammar nazis in this thread
EDIT: Sorry about the text on the first one, I was drunk and it was the only one I could find.
The best thing is it is a small town and I will see her out at the bar where I will make her buy me a drink to make it up to me and then I will have her mouth and give her a fake name.
I host a podcast about movies.
And another time on some lady who bought her kids these huge cones then let them eat half of them before turning them upside down onto the table, spilling some shit and getting up to leave.
I don't go into Baskin Robbins often but when I do I see the most annoying fucking people.
What's that? Is that a penis?
it'll lose all its impact
generally speaking people who eat icecream at icecream parlours are fatties or idiots
Yeah sorry, english is a second language i learned poorly.
T Dru: Yeah we complain about fucking everything.
That shit never happens at a cold stone creamery.
I can't believe you came up with that in a few seconds. Fucking fantastic stuff.
what the fuck are you talking about
I buy some ice cream and I go sit down in the parlor and chill out and eat it, usually with a group of friends
I don't see why I have to be constantly on the move while I eat my ice cream
But they make quality sundaes
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
it might just be an australian thing but every time I've actually stayed to eat at an ice cream parlour it's been all cellulite and negligent parenting as far as the eye can see
it was like concentrated Disney World
There is only one word she would understand if you said that, and it starts with bitch.
Dude.
Motherfucking german people.
TIP YOU ASSHOLES TIP WE TIP HERE YOU FUCKING TEUTON PIECE OF SHIT I'VE BEEN TO GERMANY AND YOU FUCKING TIP AT HOME AND I KNOW YOU SPEAK ENGLISH AND CAN READ THE THING ABOUT PARTIES OF 8 OR MORE DAMN DUDE
I host a podcast about movies.
It's all part of the experience. Plus Ben and Jerry's has a bunch of interesting facts and stuff on their tables.
dang it, what stupid bastard ruined this image with text?
I am a pretty glib dude. I've had to develop this talent as the spoken word is what I use to convince people that I be not Sasquatch.
I host a podcast about movies.
"Excuse me, there are tons of empty tables you can take chairs from."
"THERE WAS NO ONE IN THIS CHAIR"
"Well you moved my jacket off of that chair, and someone else is sitting there at my table"
"GET YOUR OWN CHAIR"
"That was my chair. But that's fine, you can keep it.
I'll just take one from another empty table just like your fat ass should have originally.
I'm sorry I swore in front of your kids, but someone needs to let them know that their mother is an inconsiderate b-i-t-c-h."
The difference between regular ice cream parlors and Coldstone is like the difference between your average "Funland Theme Amusement Park" and Disneyland.
It's a wonderful, wonderful place.