Seeking feedback for soon to release webcomic

RetailLife

Ok. We are planning on launching a website for this comic on December 1st. Right now I would like to get some feedback and critique on the material.

Feel free to critique any part of it but what I really want to know is: Do you like it or not? Would you read it if it was a regular m-w-f comic?

Its a sometimes surreal and sarcastic look at the world of commisioned retail... With snakes, and bear and stuff. The images are not really in their final form so ignore any blur.








So, please, feedback...

Spectre-x

Everything is packed too tightly together. As far as the art goes, it's pretty okay, but god jesus christ are those comics dense.

Golem

Nice Style, agree on the packing too tightly. Hopefully someone could give you some pointer on the correct spacing. Im afraid that really isnt my area of expertiese.

Golem

Also love the writing my kind of humor.

Spectre-x

There is such a thing as an edit button.

Golem

Spectre-x wrote:

There is such a thing as an edit button.

Lies, actually I was expecting there to be a post between those too, not used to the slow traffic here quiet yet. In D&D I could have typed that and Id be four pages behind the topic already. But its there now.

Mayday

The perspective of the store from space is bonked.

TychoCelchuuu

Mayday wrote:

The perspective of the store from space is bonked.

No, it has a pointed roof, like a house.

Comic looks nice, I think some of the crowding would be alleviated if the images were just larger. I kind of have to scrunch my eyes up at 1280x1024 to read the small text.

Mayday

OK, seriously though:
Idea of mixing superheroes with sales agents: brilliant.
Font size: too small.
Reason why Ben is breaking his legs: unknown to me.
Art: interesting.

Humour: sometimes pretty good, sometimes overdone. I really like number 1 and 3.
The last one would be funnier to me if the guy interrupted in the middle of the first sentance as soon as he saw Rocky and changed his mind to that plasma immediatly after.

Golem

Mayday wrote:

OK, seriously though:
Idea of mixing superheroes with sales agents: brilliant.
Font size: too small.
Reason why Ben is breaking his legs: unknown to me.
Art: interesting.

Humour: sometimes pretty good, sometimes overdone. I really like number 1 and 3.
The last one would be funnier to me if the guy interrupted in the middle of the first sentance as soon as he saw Rocky and changed his mind to that plasma immediatly after.

Reason why Ben is breaking his legs: the woman broke them. ie thing anime chick + anime guy that hit on her.

Spectre-x

She just says hello. That is in no way any reason for anybody to break anybody's legs.

Lly

The text is tiny. I have to peer at my monitor to read it. Also the black and white ones are much better than the coloured ones IMO.

RetailLife

Mayday wrote:

OK, seriously though:
Idea of mixing superheroes with sales agents: brilliant.
Font size: too small.
Reason why Ben is breaking his legs: unknown to me.
Art: interesting.

Humour: sometimes pretty good, sometimes overdone. I really like number 1 and 3.
The last one would be funnier to me if the guy interrupted in the middle of the first sentance as soon as he saw Rocky and changed his mind to that plasma immediatly after.

The Superhero element is in Ben's head, those are his Angel/Devil sides named Drive and Caveat Emptor. This is better explained if the comics are read in sequence, this was jsut a sampling.

I will have to work on the size for larger desktops. I optimizes it for 800X600 cause I didn't want people to have ot side scroll on older machines. I think I will be shrinking the image first and then adding the dialogue in with Illustrator instead of dialogue than shrinking. I'm jsut the writer not the artist so I'm still figuring out der puter grafix.

Ben got trampled by Danni, because she didn't even notice him. Shes an ice queen.

Really? I always envisioned the rocky scene as being more drawn out like in the comic. I will take it under advisment.

We probably won't do much but clean up these batch, but we will take suggestions to heart with the ones we are working on.

I do imagine that at higher resolutions it is rather tiny. How do I get around that? I don't want to alienate users with high end desktop settings any more than I want ot alienate users with lower settings. Any suggestions on bridging that gap?

RetailLife

I just looked at it in 1280X1024. It is pretty fuzzy.

I jsut need to play with the Illustrator files and figure out the best way to save it for the web without getting that grainy look.

I don't think people want to download the 2mb image files so I gotta do something.

Thanks for the comments, keep em coming.

RetailLife

Revision for the first two, trying to find the balance:





Better?

The Celestial

I lost interest about two comics in. Maybe webcomics with some semblance of a story and characters I have to keep track off just turn me off, but I had no freaking clue what was going on.

Reading comics shouldn't be a chore.

The art looks neato though. I'd like to see some of your work that wasn't being crushed by the weight of so many frames and text bubbles and frames and frames and frames.

RetailLife

The site launched today if anyone wants to take a look

the domain name is jjsunshines, you can figure out the rest.

If you like it let us know. We took all the suggestions into account and made several changes to the comics we did since then. The ones you see here are essentially unchanged though except for the text being fixed.

MagicToaster

The Celestial wrote:

Reading comics shouldn't be a chore.

This is how I feel. I can't get myself to finish it.

RetailLife

I realise that with the scattered sampling that some of the characters are not explained. They were introduced and developed in previour strips. If you read them in sequence as we post them it should all be pretty strait forward.