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I have just read the funniest newspaper article, and it's not even in The Onion

bongibongi regular
edited December 2008 in Social Entropy++
Little Hitler's unhappy birthday

No cake for three-year-old Adolf in latest instance of parents naming and shaming their children



Heath-Campbell-with-wife--001.jpg
Heath Campbell, left, with his wife Deborah and son Adolf Hitler, three. Photograph: Rich Schultz/AP

A three-year-old boy called Adolf Hitler Campbell has been refused a birthday cake with his name on it by a New Jersey supermarket.
Heath Campbell, 35, and his wife, Deborah, 25, say they are upset at the decision made by their local ShopRite not to write "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler" across the cake, and that people needed to move forward.
Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because "no one else in the world would have that name".
"They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what [Hitler] did," he said.
Not to be defeated, the family ended up getting their cake decorated at a Walmart in Pennsylvania.
The problem is likely to be one they face again – their younger children are JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who is nearly two, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, named after the SS head Heinrich Himmler. Honszlynn turns one in April.
Is this the most inappropriate – or unfair – naming of children you have heard of? There was, of course, the case in July this year of a nine-year-old girl from New Zealand whose parents called her Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. A lawyer acting for the girl claimed she was so embarrassed she told friends her name was "K" instead.
She was placed into court guardianship so her name could be changed after judge Rob Murfit ruled it had set her up with a "social disability and handicap".
He went on to signal his concern about other names given to children, including Violence, Midnight Chardonnay and Number 16 Bus Shelter. There was a set of twins named Benson and Hedges.


http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/blog/2008/dec/17/adolf-hitler-birthday-new-jersey

I laughed until I cried at those names.

bongi on
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    doublehawk00doublehawk00 Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    wait the person on the left is a dude? really?

    doublehawk00 on
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    ascotascot Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    No no no, this is seriously the funniest thing I've read in a newspaper in a long time
    Official: Coca-Cola is not a contraceptive

    Coca-Cola does not work as a contraceptive despite what some teenagers might think, say experts.
    In fact, using the fizzy drink as a douche after sex may even raise vulnerability to sexual diseases.

    Although the classic Coke bottle shape lends itself to a 'shake and shoot' applicator, the belief that the drink's acidity kills sperm is wrong and it could actually damage vaginal tissues, said Harvard professor Deborah Anderson.

    The Metro

    ascot on
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    fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    but

    but bongi

    :(

    fightinfilipino on
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    the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Number 16 Bus Shelter

    the wook on
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    Stormin JoeStormin Joe Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    ascot wrote: »
    No no no, this is seriously the funniest thing I've read in a newspaper in a long time
    Official: Coca-Cola is not a contraceptive

    Coca-Cola does not work as a contraceptive despite what some teenagers might think, say experts.
    In fact, using the fizzy drink as a douche after sex may even raise vulnerability to sexual diseases.

    Although the classic Coke bottle shape lends itself to a 'shake and shoot' applicator, the belief that the drink's acidity kills sperm is wrong and it could actually damage vaginal tissues, said Harvard professor Deborah Anderson.

    The Metro

    hahahaha "shake and shoot applicator"

    Stormin Joe on
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    bongibongi regular
    edited December 2008
    fightinfilipino wrote: »
    but

    but bongi

    :(
    Yeah but Talula does the Hula from Hawaii and Number 16 Bus Shelter too!

    bongi on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Talula does the hula from Hawaii

    bwanie on
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    ascotascot Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Seriously, who has ever looked at a coke bottle and NOT thought "hey this would make an excellent contraceptive douche!"

    ascot on
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    GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I read an article last year about some mafia nonsense in my local area.

    The reporter was like verbally shitting on the mob.

    "(Tony Spaghetti) claimed that the weapon he brandished was no more than a pellet gun. What's this? The mob has gotten so soft they don't carry real guns anymore?"

    Graves on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    i know its just olorandom but i'm cracking up here.

    bwanie on
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    fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    oh that's true.

    man i'd love to name my kids Sachs and Violens. obscure 80s mature comics go!

    fightinfilipino on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    the wook wrote: »
    Number 16 Bus Shelter

    holy shit does this name rule or what

    it's like in apocalypse films everyone is name like kitkat or heinz 57 varieties

    this kid is like ahead of the trend

    Nuzak on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    man talula got off light here
    article wrote:
    In his written ruling, he listed other names that were prohibited by registration officials. They included Stallion, Yeah Detroit, Fish and Chips, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit.

    Nuzak on
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    GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Aahaha Sex Fruit.

    What's wrong with Stallion.

    lol

    Graves on
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    GenericFanGenericFan Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Some people in New Zealand wanted to name their son 4real, then were outraged that numbers aren't allowed in people's names

    Some people huh?

    GenericFan on
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    satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    sex fruit is the title of r kelly's new hit single

    many of these are the titles of r kelly's new hit single

    satansfingers on
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    ShoggothShoggoth Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Coke douche is horrifying, holy shit.

    Shoggoth on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I wanna name my kid Sex Fruit

    I'd spell it different though probably

    Ceksfrute Manizza

    Straightzi on
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    GeoMitchGeoMitch Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I like how they think people need to move forward while they're naming their child after the most anti-Semitic man in the history of the world.

    GeoMitch on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    Aahaha Sex Fruit.

    What's wrong with Stallion.

    lol

    it's already taken, right graves 8-)

    Nuzak on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Wait no throw another z in there that'd be rad

    Czeksfrute

    Or maybe even Czekzfrute

    Straightzi on
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    satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    GeoMitch wrote: »
    I like how they think people need to move forward while they're naming their child after the most anti-Semitic man in the history of the world.

    it is pretty clear that these people are giant white supremacists

    satansfingers on
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2008
    that father totally looks like he does meth

    Druhim on
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    ShoggothShoggoth Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    froot

    Shoggoth on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    that father totally looks like he does meth

    Snorts coke off her aryan ass

    Straightzi on
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    Mr. GMr. G Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I think I'll name my first child after a band
    Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! will be a wonderful kid

    Mr. G on
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    FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I have just read the funniest newspaper article, and it's not even in The Onion

    color me fucking surprised

    Fallout on
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    satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Mr. G wrote: »
    I think I'll name my first child after a band
    Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! will be a wonderful kid

    i'm sorry, but i'm going to have to sterilize you

    satansfingers on
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    KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2008
    Fallout wrote: »
    I have just read the funniest newspaper article, and it's not even in The Onion

    color me fucking surprised

    The premises for Onion articles are funny.

    Killjoy on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I know a guy with the last name Silver who says he's going to name his kid Titania Malloy

    Straightzi on
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    ShankusuShankusu __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2008
    if I had to name my kid after a band, well

    I would bet that Wolf Parade Lawson will have a good life because his name is 100% awesome

    Shankusu on
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    satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    as someone with a name people can easily comment on

    it blows

    satansfingers on
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2008
    Didn't we already have a thread on this?

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
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    ShankusuShankusu __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2008
    i might have the best name

    i used to hate it so much but

    might just be the best

    Shankusu on
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    the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Killjoy wrote: »
    Fallout wrote: »
    I have just read the funniest newspaper article, and it's not even in The Onion

    color me fucking surprised

    The premises for Onion articles are funny.

    I love this one

    the wook on
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    ascotascot Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Historic Blockbuster Museum

    ascot on
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    Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The funniest article I read today was abot how Eddie Murphy was signed up to play the Riddler in the new Batman film.

    Bad-Beat on
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    KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    HIPPIES

    Krentz on
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    ascotascot Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I hate it when people underline things and it turns out not to be a link to something good.

    ascot on
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    KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    ascot wrote: »
    I hate it when people underline things and it turns out not to be a link to something good.

    Fixed.

    Krentz on
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