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I get the idea of the movie and you really need another idea. I get the idea that he is a 'gamer' and doesn't do anything but play games. You might be better served opening up with the second scene if you really want to stay with what you have. The first scene is just bad all around. It's been years since I've tried to make a movie but all in all this is a horrible short. The writing isn't there, the acting isn't there, the sound is bad, it's redunant ect ect. Don't stop making movies if it's something you like to do but don't expect this to reach #Texas amount of plays on youtube.
Yeah, you might think differently a couple of more posts down the line, as long as you're not a crybaby. You're not a cry baby, are you? In any case, I didn't really think it was funny. It would be better if the it was an PVP online battle and the guy went -"Yeah, he wins all the time but I bet he never gets laid", then you cut to the guy on the other house and he's knee deep in girls and still kicking ass.
Yeah, you might think differently a couple of more posts down the line, as long as you're not a crybaby. You're not a cry baby, are you? In any case, I didn't really think it was funny. It would be better if the it was an PVP online battle and the guy went -"Yeah, he wins all the time but I bet he never gets laid", then you cut to the guy on the other house and he's knee deep in girls and still kicking ass.
The pauses between conversations need to be shortened, and as the guys said, comedic timing is way off here. Also, if you want this to be a success with gamers, be realistic. I don't think the fastest, most complex fighter requires anyone to be pushing all the buttons on a controller as fast as possible. Invest in a boom mic and some lights - or rent them, if you can.
If you love doing it, keep doing it, and someday you will get it right
Rohan on
...and I thought of how all those people died, and what a good death that is. That nobody can blame you for it, because everyone else died along with you, and it is the fault of none, save those who did the killing.
Yeah, you might think differently a couple of more posts down the line, as long as you're not a crybaby. You're not a cry baby, are you? In any case, I didn't really think it was funny. It would be better if the it was an PVP online battle and the guy went -"Yeah, he wins all the time but I bet he never gets laid", then you cut to the guy on the other house and he's knee deep in girls and still kicking ass.
only if you use the most literal interpretation and shots/framing, which isn't going to be funny anyway
This is by no means supposed to be a fully high quality thing yet. no one in the crew except me and the DP have done any acting or such before. hard to get people with more skill than lucky friends and such for a bit. but thanks for the comments. should be very useful to me in my next movie.
Posts
O w8, its not even funny. WOuld be funnier as a comic
What the shits does that even mean?
I get the idea of the movie and you really need another idea. I get the idea that he is a 'gamer' and doesn't do anything but play games. You might be better served opening up with the second scene if you really want to stay with what you have. The first scene is just bad all around. It's been years since I've tried to make a movie but all in all this is a horrible short. The writing isn't there, the acting isn't there, the sound is bad, it's redunant ect ect. Don't stop making movies if it's something you like to do but don't expect this to reach #Texas amount of plays on youtube.
Yeah, you might think differently a couple of more posts down the line, as long as you're not a crybaby. You're not a cry baby, are you? In any case, I didn't really think it was funny. It would be better if the it was an PVP online battle and the guy went -"Yeah, he wins all the time but I bet he never gets laid", then you cut to the guy on the other house and he's knee deep in girls and still kicking ass.
Comedy is all in the pauses. Right now, there really are none.
If you love doing it, keep doing it, and someday you will get it right
Nothing's forgotten, nothing is ever forgotten
only if you use the most literal interpretation and shots/framing, which isn't going to be funny anyway
Good luck with your next project.